Titan Uranus back to full fitness charges on for the Titans somewhat unhappy at having his wordplay hampered by not being able to use the abbreviation of cockerel.
Oh well 744 words in the OWC
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Ins and Outs
Plenty has been written about the teams in the NRL play-offs but what about the hearty souls competing in lesser known championships. Well, after hours of trawling the Net, I can reveal to you this exclusive report published in little-known tabloid
The Daily Spurt about how the Effsevens Premiership play-off teams have faired over the season so far.
Titans Still Breast Men?
Mammaries of 2008 Last season saw the Effsevens new boys the Titans win the Grand Final against the games previous giants the Bluebags to become the games best.
This was done with a small squad and going into the new season, captain Titanic decided that small was beautiful and only brought in two new players to strengthen the team.
It is rumoured the mammary fixated captain only signed Tittoolate and TITs_ANonymouS because their names reflected what he thought the Titans should be all about. On the way out was team founder Robster, who headed south to the Bunnies.
Meanwhile Beaves registration was kept for a further season, but has only played for the reserves this year mostly because, as his name reflects, he is not focusing on the right area to be a true Titty.
That Sinking Feeling At first it seemed that the Titanic skipper had steered his team straight into an Effsevens iceberg, with the team losing 100% of their opening two games.
The team stayed calm though and refused to man the lifeboats, knowing that it wasnt so much of an iceberg as an ice cube.
Since then, they have won 100% of their games with the new Tits proving their worth.
New Cockerels of the Walk? 2009 saw old-but-new franchise. the Roosters. gamely challenge all-comers led by rookie captain Non-Terminator.
Despite going hard at it, the newbies were not able to displace seasoned challengers, such as fellow blue boys the Bags, and fell at the first play-off hurdle finding themselves mauled by the Panthers.
The Bluebags, pride hurt by their Grand Final loss at the end of 2008, severely roughed up the Titans in the opening game of 2009 despite losing GF POTM Dave Q to the Souths.
Many said that this game created a hangover effect that caused them to fail the following week against the Warriors.
However, having been present at the celebration party that followed the Titans defeat,
The Spurt knows that it wasnt so much a hangover effect that saw them lose, as actual hangovers.
Monkey Business The Bluebags number 69 and vice-captain, Gorilla and Everlovin Antichrist, were dropped for the following two rounds following a party punch-up resulting from Gorillas insistence on offering to show why he has his shirt number to EAs secret lover and fellow team mate.
Rumour as to who the said player is rife but nothing has been proven.
Eventually the two made up and the Baggers went from strength to strength and won the minor premiership.
They are now looking forward once again to grabbing a hold of the Titties again and rubbing their faces in it.
Penrith Just Pants? After not making the play-offs last season, the team from Penrith were more determined than ever to prove that they werent just a team of showmen, all style and no substance, and that Panthers are not just big pussies.
Following the trend among teams near the top, they kept their numbers to a minimum, eschewing long-term crowd favourites [Furrycat] and Glockers for two other players.
Influential player Madunit realised that playing in sunnies wasnt helping, but the team needed a certain something, a certain pizzazz, a certain WOW factor.
It was this that led to Big Mick signing two Broncos to the team who proved to be solid squad players that helped power the team into the play-offs and comfortably take the Cockerels.
West Island = Best Island? The in form team of the early season was unquestionably the NZ Warriors led by the evergreen Jessbass. Although being able to make use of a fairly large squad it would seem that the Warriors may have finally run out of juice after losing two of their last three games.
The Panthers are looking to capitalise on this and show that not only can they entertain the crowds week in, week out, but are also a force to be reckoned with.
Crunch Time The Cockerels have wilted leaving just four teams battling to see you will come out on top. Who itll be, only time will tell.