Melon's Matchups Sh.ite of Origin I Roachies -V- Toads
Its that time of year again when some salivate at the thought of 34 meatheads beating up on each other, whilst the other half, switch off or watch a replay of the 1984 series for some flying elbows and teeth. Regardless of which half of the couch you park your fat, lumpy arse on, one thing is enivitable: Sh.ite of Origin is here again. And with so many Chooks a part of it, it warrants a Melon's matchups...here we go...
1. Anthony Minichiello V Darren Lockyer - Just rewards for the high flying "Moth", for a great season thus far...here ya go...have "Lancelot Link's" blue cardigan. Is as nervous as a live mullet at a Game Fishing tournament, but I'm looking forward to some comic relief and hope he makes it through OK to take on the Cowgirls this weekend. In contrast his opponent "Goodyear" is one of the game's best. The balding retread is the nucleus of the Shetlands side and naturally that makes him a key in the QLD lineup. A lot will depend on the room his forwards provide him, but then again there's always the option of running at the Lord of Oh Gawd, "Sir Turnstiles".
2. Timana Tahu V Shannon Hegarty - "Dropsies" cruises his way in to the Roachie lineup on the back of captain "Pack Horse". DOnt know what the bigger danger is - his inability to catch the ball, or the possible compounding problem of the inability to catch "Sir Turnstile's" impossible to catch passes. I predict the 5th row at Lang Park will catch more than "Dropsies". Was to be facing his Naughts team mate, the political prisoner from Cuba, "Antonio Montana". The mustard suited one, pulled out at the first minute with an injured nasal cavity and is replaced by the hot-to-trot Cuban Cueball, "Latino Heat". Has come through the preliminary rounds and this is what all those lessons at Maroubra Seals were about. Wear the sequins with pride. Arrrrriba!!!
3. Matt Gidley V Brent Tate - After missing out on selection for Slickers V Bumpkins, "Sir Turnstiles" returns with a backflip off "PAck Horse's" that Annie Oakley would be proud of. Tears all wiped away, he's been impressing the Roachie coaching staff with extrordinarily long passes....into row 12!!! The Human Boomgate is facing yet another Shetland in "Hooter" who has shown time and time he has a nose for these big games. Actually he has a nose bigger than these games. Look for the loose flickpasses from "Sir Turnstiles" to be sniffed up by the speedy nostril. Sure to compare nose stories with "Antonio Montana".
4. Jamie Lyon V Justin Hodges - An unhappy season thus far for "Simba" with the only good news is his selection in the Roachie side. Playing in a beaten team, with a beaten forward pack and a no chop backline, somehow thinks this could be his only chance to see the winner's circle. His opponent is the in form centre of the NRL, the undisputed linguistic heavyweight, "The Mouth". He has a second bight of the cherry after almost single handedly almost handing the series to the Roachies last year, he'll want his cake and with a gob like his, he'll definitely devour it. Should be a powerhouse matchup between these two young blokes.
5. Matt Sing V Michael De Vere - A well deserved return to the rep scene for former Chook and curent Cowgirl, "Soprano". Co-leads the try scoring in the NRL, and seems to be faster than ever. Faces one of the few Roachies who plays club footy in toad territory, "To the left" has improved defensively and is one of 3 goalkickers in his squad, as opposed to the toads who have 1 part timer in "Goodyear". Not the speedbump he once was, but there are enough of them in the Roachie backline to not make a difference.
6. Shaun Timmins V Brett Ikin - Where's "The Messiah" when you need him? Surely the suprise selection in the blues lineup, with 80 minutes of footy in this position under his belt, "Spectator" returns for a very rare appearance. He beats golden Bullkebab Boy, "Chequebook", to the punch, something that says Roachie Assitant coach and Integral Scum official "Snoz" had everything to do with. Would be normally in a bucket load of trouble, but thankfully for his team faces another spectator in Coach Smiley's fave, "Fiance". Will test the PAck Horse's ability to play both half positions.
7. Andrew Johns V Shaun Berrigan - "Pack Horse" finally settles the feud with coach "Potato Head" and says he's ready to play Origin again. Full credit to the mouthguard chucker in solidly campaigning for his Naughts no hopers resulting in Coach "Potato Head" basically giving up after copping the shelacking of the decade from Murdoch Press. I dont see "Gerry Can" troubling the blue, with his biggest challenge being how many of his team he can carry, something he's used to by now.
8. Robbie Kearns V Shane Webke - Another Blue back from the dead is Static Electricity's "Williams". Has been picked for his forward leadership qualities, he'll be up against it when he faces a bookend who by his own admission needs to lift his game. "Duke Nukem" hasnt been too happy with his performance but looking at the Roachie front row, I'd say its his best chance to play into some form.
9. Danny Buderus V PJ Marsh - I cant understand how a player that has been outplayed by someone in his position gets a jump on the same said player that has outplayed him??? The Naught's "Butterarse" has done just that. Saved by the word "incumbent", and brought to you by the term "Pack Horse", he can thank his lucky stars form has nothing to do with his selection and a lack of versatility does. In contrast a very underestimated opponent, from the Men with Sheep is "Slumber Party". The flanellete flyweight rake has been one of the few Men with Sheep to be playing to his potential and deserves his start in the Toad side.
I think you'll find he'll put "Butterarse" to sleep.
11. Ben Kennedy V Gorden Tallis - Has the potential to be the matchup of the series, providing "Kojak" can stay on the park. Constantly injury proned, has run more fitness tests than game minutes, that will need to change if he is to make his mark on the series. Labelled as a passionate hard running clubman, doesnt really help fix weak bines, ligaments and hamstrings. He faces the big bad banksia man, the Toad skipper, The son-of-a-rig, "Cromagnon". FOr more info on this species, please refer to SOO video tapes from the last 3 series.
12. Craig Fitzgibbon V Dane Carlaw - Something everyone has been waiting for, the SOO debut of "Moondoggie". One of the few with the heart and ability to deserve hsi call up, just has to play his natural game, swallow up plenty of meters and he'll go alright. Plenty of Virtual NRL Forward Tries from this champion. Faces the baby faced assasin from last season, "Coleslaw". Has the capability to play the full 80 minutes, if not watched carefully he'll end up devouring the Blues right on fulltime...again. May save his best for the Origin decider.
10. Jason Ryles V Petro Civinoceva - Another player who thinks he's in the mould of past Origin hardmen, "Dead or Alive" needs to assert the authority he's being tipped to. The proof is in the pudding for this other Integral Scum crock, and if there's ever a chance to see him play the ball backwards again, then its in this game. Facing a player that's had his ups and downs lately with Global conflicts and economic unrest, but "Petrol - 70centsalitre" has finally settled down and is back to focusing on his footy. Will we see lead-free or Premium unleaded???
13. Luke Ricketson V Tonie Carrol - The dependability of "Stud for Life" will once again be on show. There to do all the dirty work that's required of these games, the chick magnet will once again prove his value in the defensive stakes. Facing the centre come lock, "Burnett". The fiery slapstic redhead returns to the hardest League around after a couple of soft years in the Dart. Will be tough for him, but has a good pack in front of him that make his job easier.
The bench
Beetle V Is Right
Cleo V The Hitman
Sleuth V Whiz
Easy Lover V Archer
What can I say. Im not a great fan of the once spectacular Sh.ite of Origin. But The Toads are the favourites and frankly after looking at some of the Roachie selections, I can understand why. Im interested in how the 7 Chooks pull up after this bash-a-thon, and hopefully they can all back up this weekend when they take on The Cowgirls.
Toads by 16.
Its that time of year again when some salivate at the thought of 34 meatheads beating up on each other, whilst the other half, switch off or watch a replay of the 1984 series for some flying elbows and teeth. Regardless of which half of the couch you park your fat, lumpy arse on, one thing is enivitable: Sh.ite of Origin is here again. And with so many Chooks a part of it, it warrants a Melon's matchups...here we go...
1. Anthony Minichiello V Darren Lockyer - Just rewards for the high flying "Moth", for a great season thus far...here ya go...have "Lancelot Link's" blue cardigan. Is as nervous as a live mullet at a Game Fishing tournament, but I'm looking forward to some comic relief and hope he makes it through OK to take on the Cowgirls this weekend. In contrast his opponent "Goodyear" is one of the game's best. The balding retread is the nucleus of the Shetlands side and naturally that makes him a key in the QLD lineup. A lot will depend on the room his forwards provide him, but then again there's always the option of running at the Lord of Oh Gawd, "Sir Turnstiles".
2. Timana Tahu V Shannon Hegarty - "Dropsies" cruises his way in to the Roachie lineup on the back of captain "Pack Horse". DOnt know what the bigger danger is - his inability to catch the ball, or the possible compounding problem of the inability to catch "Sir Turnstile's" impossible to catch passes. I predict the 5th row at Lang Park will catch more than "Dropsies". Was to be facing his Naughts team mate, the political prisoner from Cuba, "Antonio Montana". The mustard suited one, pulled out at the first minute with an injured nasal cavity and is replaced by the hot-to-trot Cuban Cueball, "Latino Heat". Has come through the preliminary rounds and this is what all those lessons at Maroubra Seals were about. Wear the sequins with pride. Arrrrriba!!!
3. Matt Gidley V Brent Tate - After missing out on selection for Slickers V Bumpkins, "Sir Turnstiles" returns with a backflip off "PAck Horse's" that Annie Oakley would be proud of. Tears all wiped away, he's been impressing the Roachie coaching staff with extrordinarily long passes....into row 12!!! The Human Boomgate is facing yet another Shetland in "Hooter" who has shown time and time he has a nose for these big games. Actually he has a nose bigger than these games. Look for the loose flickpasses from "Sir Turnstiles" to be sniffed up by the speedy nostril. Sure to compare nose stories with "Antonio Montana".
4. Jamie Lyon V Justin Hodges - An unhappy season thus far for "Simba" with the only good news is his selection in the Roachie side. Playing in a beaten team, with a beaten forward pack and a no chop backline, somehow thinks this could be his only chance to see the winner's circle. His opponent is the in form centre of the NRL, the undisputed linguistic heavyweight, "The Mouth". He has a second bight of the cherry after almost single handedly almost handing the series to the Roachies last year, he'll want his cake and with a gob like his, he'll definitely devour it. Should be a powerhouse matchup between these two young blokes.
5. Matt Sing V Michael De Vere - A well deserved return to the rep scene for former Chook and curent Cowgirl, "Soprano". Co-leads the try scoring in the NRL, and seems to be faster than ever. Faces one of the few Roachies who plays club footy in toad territory, "To the left" has improved defensively and is one of 3 goalkickers in his squad, as opposed to the toads who have 1 part timer in "Goodyear". Not the speedbump he once was, but there are enough of them in the Roachie backline to not make a difference.
6. Shaun Timmins V Brett Ikin - Where's "The Messiah" when you need him? Surely the suprise selection in the blues lineup, with 80 minutes of footy in this position under his belt, "Spectator" returns for a very rare appearance. He beats golden Bullkebab Boy, "Chequebook", to the punch, something that says Roachie Assitant coach and Integral Scum official "Snoz" had everything to do with. Would be normally in a bucket load of trouble, but thankfully for his team faces another spectator in Coach Smiley's fave, "Fiance". Will test the PAck Horse's ability to play both half positions.
7. Andrew Johns V Shaun Berrigan - "Pack Horse" finally settles the feud with coach "Potato Head" and says he's ready to play Origin again. Full credit to the mouthguard chucker in solidly campaigning for his Naughts no hopers resulting in Coach "Potato Head" basically giving up after copping the shelacking of the decade from Murdoch Press. I dont see "Gerry Can" troubling the blue, with his biggest challenge being how many of his team he can carry, something he's used to by now.
8. Robbie Kearns V Shane Webke - Another Blue back from the dead is Static Electricity's "Williams". Has been picked for his forward leadership qualities, he'll be up against it when he faces a bookend who by his own admission needs to lift his game. "Duke Nukem" hasnt been too happy with his performance but looking at the Roachie front row, I'd say its his best chance to play into some form.
9. Danny Buderus V PJ Marsh - I cant understand how a player that has been outplayed by someone in his position gets a jump on the same said player that has outplayed him??? The Naught's "Butterarse" has done just that. Saved by the word "incumbent", and brought to you by the term "Pack Horse", he can thank his lucky stars form has nothing to do with his selection and a lack of versatility does. In contrast a very underestimated opponent, from the Men with Sheep is "Slumber Party". The flanellete flyweight rake has been one of the few Men with Sheep to be playing to his potential and deserves his start in the Toad side.
I think you'll find he'll put "Butterarse" to sleep.
11. Ben Kennedy V Gorden Tallis - Has the potential to be the matchup of the series, providing "Kojak" can stay on the park. Constantly injury proned, has run more fitness tests than game minutes, that will need to change if he is to make his mark on the series. Labelled as a passionate hard running clubman, doesnt really help fix weak bines, ligaments and hamstrings. He faces the big bad banksia man, the Toad skipper, The son-of-a-rig, "Cromagnon". FOr more info on this species, please refer to SOO video tapes from the last 3 series.
12. Craig Fitzgibbon V Dane Carlaw - Something everyone has been waiting for, the SOO debut of "Moondoggie". One of the few with the heart and ability to deserve hsi call up, just has to play his natural game, swallow up plenty of meters and he'll go alright. Plenty of Virtual NRL Forward Tries from this champion. Faces the baby faced assasin from last season, "Coleslaw". Has the capability to play the full 80 minutes, if not watched carefully he'll end up devouring the Blues right on fulltime...again. May save his best for the Origin decider.
10. Jason Ryles V Petro Civinoceva - Another player who thinks he's in the mould of past Origin hardmen, "Dead or Alive" needs to assert the authority he's being tipped to. The proof is in the pudding for this other Integral Scum crock, and if there's ever a chance to see him play the ball backwards again, then its in this game. Facing a player that's had his ups and downs lately with Global conflicts and economic unrest, but "Petrol - 70centsalitre" has finally settled down and is back to focusing on his footy. Will we see lead-free or Premium unleaded???
13. Luke Ricketson V Tonie Carrol - The dependability of "Stud for Life" will once again be on show. There to do all the dirty work that's required of these games, the chick magnet will once again prove his value in the defensive stakes. Facing the centre come lock, "Burnett". The fiery slapstic redhead returns to the hardest League around after a couple of soft years in the Dart. Will be tough for him, but has a good pack in front of him that make his job easier.
The bench
Beetle V Is Right
Cleo V The Hitman
Sleuth V Whiz
Easy Lover V Archer
What can I say. Im not a great fan of the once spectacular Sh.ite of Origin. But The Toads are the favourites and frankly after looking at some of the Roachie selections, I can understand why. Im interested in how the 7 Chooks pull up after this bash-a-thon, and hopefully they can all back up this weekend when they take on The Cowgirls.
Toads by 16.
