tits&tans for the PNG Kumuls careers on to the pitch is his
sanlunche, screeches to a halt in front of the millions of screaming Chinese fans, and realises he has forgotten his chopsticks and rice bowl.
747 words (OWC) between the stars
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The Big Time
Space is big. You just wont believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is.**
Time is even bigger. In fact, its so big that its either infinitely measurable or finitely immeasurable. To decide how big time is, we need to decide whether time has a beginning and an end.
Some argue that time existed before the beginning of space, but I believe these two beginnings coincided. If we assume that time has no beginning, then it must have existed for an infinitely long time back into the past. Therefore, it would have taken an infinitely large amount of time to reach this moment. As an infinite amount of time would have no end, then this moment could never have occurred. Therefore, time cannot be infinite, and must, in fact, have a beginning.
Now, if we look forward to the future of time, things become tricky. If the universe is a closed system, then the current expansion speed wont exceed the escape velocity of the system itself and the universe will begin to contract, eventually resulting in a Big Crunch. Time, by our current definition, would cease to exist and therefore be proved to be finite. But, if the universe is open, then it will continue expanding and time would never end.
Whilst cosmologists battle these questions, we have measurements in place to determine, if not the absolute then at least the relative size of time. As league fans, I am sure you are even familiar with some of the following:
Yoctosecond: time required to complete a particularly tough victory.
Zeptosecond: variation of the time required for a Yank to understand League.
Exasecond: time taken for a losing team to leave the field.
Picoannum: time taken for Hopoate to invade another player.
Time is a central concept to our modern lives, and has been since our ancestors crawled out of the primordial soup. We use time to sequence events (is it boots or shorts on first?), compare the duration of events (is the first half as long as the second?) and the intervals between them (how long should breaks be?), and to quantify the motion of objects (e.g. balls and teeth). Time brings regulation to our lives, without which we would be unable to function effectively; whether in the classroom, office, boardroom, or most importantly on the field. Without time, our game would not be what it is today.
Our modern language reflects just how integrated time has become and how crucial time is in our favourite sport:
Passing time when the ball is in flight.
Killing time when the opposition is taking a beating.
Time is on your side being in control of the play.
Time is of the essence needing to take control of the play.
Double time get your ass moving down the field.
Time out the American weak-ass version of the period when a player needs to shake off a hit.
Time flies when youre having fun as does blood.
Timing is everything the right angle at the precise second, determines whether or not it will fly through or sail past the uprights.
Break time a period of aggression designed to intimidate and hurt the opposition.
And of course half
time and full
time.
Of all recent intellectual breakthroughs, perhaps the one that league players can relate to most is Einsteins special relativity; that is the speed of light is the same for all observers, regardless of their frame of motion. Under normal conditions, the consequences match our common sense experiences, but under the particularly severe conditions of a league match (high speeds and pressures), the effects become quite apparent.
Who hasnt noticed:
how slowly the last few minutes of a close game go?
how one second can seem like an age when eyeing an incoming bomb?
how those few seconds of ecstasy after scoring the match-winning try can last a lifetime?
The answer is time dilation clocks run more slowly at high speeds and time is effectively slowed down.
The importance of time to our game is in no doubt; just try to imagine a match, let alone our entire sport, without the concept of time ... I rest my case.
So, Id like to take my hat off to time, without whom we would not be able to enjoy league in all its glory. Lets hear a big it up for time. Woop, woop. Time is here to stay, big time!
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** With thanks to Douglas Adams'
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy