INTERNATIONAL :: ANZAC Clash :: Australia vs New Zealand

[Drew-Sta]

Forum 7s - ANZAC Clash - 2013

AUSTRALIA KANGAROOS -V- NEW ZEALAND KIWIS

-V-

Match preview: The fierce rivals come up against each other once more; Australia head over the ditch to play the Kiwis. These two teams have faced each other on many occasions but none more is bigger than this. Lest we forget.

For the Australians: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcMuf8wE52k
For the Kiwis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dPcj_aC8fk&feature=fvst
For the referee: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNUCYy0cBHg

GAME ON!


Game Thread:
* This is a game thread only. Only game posts can be made here - team lists, substitutions, and articles.
* Any other posts may result in loss of points and is at the discretion of the referee.
* Only original articles, not used in previous games, will be marked by referees.

Naming Teams:
* 3 -V- 3
* No 'TBA' or changing players named
* Captains must stick with original teams named

Rules: http://f7s.leagueunlimited.com/rules.php
Official Word Counter: http://f7s.leagueunlimited.com/wordcount.php

Kick Off: Sunday 14th April 2013
Full Time: Sunday 28th April 2013 (Midnight)
Referee: TBA
Venue: Sydney Football Stadium

 

[Monk]

NZ are ready to get the party started.

Monk (c)
Drew-Sta
Eelementary

 

[Scott Gourley's Lovechild]

Australia turn up at the SFS after a classic pub crawl up Forveax St.

AUS
SGL (c)
Titanic
Horrie is God

 

[Eelementary]

After the haka, the Aussies kick-off, and Eelementary charges onto the ball for his first hit-up for the Kiwis.

Represent, fool!



A lot of recent debate has centered around whether or not to permit Kiwi rugby league players to participate in State Of Origin matches, and whether, if allowed, it would be a smart decision. One of the key reasons to oppose the idea is all about pride in the jumper, because, in theory at least, a player born and raised in New Zealand for the first ten or so years of his life who moves to Australia and decides to represent Australia in Test match rugby league will not show as much passion as a player born and raised in Australia from scratch. But is this such an issue?

As fans, we want to watch the best of the best duke it out for the ultimate honour in rugby league, and if that means that some “un-Australian” players don what historically were Australian guernseys (be they at Test match or Origin level), what is the problem? Certainly, the rules in the past have been relaxed so that certain blokes could get away with some interesting decisions - one name that immediately springs to mind is Tonie Carroll. Born in New Zealand, he moved to Australia at an age young enough to attend Queensland school Beenleigh High. As a result of attending said school, he was elected to play for the Australian Schoolboys, and went on to eventually represent Queensland in State Of Origin, and subsequently both Australia and New Zealand in Test match rugby league. It could be said he deserved to represent Queensland and Australia, due to moving to Queensland at a young age - but it could just as easily be said that he deserved to represent New Zealand, as he was born there and lived some time there. Yet he represented all three. And I would argue it was hardly a disaster - Tonie Carroll played with just as much passion and heart for New Zealand as he did for Queensland and Australia. Fans of all three sides were happy to see his name read out when the teams were announced, because he was such a handy player. In representing all three sides, he raised the bar for New Zealand, Australia and Queensland.

Conversely, he made a mockery of the rules - he first represented New Zealand in the 2000 World Cup, and switched allegiances to Australia later on. But in so doing, he set a precedent - a precedent which the powers that be have worked hard to ignore and/or alter, because they seemingly feel that players should stick to one representative side.

But we deserve to see the best players play in the best arena to give us the best contest so we can proudly boast we support the best sport around. If Sonny Bill Williams, Benji Marshall, Fuifui Moimoi and Gareth Ellis tomorrow turned around and raised their hands to volunteer to represent New South Wales or Queensland, the contest would hardly be a farce - the spectacle would be greatly enhanced by adding some of the game’s elite players to the contest.

Or perhaps another way to look at it is to reinvent the wheel; rather than allowing non-NSW/non-Qld players to play Origin, it might be prudent to add another side or two into the equation. Perhaps an NRL All Stars (but not elected via the same system as the annual pre-season clash), or an NRL Dream Team, or even a Barbarians-type of squad, whereby players left out of representing the “cream” get selected to square off against the top teams? Imagine the Blues or Cane Toads clashing against a side that contains the likes of all the superstars not currently eligible to play Origin football - and imagine that side could boast players from multiple nationalities. You could conceivably see Sonny Bill Williams, Gareth Ellis and Fuifui Moimoi all in the same team, taking on NSW or Queensland.

Representative football is rooted in history and tradition, and the rugby league community is very fond of its heritage, and rightly so. Maybe, though, the way forward in the game is not to reinvent or restructure rules, or to add or subtract officials, but to broaden our representative horizons. There are dozens upon dozens of players too good to miss out on testing their abilities against the best of the best, but who are currently doing just that. Maybe - just maybe - giving people this chance is what will bring the game into the twenty first century for good.

745 words including title.

 

[Drew-Sta]

Hi all

FT is being pushed back until 9pm Wednesday to accommodate some players changed circumstances.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Drew

 

[Titanic]

[FONT=&quot]

[/FONT]Titanic for Australia (750 OWC)


Dumb dumb duh dumb

Rugby league shenanigans are legendary and stories of our larrikins are a part of what makes our game so great. Not all of it is about the players and much is not suitable for print.

Wally’s a what? Benny takes it where? Get off him he’s not your who, or should it be whom? Rugby league history is dotted with anecdotes; some humorous, some clever and others just damn spiteful. The colorful characters that make our game the entertainment machine that it is are many and varied.

It is told that the late, great John “Dallas” Donnelly wanted to enroll in university and was worried that he would fail his entry test, so he asked his coach, former school teacher Roy Masters, for help.

“No worries mate,” Masters, eager to assist, responded, “what’s wrong?”
“I have to read a play by Shakespeare,” Dallas said.
“Which one?” asked the coach.
Donnelly scratched his head and answered, “William.”

Coaches have a tough job. Many of their charges have had little opportunity for higher education as they focused on their sporting prowess instead their study of, say, mathematics. One current Roosters’ player, notorious for sleeping in, had a flat tyre on his way to a team meeting at the new coach’s house. Frightened that his coach wouldn’t believe him he rang ahead to explain. He became frantic when his coach’s wife informed him that her husband wasn’t home.

“Just calm down, and I’ll have him call you as soon as he gets in,” she told him. “What’s your number?”
A flustered JWH replied, “Eight.”

It’s not just the seniors who get rubbished. My neighbor, Bluey, a former high-school halfback, came home from perilous combat duty in Afghanistan. He was excited to tell me that his unit had played a makeshift game of rugby league against the Afghans. “Just don’t tell my mum,” he begged. “If she knew I was playing footy she’d freak that I might do my knee again.”

At a recent Titans game, Ashley Harrison got smashed. He tumbled to the ground and didn’t move. Trevor “the Axe” Gillmeister was closest to the hit and picked up the unconscious Harrison’s hand and urged, “Ash, can you hear me? Squeeze once for yes and twice for no.”

Mark “Spud” Carroll was driving home dejected from Newcastle, after another clash with Paul “Chief” Harrogan and a game that the Eagles had lost. He was ignoring the speed limit and sure enough, a Novocastrian patrolman flagged him down. “You’ve got me, Officer,” Spud confessed and handed over his license. “I was speeding.”

The officer confirmed that he had been clocked at 112 kms. As the copper checked out his license he said, “The Chief gave you a pummeling today.”
“Yes, sir,” was the reply. The officer then paused for what seemed like an eternity.
“Well,” he said finally, “I guess you’ve suffered enough” and handed back his license.
Before driving off Carroll enquired, “Officer, what if we had won?”
“I’d have booked you in a heartbeat,” came the reply. “Now keep it under 100!”

As a Catholic, David Wright made a pretty good footballer. He played for renowned Catholic club Brisbane Brothers. At one stage he was selected for Queensland and was unable to play for his club which was on the edge of the top four. When asked which he’d prefer he replied:
“Gee, I don’t know. “I’m torn between Church and State.”

There is nothing worse than finding that your team is going to embarrass you before the season is even half way through. Season tickets have no value or less than no value. In 2011, the Titans had such a miserable record that I couldn’t give away two tickets to a game I wasn’t able to attend. While parking at Pacific Fair, I stuck the tickets under my windshield wiper and when I got back from shopping I found six more tickets to the same game.

However, when it comes to dedication it’s hard to go past the parochial Queenslander. One Wednesday afternoon when Origin fever was running high in Babinda, far North Queensland, a local fan was brought into the hospital where my wife was on duty as a nurse. He had acute appendicitis, and as she prepared him for surgery she asked if he was terribly disappointed to miss the big game.
“Oh, I won’t miss it,” he said. “Doc is giving me a spinal anesthetic so I can listen to it during the operation!”

 

[Drew-Sta]

Monk has advised me that NT agreed to have this extended out to Weds night. Sorry for my misinformation before.

 

[Horrie Is God]

Horrie Is God trots out for his debut..714 words including title (OWC)..

How do I like my tough?

Was it George Smilovici, or was it Vince Sorrenti; you know, the comedian in the '80's who told us "I'm Tuff". Right, definitely George.

I love ‘tough’ but with the smorgasbord of varieties in the game, I’m struggling to choose my favourite form of fortitude, being as it comes in all shapes and sizes.

Exhibit A belongs to Mick De Vere's effort in the 2003 Origin Series. Sporting a head wound that looked like he'd severed an artery, he called for the doc. As a winger he didn't want to waste an unnecessary interchange so he told Doc Orchard to staple it on the field, ensuring NSW were attacking at the time. So the doc starts to tend to the injury and the staple gun breaks, leaving it swinging from poor Mick's melon like a dunny door in a cyclone... all this playing out live on air over three million Australians’ television sets. Wingers are supposed to be guys who hang around footy players, but De Vere may be an exception to the rule.

Exhibit B is a completely different kettle of fish. Chris Flannery and Peter Wallace both made what many men would consider the ultimate sacrifice in order to not leave their mates while in battle, the loss of one of their ‘crown jewels’. Flannery surrendered his in the first five minutes of the '04 Preliminary Final and not only did he finish the game, but he backed up the next week in the Grand Final. Wallace suffered his on an even bigger stage, State of Origin, yet refused to leave the team short. Hard as nails men, whose actions in refusing to give in to the pain bring a tear to the eye.

Exhibit C is Shane Webcke and his performance in the '00 Grand Final. Earlier in the series he'd shattered his arm. The x-rays showed a clean break, but something as trivial as a fractured limb wasn't going to stop the great man from achieving what he and his mates had shed blood, sweat and tears for. On he ploughed through the teeth of the opposition packs, helping his beloved Broncs to the Grand Final. Now, on the big day it was common knowledge that Shane was busted and the massive Roosters pack targeted him, but Webcke refused to relent and motored through the discomfort and came out the other end with a golden ring as his prize. An act of stunning resilience personified.

Exhibit D is Chris Mortimer's effort to play for Penrith in the '89 Semi Final series. Earlier in the year Chris had smashed his thumb to smithereens. He had a pin inserted to hold all the bones together and had to miss a large chunk of the year recuperating. He came back late in the season, but the pin started protruding, so off to the surgeon’s he went. Told by the doc that that he could repair it, but that he wouldn't be able to play the Semi Final, Morts wasn't going to cop that and decided that he'd get a second opinion. That opinion was his own and he decided that the pin was coming out and that he was going to play. So he walked in to the groundkeeper's office, borrowed a pair of pliers and proceeded to remove the pin himself. He cleaned up the wound, put a bandage on it and ran out on to the training paddock. He played in the semi, an amazing act of bravery.

It is Exhibit E that gets my vote. Paul Bowman was an old school, hard tackling centre for the Cowboys, who was about to have a very unusual day. It was 2001 and the opposition were the Wests Tigers. Paul took a routine blind side hit up and thought he was going to cop a routine tackle. How wrong he was. The tackler was Mr John Hopoate and the rest is history. Paul finished the game, but unfortunately rumours surfaced that he had to have surgery to remove Hoppa's watch.

The thing that makes our game ‘The Greatest Game of All’ is the varied opinions we have on every little issue, so I throw the question over to you, the reader.

How do you like your tough?

 

[Drew-Sta]

Drew-Sta don's the Kiwi jersey, performs the Happy Haka and then takes his hit up.

The ultra-professional footballer

The sixteen coaches of the NRL sides had gathered near a building that resembled a factory. Looking at each other nervously and gathered for an unknown reason they entered through the front doors to what looked like a small reception area. A blonde receptionist smiled before ushering them into an adjoining meeting room.

After a few moments of waiting a short, well dressed man with a short moustache walked into the room.

"Please, gentlemen, zit down." The tall man had a thick German accept, but the smile he gave seemed genuine.

"Err, what's this all about?" asked Trent Robinson.

"I have called you here for a reason."

"And that is..?" Geoff Toovey asked.

"You may haff noticed zat over ze last few years rugby league has become far more professional than its past."

"We have, what's it to you?" Steve Price responded.

"Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to ze future of rugby league ultra-professional!” He motioned to the wall on his left with some theatrics as before their eyes it opened like the curtain being drawn back on a stage. Beyond the wall lay an indoor factory with hundreds of what looked to be football players.

"Wh-what is it?" Matt Elliot asked.

"Zat, gentlemen, is the path of ze future. Follow me."

Without delay, the German led the sixteen coaches into the factory.

"We take ze youngest, fittezt and most genetically impressive spezimens from your junior ranks and ve turn them into ultra-professionals; an ultimate footballing race az it were.”

As he spoke, they walked at a leisurely pace through the factory. Rows and rows of young, fit, homogenous men were lined up performing drills. These drills, the coaches saw, were aimed at physical conditioning; both forwards and backs were bashing into walls in an attempt to push their way through.

“Ve aim for performance; each player is to play a specific vay and zey vill do so on the field. Look at this backline movement – ”

He motioned to another field where a second man play was being run. Over and over and over the same play and the same angles were run as half backs and five eights were literally whipped into performing them.

“ – iz zat not poetry in motion? Precision, performance and consistency are the guaranteed results from successful drills. Ze drills create ultra-professional playerz, and ze ultra professional playerz create an ultra-professional game. Soon, all the NRL clubs you work for vill have these same types of players playing for you and ve can guarantee you every player will be supplied to you with the full skill set you see here.”

The German man beamed with efficient joy.

“Ve turn every forward into a battering ram; zose vith some playmaking skills ve discard. Fat is not tolerated. Ve also select only ze fastest vingers, irrespective of zere instincts. Ve took Jonah Lomu and Vendell Sailor as ze mould we aspire them to be. And our halves? Vell…” the look of pride was unable to be hidden - “… ve spliced ze genetics of Kurt Gidley and Ben Hornby to bring you ze ultimate on field general. A masterpiece, if ve may say so. Ze media, ze TV and ze crowds vill love the new era under our ultra-professional regime of training. Ve guarantee it!”

The coaches looked on, somewhat amazed.

“So… every player will be the same,” Craig Bellamy asked.

“Yes, zey all come completely trained. Zey are even toilet trained after our failed prototype.”

“Prototype?” Neil Henry whispered Ricky Stuart.

“Nate Myles,” Sticky replied, a slightly annoyed look on his face.

“Vot do you zink, gentlemen?”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“Well…” Wayne Bennett began. “Doesn’t that mean every game of rugby league will look the same?”

“Yez,” The German replied.

“And doesn’t that mean every team will have the same types of players?” Steve Price asked.

“Yez,” he again responded, a smile coming across his face.

“Won’t that make each game kind of boring?” Anthony Griffin asked.

“Well… zis is vat you have asked for, isn’t it?” The coaches looked a bit confused. The German went on to explain. “For years you have emphasized the athlete over ze footballer, yes?”

The coaches nodded.

“And ve, ze German people, are excellent at creating homogenous, performance based machines?”

The coaches nodded.

“Vell, this is vat you get ven you emphasize athleticism over footballing. Isn’t it vat you vanted?”

Words: 736

 

[Monk]

Monk takes of his sweat soaked GB&I jersey and throws on something a little more Southern-Hemispherey. Who would have thought he'd ever be dressed in All Black?

700 Words according to our mate the OWC.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

The Shoulder Charge Chronicles

Welcome everyone to a reading of my world famous book “The Shoulder Charge Chronicles”. Today I will be selecting a few of my favourite Chapters of this bestselling novel to read to you all. Book signings will then commence after a short lunch break. Please hold all questions till the end of the reading. Thank you.

Chapter 1 -

“f**king useless turf, I’ve shit out more playable grass then this rubbish they call a field.”

Sure it was raining kind of heavy; the hills on the eastern and western sides of the field were practically dead save for a few fans whose bodies were covered in around 70% mud and 30% beer, but hey, that’s what footy is about, isn’t it?

It was tough to hold onto the leathery ball in these kinds of conditions, but we didn’t really have much choice. Most of our sets consisted of kicking on the second and hoping one of them dropped the ball to give us some decent field position.

As I watched one of the big blokes covered in mud run the pigskin, one of our blokes attempted to shoulder him to the ground, although because he’s a f**king moron, he slipped over and fell face first into the mud.

“Ah sorry mates, I’ve got first round at the pub tonight!”

And that’s what footy life should be like.

Chapter 12 -

“That sneaky little shit!”

I noticed his feet shifting and I knew he’d be floating behind the play soon enough. This fullback has pulled our pants down and hoisted our undies in a wedgie-like fashion to unmeasurable extremes and frankly, I was getting sick to death of him and his stupid smirk. This is 2009, and I’m not going to let this sucker ruin my year!

The play progressed and I tried to keep my cool. As far as I could tell their fullback had no idea I had eyes on him; ha, what an idiot! He was going to be cat food by the time I hit him!

As the fullback accepted the ball into his puny little bread basket of a grip I threw my shoulder into his sorry excuse for a chest. As he flew backwards I saw the ball pop out and noticed that my shoulder did too, but who gives a damn? Listen to that crowd roar!

I moved my shoulder a bit and felt it move back into place... kind of. Either way my team mates all came in to shake my hand and pat me on the back; it felt pretty sweet. The hot blonde in the third row even threw me a wink; this is what footy life should be like!

Chapter 23 –

“Ha! Horse Steroids, are you f**king kidding me?”

This shit has well and truly hit the fan. It was crazy to think that any of the blokes running at me could have been hitting that dirty juice. Ugh, who would even be game to try it? Why is this rubbish on my mind during a footy game? I need to get back in the zone, time for a big hit!

As I spoke, the opposing team’s half threw an inside ball to some bench guy who seemed to be running at speed. Ha! It’ll take more than that to gain ground on me! Then time sort of slowed down and I realised I had mistimed my tackle; crap! This can’t go down on my stats sheet as a missed tackle! Well, here goes nothing!

The deafening sound of the ref’s whistle sent a shock through my body. I spat out a profanity I knew the commentators wouldn’t be happy with if the camera was zoomed in on my face. Ah, the dangers of airing live football. I heard the referee call me over and I heard him speak to my captain.

“Mate, it’s a pretty obvious Shoulder Charge – I don’t want to hear anything else, control your men or I’ll do it for you.”

The captain shot me a look which made my body feel colder than an ice bath. Why do I have so much on my mind? I thought footy life would be a breeze.

 

[Monk]

The fulltime hooter sounds.

 

[Non Terminator]

AUSTRALIA

Titanic - 87
Not sure if anicdotes are real, frankly I don't care. Awesome.

Horrie Is God - 86
Did you see Paul Wood? Played the Grand Final last year with a ruptured testicle, lost
the game and the game ball.

NEW ZEALAND

Eelementary - 87
An interesting article, got your points out well. Well written.

Drew-Sta - 85
You have your way of getting a point across...always the Germans!

Monk - 86
Another interesting way of getting the point across I guess. Interesting team you've got here!

AUS 175
NZL 258
POTM Titanic/Eelementary

 

[Monk]

Cheers for the marks NT. Great job everyone. Let the regular season begin!

 

[Drew-Sta]

Thanks NT

 

[Horrie Is God]

Yep cheers mate..We got pumped though..Our cap'n went M.I.A..

 

[Titanic]

Just when I thought we could beat you bro's with hand tied behind our backs ... we couldn't ... well done.

Also I want to protest that sneaky little shit Monk using the term sneaky little shit.

Thanks for the quick marking NT, you little ... devil