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I have borderline personality disorder (BPD). AMA.

Patorick

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Hey Pat, just wanted to say Happy New Year and hope you’re doing well mate. Let us know if you want to grab a beer in round 6
Doing good Vic, thank you for asking.

Would honestly prefer a tea or coffee, but not sure if I can make it to any games in person though.

Later,

Pat
 

Patorick

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Hi Patrick,

Thanks for sharing these links and info.

Have you ever been checked for leaky gut syndrome and food allergies/sensitivities? I am asking because there is a link between that condition and auto-immune conditions.

My health issues (anxiety, depression, hypertension, schizophrenia, chronic fatigue) and my interest into science led me to find that out.

I am now fixing my leaky gut to try and fix my other issues. My schizophrenic symptoms have greatly lessened since I cut out the multiple food allergies I have that were causing me auto-immune reactions and I am have become nearly all vegan ; I am on the paleo/AIP diet.

I am thankful to have found someone to talk to about it, sharing my story that openly is something I have never done due to the shame and fear around it and I don't know anyone who has a severe mental condition, I think you can understand....

Cheers from France. I have lived in Australia for 5 years and have just returned home.

I love Australians, you guys are warm and lovely people.

Feel free to share my messages on your blogs if you want to.

I will stay in touch.


Hey,

Not sure about leaky gut syndrome or food allergies, but I am very conscious of gluten and try to eat as mindfully as possible with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Lots of exercise too in terms of soccer, yoga and dog walks. It all helps.

I’m an open book, happy to talk to you and people in general about BPD and mental wellness. There is no stigmatic shame to me with mental health. I understand that some people are very personally private about their mental issues and that’s ok. You are not defined by the illness that you have been diagnosed with, you are still a sentient being that requires peace, love and understanding. You deserve to know that your feelings are relevant and that you as a person are important.

Social stigma towards people living with severe mental illnesses is an issue and there is nothing that we can do to change that. Some people are committed to misjudging us and our behaviors, but that is ok. They are entitled to their mentality and I respect their divergent views. They are objects of compassion that also need peace, love and beautiful light. Everyone does.

Later,

Pat.

patorick@bigpond.com

http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick

http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama.461654/

https://silvertails.net/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama-please.51172/

https://themighty.com/author/patrick-flynn/

https://www.facebook.com/patorick.flynn.1

https://www.facebook.com/Embrace-Mental-Health-Meetups-1089415667776279
...
 

Patorick

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Is it possible to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder?

https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-to-recover-from-Borderline-Personality-Disorder

Answered by Cate Caton on the 14th of January.

Of all the personality disorders, BPD has the most hope for recovery. Why? Because it is the one where the empathy of the individual is intact. BPD people ultimately turn against themselves, blaming themselves and taking too much responsibility for problems. They lash out at others in frustration and emotional dysregulation, then blame themselves for the reaction and results. This is a good thing, because it means they are still willing to take some responsibility for their behaviors as the cause of problems, which means they can self examine and make efforts to change. Narcissists blame others, and feel fine about themselves depending heavily on defense mechanisms, so there is no motivation to self examine and make changes.

The key issues of BPD are that damage has occurred usually from neglect and abuse early in life, and the individual feels invalidated, unheard and needing validation and reassurance from others. They do not feel a stable sense of self because of past abuse, and lean on others, things, purchases, drugs, etc…to get reassurance of their goodness and value as a person. They use relationships as source for validation and pleasure, but move too quickly out of despair and emotional neediness.

The individual with BPD should look at their history and the messages they received from important people, then work against negative messages. Abandonment issues should be examined as well. The Whole Object Relations of a person with BPD is not intact, learn to accept others and situations as both good and bad, valuable and flawed. Black and white thinking is not helpful, learn to be neutral when evaluating a person and situation. Mindfulness if very helpful for this, and part of Dialectic Behavioral therapy. Learn to tolerate distress from situations without lashing out and reacting, and learn to self soothe internally without using outside crutches, even other people.

Learn acceptance of yourself as good AND bad and most importantly, validate yourself realistically and with acceptance. As long as a person has empathy, a true desire to be connected to others in a healthy way for the right reasons (mutual emotional support, helping each other, and caring for and about each other), there is hope for change and growth. Self reliance is the key and acceptance for when others disappoint, because they surely will.

https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-to-recover-from-Borderline-Personality-Disorder
 

Patorick

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Why do people with BPD leave such an impact which makes them hard to forget?

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-with-BPD-leave-such-an-impact-which-makes-them-hard-to-forget

Answered by John Davies (BA Hons from University of Wales Cardiff UWIC) on the 20th of January 2018.

They open up a huge wound, it’s not one they made, it’s one your parents did years ago.

They took you high to a place you always wanted to go, they took you high and convinced you, you were worth so much and you were special. You finally believed that you were worth so much and hadn’t been that happy in years and years.

They re-enacted the insecurity screwed up people associate with loving someone. It’s not the flat, stable, conservative feeling we want, it’s a high. If you only saw dad at the weekends, then the weekends were special, not because dad was but because you craved the attention and being liked by someone you feared didn’t creates such a strong response in you.

Borderlines idealize, like a Hollywood movie love. It doesn’t last because they feel they don’t deserve you, and maybe you feel you never deserved them - and that’s tough on you both.

It re-opens a chasm of neglect, abuse, loneliness, emptiness and destruction that maybe you thought was long forgotten, they are a teacher in some ways. they show you what’s wrong with you, it’s up to you to join the dots and see what you need to do for yourself.

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-with-BPD-leave-such-an-impact-which-makes-them-hard-to-forget
 

Patorick

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So very grateful to have made the local paper again.

#pagesix

At the risk of sounding self-promotional...

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Buddhist monk to lead educational seminars in Wagga this weekend

http://www.dailyadvertiser.com.au/s...tional-seminars-in-wagga-this-weekend/?cs=148

By Lachlan Grey

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REFLECTION: Peir Woon, Geshe Sherab and Patrick Flynn share a moment of contemplation. Geshe will lead seminars in Wagga this weekend. Picture: Laura Hardwick

February 9 2018 - 2:52PM

Wagga residents have the opportunity to open their hearts and minds this weekend with a series of seminars presented by respected Buddhist teacher Geshe Sherab.

Geshe has travelled across the globe sharing his knowledge and is excited to teach in Wagga for the first time since 2016.

“We want teach people how to be aware of themselves and care for themselves and their minds,” he said.

“You can change your whole outlook on life and experience new things.”

Wagga’s Patrick Flynn has been practicing Buddhism for 13 months and says he has already felt the benefits.

“The study of mindfulness and relaxing was something of interest to me,” he said.

“It’s about learning to let go of egotistical illusions … and all those things you hang onto mentally.”


Click here for more information on the sessions.
 

Patorick

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The+Wheel+of+Life+-+Samsara.jpg
 

Patorick

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Is quiet borderline less dangerous than classic borderline?

https://www.quora.com/Is-quiet-borderline-less-dangerous-than-classic-borderline

Answered by Crystal Chaffee, Diagnosed (Saturday, February 24, 2018).

Thank you for the request. Before you finish reading this know that I am diagnosed with BPD so I'm just speaking from experience.

Someone with BPD can be dangerous, but not in the conventional methods we think of as danger. We can be extremely dangerous to ourselves and to people involved with us. We have been known to self injure and have other “self-damaging” impulsive habits like reckless driving, unprotected sexual encounters and drug abuse. We tear people down when we throw fits. We say horrible, mean things to people we genuinely love. We lie and manipulate the truth for our own benefit, damaging our reputations and relationships. To top all that off sometimes we are physically aggressive with explosive anger that seems to have no reason at times.

Quiet borderlines are just more dangerous to themselves than other people. Like I said we aren't dangerous by conventional standards but we are dangerous to our own mental health and sometimes other people’s mental health. Sometimes we are a danger to ourselves because we can get suicidal too.

This is a generalization of course not all people with borderline personality disorder experience the same symptoms and with the correct treatment they don't have to.

Does that make us a danger to society? No. It makes us a danger to ourselves. Most people with any mental disorder are their own worst enemy because the believe the bullshit their own mind feeds them. If people want the stigma to be gone then they need to change the way others see us by getting treatment and being responsible for the actions they take.

I was lost once in the darkness that is BPD. Was it easy to get out of? No. It's a lot of hard work and painful memories to let go of. But is it worth it? Absolutely.

https://www.quora.com/Is-quiet-borderline-less-dangerous-than-classic-borderline
 

Patorick

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Hi Patrick,

I hope you are well.

I have another question about Borderline Personality Disorder;

Does people with B.P.D. have more trouble keeping a job than people without B.P.D.?

I knew this guy that I'm fairly certain had B.P.D., and he was constantly going through jobs like candy.

Thanks again.


Hey.

Thank you for your message and good question.

My personal opinion is that having BPD is a full time job in and of itself.

So that is why it's so difficult keeping a job on top of managing your BPD.

Your friend going through jobs like candy sound very much like a BPD symptom.

I'm very privileged, blessed and lucky in that my job has flexible hours so I'm not needed all day everyday.

This gives me time to rest, recharge and refocus my energy.

The reality that you have to radically accept is that managing your BPD is your full time job for the rest of your life.

Staying on top of your mood disorder with positive coping mechanisms (whatever they may be).

The better you are dealing with your mental health the easier keeping your job and enjoying it will be.

Helpful links:
https://www.borderlinepersonalitytreatment.com/borderline-personality-disorder-job.html
https://www.verywellmind.com/bpd-and-career-choices-425401
https://forums.psychcentral.com/borderline-personality-disorder/286229-best-jobs-someone-bpd.html

Later,

Pat.
 

Patorick

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How can a therapist help a client with borderline personality disorder acquire a sense of self?

https://www.quora.com/How-can-a-the...-personality-disorder-acquire-a-sense-of-self

Answered by Julie Gurner (A doc of psychology) on April the 6th 2018.

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often suffer from an unstable sense of self (technically called “identity diffusion”)…there are a lot of reasons for that, but this is how a therapist can help them - if the therapist is properly trained.

I say that, because often times, patients with BPD will go to therapists *for years* with no results - and honestly, it’s usually because the therapist is not trained in DBT or specialty treatments that truly help these individuals, and they should be referring them to people who do have this training.

Here’s 4 Things We Do (in a vague way - every person is different).

1. We help Define Boundaries. Boundaries are rough for people with BPD, and often very difficult to adjust to…but boundaries help people to know where they end, and the other person begins. We start here because without knowing this line, it’s often confusing to define who you are. Therapists might start out drawing the boundaries by using the therapeutic relationship with you as a model…but the hope is, that you’ll learn to draw boundaries in your own life outside of the office.

2. We give you Emotional Regulation Skills. We teach you how to regulate your emotions that can be so intense and seemingly unmanageable. While that is challenging, mastering it gives people a sense of confidence. Emotions don’t have to control them anymore - they control their emotions. That’s very powerful.

3. We help to Build Self-Esteem. How do you know that you are worthy of respect or who you are if you have no self-esteem? We help you to see yourself as stable (see emotional regulation skills), well-defined regardless of others (boundaries), and start to develop who you are…and that person is usually really cool.

4. We help you to define yourself, not allow others to create that definition. People with BPD often come from unstable backgrounds where they based who they were from other people’s reaction to them. By taking that power back, it creates an entirely new dynamic of interacting with other people…a stable sense of self that translates to all environments.

People with BPD aren’t “bad clients,” they just have problems not every therapist is equipped to deal with. Look for a therapist with DBT training, and find the good ones! While this isn’t everything, obviously, it gives you a good insight into how we help a client with BPD acquire a sense of self.

https://www.quora.com/How-can-a-the...-personality-disorder-acquire-a-sense-of-self
 
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