2011 ROUND 4: Dragons -V- Ninjas

[Jesbass]

St George Dragons -V- Chuck Norris Texas Death Ninjas
​

-V-

Game Thread:
* This is a game thread only. Only game posts can be made here - team lists, substitutions, and articles.
* Any other posts may result in loss of points and is at the discretion of the referee.
* Only original articles, not used in previous games, will be marked by referees.

Naming Teams:
* 5 -V- 5 (+ 2 reserves for the visiting team, + 3 reserves for the home team)
* No 'TBA' or changing players named
* Captains must stick with original teams named


Rules: http://forumsevens.com.au/rules.php
Official Word Counter: http://forumsevens.com.au/wordcount.php

Kick Off: Sunday 24th April 2011 (2100AEST)
Full Time: Wednesday 4th May 2011 (2100AEST)
Referee: Jesbass
Venue: WIN Jubilee Stadium

 

[_Johnsy]

The Dragons faithful have travelled in numbers to see the first home game of the re-invigorated Dragons F7 squad.

1. Cheesie
2. Drew-sta
3. Muzby
4. Jason Maher
5. Johnsy (C)

Res.
1. Dragon Punk

 

[_Johnsy]

Johnsy hits the field, buoyed by a stirring performance last week.

754 words between the ******* (via official F7's word counter)


********************************************************
The pain of anticipation

Little Johnny was in a wonderful, yet annoying place. You know it, just where you doze off, exactly half way between falling asleep and being wide awake. It’s great because you have your last conscious thoughts & you’re relaxed, anticipating the wondrous sleep ahead. Personally I also find it annoying, why you ask? Well the answer is simple. This is exactly the same time that thoughts of what had I forgotten to do, what did I leave undone at work. The joys of being an adult with responsibilities I guess.

Why Johnny was trying to fall asleep at 4:30pm was a complete mystery. Johnny had been awaiting this evening for months, he had even marked the much anticipated countdown on his free local real estate calendar.

Unbeknown to Johnny the dark, ominous storm clouds were closing in fast. He didn’t realize it, but soon he would be awoken with an almighty crash, that frightening explosion of thunder.

I remember when I was 8 years old and living in Biloela, central Queensland. Eating dinner at about seven o’clock. I heard the rain but I didn’t expect the almighty crash. It was that loud, according to legend in the Johns household, that I instantly jumped a metre off my chair and landed flat on my ass on the hardwood floorboards. It hurt, hurt a lot especially with three brothers in fits of laughter.

Johnny had all of his attire that he wanted to wear that night, neatly laid out at the foot of his bed. He intended to wear his brand new white runners. He thought he’d look pretty impressive and the new shoes would just top off his ensemble perfectly. To be honest, I’d have to agree with his biased assessment. What eight year old doesn’t think his brand spanking, almost glow in the dark new runners wouldn’t set him apart from the thousands of other kids tonight.

KABOOOOM! Johnny ‘s deep twelve minute nap was interrupted by what sounded like the end of the world. He screamed “Dad!!!” Poor petrified Johnny was in tears.

Dad rushed in, “that was a loud one mate. A big storm, we might have to cancel tonight.”

“Oh no. I saved for ages and you bought me those new runners, the ones that match my shorts and jumper.”

“I know mate, but if this rains doesn’t let up we’ll get drenched.”

“What about the weather channel.“

"Alright, but if the radar’s no good we wont go. I’ll even give you the money you spent on your ticket, ok?"

Johnny begrudgingly mumbled in what could only be described as parent induced agreeance.

Johnny jumped up and ran like the wind just to see what he knew was more than likely going to be bad news. Dad switched over to the weather channel.

Johnny had his hands over his eyes. He couldn’t bear to look. The radar came up, Dad had a wry grin on his face just as he said in a low empathetic tone, “Sorry mate, doesn’t look good for tonight”.

Johnny ‘s mood dropped to a lower level of disappointment, if that’s possible. Just as he was about to yell in frustration, dad said “It looks fantastic, get ready mate. We’ll leave in 15 minutes.”

With the blink of an eye Johnny was out of the lounge room and into his bedroom. Bugger showering he thought. He grabbed his favourite undies, which were also the same colour as his new shoes, socks, shorts, jumper and hat. He was that excited he fell over three times trying to get his undies on. Two minutes later he was dressed ready to go.

“Go and give mum a kiss” dad yells before he waits at the front door.

Johnny runs up and kisses his mum. Mum says “ I’ll keep an eye out for you tonight.”

“Oh mum, there will be heaps of other people there.”

“True, but there is only one Johnny.”

Johnny laughed under muffled breath and headed to the front door where dad was waiting. He thought to himself, mums’ not too smart sometimes. He shrugged his shoulders, looked himself up and down with pride. Red and white head to toe, he had a grin as wide as Sydney heads.

He turned to mum just before walking through the front door, and yelled “Mum”.
Mum popped her head around the kitchen entry and was looking at her little man with pride, “yes darling.”

Johnny pumped the air with both fists and bellowed “Go the dragons”.

**********************************************************

 

[LeagueNut]

**sorry, wrong thread! please ignore **

 

[edabomb]

Ninjas arrive fashionably late.

paulquinn49 (c)
edabomb (c)
jamesgould
gUt
CobyDelane

Bench
joshie
Raider 69

 

[gUt]

This week the Chuck Norris Texas Death Ninjas Magazine welcomes a new columnist, Mark Liar. Mark is well known in Rugby League circles as the greatest cross-eyed forward to ever play the game in Perth in 1997. Mark tells us he has extensive media commitments including radio and television as well as something he calls the galactic superweb, where his site attracts billions of hits every minute.

Stray Talkin'
[NOTE TO THE EDITOR. IF YOU SO MUCH AS READ THIS COLUMN LET ALONE ALTER A SINGLE f**kING WORD I SWEAR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU UNRECOGNISABLE TO YOUR KIDS. YOU WON’T BE THE FIRST - ML.]

· They say a week is a long time in footy. That means that a fortnight is a very long time in footy, also that a month is a very, very long time in footy. Twelve months in footy almost feels like a year in footy, and any longer than that feels a lot longer than that.

A month ago, who would have predicted where we are now, apart from me? Readers of this magazine will specifically recall that I specifically predicted the exact specific ladder as it is now as well as all of the points differences and all that. Don’t bother to go back and check, just believe me.

· All those weeks ago, I made mention of the fact that there would be a heavy injury toll on some clubs. Since then we’ve seen the Wests Tigers and Newcastle Knights lose player after player after player after player after player after player after player after player after player to injury. So what do you think those fat cats and bozos at head office have done about it: NOTHING, of course. Until we see some action outlawing injuries, I will stick my huge neck out again and promise you there will be at least one more injury of some sort to some player at some point between now and the end of time. You can quote me on that.

· Speaking of quotes, it’s been interesting to read what the leading lights of the game have had to say this week, hasn’t it? I’ve certainly enjoyed it.

· But onto more serious matters. The Knights have announced the signing of Wayne Bennett, the master coach, just as I probably predicted. Wayne and I worked closely together at the Broncos. When I pointed out a skinny redhead named Darren Lockyer he was sceptical. When I pointed him out again he was convinced. The kid has a bright future in the game, I said. What a call that turned out to be. Darren has since made his first grade debut, and good luck to him. I know Wayne is an avid reader of my column so mate, if you’re looking for a special someone to help you at Newy, just pick up the call and phone. Phone and call. Me. Call me on the phone. [YOU CAN FIX THIS PART IF YOU WANT - ML.]

· The fans are certainly letting their feelings known about the standard of footy we’ve seen so far in 2011. Everywhere you look, they are giving their opinion about the state of the game, the players, the coaches, the trainers, the refs, the balls, the wristbands, the writing on the wristbands, and the players. Let’s hope the bigwigs and fat cats at head office stop sucking on their Cuban cigars and drinking their expensive champagne and take notice and then ask me what I think and I will correct the fans. Again.

· State of Origin is just around the corner and it’s that time when we start thinking about State of Origin. There has been an early shot fired by one of the sides – I won’t tell you who – at the other – I won’t tell you that either – about an issue that goes right to the heart of State of Origin. I can’t say much more than this but I bet we’ll see some fireworks on and off the field (mainly on the field, when the players run out or score tries and that). Stay tuned for updates. [THIS IS A MAGAZINE ARTICLE SO THEY CAN’T REALLY “STAY TUNED”. THINK OF SOMETHING BETTER. I WANT 45 ALTERNATIVE SUGGESTIONS BY LUNCH OR IT’S YOUR ARSE - ML.]

· Regular readers will know that this is where I usually give a list of fearless predictions.

Well that’s all from me. Until next week, tell ‘em Mark sent ya!
[620 SOMETHING WORDS. YOU DO THE REST - ML.]

 

[paulquinn49]

PQ for CNTDN

***********************
Dehumanise


Humans are ruining sport.


Plain & simple, if you want your favourite sport officiated properly, exactly to the rules & guidelines with the correct results, every time, robots are a must. How many times have you been watching a game of footy & thought "I bet a robot wouldn’t have given that penalty!" If you are like me, it would be at least 3 times. I won’t go as far to say I want these robots to take over & play my game, I’m just saying they would make far better referees than what is on offer at the moment. In sport & in society there is a great divide…us & them, good guy, bad guy. Referees are always going to be the enemy, so why bother putting a human face on it?

Humans are indeed floored, simply because we are programmed differently. Where as a robot is exactly what the game requires. The game of Rugby League requires someone or something to be able to stand up & make a decision, no benefit of the doubt, just a decision one way or another. A robot would have the laws & rules of the game programmed in, no interpretation, and no grey areas, just black & white. A robot wouldn’t care if the ball floated forward, if the ball floated forward because of the wind, well the robot would referee the football, not the direction the wind was blowing. It may sound harsh, but what are you going to do? You can’t argue with a silver metallic block, with no face, only a blinking light looking you in the eye. Even if you did want to argue, it wouldn’t listen, robots don’t need to listen to anyone!


I have sat back & watched many games where tries have been given that had similar ones being denied only the week before…sometimes the game before. The only fair option is for all games to be decided by one referee, not one referee per game, one referee for all games of that selected round. I imagine they would be rather tired, physically & mentally, which would lead to fluctuating decisions. Of course this scenario does not allow for stop, revive, and survive. Another point to the robot.


At the moment we are currently experiencing a system which has two different referees on the field per game. That is two different personalities, interpretations, opinions & emotions per game. Over 8 games during a regular season round at least 16 different people are officiating games. The video referee is often called in for their opinion, which through interpretation can differ from the opinion of the players, coaches & even the on field referee. Again the reason for the video ref is to clarify certain scenarios, when in reality it should be for grounding only.


This makes it very difficult for coaches & players who would have formed game plans to exploit the weaker areas of a human referee’s game. You would be naïve to think that teams do not exploit or target key areas once they know what referee, or referees are assigned to their game. Say Bulldogs have a game coming up & Bernard Sutton is one of the referees selected to officiate, if Bulldogs know as long as they keep the ruck area clear, they can afford to stand half a metre in front of Sutton all game. Is it fair? Probably not, but Sutton has already shown his hand at a preference for a clean ruck, if you help him, he might look a blind eye to something else. A robot wouldn’t cop that & because everything is black & white you couldn’t even argue it.


The same can be argued for forum 7’s, a competition run by humans, for humans & unfortunately marked by humans, not robots. One person’s interpretation of an awesome article could be the referee’s opinion of absolute tripe. Willow may like old period pieces, such as when Newtown was in the elite competition. Titanic may prefer Kate Winslet based articles. Jessbass may look favourably upon articles that don’t really go anywhere, but had the potential to be great. I guess we will find out later.


The point is that as long as humans are refereeing any contest, the results have the potential to be floored & are always open for debate & criticism. It is only human to question decisions, especially decisions that affect us in a negative way. For the sake of sanity we need to embrace our inner robot & dehumanise.


***********
737 Words

 

[edabomb]

Ninjas Substitution: joshie in for jamesgould

 

[Cheesie-the-Pirate]

Cheesie-the-Pirate makes his debut for the mighty Dragons.

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Investment

On 17 April the St George Illawarra Dragons beat the Canterbury Bulldogs at the Sydney Cricket Ground. Why? It was easy to assume it was part of the heritage round celebrations, recalling in part the grand final played 70 years earlier where St George beat Eastern Suburbs to become NSWRL premiers for the very first time. It also harked back to the grand final battles of the late seventies and early eighties between the Dragons and the Dogs. As is often the case, convenient assumptions don’t stand up to scrutiny.

In reality the chief reason for the game being played at the historical home of rugby league was the fact that WIN Jubilee Oval in Carlton was a construction site. The recently departed NSW government provided $13 million last year to complete Stage 3 of the redevelopment master plan. At completion that plan will have seen $37m spent by local, state and federal governments (with a little thrown in by the Saints Leagues) to bring the ground up to the standard for a modern football club.

As a Saints fan this is a great result. For the existing fans it means a more comfortable football game. For new fans it offers more seats and a more attractive experience. For telecasters and visiting teams there are better facilities and for the club there’s the opportunity to sell lucrative corporate hospitality packages. Finally for the government of the day there’s the hope of picking up a few more votes. It seems to have worked for local Labor member Cherie Burton who managed to buck the statewide trend and retain her seat.

Two weeks out from the first game and there were still doubts about whether the ground will be ready. Dragons boss Peter Doust assured us that it would be, and he was right. Visiting the site on a couple of weeks ago I couldn’t help but notice that there’s a lot of work to go – the basic structure has been built but there’s a tonne of fit out, glazing and cladding to go. In the end the club went with a partial reopening –ensured that the basics are done; seats, stairs, balustrades, fire exits and leaving the details for a later date.

Moving the Bulldogs game and a returning to a partially completed stand are both inconveniences for all involved. Indeed, these are costs. In part these are the costs of the St George district missing out on one sixth of their annual allotment of professional rugby league. In part this is the cost of forgone revenue for the club for every seat that wasn’t available, every hospitality package that can’t be sold and every item of merchandise still sitting in a box. The final part of the cost equation is the general nuisance for every fan, player and official not being able to go about the business and leisure of NRL football as per usual.

Meanwhile we can see this experience repeated up and down the east coast of Australia. In Melbourne games were moved to Docklands due to the not-quite-ready AAMI Park in 2010. Newcastle has had just about every season for the last few years interrupted by partially completed eastern and western grandstands. In Wollongong disruoted seasons have been caused by the need to shoehorn significant construction into limited windows. At Leichhardt and Campbelltown continued improvement works have posed challenges for the Wests Tigers club. Meanwhile each club, council and sportsground trust that undertakes stadium construction fears the ultimate risk; rain. Indeed the Dragons discovered that floods in Queensland can delay stadiums in the southern suburbs of Sydney.

Sometimes this work, these costs and these compromises seem to be too much hard work. It’s easy to lose the big picture and see all of the costs yet none of the benefits. This is especially the case when it feels like the ground has been a construction site forever as piecemeal work is performed on limited budgets. Still, club administrators soldier on and the fans keep attending, even the odd relocated game.

Many people recoil at the idea that football in 2011 is a business. Still, the homes of our sport require investments that are built upon businesslike decisions. Despite the costs and our amateur inklings we participate in these decisions every day. Clubs, fans and governments have accepted the costs and because of this we can look forward to a future that includes stadiums that befit the great sport that they host.

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745 words between the lines according to the official word counter.

 

[joshie]

Glory Road; Route 6


BEHOLD 2011. We have 16 teams vying for premiership glory on October 2nd, at the great ANZ Stadium, Sydney.

It has been a great start to the year with exciting fast paced Rugby League which has seen the NRL return to its Ommph days. The class and methodical style of some clubs has been a pleasure to watch, while the hard hitting, kick and hope, throw the ball around style has also been on display to great effect. No one wants to budge, everyone is trying and it is making this years competition a great contest.

After just 6 rounds, correct to the date this article was written Mr. Ref, I have been impressed by what I am seeing. But who will win, it is a hard question to answer, it is virtually impossible to tell. But what can history and statistics tell us? Or do I have to be like a Mayan and look to the stars to try to predict the champion. I like option one a bit better, so here goes. Lets discuss the last 4 champions, not including the Melbourne Storm's 2009 and 2007 premierships due to obvious reasons, and see if the first six rounds can give us an indication on who will win the 2011 title.


2010 Premiers: Dragons
The Dragons had a very strong start to their 2010 campaign. Over the first 6 rounds they racked up a 5-1 win loss rate, recording victories over the Eels, Bulldogs, Cowboys, Brisbane Broncos and the Gold Coast Titans. They suffered a loss to the Melbourne Storm in round 4, the only loss they accrued in the opening rounds. With this start, the Dragons finished with the minor premiership and beat the Roosters 34-8 in the Grand Final.


2008 Premiers: Manly
The Manly Sea Eagles did not start the season with the premiership flair that they would take through to the grand final, but they did not start terribly either. Their record of 3-3, showed that you don't need to be considered a dominant force to win a grand final, you can also fly under the radar. Recording victories over the Warriors, Rabbitohs and the Eels, whilst suffering defeats to the Sharks, their grand final counterparts the Storm and the Newcastle Knights, Manly finished second and went on to win the grand final in record style 40-0.


2006 Premiers: Broncos
The Broncos had a solid start to their successful 2006 NRL campaign. Their record stated that they were 4-2, recording victories over the Sharks, Eels, Rabbitohs and last years grand finalists the Sydney Roosters. Their losses came from the Cowboys and preliminary finalists, the Dragons. The third placed Broncos went on to beat the Storm on the greatest day of them all 15-8, in Shane Webckes farewell match.


2005 Premiers: Tigers
The Tigers had one of the poorest premiership-winning starts that i can recall. They managed to secure a record of just 2-4, including a round two bye, which saw the Eels score a victory over them twice in the first 6 games the club played. The other losses coming to both the Sharks and the runners up the Cowboys. Their only victories came from a streak of two, when they beat both grand finalists from 2004 in the Roosters and Bulldogs. However the fourth placed Tigers used some Benji Magic to claim one of the most remembered titles in the games recent history.


So there you have it; four champions and four very different paths. The Dragons destroyed everyone on their way to a championship, the Sea Eagles were a split decision in the first round before knocking out the rest of the competition, Brisbane gave it a fair crack but did not show their full potential until the finals and the Tigers started very slow.

So how can we pick a winner, the first six rounds this season could reveal a number of champions.

If we go by last year, the Storm, Broncos and Dragons are going to be our contenders all on 5-1 records, but 2008 tells us that the Knights and the Tigers could come from the ashes and rise up like an eagle to take the title. If the Cowboys, Manly and Bulldogs follow Brisbane's lead, they could become heroes, but if the likes of the Warriors, Roosters and Sharks watch old 2005 tapes, they can be inspired to titles.

So lets just wait and see, but I am very excited. Bring on the rest of the year!

 

[TooheysNew]

CobyDelaney for the Ninjas (749 Words)
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I am Jack

Ignoring the fact that the regular fullback had three broken ribs, Jack’s own form in reserves had him knocking at the door for first grade anyway. So it wasn’t entirely unexpected when the coach named the team on Monday night.

“And at fullback this week, young Jack Thompson. Welcome to first grade mate!”

Despite his lack of surprise, Jack’s heart still skipped a beat. His first grade debut! His first match in front of thousands of screaming fans. His first chance to show what he can do.

I am Jack’s Raw Excitement.

“Don’t read your own media!”

His manager’s advice rang out clearly in his ears, but Jack didn’t listen. This was his debut week, and he wanted to savour every moment of it, to experience every high, and to absorb every minute detail. So there he sat, perched on an unsteady stool at his breakfast bar, protein shake in one hand, newspaper in the other, reading his own media.

This was all new to Jack. Sure, he was aware of his last few performances in reserve grade… his try scoring rate, his line break count. But he had never been described as an ‘upcoming talent’ before, nor had he been branded the ‘one to watch’.

Jack’s excitement was still there, bubbling under the surface, but the nerves were creeping in.

I am Jack’s Optimistic Uncertainty.

Game day.

Jack cautiously peeked out the motel room window, and his heart sunk. Conditions weren’t exactly as he’d hoped… in fact, they couldn’t have been worse. He looked across where the city should be, however in its place he saw nothing but a hazy cloak of dark cloud, streaming sheets of rain and a plume of red tail-lights, as cars meandered through the saturated streets.

Not ideal conditions for a rookie fullback.

I am Jack’s Twisted Stomach.

Bag over one shoulder, hat pulled down over his eyes, Jack dismounted the team bus and headed towards the change room. The familiar smell of Deep Heat, muddy football boots and wet grass assaulted his nostrils, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Jack took comfort in these small familiarities, drawing strength and composure from them. He began his preparation for the game, taped his wrist, listened to his music, and tried his utmost to remain relaxed.

I am Jack’s Mixed Emotions.

A loud voice cut past Jack’s earphones. The players circled around the coach as a unit, not 17 individuals, but one team. The coach delivered his final instructions to his players.

“Stick to the basics. Conditions are horrible, so let’s play wet weather football. Keep it tight, keep it simple, focus on our possession, get a solid kick return and start to each set.” He turns his attention to Jack. “Jack, look to run it back towards their forwards, use your footwork, test their big mens’ lateral defence.”

Jack nodded and took a deep breath, the knowledge sinking in that he was a key part of his team’s success today. Sixteen other men were counting on him, not to mention the thousands of fans.

I am Jack’s Shaking Hands.

Jack floated behind the defensive line, counted off the attackers, organised his defenders, and identified threats in the oncoming play. Wave after wave of attack was fought off, and the barricades held strong. Jack was slowly warming into the game, and his nerves were beginning to dissipate.

However he still not had the ball in his hands.

I am Jack’s Growing Confidence.

The fifth tackle of the opposition’s set, their halfback set himself back from the ruck and put up a massive bomb.
Testing Jack.

Jack got himself into a good position, timed his run, and leapt high in the air to defuse the threat. His eyes never left the ball, watching it come down, as it swirled in the turbulent breeze above the stadium, and loomed above him like the thunder after a lightning bolt.

Chasers scurried around his feet, trying desperately to get to the ball, but Jack was ignorant of this. All he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears. All he could feel was the steadiness of his breathing.

I am Jack’s Surging Adrenaline.

The ball landed in Jack’s arms, and even as he fell, it stuck there stubbornly, as if by some divine force. Although the ball was greasy and slippery, and Jack was now coated in mud and grass, it felt right.

Jack felt at home.

Comfortable.

I am Jack’s Warming Relief.

 

[edabomb]

edabomb for the Ninjas
---------------------------------

Twelve Months On

The news arrived on the 22nd of April, 2010. It wasn’t exactly a bolt from the blue, recent betting plunges on the high flying Melbourne Storm to finish the season in last place had tipped off the rugby league community that a fall from grace was imminent. As David Gallop fronted a press conference he revealed the extent of the fraudulent behaviour of the Melbourne Storm. $3.17 million in illegal payments to players between 2006 and 2010 meant that two NRL Premierships (2007 and 2009) were stripped and players would be forced to leave the club. The scandal is still heavily referenced in the media today, but there seems to be little critical analysis of the consequences. Twelve months on, how are the punishments stacking up?

As the Storms indiscretions had occurred over three seasons the first step for the NRL was to decide on all punishments pertaining to that period and the remainder of 2010. Lets analyse the retrospective punishments dealt out.

On the 22nd of April it was clearly announced that the Storm would be stripped of their 2007 and 2009 Premierships, which was a no brainer given the extent of their deception. The Storm were also stripped of the 2006, 2007 and 2009 Minor Premierships (awarded to the team with the best regular season record).

Verdict: The punishments dealt out for the pre-April 22nd period were substantial and fitting. The only minor gripe could be that the Storm were not penalised all their Premiership points over these seasons and awarded retrospective ‘wooden spoons’. But given that the ‘wooden spoon’ is an unofficial term given to the season’s worst team this would hardly be a priority of the NRL.

Melbourne were penalised all the Premiership points they had earned as at the 22nd of April, and were not able to accrue any further points in season 2010. To the clubs credit they continued to compete for the rest of the year and carry themselves as professionally as ever. There were ugly scenes at some games, where rival fans couldn’t understand how their team was losing to systematic cheats. These matches never spiralled out of control though, and debate calmed down as the season progressed.

Verdict: The Storm playing the best part of an NRL season with no quantifiable reward at hand was far from desirable; it was simply the best solution available. Plenty complained, but nobody could find a better solution. If they were cut from the competition their players would pay the price for managements indiscretions, with representative duties out of reach as a result. If they were able to gain points then the rest of the fairly assembled NRL teams would have been disadvantaged.

Flash forward a year to late April 2011. The Melbourne Storm are sitting third on the ladder with just two losses from their first eight matches. The Storm shed a lot of players at the end of 2010 to fit under the salary cap, they were not allowed to renegotiate any standing contracts to ensure that players had to head elsewhere. Despite this they managed to hold on to three of the games top ten or fifteen players – Cooper Cronk, Billy Slater and Cameron Smith. Given this experienced nucleus they’re one of the top Premiership threats for 2011.

Verdict: The structures and professionalism at the Storm have allowed them to instantaneously recover from the salary cap drama of 2011. A suitable punishment would have been to slash one million dollars off their salary cap in 2011, and then five hundred thousand dollars in 2012. This would have ensured that their punishment was visible on the playing field, which is the harshest judge of all. Their punishments are consistent with those dished out to the Bulldogs in 2002, which evidently weren’t a strong deterrent to the rest of the NRL.

The major sticking point for me is the fact that the players who received illegal payments in the hundreds of thousands of dollars will now be in a financial position that they can accept pay cuts when their current contracts expire. Surely the fact the Storm have kept many of these players ensures a continuing competitive edge from their underhanded payments.

Teams like the Knights, Rabbitohs and Raiders play season after season with a fair roster, and have not tasted an NRL Grand Final in at least ten seasons. What would these teams give to be in Melbourne’s current position? Do we really want the answer to that question?

----------------------------------------------------------------
750 words including the title

 

[Drew-Sta]

Drew-Sta charges in for the mighty Saints!



Twittematta Eels

Sunday, the 1st of May

@Paul_Osbourne: C’mon boys. Get one up against the Dragons. 2:30pm

@NZ_Kearney: juz gave ma boyz a good kick up the bum for the 2nd half. Go boyz! 3:30pm

@NZ_Kearney: @Craig_Bellamy: Cuz, things aren’t so peachy here. Ya got a spare spot in Melbs? 5:00pm

@Craig_Bellamy: @NZ_Kearney: Ahhhhhh hahahahahaha… hahaha… No. 5:13pm

@Buttcrack_Hindmarsh: Just got owned by the Dragons. Tacked my shorts off. FML. 6:32pm

@Casey_McGuire: Can’t feel my shoulders. 50 tackles? WTF?! Least I’ll score a forwards try in fantasy league. 9:45pm

Monday the 2nd of May

@Paul_Osbourne: @Peter_Sterling Mate, you keen for a comeback? Need some help here. 7:32am

@Peter_Sterling: @Paul_Osbourne ... you’re kidding, right? 9:39am

@Paul_Osbourne: @Peter_Sterling Haha, err, yeah... 10:14am

@Brett_Kenny: @Paul_Osbourne: I’ll play! Coaching ain’t my thing. 2:34pm

Paul_Osbourne has blocked Brett Kenny. 2:35pm

@NZ_Kearney: @Paul_Osbourne: Cuz, we can’t win with this hack halfback. Help? 8:54pm

@Jeff_Dobson: @NZ_Kearney Hey, I can see this. 9:23pm

@Paul_Osbourne: @Ben_Hornbag @Sooperdooper_Cronk @Jonathan_Thurston @Mitchell_Pearce: Lotsa $$$, apply within. 10:23pm

@Ben_Hornbag: @Paul_Osbourne LFMAO 10:54pm

@Sooperdooper_Cronk: @Paul_Osbourne ROFLCOPTER! Nice one Pauly, you’re a funny guy. 10:57pm

@Mitchell_Pearce: @Paul_Osborne Too relaxed over here bro, chilling with @Smithy 11:23pm

@Smithy: I'm just so relaxed. So chilled. Yeah... 11:29pm

Tuesday the 3rd of May

@Jonathan_Thurston: @Paul_Osbourne Who’s this? 12:01am

@Paul_Osbourne: @Jonathan_Thurston: NVM. 12:54am

@Chris_Sandow: w00t bruz, juz wachin replay ov uz kikken sharkkie buttz! Yahhh! 3:22am

@Richie_Williams: @Paul_Osbourne: Hey bruz, I’ll play. For cheaps too! 3:50am

Paul_Osbourne has blocked Richie Williams. 7:21am

@Paul_Osbourne: @NZ_Kearney So who shall we sign? 8:44am

@Jeff_Robson: @NZ_Kearney @Paul Osbourne Hey! I told you I can see this. 9:03am

NZ_Kearney has blocked Jeff Robson. 9:12am

Paul_Osbourne has blocked Jeff Robson. 9:13am

@Stephen_Kearney: @Choc_Mundine: Bra, you keen to come play? 11:12am

@Danny_Green: @Stephen_Kearney: Choc is busy right now. Ignore the screams... 12:05pm

@Stephen_Kearney: @Paul_Osbourne: Checked with Sterlo yet? 12:34pm

Peter_Sterling has blocked Paul Osbourne 12:55pm

Peter_Sterling has blocked Stephen Kearney. 12:55pm

@NZ_Kearney: Looking for new half back. Any takers? 2:22pm

@Chris_Sandow: @Stephen_Kearney bruz, yu juz needez ta invest $$ inot juniorz 4:41pm

@Parra_Jesus: @ Paul Osbourne THOU ART THE DEVIL! ANTI-CHRIST! SPAWN OF SATAN! I DRIVE THEE OUT OF THE HOLY LAND! 6:66pm

@Beesting_Gould: Parra will take another two years to develop a good side. 7:12pm

@TAB_Munsie: @Beesting_Gould: Too true, ‘They promised the world and delivered an Atlas.’ 8:28pm

@Phil_Slothfield: 4gfvn niiwai io42kj noidaf jk3 ;oindag kjd ie ;kjds 9:53pm

@DailyTerrorgraph: @Phil_Slothfield: FFS Phil press F7, I said press F7 first then press send! 10:02pm

@Chris_Sandow: @Paul_Osbourne: cuz ill play 4 yaz 11:23pm

@Paul_Osbourne: @NZ_Kearney: Sandow, yeah? 11:24pm

@NZ_Kearney: @Paul_Osbourne, Looks good to me. 11:43pm

Wednesday the 4th of May

@Paul_Osbourne: @Chris_Sandow: How much? 12:01am

@Paul_OsbourneDanny_Weidler: I need you to start a rumour to Fox denying that we’re trying to sign Chris Sandow. 12:23am

@Danny_Weidler: Chris Sandow NOT talking to Parramatta. 12:43am

@FOXNews: BREAKING NEWS! Eels trying to steal Sandow, not looking good though. 12:44am

@Russell_Crowe: Phew… 12:56am

@Chris_Sandow: @Paul Osbourne how duz $1m sound? 2:43am

@Paul_Osbourne: @Chris Sandow You’re not serious!! $250k, 4 years. 2:44am

@Chris_Sandow: @Paul Osbourne $500k, dats it. 2:59am

@Russell_Crowe: @David Gallop Are you watching this shit? 3:32am

@David_Gallop: @Russell Crowe Err, yes... @Robert Schubert Follow this up will you? 4:01am

@Robert_Schubert: @David Gallop: Roger that. 4:02am

@Melbourne_Storm: @David Gallop: WE TOLD YOU EVERYBODY’S DOING IT! 5:05am

@Paul_Osbourne: @Chris Sandow: You’re on. Done deal. 6:02am

@Chris_Sandow has changed his name.

@Chri$_$andow: wooooooo11!!!1 I'm rich!! 6:09am

@FOXNews: BREAKING NEWS! We were wrong, Parramatta signs Chris Sandow. 7:09am

@Danny_Weidler: @FOXNews Dumbasses... 7:14am

@Russell_Crowe: @Chri$_$andow Little prick, you were all about the money. 8:43am

@Shane_Richardson: @Chri$_$andow Every man has their Alan Bond. 9:02am

@Brisbane_Broncos: @Russell Crowe @Shane Richardson: Err, does the name Greg Inglis ring any bells? 10:04am

---

Words: 678

 

[muzby]

muzby stops reading twitter, pulls on his jersey and runs on to the pitch..

750 words title to end (as per OWC)

Lucky
　
I’d never really considered myself lucky to be a WAG, it’s such a funny word anyway – WAG. One of the Wives And Girlfriends of the players.

The first time I saw my boyfriend was at a nightclub in town. He was out with his team mates, and at first I didn’t know he was a famous league player, I just thought he was a cute guy who looked pretty fit.

Life was pretty great at the start. I was spoiled, he treated me like a princess, and we moved in together after only 4 months.

Things seemed to be going along well, until one night his team had a bad loss where he was sent off. He came home grumpy, changed his clothes and said he was going out with the boys. I waited all night for him, feeling sick with worry. Then at about 4am, I heard a key fumbling around the lock. I got up and opened the door to see him standing there, bleary eyed and clearly not going to be able to open the door with his car key. I laughed at him and asked what he was doing. He looked up and glared at me.

I heard a crack as his fist collided with my nose. The next few blows to my face didn’t hurt; the pain from my nose seemed to block it out.

It was my fault. He’d had a rough game and I shouldn’t have laughed at him. And he seemed very apologetic the next morning. I know he didn’t mean it, so I stayed home sick from work for the next week until the swelling went down.

Things seemed to get better from there over the next few weeks, until he suffered another loss and stayed at the leagues club to get drunk. He came home just after midnight, that strange look in his eyes. I tried to avoid him, but that seemed to get him even angrier. He came at me, grabbed me by the hair and threw me across the lounge room. I don’t remember much after that, but when I woke up in the morning my left eye was so swollen I couldn’t open it.

I left that morning and went to my best friend’s house. She called the police, but instead of the boys in blue, two club officials had turned up at my friend’s house wanting to speak with me.

“This can’t get out”, they said to me. “It will ruin his career and look bad on the club”. They explained that they would send my boyfriend to counselling, pay for my medical bills and send me to a hotel until I was better. I decided it was best to accept their offer as I knew deep down it was probably my fault all of this happened. I shouldn’t have given him the silent treatment last night.

As they left, I heard one official say to the other “It’s lucky he’s a famous league player”. I thought to myself: lucky? Lucky for who?
　
When I came home two weeks later, he seemed to be really sorry for what happened. He bought me flowers, seemed to smile a lot more and gave me foot rubs every night. The counselling must have worked.

Then one night things got weird. He had been drinking down at the leagues club after the game, and he came back to our place with two of his teammates. He made me make some food up for the guys and keep bringing them in drinks whilst they watched Foxtel. Once they switched over from a Will Ferrell movie to the Adult movie channel, I decided I should go to bed.

I couldn’t have been in bed for more than 20 minutes when I heard the door creak open. With eyes half closed, I looked up to see the three of them standing beside the bed, in just their underwear. “Honey”, said my boyfriend, “It’s time for us all to have some fun”.

My mind took me to another place whilst the three of them had their way with me in my bed. I did what I had to in order to finish the guys quickly, not trying to think about what I was doing.

“Mate, you’re lucky. You’ve got one hot missus!” one of them said to my boyfriend as they walked out the door, laughing.

Lucky? I thought as I lay there curled up in the foetal position, crying. Lucky for who?

 

[Jesbass]

And the clock tolls 9! (Or 11, depending on your locale!)

 

[Drew-Sta]

And that's a gigantic 'f**k' you heard as we go into the game 5v4.

Not happy, Jan.

 

[muzby]

thanks timekeep!

nice reading all.. shall await the results

 

[edabomb]

Good luck one and all, some great articles

 

[Jesbass]

Hiya folks. Just a heads up that as per my usual method, I'll start looking at these articles tonight, and will probably have the result for you tomorrow (Friday) night.

Hang tight! :thumn

 

[Drew-Sta]

Sure you can get it done before then

Jks