Godz Illa ~ Dragons
Footy Show production meeting
Where: Somewhere deep inside Channel 9s Willoughby headquarters
When: 5.30pm Wednesday
Who: Colin Underwood (executive producer), Neil Taddington (head writer), Francis Wittley (director), Mark Evans (intern/contributing writer)
CU: [talking loudly on iPhone]... but hun, well talk when I get home, gotta meeting now. Oh youre staying at your mothers again? She seemed fine last week. Whose voice is that in the background? Ok... see you tomorrow. Ok... Saturday. Bye babe. [hangs up]. So guys how is the outline looking?
NT: Trying to put the line-up together. Who we got Frank?
FW: Slats is out this week, eyelash implants. We need a co-host for Fatty. Any ideas?
NT: We could push Hadley up there.
CU: Ive offered it to him before, he wont do it for any amount of money.
NT: Offer him a 5 minute monologue on the NBN.
CU: Haha, no chance.
NT: 10 minutes on the mining tax? Maybe a Tinkler angle there.
CU: Nah.
NT: 15 minutes on the carbon tax. He wont resist that.
CU: Ill text him but I doubt it.
FW: We could get Rebecca Wilson.
NT, CU, FW: Hahahahahahaha!
ME: What about Andrew Voss?
CU: Who's this f**king dickhead talking to me?
NT: Sorry Col, forgot the intros. This is Mark Evans, doing a cadetship here. Big footy fan, I got him on the writing staff. Hes written a few articles or something.
CU: Right. Try not to say anything stupid for the rest of the meeting Mike.
ME: Sorry. I think a league man with a sense of humour would be ideal on the show.
FW: Good point Mark, but Benji is already on the panel. Does Benji know anyone else whod come in?
NT: Might be too many Tigers. Beau is doing his segment with Heighington, Mark Flanagan, Tuqiri and Bryce Gibbs.
ME: Gibbs plays for Cronulla.
NT: Holy shit he does too. Get rid of him. Were also visiting Farahs restaurant and Keith Galloways car wash. Plus the chick is interviewing Tim Moltzen.
ME: Now Moltzen is funny.
FW: I dont think thats too many Tigers but fair enough. Itll have to be Brohman then.
NT: Ok, Ill get Mark to start writing some fat jokes. Mark - remember there are four Rs in Big Marrrrn.
CU: Panel sorted. What else?
FW: Stuff you may have missed. Its looking bare though.
NT: Well have that beefed up to a good 8 or 9 minutes today. Plenty of material from the GWS game and some Super Rugby highlights.
CU: Nice. Next.
FW: Beaus street talk thing?
NT: Ready to go. I had Mark watch an episode of Balls of Steel so we have plenty of ideas to work with.
CU: Keep it legal guys, we dont want a plagiarism suit.
NT: As always, there will be subtle differences between our pranks and theirs.
ME: Theirs are funny.
FW: Speaking of lawsuits, that reminds me. The court-ordered Mario Fenech appearance is due this week.
CU: Jesus Christ, youre right. Ok where can we fit him in?
FW: Preferably somewhere just out of earshot of the panel. Remember his settlement requires at least 50 loud Hey Fats per appearance.
NT: Ill get Mark to whip that script up.
ME: Finished.
FW: Weve taped a perfect partners segment to come on after that. Liam Fulton and his missus are just adorable. Then we cross to Danny Weidler for an exclusive scoop on a big scandal.
CU: Brilliant! What is it?
FW: Neil can write the details in later. Probably something about the Tigers.
NT: Marks on it.
CU: Like it. Ratings gold.
FW: Sweet. So thats pretty much the show outline. The panel can fill in the rest with the usual patter.
NT: Mark can write all that later.
ME: Umm, I just noticed that there is no actual footy talk at all during the show.
CU: Yep.
ME: Well
Parra are having a few issues at the moment, I think itd be great to bring in a few Parra players maybe to discuss it.
CU: Good thinking Mitch, we do need something for that last half hour of the show. The dead period. Frank?
FW: Ive got a few Parra numbers. Joel Reddy and Tom Humble are always good for a chat .
ME: Umm.
CU: Good work everyone! Another Logie for the Footy Show. Next on the agenda: new reality show for Tuesday nights. Ideas?
FW: Tug of War. Rival exotic massage parlours compete for
.