Tooooks
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I have a problem it's time to admit to: I have Parra Fan PTSD (PFPTSD) and judging by some of the comments in this forum, I'm not the only one.
So what is PFPTSD? For me, it's the inability to be confident of winning big games, no matter how well we're going; it's the feeling of impending dread that we'll implode even when we're hot favourites; it's the dreams of losing by impossibly big margins and the flashbacks of certain games.
I'm old enough to have vague recollections of winning in '83, the disappointment and emptiness of losing in '84, the heart stopping final moments of '86. I remember getting towelled up by Balmain in round 1 1987 and cracking the shits. Then the years and years of failure, watching our legends slowly break down and retire (Sterlo, Kenny, Grothe etc) then having to watch 'stars' like Scott Mahon, Robert Muchmore and Dave Woods (no disrespect to those guys - they tried hard and were good players) around for us. Years of failure followed and it seemed it would be that way forever.
During the Superleague debacle we were able to recruit well and I finally got a taste of finals after 10 years of waiting, finishing 3rd and getting bundled out in straight sets by Newcastle and Norths.
1998 was the beginning of my onset of PFPTSD. Another top 4 finish and we beat the eventual premiers in the regular season and in a major semi. 18-2 up in the preliminary with 12 to go I was thinking about our first grand final since 86. Then...well, we all know. I turned my tv off in disgust before the conversion to even the scores was even kicked. I knew we were gone. And I reckon we would've beaten Brisbane had we made it through.
In over 30 years of supporting this club, that loss hurts more than any other.
98-01 could've been another golden era for this club. We should've won at least two comps in that time but for some reason, we just choked on the biggest occasions. 3 prelim finals and 1 GF...ahh what could've been.
2005: the ghosts of that period were beginning to fade. A minor premiership, a solid squad, a thrashing of Manly to go directly to the prelim against the Cowboys then inexplicably...a thrashing. We beat Tigers comfortably twice during the year and beat Cowboys 50-12. That comp was ours for the taking.
By this time, I was well and truly in the grip of PFPTSD. 2009 was a nice surprise and we were never expected to win , but to come so close and then find out they were just under $1m over the cap that year...ouch. If they were cap compliant, who knows?
2010-2016, some of the worst times ever for a Parra supporter but here we are again, in the finals with a good chance of making it through to next week. And yet, I feel no real confidence about winning tonight, even though objectively we deserve to be favourites. I feel that same impending dread we'll have our pants pulled down by an under strength Cowboys team we are expected to beat. That's the biggest symptom of PFPTSD.
Still, I hope tonight is the first step in my recovery from PFPTSD.
Fire up boys!
----------EDIT - GAME DAY V COWBOYS----------
Had a bad feeling all week. Do we need a psychologist on the payroll? Why do we shit our pants like this? That was a woeful performance and why I always have a negative mindset going into our big games. Takes the edge off the inevitable disappointment.
So what is PFPTSD? For me, it's the inability to be confident of winning big games, no matter how well we're going; it's the feeling of impending dread that we'll implode even when we're hot favourites; it's the dreams of losing by impossibly big margins and the flashbacks of certain games.
I'm old enough to have vague recollections of winning in '83, the disappointment and emptiness of losing in '84, the heart stopping final moments of '86. I remember getting towelled up by Balmain in round 1 1987 and cracking the shits. Then the years and years of failure, watching our legends slowly break down and retire (Sterlo, Kenny, Grothe etc) then having to watch 'stars' like Scott Mahon, Robert Muchmore and Dave Woods (no disrespect to those guys - they tried hard and were good players) around for us. Years of failure followed and it seemed it would be that way forever.
During the Superleague debacle we were able to recruit well and I finally got a taste of finals after 10 years of waiting, finishing 3rd and getting bundled out in straight sets by Newcastle and Norths.
1998 was the beginning of my onset of PFPTSD. Another top 4 finish and we beat the eventual premiers in the regular season and in a major semi. 18-2 up in the preliminary with 12 to go I was thinking about our first grand final since 86. Then...well, we all know. I turned my tv off in disgust before the conversion to even the scores was even kicked. I knew we were gone. And I reckon we would've beaten Brisbane had we made it through.
In over 30 years of supporting this club, that loss hurts more than any other.
98-01 could've been another golden era for this club. We should've won at least two comps in that time but for some reason, we just choked on the biggest occasions. 3 prelim finals and 1 GF...ahh what could've been.
2005: the ghosts of that period were beginning to fade. A minor premiership, a solid squad, a thrashing of Manly to go directly to the prelim against the Cowboys then inexplicably...a thrashing. We beat Tigers comfortably twice during the year and beat Cowboys 50-12. That comp was ours for the taking.
By this time, I was well and truly in the grip of PFPTSD. 2009 was a nice surprise and we were never expected to win , but to come so close and then find out they were just under $1m over the cap that year...ouch. If they were cap compliant, who knows?
2010-2016, some of the worst times ever for a Parra supporter but here we are again, in the finals with a good chance of making it through to next week. And yet, I feel no real confidence about winning tonight, even though objectively we deserve to be favourites. I feel that same impending dread we'll have our pants pulled down by an under strength Cowboys team we are expected to beat. That's the biggest symptom of PFPTSD.
Still, I hope tonight is the first step in my recovery from PFPTSD.
Fire up boys!
----------EDIT - GAME DAY V COWBOYS----------
Had a bad feeling all week. Do we need a psychologist on the payroll? Why do we shit our pants like this? That was a woeful performance and why I always have a negative mindset going into our big games. Takes the edge off the inevitable disappointment.
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