Match Report:
The arrival of Round 3 brought with a match up between two sides showing drastically different form.
The South Sydney Rabbitohs had yet to register a win, as an early season injury toll meant their first matches had been played without a full squad of fit players.
In contrast, their visitors, the Newtown Bluebags, were as yet undefeated and were sitting second on the competition table.
Even so, this promised to be an exciting match, with Rabbitohs captain griffo346 pledging during the week to an improved performance - especially in front of a home crowd.
The referee signalled the beginning of the match, and both teams immediately settled into a pattern of hard hitting defense as they adjusted to the pace of the game.
The Bluebags scored first, with gorilla showing the sort of form that has helped to make Newtown the benchmark team in recent years with a storming run to set up the opening try.
Wow. This idea was so out of left field, but just so utterly brilliant. I dont think Ill ever look at Wayne Bennett the same way again. One tip would be to watch out for American spelling: realize. 92
Bluebags lead 92-0.
The Bluebags continued their strong start with AlwaysGreen finding a gap in the line and overrunning the opposition fullback to score.
This was a nice and fresh twist on an old and tired topic that of naming ones favourite side. In this case, of course, you were combining the players into a single player, rather than a team. Your examples were all strong, and I enjoyed some of the word play, but I thought your link to your original theme could have been stronger. 86
Bluebags lead 178-0.
A rout threatened as RHCP stormed onto an offload and fended off a defender to claim his first try at this level.
Rhyme is never easy to do, but youve put in a fine effort here. Unfortunately, the third line of every verse threw me off because it didnt rhyme with anything, so it never really felt like it belonged. Despite that, there was plenty of obvious humour and tongue-in-cheek, and that worked in your favour. 86
Bluebags lead 264-0.
The Rabbitohs finally struck back as Spanner in the works lived up to his name with an intercept, scoring a try against the run of play and finally inviting the home side back into the contest.
Ah, the ever threatening end to a players career. This highlights the need for players to prepare for life outside of the game because it could end at any given moment. I enjoyed this idea, but I think your use of paragraphs made the flow difficult to follow. Id recommend starting a new paragraph each time a different person speaks so that its easy to tell that the conversation is switching between more than one person. Also, another tip that might help is to use italicised text for thoughts, or within ellipses, to separate it from the regular narrative. (For example: Thats the season, I thought quietly vs Thats the season, I thought quietly vs Thats the season I thought quietly.) On a minor note, a title would help to form the idea, but this didnt hurt your score. 85 - 2 = 83 (751 words)
Bluebags lead 264-83.
However, the Rabbitohs comeback seemed short lived when their captain, griffo346 suffered a groin strain late in the first half.
But his replacement, Marshall_Magic, entered the fray and his fresh legs allowed him to run around the tiring Bluebags defence for a try from dummy half.
Ah, the troubled soul. Weve seen it happen with numerous players. Often, they eventually disappear into the wilderness. I enjoyed the structure of this. It reminded me of the Kübler-Ross model, which I thought was a clever take on the subject. 88
Bluebags lead 264-171.
As the first half ended, the Bluebags were ahead, but the Rabbitohs appeared to have all the momentum. Only time could tell how the half time team talks might affect that.
HALF TIME: Bluebags lead the Rabbitohs 264-171.
Newtown captain Willow sought to prevent a comeback, and he set up the opening try of the second half with an offload in traffic, setting up one of his centres to score.
I still remember that Campion article coming out. Word is that he actually kicked over the tape player and arrived onto the field with a limp! Your piece linked well between the beginning and the end, and this was a solid piece overall. (And boy
that Anderson speech still hurts
) 87
Bluebags lead 351-171.
The Rabbitohs refused to surrender, however, with Bubbles forcing her way over the line immediately after.
Ah, the lamentations of a fan whose team isnt performing on the field or off it. A spot of proof reading could possibly be of benefit. For example, there is a portion that reads beneath wave of wave of multi-coloured shots, or the singular/plural blip of ball-skills
was only lightly brushed over. The colour and emotion of the similes were a highlight. 86
Bluebags lead 351-257.
This seemed to spark something or a South Sydney revival, with Non Terminator scoring in the corner shortly thereafter...
This was a great call to arms for the European nations. The World Cup was full of so much passion, and as a Kiwi, it did of course have some very fond memories that, as you say, likely wont be forgotten. I will note that a couple of spelling errors, occurred and majorily impacted on your score slightly. 87
Bluebags lead 351-344.
...and byrne_rovelli_fan82 doing likewise on the other side of the field a few minutes later as the Rabbitohs took the lead for the first time.
This article had a lot of potential but was stunted by weak grammar which made it difficult to feel the flow. The biggest jolt came after the reference to Mario Fenech when the scenario changed from one in the 1980s to one in 2011 with no warning. Additionally, a spot of proof reading or double checking details can work wonders: Kristian Inu is actually called Krisnan Inu, and Jarred Haynes first name is spelt Jarryd. One other note: rugby league is more than 103 years old it has its 116th birthday on August 27th. These are all minor notes by themselves, but they unfortunately add up. Even so, the imagery was good and it was easy to picture the described scenarios. 79
Rabbitohs lead 423-351.
But it was a lead that they were unable to hold as Red Bear scored for the Bluebags with only a few minutes to spare.
I thought this topic was quite original while still about rugby league, its blatantly about
well
not the game itself! I enjoyed the way you described your own approach (literally) to each game. We certainly find our own routines, dont we! 86
Bluebags lead 437-423.
The home fans must have been disappointed to see their side lose again, but a much improved performance by the Rabbitohs meant they'd earned their first bonus point of the season.
The Bluebags, meanwhile, remained undefeated...for now.
FULL TIME: Bluebags defeat the Rabbitohs 437-423.
Score Sheet:
South Sydney Rabbitohs:
Spanner in the works: 85 - 2 = 83
Marshall_Magic: 88
Bubbles: 86
Non Terminator: 87
byrne_rovelli_fan82: 79
Newtown Bluebags:
gorilla: 92
AlwaysGreen: 86
RHCP: 86
Willow: 87
Red Bear: 86
POTM: gorilla
