4 Nations FINAL 2009 Papua New Guinea vs New Zealand

[Non Terminator]

Haha. Sorry Hala but the game is still on. So, maybe no more posting until both posters have posted.

Just for the record:
Eligible posters:

PNG - bdgc, Tittoolate, Titanic
NZ - LeagueNut, Dragon_Psa

 

[Titanic]

Crikey NT... I might have to send the wife into battle

By the way, I am not a Freddy fan and didn't know his story but I can report that Wagambie (always ready to take aim at the expat community) has dined out on that incident for years, much to the embarrassment of the "upstart".

 

[Jesbass]

Wowsers! The drama!

Just to clarify, is this still on the same topic of The Big Time?

 

[Non Terminator]

I will tell the story of Freddy post match mate.
And Jesbass, the topic will remain, since it is still the match. Good luck one and all.

 

[Jesbass]

Thanks for clarifying.

At the risk of cluttering the thread even more, (and apologies in advance), I'd just like to say a big thanks to the ref for his marking so far, a congrats to both sides, and a rallying cry for my team mates! :thumn

 

[LeagueNut]

LeagueNut posting for the Kiwis

===============================================

Monday 16 July 2085

The Observer





Time Travel Scandal Stuns NRL

• As many as six clubs suspected
• "Impossible to know" full extent of allegations
• Clubs threatening legal action against conspirators

NRL officials are promising a full and comprehensive enquiry into allegations of supposed "time travel" by as yet unnamed club officials from across the competition as the game tries valiantly to restore its battered image.

Following the release of the explosive allegations, several clubs have issued statements denying any involvement, although it is understood that at least two CEOs will be shown the door as early as this afternoon.





In a day of high drama it was revealed that:

• Officials at up to six clubs could have been travelling through time, potentially as far back as 200 years.
• Trips have been made for a variety of reasons, including to prevent players sustaining serious injuries, reversing recruitment decisions, and altering game results through innocuous means.
• Several critical and famous moments in rugby league history may have been 'erased' or fabricated.
• Some club officials have been engaging in "time wars" with each other, often returning to the same point in time on numerous occasions to undo each other's work.

"This is undoubtedly the most significant issue the game has faced," said NRL CEO Norris Drabne. "Trying to unravel the deception we've uncovered while also trying to comprehend the magnitude of the allegations is, well, quite mind-boggling, really."

It is not yet known how the club officials have managed to access time machines, and many local scientists are refusing to talk to the media for fear of jeopardising their own confidential arrangements.

Changing History

While these allegations have thrown into question many of the great moments from the last 177 years of the Premiership competition, much of the focus is centred on a period beginning with the “Super League War” of 1995 and the subsequent two decades.

“This is going to cause everyone, and especially those of us involved in the history of our great game, to go back and really examine our records for any irregularities or indications of untoward behaviour,” says eminent rugby league historian Hank Strongo.

Strongo says even the most innocuous events could have been a result of “time manipulation”.

“During the Super League War, ARL clubs had $15 million in funding withheld because an invoice was misplaced. The ARL always denied they were at fault, so that could be one example of a time traveller stuffing around in history.”

“Even things that wouldn’t have been given a second glance could have come about through these devious means, such as the Warriors making the semi-finals in their inaugural 1995 season, or the Bulldogs' record-breaking unbeaten run to the 2002 Premiership.”

“As Drabne said, it really is mind-boggling to think of the way things could have been…or should have been, I suppose.”

Time Wars

The NRL are understood to have engaged the services of space-time specialist Daniel Faraday, who has already begun to earmark key moments in rugby league history for further investigation.

“There will always be signs,” says Faraday. “It’s a matter of going through the records with a fine-toothed comb and looking for certain phenomena, such as unexplained decisions or unquestioned rulings of the establishment at the time.”

“For example, historical records show that the old Balmain club were pretty determined to boycott the 1909 Grand Final, but why they eventually decided to play has never been fully uncovered.”

“What we could find is that several different people may have visited the same point in time over and over again – so maybe in one reality Balmain played the match, but in others they didn’t.”

Another significant event from the game’s early days was the signing of Herbert “Dally” Messenger, but Faraday says even that could have been done under duress.

“There could be an endless array of temporal paradoxes and alternate realities which can probably never be fully restored.”

Next Steps

The NRL is determined to uncover and expose those responsible, threatening expulsion of any individuals and perhaps also the clubs involved.

“Rugby league as a sport is well known for reflecting and honouring our past heroes,” says Drabne. “Trying to comprehend that the legendary skills and deeds of Immortals such as Fulton, Beetson, Mundine, Johns and Hopoate may never have happened is quite distressing, to say the least.”

“Rest assured, we’ll do our best to uncover the truth and ask for the understanding of our fans as we investigate this issue.”

===============================================
747 words in the official counter
Credits and inspirations:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Big_Time
http://www.rl1908.com/clubcomps/1909-final.htm

 

[bgdc]

bgdc for PNG finally gets out of the shower in time to play but next time, Mr Non Terminator, how about giving me a chance to put my "g string" on the right way round? Yeeha, susu mama! (748 Official Word Counter + 2 in the graphic)
__________________________________________________________________

​

The Big Time

G’day league lovers. Yes, it’s me, Bobby Fulltime back from the dead. Well, almost dead but after some successful frypan-removal surgery and a twelve-month sabbatical to an exclusive health spa in the mountainous regions of Thailand, I’m back in time for the Four Nations Replay.

You may think I’ve been idle, you may think I’ve been out of touch but under the professional ministrations of that truly wonderfully endowed group of nubile nurses, I’ve been able to keep well abreast, if you know what I mean, of all the happenings in the big time world of rugby league.

Aaah, the big time. How I’ve missed it. No, I’m not referring to the few missed months of amnesia I suffered or to those years when almost all my friends forgot my phone number, except for Kenneth Arko … thanks mate, keep those cheques coming. In fact, I’m referring to those individuals who somehow have managed to stay in the game when really they should be doing big time in the slammer.

I can hear the editor already: “Don’t print this. The lunatic is truly out of his coconuts.” Don’t worry Rupertly Murderous, now that you’re going to sell Melbourne for a buck plus a lazy eighteen mill’, this little diatribe shouldn’t worry you at all, considering what you got away with at the end of the last century which really should have seen you serving some big time.

Big time and fat cats, is there some hidden Masonic-like connection? I received an email from my chief economic advisor “Balmain” Benny Goliath who pointed out that rugby league administration is like a life sentence; once you’re in you can never get out. Aiming at the top he suggested that the ARL requires a “Colin-oscopy” and added that those who have thrived on rugby league commissions cannot be on the Commission, case in point being John Ribot de Brittlesack.

Enough about management, can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em I always say. That does remind me of my Ex, big time … I still get the trembles when I order a pizza or check out my fav porn sites but now she is in her proper place, back on the shelf.

Speaking of being in their proper place, I was pleased to read that the most adaptable dinosaur Nicholas Politophollus Horribillis has seen the light and will have my second favourite team, the Chooks from the East, renamed the Bondi Chooks. Thanks Nick big time, I’ve found a vinyl copy of Surfin’ Bird* which I am reliably told is the leading suggestion for a revamped club song and am practicing vigorously; “Everybody’s heard about the bird. The bird, bird, bird, the bird’s the word…”

Nothing can be written these days without a mention of the new media megastar Greg “the Bird” Peckahedd. He shouldn’t be erroneously associated with the family of judicial Peckerheads (spelt differently) who coincidently presided over his recent successful appeal. Every magazine from Townsville to Timbuktu has him on the front cover. Conjecture over this playing career ranges from him riding into a North Queensland sunset with his best girl by his side or being carried home in a Titanium box. Rugby League commentator and ex school-teacher Roy Masterdon, another from that very old school, postulates that “people in stone houses shouldn’t throw glasses.”

How did this guy escape some big time? Nathaniel Kilometers, who has had to change his name since finding himself well and truly in the pooh, is another who can consider himself lucky. Young Nate wrote to me asking for counselling after he became upset that his team mates were calling him “Dumpster.” At first he was okay with it, believing that they were teasing him about his blockish build but eventually the penny dropped and then it really hit the fan.

Perhaps the most fortunate is the irrepressible Todd “Bottles” Carnivore. Caught, convicted, tried and sentenced for being incapable of being able to handle a quiet tipple or three. This raucous talent copped the punishment of all punishments: doing some big time in a, wait for it, hotel bottle shop. His punishment had all the 'smackings' of something from my childhood dinner table: “Eat those Brussels sprouts Bobby! Eat them, eat them, EAT them! Right, open up ya gob and get ‘em down!”

Well, it’s great to be back and as our very own David the Galloot said: “a clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory.” Toodle-oo.
______________________________________________________________

* Surfin’ Bird – The Trashmen (1963)

 

[Non Terminator]

Again - that's it.

Finally, we will know our winner.
It is not far away, good luck to our two posters.

 

[Jesbass]

Well done to both competitors - great pieces, both of you. :thumn

Carn, Kiwis!

 

[rayroxon]

It's a tough job having to step up to the plate and to hit a home run. Well done!

In other news - bgdc, did you make a mention of breast milk in your pre match preamble?

 

[gorilla]

WTF
OMG
(*)


Noice one, Tits .

 

[Non Terminator]

BGDC (PNG - 748 words)
Even though before I started to compete in this competition I have previously read some of the articles related to this piece. It is a very interesting style of writing, really full of character. I liked the use of your topic, with extremely different meanings. I love your style of writing, it was a good read. Chuckled quite a bit, despite it being against my beloved Bondi...er...Sydney Roosters. Nice inclusion of one of the greatest songs ever too!
Final Score - 90

LEAGUENUT (NZL - 754 words)
Sorry, but I did find a word penalty infringement. It could have been in the spaces, I'm not sure. Anyways, major points for originality as I have never seen a Forum Sevens piece written as a newspaper article. The twist on the topic has "sort of" been used in this final so far, really putting the emphasis on a different time period itself, however you have put your own unique twist on it. If only this could mean we could've stopped Sonny-Bill at the airport. The one thing I found weird was your choice of year for publish. If it was set so far away, it could've been interesting to see what might have happened between now and then.
Final Score - 91
Two points deducted for Word Count
Final Score - 89

First of all, congratulations to the two new participants in this final. You both have made extremely interesting articles that were a real pleasure to read. It was all decided by one point in the end, completely unbelievable. First of all, congratulations to the Kiwis. You put the good fight in and really dug deep in the end, it is extremely sad to see that the Word Count has gone against you in the end. We hope to see this competition repeat itself in 2010 so we can see your talented team up once again.

To Papua New Guinea, well done. It's been a big ride since you started the competition, playing well and going through the competition undefeated. You have played New Zealand twice, and in seven articles I am pretty sure there is just a few points difference between the two sides all up.

That does lead us to the awards. It is my pleasure to announce that the player of the match in the final is...Tits&Tans!

The player of the Four Nations...well...it's a tie! Tits&Tans and Titanic, well done!

The winner of the Four Nations for 2009, Papua New Guinea! Defeating New Zealand 357-356!

 

[tits&tans]

NT - thanks for the super fast marking and for minimizing the nailbiting and stomach churning. Cheers for the POTM - much humbled.

Kiwis - fantastic effort throughout this comp, we've had some crackers of matches against you. A really high standard throughout from all. Commiserations. Already looking forward to squaring up to you lot again next year. Take it easy.

Kumuls - bloody excellent work guys. Superb efforts from the team, well done. Congrats!

Everyone - now for a well-deserved break for all after an exciting and loooong season.

See you all on the flipside!

 

[Titanic]

Well Kumuls that's it ... 2008 WC Champs, 2009 4N Champs ... a great effort ... bgdc the supersub ... susu mama lmao ... tits&tans if you were better looking I'd kaikai maus ... Steve thanks again bikpela hamamas

Kiwis ... I really don't know what to say, losing on a technicality sux ... great effort

NT ... great effort on a slippery playing field

 

[bgdc]

Yah yeehaa and all that to everybody who played, watched, marked and enjoyed. Titanic, you are Titanic (no going down jokes either, any of you lot), t&t's you are sunburnt, Willow - with a little bit of coaxing I may just let you rub some oil into my back.

In other news - bgdc, did you make a mention of breast milk in your pre match preamble?

Dear Mr. On

In reply to your evocative remark the Susu Mamas are a well respected group of social working mothers in PNG who provide support services for nursing mothers.

WTF
OMG
(*)
Noice one, Tits .

Dear Mr. Gorilla

I am sure that at presumably a much earlier stage of your life breast milk played a significant role in your rating of enjoyment of any given day. I am very pleased to see that it still does

Dear Mr. N. Terminator

Thank you for so abruptly terminating the season

 

[Jesbass]

Kumuls, you've been the benchmark ever since the 2008 F7s World Cup. Willow is certainly onto something with three consecutive tournaments in his personal trophy cabinet - a charmed talent, to be sure! Thanks for a fantastic contest, (golden point, for crying out loud! ), and congratulations on the title. I look forward to donning the black and white and charging out into battle against you in 2010! ;-)

Ref, thanks for marking so quickly that we thought we were being put out of our misery, then making it a draw so that we had to agonise for another 24 hours! :lol: Thanks for the immense amount of feedback, too - greatly appreciated! I truly believe that F7s is better for having you in our playing, captaining, and refereeing ranks! :thumn

Kiwis, hold your heads up high - we took it to the opposition and almost came away with the spoils. LN, you're a fantastic captain, and I can only admire the hard yards you went through to get a second article of 90-something quality inside 24 hours. I know that you'd bleed for the black and white, as would I. I look forward to playing alongside you for many a match more. (And we'll get them next time! )

 

[Hallatia]

I love you Jesbass
I am sure the whole Kiwi team would echo your setiments, particularly with regards to LN, he's a LEGEND

 

[Jesbass]

I love you Jesbass
I am sure the whole Kiwi team would echo your setiments, particularly with regards to LN, he's a LEGEND

Says the Steve Price of Kiwis F7s! ;-)

 

[Willow]

Willow - with a little bit of coaxing I may just let you rub some oil into my back.

Believe me, I'm very tempted bgdc, but I'd never hear the end of it from gorilla.

Congrats on the bench winner and well done team.

Commisserations to the Kiwis and especially to LeagueNut who went above and beyond the call of duty.

Thank ref Non-Terminator for a speedy turnaround.

Hasta la vista baby!

 

[rayroxon]

Well said JB. Congrats on a great tournament and title Kumuls. You sure did milk it for all it's worth...ahem...

thanks as always for the excellent feedback and marking NT. A shame you couldn't manufacture a couple of extra points for us but there's always next year eh

finally thanks to the mighty kiwis. It's been a great camp and a great way to end the season. LN you're a champ, can't wait to do this all again with y'all soon.