Hutty1986 gallops in, hoping to help the Bluebags get 2014 off to a cracking start!
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Lets be realistic here
Alright, Im just going to come out and say it; I dont know how New South Wales can win State of Origin this year.
Firstly, theres the injuries. Every bloke and his dog seems to be out of action at the moment and unfortunately for the Blues, Mitchell Pearce remains fully fit. Even our back-up back-ups are injured. Tariq Sims probably had Buckleys chance of playing SOO this year but even hes busted. Mick Jennings candy heels have been put on ice and James ideal 1950s gangster name Maloney is far from 100%.
But thats not all. Lets take a look at the opposition, shall we? Jonathon conspiracy theorist Thurston. If hes not the best player on the planet, he at least made the semis and probably got beaten there by a seventh-tackle try. He can run, he can kick, he sets up tries, he competes like a dog with a bone each and every game. Not only that, hes got the best laugh in the game. If you havent heard it, its a little bit like Muttley after a few cones.
Cooper fires in my village Cronk. The consummate professional. Rumour has it this bloke writes out his play-sheet and memorises it before he beds his missus. And you just know he wont be straying from that game plan, either. Even his haircut is regimented. Short back and sides. No loutish mo-hawks, faux-hawks or hair dye for this fella.
Cameron H&R Block Smith. Now you Maroon bastards are just taking the piss. This guy shouldnt be a footballer, he should be helping me get the best possible tax refund. Alas, he plays footy and even Ill admit hes handy at it. Tackles all day, plays direct, even sets up the occasional try. I wish our halfback could set up tries.
Those are just three members of what is a positively star-studded Queensland outfit. Chuck in Greg Inglis (I guess you could also fly him in, if the weathers dry), Billy Slater and some brutally effective forwards and you have a hell of a side. Heck, even Chuck Norris would struggle to grab a bench spot. Just kidding, hed be captain-coach of any team.
So is that enough reasons yet? Have I mentioned the fact that the Maroons have two home games this year at a venue where they havent lost a 'live' match since 2005? Oh, well theres that too. Those cane-turds always grow an extra leg, arm and head at Fortress Suncorp. The action is so fast and frenetic, that sometimes their supporters cant bear to leave their seats for one second
even for the most basic bodily functions.
Lets not forget M. Pearce. One of the most maligned Origin players of all time, and for good reason. Junior junior has now played an even dozen SOO games. So thats 12 games, nine of which he has lost. Those are pretty grim figures for a key playmaker, even one playing for a side that has struggled to win a chook raffle for nigh on a decade now. Cue the mouth-breathing, foam-at-the-lips Chooks fans here.
But hes won a premiership now, hes matured!
We wouldnt have won the comp without him last year!
Didnt you see his (regulation) pass to an (unmarked) second-rower in last years grand final????
He has cool tats!
Who else are you going to pick at seven for the Blues?
That last one, thats the doozy that gets me every time. No-one else is reallllllly putting their hand up, so lets go with one of the most accomplished representative losers of the modern era. Maybe theyre right; maybe hell actually come good this year. And to be fair, his tattoos are a lot better than Todd Carneys. Whoever convinced him to get that face/zombie/Michael Jackson thing on his chest must have some excellent powers of persuasion.
All is not lost though, fellow Blues fans. There is one man who can help us stop the rot. Jarryd not just a great player, but an effective variety of transport options Hayne. Geez, I love Haynesy. He has consistently been NSWs finest player for the past eight long, dreary years.
This has lead me to come up with the greatest complimentary catch-phrase a Rugby League player can receive; Looks like Tarzan, plays like Hayne.
So in conclusion, Queensland has a near-invincible side, the home-ground advantage and eight years of dominance behind them. NSW has Haynesy.
Oh f*ck it, Blues 2-1.