[furrycat] Runs onto the field for the Penrith Panthers. He winks at Big Mick, and starts performing some very unusual and controversial side steps. Will they actually take his team forward or not?
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Big Imbecile Featuring Leagues worst!
Good evening ladies and gentleman, and welcome to the very first (and indefinitely the last) Rugby League themed Big Brother (Swiftly re-named to, Big Imbecile)! But we arent going to throw in the best Rugby League players in the world and pin them up against each other in the house for six months. Its far too obvious. We have chosen the worlds worst and most unpopular players, as voted in [furryland]. There is only one week, and the viewers are to vote who is the biggest imbecile to ever hit Rugby League! Here are our housemates:
1. Chris Walker
Chris was an obvious choice to be a house mate in Big Imbecile. He plays for the Roosters and went to school at Learn to be a Turnstile in 10 days. We have a suspicion it is very close to Matt Gidleys house.
2. Danny Williams
Danny felt that Mark ONeill would be more attractive if his face was covered in grass. However Danny does not remember doing this deed for Mark as he claims a magical swinging arm caused him to forget the incident. Dont we all wish this magical arm could make us forget some incidents weve experience, especially after a late night in a raunchy club.
3. John Hopoate
John is studying medicine at the Delmege Institution in Manly. He is currently obtaining his P.H.D in diagnosing and removing Worms from football players.
4. Shane Walker
Shane Walker will definitely be an actor when he retires. If you watch movies where there are scenes of many dead people, you can see Shane lying down in the background. He will require more training however; as it is noticeable he is faking his injuries.
5. Phil Gould
We felt it was appropriate to add good old Gus to the house. He is best known for looking like a shrivelled up chip munk, and for his infamous dance where we saw more flab bouncing than we paid for.
Now that we are all properly acquainted with our house mates, it is team to check in and see what they are up to.
Week 1:
The house-mates decided that it was Danny Williams duty to make the bread. However, Danny pondered on whether he should sneak up on the dough, and hit it, hoping it may instantly turn into bread. Judging by the result of the bread dough being knocked off the counter and Danny being suspended by Big Imbecile for 18 minutes from doing the chicken dance, I think Danny has learnt that this is not the correct thing to do.
Chris Walker was appointed the duty of straining the concoction being created by John Hopoate for dinner (we are unsure if he washed those fingers or not). As Chris is known as Sir Turnstiles, he did a fantastic job on straining out the little pieces in the mixture, but was unable to remove the larger pieces. This proves that the players live like they play!
Our good friend Shane though lay outside motionless for most of the week, trying to get a tan on that pale complexion of his. When the boys were playing a game of football, Shanes foot was trodden on by John, and Shane fell to the ground, clutching his face. Chris later informed Shane that his face was not touched during the incident, and Shane did not reply.
When Gus started to lose at a challenging game of Tic Tac Toe, we didnt see much of him for the rest of the week. He was last seen walking up the tunnel into the diary room. Gus was later informed that he had won the Tic Tac Toe championship, in which he replied with that he was disappointed and used several profanities.
The Winner:
It was time for the public to vote for Leagues biggest imbecile. The eyes of the public were set upon the envelope being handed to David Gallop, the host of Big Imbecile. Gallop raised his eyes from the envelope and looked at the crowd, noticing several Chris Walker is a tosser banners, parading around the arena. David wiped his brow
and opened the envelope. He approached the microphone;
And The Winner is
In all seriousness, some of these players (and even Gus) need to take a look at their image, and maybe make a few modifications. The way television is going, it is only a matter of time before we see Big Imbecile come onto television.
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749 Words between the lines