PRELIMINARY FINAL (2008) WARRIORS v TITANS

[Willow]

Forum 7s - PRELIMINARY FINAL - 2008
*WINNER TO GRAND FINAL, LOSER ELIMINATED*
NEW ZEALAND WARRIORS v GOLD COAST TITANS​

-v-

​

Game Thread:
* Please note - This is a game thread only, therefore only game posts can be made here (Teams, Articles).
* Any other posts may result in loss of points and is at the discretion of the referee
* Only original articles, not used in previous games, will be marked by referees.​

Naming Teams:
* 5v5 (+ 2 reserves for each team)
* No 'TBA' or changing players named
* Captains must stick with original teams named​

ALL THE RULES & REGULATIONS: http://f7s.leagueunlimited.com/rules.php​

FULL TIME: Wedneday 24 September 2008 at 9pm (Syd time)​

REFEREE: Pistol
Venue: The Front Row Stadium​

**The Referee Blows Game On!**

CLICK HERE FOR OFFICIAL WORD COUNTER​

 

[Jesbass]

Live from Florence, Jesbass provides the lineup sheet...

Run On Team:
2. sportsthought
6. byrne_rovelli_fan82 (vc)
7. Jesbass (c)
11. rayroxon (vc)
13. MKEB...

Bench:
9. Misanthrope (vc)
24. Bay Vikings

 

[Jesbass]

Not far from the Spanish-French border, Jesbass storms onto the field for the Warriors, sombrero and croissant in tow...

***

Rugby League España (750 words between the stars)

There is no European nation that enjoys a party more than Spain. They love to start late and finish even later. And of all their cities, Barcelona in particular enjoys its nightlife.

That explains why I've just been woken up in the middle of the night by the repetitive thumping of not distant enough nightclub music.

My bleary eyes scan the clock.

5:18am...

Do these Spaniards ever sleep?

Okay, that wasn't the most intelligent question. I blame it on my apparent inability to function properly before late morning. The Spanish do, of course, sleep in the middle of the afternoon.

Fiesta by night, siesta by day.

I mumble something unintelligible before succumbing to slumber once again, but it isn't long before I'm roused for a second time.

6:42am...

Now what?

It's my mobile phone. Someone has sent me a text. I can't complain, though. I'd asked for match updates on the Warriors' first finals match of 2008. It's just that receiving them during dawn's first moments is, to quote Al Gore, “an inconvenient truth”.

I'm naturally hoping for a Warriors victory, but even moreso considering my circumstances: I'm on a Contiki tour going around Europe, and the overwhelming majority of our group are from Australia. Not all of them are league fans, of course, but somehow that isn't the point.

My trip has already included plenty of league-related experiences for me to 'get my fix' of the greatest game in the world. I've watched an English Super League match between the Harlequins and St. Helens; been to The George Hotel in Huddersfield where the game began; visited and interviewed former Kiwi Henry Paul.

And then there's the embarrassingly high quantity of expensive international text messages I've sent regarding both Forum Sevens and the real life version of the game.

7:34am...

I wake with a start. I didn't even realise that I'd drifted off. My mobile is beeping again. Apparently, the Junior Warriors have just run out 47-20 winners over their NYC opponents.

Hopefully that'll inspire the boys to fire up against the Storm.

I force myself up. The bus will be leaving soon, and I still haven't packed.

Today, we're heading for the French Riviera, directly through league territory.

With Barcelona being the capital of the Catalonia area, and nearby Perpignan being home to the Les Catalan Dragons, one could argue that I'm already in a geographical custodian of 'Jeu à Treize'. But the thousands of Barcelona FC shirts that cover many of the locals refute such an audacious claim.

8:20am to 9:00am...

Surrounded by the Spanish countryside, Mrs Jesbass and I sit nervously at the front of the coach, waiting with baited breath for each miniature piece of match information. The screen of my mobile phone serves as our textual television, and the speaker beeps with the arrival of new commentary.

We get excited as the Warriors lead; desperate as they trail; hopeful as they level the scores; completely stoked that a recent wooden spoon contender is keeping up with the team ranked 1st.

Could we actually win this? Is this history in the making? If so, it'll be massive.

We can't make our anxiety too obvious – there are people from Melbourne nearby.

9:01am to 9:21am...

The half time break hasn't done us any favours. The extended silence has resulted in a mass nail biting session. The floor of the coach is littered with our crescent-shaped chaff.

The lack of information and match debate is killing us.

9:22am to 9:55am...

The Warriors score and recapture the lead, but when the Storm first catch up and then overtake us, the air of inevitability overcomes us. Of course the team was never going to defy such impossible odds.

With only a few minutes remaining, the last I hear is that we're conceding too many penalties and not capitalising on our opportunities. It certainly wouldn't be the first time.

10:02am...

Within sight of the French border, the most important text of all comes through, screaming loudly in capital letters: “WARRIORS WIN!”

Say what?

As if on command, I'm suddenly inundated with text messages: from a former work colleague, a magazine editor, and three Forum Sevens 'auth-letes', all from different teams, all eager to include me in the celebrations.

As Mrs Jesbass and I let out a muffled "Hell yeah!", I turn to look around us. The Aussies are staring back at us with perplexed faces. They don't know why we're excited...

...yet. Just wait until I tell them.

***

A special thank you to Lossy and byrne_rovelli_fan82 for the regular match updates! :thumn

 

[sportsthought]

sportsthought on for the warriors, who are playing for a spot in the grand final. Bring it.

*****
​

Robsterlicious!
​

This is the first year I've been involved in Forum 7's League. I remember seeing a thread about 'Forum 7's' last year at NZWarriors.com. I never read it as I figured it was a betting game or something like that and that it would hold no interest for me.

This year, when Jesbass explained it to me and asked if I wanted to join, it sounded like fun. After some quick negotiations I signed up.

It was about then that I started reading about 'Robster'

He used to post over on NZWarriors.com, and quite quickly it became clear this guy was slightly different from the others.

For a start, there were the never-ending cheeseburger references. I didn't witness them personally as the evidence came mainly from the other posters. Then there is the absurd obsession with one time Warriors winger Justin Murphy. I am yet to understand, why Robster is obsessed/possessed by this bloke, who was average at best.

I can't go without mentioning his awful/brilliant videos on You Tube. Maybe I'm just getting old, but I can't comprehend for the life of me why someone would put that on the internet. I have to confess though, I watched them all.

For these reasons, it seems, Robster is a bit of a recurring joke in the forums.

Allow me to be critical but he's not the most articulate of writers. He's what I would call average, hardly creative, and far from being a chip'n'dip writer. Whereas most writers would spend time crafting their articles, the kid seems to just spew his out, like he's blogging.

Speaking of blogs, I became so curious that I paid a visit to his blog once. OK, ok maybe more than once.

I sometimes wonder whether Robster is just taking the piss out of everyone. Anyone who's seen his blog (invite only for a while) could understand. Most of his ramblings seem totally idiotic, yet at the same time they seem totally real and innocent. I should clarify of course, that the innocence stems not from what he says, but that fact that he says it at all.

And of course, there is the 'have you got a blog' thread, somewhere on this very website. I stumbled across it, and without skipping a beat, I read all 16 pages. In the words of Gus Gould all I can say is 'Unbelievable'. Or perhaps that should be peow peow?

The NRL has Willie Mason, the human headline, and we, well; we have Robster, the Forum 7's headline. Truth is though; we really don't know how lucky we are to have him.

It's not just the stuff he writes, but it's the way it generates such debate. I mean 16 pages? If ever there was proof that this site and competition needs him that was it.

Just like the NRL needs Mason, Gallen and Bird (well maybe not Bird) this comp needs Robster.

Like a succulent cheeseburger, he draws you in. You ridicule him, but at the same time you can't wait to see what he's got next. Unlike say, a competition full of people like me; good articles, but no theatre. As an aside, this sort of skill is both rare and valuable on the internet – you should think about that Robster.

Earlier this year, someone issued a challenge. If Robster got fewer points than his opposing captain he would have to wear the opposing team's banner. To me it seemed like people just wanted another chance to take the piss out of him, which smacked of schoolyard bullying.

The guy has had so much piss taken out of him, his bladder barely gets used, and unfortunately he's become an easy target.

The last I heard of him, he'd given up the Titans Captaincy and hasn't written since. Will he be with the Titans next year? Would the Warriors approach him as a free agent?

If up to me, I'd have him back tomorrow. In 'real' sports, you pick the best players and work with their personalities - it should be no different here. One of the challenges in this competition is consistently getting 5 articles out in time, so the more the merrier really. I mean another article about the Samoan rugby league isn't going to hurt is it?

Robster, assuming you have a peak at this article, keep up the good work bro. Have a burger for me while you're there, because keeping all these forum goers entertained must be hard work.

*****

​

750 words between the stars

 

[Titanic]

The Titans, six men and one woman tried and true, having been released from the judiciary with a warning and having got notes from their mothers, get ready to grapple again with those pesky lads from across the "dutch."

THE GOLD COAST TITANS' TEAM

The Run-on Team
1 Amadean
6 tits&tans
7 Titan Uranus
8 bgdc
11 Titanic

The Bench
9 Robster
12 Coaster

 

[Titanic]

Titanic, for the Titans, having instructed our players to "do not by way of direct or indirect implication sink to the level of the unsportsmanlike behaviour of some of the opposition", takes the field... Game On! (749 OWC)
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​

In Support of the Fan

Despite the fact that sports fans are found in nearly every nation and society, little research has been done to understand them. Maybe their abundance is precisely what makes them so hard to study, since doing so would require confronting a tangle of contradictions.

The existing studies of Rugby League fans are piecemeal but even so, they show that many basic assumptions about their fans are incorrect. Take the common assumption that fans are lazy and passive. Substantial anecdotal evidence shows League fans going out and “doing it.” Just looking at the numbers that play Touch is enough to refute the “couch potato” myth. Further research suggests that fans are, on average, much more likely to be athletic than nonfans.

Psychologists have pointed out; the charge that sport fans are lazy says perhaps more about the claimant than fans themselves. No one would suggest that to enjoy ballet one needs to dance, or to appreciate the opera one needs to sing a high C. Just as a person can enjoy Picasso without knowing how to paint, it seems reasonable that a person can appreciate Steve Menzies without knowing how to fend and tackle.

Nevertheless, fans, it’s safe to say, don’t enjoy a reputation for their intellect. And yet there’s evidence suggesting that fans may actually be smarter on average than nonfans. In 1993, Bond University researchers compared graduation rates and GPAs across South East Queensland, of hardcore League fans and students with no interest in sports. Lo and behold, they found that 64% (GPA 2.75) of hardcore fans graduated in 5 years or less, compared with 48% (GPA 2.66) of nonfans. Unresolved is whether watching a sport makes people smarter, or whether smarter people are drawn to sports. However, next time you cringe at somebody wearing face paint and screaming like a maniac, think twice.

Another assumption: fans are depressed, unfulfilled people who turn to sports to fill their empty lives. Again, if science is to be believed, it’s quite the opposite. Nonfans are the unhappy ones. A 1991 University of Western Sydney sociology study showed that hardcore League fans had higher self-esteem and suffered lower rates of depression than nonfans. This may not refute the notion that some are driven to fandom by internal emptiness, but it certainly suggests that in the face of such feelings, becoming a fan might be a reliable antidote.

What about aggressiveness? Isn’t it obvious that League fans are more violent than everyone else – more likely to irrationally riot or to beat up strangers? “Not even,” say scientists. Study after study has failed to show that hardcore fans exhibit any more aggressiveness than the rest of the population. Individual fans certainly get rowdy from time to time, but research suggests that alcohol is more likely to trigger such behaviour. The sensationalism surrounding crowd violence, for example, gives the mistaken impression that obscures the real probability of encountering trouble at a sporting match, not unlike the way the trauma of plane crashes obscure the statistical reality of flight safety. I’ve been attending League games since I was six and never encountered anything beyond a fist fight. A League fan is simply not any more dangerous than anyone else.

Finally, there’s also a commonly held belief that large numbers of men imperil their marriages by abandoning their spouses on weekends to watch League, creating legions of so-called “football widows.” Leaving aside the obvious point that plenty of women like the game as well, and that those who don’t might not equate three hours of free time on Saturdays and Sundays with being “widowed”, scientists say there’s simply no evidence that the phenomenon of the football widow exists. In 1995, sociologists conducted a telephone poll of several hundred people from urban areas of Brisbane and Sydney and asked them to characterise the effect of spectator sports on their relationships. 93% said their partner’s interest in watching sports on the box actually had a positive or neutral effect. This study raised the startling possibility that televised sports actually help relationships.

Let’s not pre-judge the fans eclectic manifestations of their “ownership” of League because, in the words of Lewis H. Lapham, "they pay to witness the ceremony of innocence, not the match, but the ritual portrayal of a world in which time stops and all hope remains plausible, in which everybody present can recover the blameless expectations of a child, where the forces of light always triumph over the powers of darkness.”

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Bibliography:

“Sports Fans: the Psychological and Social Impact of Spectators,” Wann, Daniel., Melnick, Merrill., Russell, Gordon. And Paese, Dale. (2001)
“Rammer, Jammer, Yellow Hammer” St.John, Warren. (2004)
“Assessing the Football Widow Hypothesis: A Co-orientation Study of the Role of Televised Sports in Long-Standing Relationships.” Journal of Sports & Social Sciences, 19, 352-376. Gantz, W., Wenner, LA., Carrico, C., & Knorr, M (1995)
“Lights, Camera, Democracy,” Lapham, Lewis H. (2001)

 

[MKEB...]

On walks MKEB...and slows the game back down to his pace *a tortoise comes screaming past*

MKEB...(with sunglasses) for the Warriors
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Football: The Great Leveler (750 words)

I was sitting down thinking about this season past; the ARL’s centenary of Football.

It was a reluctant thought session.

The previous night, the mighty Warriors had toppled the Roosters. I had fourteen empty cans of Speights on the bench, an empty Lamb Vindaloo punnet in the recycling bin, and a replica Warriors jersey that reeked of cigarette smoke.

Various thoughts pummelled my head as I sat on my white porcelain seat:
“Wade McKinnon will be back next week.”
“My throat feels like sand paper.”
“What if we actually make the final?”
“The sun is too bright; there is no way that I am going to mow the lawns.”
“The best game I have seen Wiki play all season.”
*Sniff sniff* “Lamb Vindaloo......cool.”

As I was lazing on the couch nursing a sore head, the next door neighbour’s dog started to bark. Loudly. Too loudly. (Strange that my missus couldn’t hear it.)
Note to self: next week, construct a spud gun.

Who would have picked the Bulldogs who have had such a proud record over the last few years would fall from grace in such a dramatic way?
The Bulldogs, who have formed a steadfast resolve in the face of rape allegations, salary cap breaches and occasional crowd disturbances, came to grief this year in a most spectacular way.
After everything that had come to pass previously, the straw it took to break the camel’s back was the departure of two key players (albeit in spectacular fashion). Thus the Bulldogs are left to carry the wooden spoon for 2008.

My coffee cup was shaking as though my hands were having mini earthquakes.

The much maligned Manu Vatuvei who had a couple of games in 2007 that left a lot to be desired, badly injured himself in the last regular game of the season. To make things worse he broke his leg in an early season game. When he got back onto the field, Manu came back a better player; full of confidence, power and speed. Indeed, the shadows of last season seem to have disappeared.
Currently (in my opinion) Manu is the premier winger in the NRL; a testament to his courage and determination.

The Warriors as a whole had an ordinary start to this season.
Up to and until July they were languishing at the foot of table, and after losing games by more than thirty points on a regular basis, they deserved to be coming last or thereabouts.
Missing a few key players at inopportune times certainly didn’t agree with them. But as players started to come back from injuries, the Warriors' fortunes had started to improve and suddenly a finals berth did not seem improbable. In fact making the preliminary finals has put a positive spin on their season.
In the space of a few months, they have gone from dead certainties for punters to bet against them at the TAB to short odds favourites.

The Sydney Roosters, who could boast an abundance of star players in their ranks and who at the start of the year had commentators and fans alike salivating at the prospects of champagne Rugby League, showed that even with the best players and coaches, winning games of football is not a given.
They had a great start to the season but petered out when it got to the closing stages.
Indeed they also had great starts to games, playing the first half of a match in breathtaking fashion only to come crashing back to earth in Icarus–like fashion, leaving fans, commentators and coaches scratching their heads.
I feel that their placing in the finals and consequent knockout is a true indicator of their season; they were there and thereabouts but didn’t have the stomach to carry on.

As my hangover was fading away into peaceful oblivion, I thought that during this year I have seen the highs and lows of Rugby League in a more direct way than I have in previous seasons.
This season has indeed been a beauty; teams have fallen from the lofty heights of previous season to the depths of despair. Teams playing well at season’s start have crumbled. Teams playing poorly at the start have finished the season in a canter. I have even seen oft’ lambasted players come good.
Proof that Football is indeed a great source of equilibrium.

From season to season; season start until season end and from one match half to another, football is the great leveler.
*************************************************************
750 WORDS BETWEEN SNOWFLAKES

 

[bgdc]

Bobby Fulltime aka bgdc for the Titans, in preparation - make-up in place, hair done, stains removed from last week, socks at exactly the same level; okay I think I'm ready. Did I forget something? No? I"m coming, I am coming. Oh yeah, my mouthguard. Just a minute. Here I am ready now. Shut up, I'm coming. No, damn, my players entry ticket. Now where did I put it? Got it! I said, " Shut up I'm coming!" (750 OWC including the title pictures 2 words)

*****************************************************************

​

Welcome to another warm helping of wisdom from me, Winfield Cup winner and author of When Is a Right Centre a Wrong Centre?, one of 1997's best selling League-themed self-help books. When I'm not organising fun-runs to raise alcohol-abuse awareness, or updating my Facepage, I offer free and impartial counselling to League's brightest stars.

Dear Bobby,
I love my current team mates. Every aspect of our game is perfect, except one. We string passes together for hours and happily stay up all night practicing inside balls, but when it comes to putting it where it counts something just doesn't click. Sadly, I'm faking my after-try celebrations just to spare their feelings.

Previously, I looked forward to scoring, and when I wasn't doing it I'd be thinking about the next one. These days nothing is further from my mind. My teammates don't notice anything is wrong and I feel it would be cruel to tell them that I'm not enjoying our weekly climaxes. There’s a big promotional game next week and I'm worried my teammates will expect to score loads of times. What should I do?
scotties@princedom.com

Dear Scotties,
I know it's hard, but the only thing you can do here is be honest. Tries are a really important part of any team. If the all-round play is as satisfying as you say, you should admit that your try-times aren't exactly titillating. Perhaps a few mistimed grubbers will alert your teammates that something’s amiss?

If honesty is too difficult immediately, perhaps scoring one-handed is an option. You could also have fun exploring with football toys such as cones or bibs, and really learn what works for you when crossing the line. One thing for sure, act now, because unhappy scoring is as dangerous for a team as an abnormally big zit on my nose is for me.

Dear Bobby,
I don't want to brag, but I've always been able to ‘cart it up’ straight and hard at will. Even towards the end of a big night game and 10 liters of isotonic drink, I could still ‘cart it up’ and down the middle which delighted my tall backs. But recently I've been unable to beat the first man with any sort of regularity. I'm frightened. It's not just on big SOO nights but simple NRL ones too. Mother says it happens to everyone, but I’m humiliated. When Freddy states they're "staying late at training" I’m worried that they're really having secret ‘carting it up’ sessions with my best mate Willie. What should I do?
mark’o’poo@ogre.org

Dear Mark’o’poo,
It is all about poise. The moment the pressure to beat the first man gets you, your ‘carting it up’ will start looking limp and lifeless. It might be the pressure of having no real job or even just life. You should read my old sparring partner Tommiato Rawdunnykiss' self-help classic "Coping with Impotent Set Plays", that’s if you can read, of course.

I remember when I was captain of Manfully in the late seventies; Mad Max Killeritch started to feel stressed, as the receding hairline suddenly went out of fashion. He couldn't get his ‘carting it up’ working for months. It’s frustrating, but as long as you still find your backs jogging up from behind and looking excited when you offer to take another one up, then you’ll be fine.

Dear Bobby,
I am a young pro and like many my age I am considering trying coloured boots. A lot of my friends are doing it and some have offered to show me how they work. It looks fun yet scary and I’m worried that fans will laugh. My friend Benji tried them and then couldn’t stop buying more. He was buying 20 pairs in the space of one season by the time he was 18. In spite of that I’m still curious. Can you help?
manu@butterfly.net

Dear Manu,
Everyone gets tempted, but my advice is to ‘ignore peer pressure’. It may look cool seeing people doing it in the media but that doesn’t mean it’s big or clever. I never touched coloured boots during my career, but I was certainly aware of players experimenting. My old chum at the Red Dragon Club, Chunda Langparks, liked them a lot, especially white ones. He was soon indulging in the harder stuff like cutdowns, molded soles and cortisone. I stick mainly to insulin and well-timed sugary snacks like those maroon coloured gummy wombats which are all called Graham.

Until next week… tata!
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[tits&tans]

tits&tans for the Titans rolls up his sleeves, washes his hands, ties up his apron and gets ready for a good kneading session ...

750 words (OWC)

*****************************************

​

ERL
​

For most League fans, the letters ESL conjure up images of Bulls, Rhinos, Wolves and Warriors. Images of grimy northern English cities and the true origins of Rugby League drift across the reader’s subconscious. The taste of blood, the smell of sweaty scrotums, the loud crack of breaking bones and the sight of athletes in their prime pervade one’s imagination.

In fact, there is another ESL, although few people outside of the field of education ever encounter such an entity. However, for many expatriates living and working in China, it is as much a part of our lives as boiled rice and chicken’s feet. I refer, of course, to English as a Second Language.

Any industry would not be complete if it did not have an endless supply of seemingly incomprehensible acronyms, and the ESL industry is no exception: TEFL, TESOL, TOEFL, IELTS, EAP and ESP to name but a few.

Not wishing to bore the reader to tears, I will not delve into the depths of the different details that distinguish these acronyms from one another, but I will briefly mention ESP – English for Special Purposes. This covers a huge assortment of language areas, ranging from Agricultural to Legal English.

In recent years the number of Chinese students wishing to study in Australia has skyrocketed. There are now countless institutions across China that offer preparatory courses for high school students, helping them with the transition from the Chinese to the Australian education system.

Most are decent and provide a good grounding in English, core subjects and study skills. However, in my opinion, every course lacks one vital ingredient: ERL – English for Rugby League. Although an example of ESP, I feel that ERL is strong enough and contains enough variety and original content to allow it to become an independent member of the, already bloated, ESL acronym list.

As the most popular sport in Australia, international students will certainly encounter all aspects of Rugby League, but particularly its vernacular and its fans. As part of the preparation for studying overseas, I firmly believe that an ERL program should be incorporated into all foundation courses.

Studying this course would allow students to converse fluently with diehard League fans and to easily follow a game. It would open their minds to one of Australia’s richest and most diverse cultures plus it would offer them until a host of experiences.

One of the first steps of studying any specialist language is to acquire the terminology. A sample vocabulary page from a proposed ERL textbook is shown below:

claret (n)
Description: popular alcoholic beverage, popular in rougher areas.
Usage: … great game, plenty of meat pies and claret.
Cockroach (n)
Description: Mashed or squashed, this delicious new southern welsh delicacy is best served under a blanket of beetroot.
Usage: … the Cockroaches were sandwiched between two large …
cut in half (n)
Description: magician’s favourite trick, often practiced by budding conjurors.
Usage: the crowd roared in appreciation as he was cut in half.
falcon (n)
Description: uncommon Australian avian, well known for using its head.
Usage: … poor form but an unbelievable falcon.
hooker (n)
Description: a profession, often of dubious substance.
Usage: … the two hookers were embraced by ten very large, hairy men.
Les Kiss (n)
Description: often spotted at halftime, particularly enjoyed by beer-swilling fans.
Usage: “I’m going for a Les Kiss.”
meat pie (n)
Description: a delicacy, most commonly found at each end of a field. Best served hot.
Usage: see claret.
melon (n)
Description: a thick-skinned ovoid with a soft inside, often found lying around paddocks.
Usage: … use your melon, Wally.
Mexicans (n pl)
Description: obnoxious people located to the south of your present position.
Usage: … stick that up your jumper, you bloody Mexican.
pill (n)
Description: an oft-times magical centrepiece of the game, sometimes difficult to swallow.
Usage: … he got smashed in a tackle and coughed up the pill.
sticks (n pl.)
Description: a collection of vegetation-less forest off-cuts.
Usage: … he’s gonna reef it through the sticks.
​

Having studied the vocabulary in this chapter, all students should be able to understand and interpret the contextual and cultural meaning of the following phrase:

Bozo picked up a loose falcon, claret pouring from his melon, avoided getting cut in half by the Cockroach’s hooker and placed the pill under the sticks for the winning meat pie, while I missed all the action standing in a queue of Mexicans waiting to take a Les Kiss.​

 

[byrne_rovelli_fan82]

byrne_rovelli_fan82 for the Warriors. Stalking her way on the field...


~~~

No Surprises.

http://www.nospam09.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/melbourne-storm-round-1-2008.jpg



In the aftermath of the NZ Warriors victory against the Melbourne Storm last Sunday, many claimed it was a surprise victory. But was it really? The history between these two teams has shown that they always play a close game with very little separating the final outcome.

Let’s take a look at those memorable games…

In 2001, the Warriors were out to make their mark since their new lease of life. They came late into the season in a tight table tussle with several other teams jostling for position in the final eight.

One highly anticipated match that was to define whether or not the Warriors or Melbourne Storm would make the top eight was when the two teams met late in the season. It lived up to expectations, with the lead changing several times, the Warriors almost gaining the upper hand before the Storm bounced back. With the scores tied, the few remaining minutes must have been a nervous time for the coaching staff and fans of both clubs. It was edge-of-your seat stuff in the dying the stages; a result of a draw would suit the Warriors just fine, but for Melbourne it was win at all costs. They continued to fight in the middle of the field for possession; aware any slip up could cost one side a finals berth. At last, it came down to the last minute and as the clock continued to wind down, Melbourne had the ball, thus beginning their air-raid, hoping against hope to break the Warriors and steal a victory. However the game played out to a draw- just what the Warriors required and the Storm missed out on the finals

Fast forward to 2006, and once again it was within the last few rounds when the Storm and Warriors met up. On this occasion nobody gave the Warriors a chance. The sides had already played earlier in the year, and that time Melbourne went away with the spoils. This time with all the odds against them, the Warriors turned up at ‘The Graveyard’ ready to rock and the Storm keen to stretch their home winning streak.

This game provided plenty of highlights for the fans; through ‘No-try’ rulings, offside play and a slick five-eight pass from Warriors captain Steve Price of all people, thus gifting winger Manu Vatuvei a clear run to the try line. Fullbacks Brent Webb and Billy Slater sparked up from the back, and the mismatch of centres Matt King and Lance Hohaia had its fair share of spectacular moments.

As the game wound down many were left a-gasp at the slim lead the Warriors had, wondering if what they saw was really true. ‘Were the Warriors about to create history?’

It hadn’t happened for over 16 games at Olympic Park, no other opposition was able to crack the seemingly unbreakable Storm on their home ground. The clock ticked by the 80th minute, and the horn sounded. Game over. History struck, the Warriors won 24-20iIn a year where salary cap breaches stunted their chances before the season began.

In the corresponding games between the clubs in 2007 both went the way of the Storm; nevertheless, the games showed the closeness of the teams and the skill level associated. The clashes were always tight and tough and not without a bit of controversy somewhere in the middle.

The Storm are an exciting, smart and skilful team with just the right blend of youth and experience and freakish individuals.

The Warriors, also have their youth, experience and skills coupled with an appetite for hot potato footy, to quote Sky TV commentator, Jason Costigan:
‘This is razzle-dazzle Warriors of old.’

While the rest of the competition struggles to play at the intensity of the Storm, the Warriors show on a regular basis they have what it takes to beat the ’07 premiers. Unlike the rest, the Warriors will not take a step back as hooker Ian Henderson noted; following last Sunday’s victory. They handled the much talked about tackle ball area with relative ease and minimised the attacking strengths of Greg Inglis, Israel Falou and Billy Slater. And trailing by only one point the Warriors snatched a famous victory from the jaws of defeat, leaving the 15,000 fans in awe.

Perhaps there is one more confrontation left between the Warriors and Storm in the 2008 Grand Final decider. If that’s the case rest assured there won’t be any surprises here, the Warriors will come out to play.
~~~

749 words according to the official word counter between the '~' lines

 

[Titan Uranus]

Titan Uranus, for the Titans, makes in just in time once more. 746 words including the title.

**********************************************************

Titans’ Possible Signings

​

After a scintillating start to the season, which saw them hold onto the top spot for five consecutive weeks, the Titans season collapsed again in the second half.

In a bid to remedy this situation the Titans' management have unveiled their plans for the next season. “The boys and I were kicking around a few ideas on the golf course, errr, boardroom, for how to improve the team next season,” said CEO Michael Searle, “when we hit upon a great idea.”

Searle takes up the story. One of the guys said, “Why don’t we sign some of the Titans for the Titans?”.

“What the bloody hell are you talking about? Why would we sign one of our own players again?” I asked him.

“No, not one of our own players,” he tells me, “one of the Titans”.

“What? We are the Titans you nong!”

“Not one our current players,” his friend continued, “I was reading about these blokes from Greece, you should look into them.”

At first Searle was reticent but later looked into it, persuading coach John Cartwright to do the same.

“To be fair,” said Cartwright, when asked about it, “I thought he was off his rocker when he told me about it but I looked into it and some of the lads show a lot of promise.”

As many Titans possess a lot of brute power but not so much playing skill they are largely expected to strengthen the forwards. Among the names linked with the Titans is Atlas.

As his likely front-row partner, co-captain Luke Bailey is greatly anticipating Atlas’ arrival. “My injury just goes to show that you need strength in depth in the team and with Atlas I think we’re going to get it. Us big guys need a break more often than the rest. If someone can come along and take some of the weight off our shoulders, then that’s great.”

Young tyro Michael Henderson is just as enthusiastic. “You talk about players who carry their team but here’s a guy who carried the sky (not the earth as most people think), for, like, ever.”

However, the star signing is likely to be Prometheus. He has no problem with going against what the powers that be say, in order to give the public what they want, with his genuine affection for the people. This is likely to cement him as an early fan’s favourite.

“The thing with Prommo,” Cartwright says “is that he’s so good in so many ways; not only is he superbly strong but he’s also very quick-witted. The guy outfoxed Zeus at least twice for Pete’s sake! I reckon he’d make a great five-eight, but we could also use his strength up front as a lock.”

Injuries are not likely to hamper Prometheus’ output for the team either. He managed to survive being chained to rocks, having his stomach cut open and eagles eat his liver. As his organ is immortal it re-grew each night and it was then devoured once again the following day. Anything that his NRL opponents can throw at him will pale in comparison.

Although Prometheus has had the occasional run-in with higher-ups and gave not just fire, but weapons of war, to the people, Cartwright believes that he’ll be a huge boost to the team. However, he has to draw the line somewhere.

“There was this one guy,” he tells us, “that they wanted me to have a look at, bloke called Cronus. Sure he had leadership skills and was stronger than most, but there are certain types of players we don’t want at this club.”

It would appear that Cronus’ castration of his father, marriage to his sister with whom he had six children (that he then ate), is more than the Titans are willing to put up with. Rumours that Cronulla want to sign him remain unproven.

The new signings may not necessarily be limited to playing staff. There’s one Titan who has not waited to be sought out and is more than ready to put his hand up: Uranus.

“There’s no one better than me to help look after this mob,” he states. “I’m the daddy of all the Titans. Not only that but I’m the bloody sky mate, and you can’t get better than that for someone to oversee everything. I mean, I’m literally everywhere.”

Seeing how the Titans will put their plan into operation is going to make for an interesting close season.​

 

[Amadean]

Amadean reluctantly acknowledges his Titanic captain's instructions towards fair and impersonal play, discarding a somewhat rabid rant of his own free will. That, and being kicked hard in the nards. Mostly the kicking, actually.

748 below the barrier

************


Eating Cake

From Isaac Asimov’s ‘Foundation’:

"A horse having a wolf as a powerful and dangerous enemy lived in constant fear of his life. Being driven to desperation, it occurred to him to seek a strong ally. Whereupon he approached a man, and offered an alliance, pointing out that the wolf was likewise an enemy of the man. The man accepted the partnership at once and offered to kill the wolf immediately, if his new partner would only co-operate by placing his greater speed at the man's disposal. The horse was willing, and allowed the man to place bridle and saddle upon him. The man mounted, hunted down the wolf, and killed him.
"The horse, joyful and relieved, thanked the man, and said: 'Now that our enemy is dead, remove your bridle and saddle and restore my freedom.'
"Whereupon the man laughed loudly and replied, 'Never!' and applied the spurs with a will."

Modern Rugby League is a spectacle. Players, their physique toned to the fine edge of fitness, clash in bright colours before thousands of cheering supporters. Hundreds of thousands more watch from their homes, pubs and clubs. Fireworks illuminate the fantastic forms of cheerleaders; kids fight for the right to be Lockyer when playing in the park.

Teams are supported by specialised physiotherapists, counsellors, dieticians, defensive trainers, judo specialists and wear bespoke suits for their on-camera outings. Administrators fly to executive committee rule-creation meetings; when these rules are broken players are defended by QC litigators before a judiciary. Current stars write newspaper columns, former players front pay TV discussion panels or perform wacky cross-dressing skits before predicting the next round’s results.

Sponsor’s logos litter the fields, grandstands, beer trays and jerseys of every home ground and the Man of the Match is always careful to thank Darryl’s Carpet Cleaning (Steam with a Smile) for his check. Television rights are sold for millions, some of which goes to pay for kiddies’ footy boots. Poker machines chatter throughout the country and help to fund the extra-ordinary level of support services each team appears to need.

This is not written in bitterness; no redress for any systematic failure of the NRL is being demanded. It is important to note that this state of affairs allows the nation to access first-rate football on a weekly basis.

Oh, it is always nice to look back towards some Golden Era, when men were men, women were women, players were buried in the grounds of their original club and a punch-up on the field was as certain as the team bus breaking down. It is always nice and always ridiculous.
Back in the apocryphal ‘good old days’ players held jobs as well as team contracts. Stadia didn’t have electronic replay boards, nor did TV commentators have access to a seemingly endless wealth of statistics. Diets weren’t measured, knees weren’t arthoscopied and if there were no seats available in the grandstands then you stood to watch the game.

Players had little health insurance and no ability to build a nest-egg for an arthritic retirement. Park matches didn’t receive pay TV funding, jerseys were not wind-tunnel tested and teams only played neighbouring suburbs.

League split from Union to allow players to receive a bit of cash for putting their bodies on the line. This is why the game exists and how our much-bemoaned current state of affairs arose.

Rugby League today is played faster, harder and more skilfully than it was in the past because greater capital and incentives are available. Players can earn enough to set themselves up for life, teams have the resources to train them and administrators have the funding to organize national and international matches. This cash didn’t come from sausage sizzles.

It came from the media.

Sponsors advertise because they can reach a large audience. TV rights have value because sponsors want to reach a large audience. It really is that simple. Clubs are businesses traded on the ASX or that have their own golf courses and theatres.

This filthy lucre gives us higher quality rugby league than ever before. It comes at a price.

Supporters have no control over Rugby League. In return we get comfortable seats and the knowledge that players have a post-footy future. “That’s My Team” is disingenuous at best, at worst a downright lie.

They aren’t your team. They belong to News Limited.

Perhaps the gains were worth the price League now pays. Perhaps not. Just remember: League placed itself beneath this saddle voluntarily.

 

[byrne_rovelli_fan82]

rayroxon posting by proxy:

***

And here’s to you.

Whenever I read about the Dragons I think about Mrs Cummins. For those of you not in the know she was my Year 5 primary school teacher.

Apart from being an educator she was a die hard Dragons supporter and had a red and white scarf during winter, a red and white hat for playground duty in the summer and one of those team mascot foam wall plaques that you don’t seem to be able to get any more above the blackboard.

When the Dragons had won on the weekend she’d give us an early (usually higher) mark on Monday. If they’d lost badly, she’d be in an irritable mood all day.

Upon reflection Mrs Cummins was the first true fan of league that I ever met. She would be the first in a range of hopeless cases whose very moods were dependant on the deeds of 17 relative strangers the previous weekend. I followed her blueprint (below) for supporting league when I adopted the Warriors.

* Be unreasonably positive about your team no matter what the circumstances.
* Rejoice when they win.
* Be in a foul mood when they lose.
* Buy hoards of crap merchandise.
* Be passionate.

These are five simple rules that endear you to fans of any code while alienating you from all non followers. Without fail every week during the season I will do at least four of the five actions listed above.

Do it enough times amongst enough neutral observers and you create a legacy. Nick Hornby touched on this legacy during Fever Pitch, his novel about being a fan of Arsenal for the past 20 years.

If you haven’t read it it’s the quintessential fans book. However, I digress. In being a fanatical Arsenal fan, Hornby’s friends began identifying Arsenal’s successes and failures as his own. When Arsenal won the Premiership, those around him would congratulate him. Over the past fortnight I’ve started to experience the same thing.

It seems that my own flag-waving, jersey-wearing, unequivocal support of the Warriors has created a legacy amongst those that know me. It’s something that sort of creeps up on you. Before you know it, you’re that crazy guy that supports the Warriors. Throughout last Sundays qualifying final against the Storm, there’s never been more doubt that I am that guy amongst my friends. My phone was abuzz with messages of “I hope you do it” through to “You have no chance”, and ‘I’ll have sex with you.’ At least I was being thought of.

I must admit though at the time I was far too nervous to reply back. I just watched and waited and then Michael Witt scored the go ahead try in the 78th minute. I picked up my mate off his bar stool and almost shoved him through a window.

The publican came and settled us down by threatening to kick us out. I collected myself and when I returned to my phone it was full of messages of support. The messages were almost all the same but the range of people that sent them was the surprising part.

From friends I hadn’t seen for a while, to old work colleagues, bosses, extended family and forum members, they all wrote to say well done. Just as in the earlier messages there was no differentiation between “you” and the Warriors. To my friends we were kind of a lame two part holy trinity; I am the Warriors and the Warriors are me.

This continued over the weekend. Taking the opportunity to wear my jersey to a farewell, I was stopped on the way to the bar by a more discreet league fan and we chatted at length about the Warriors success.

On Sunday I wore my jersey to a family BBQ and aunts, uncles and cousins stopped me to comment. On the way home from the BBQ I saw two rat tailed 10 year olds on their bikes who stopped to give me a “That’s gold” signal.

The Warriors step up and do it all again this Saturday against the Sea Eagles. I know if they win I’ll get the same series of messages and if they lose, I like to think that I’ll get some form of commiserations.

I guess it’s what happens when you wear your heart on your sleeve for all to see. If Mrs Cummins knew of the League legacy she’d created, I’m sure she’d be sending me a message this weekend too.

***

word count: 750 words according to official word counter
​

 

[Willow]

 

[Titanic]

Titans v Warriors III ... looks like another close one (we'll have to stop meeting like this).
Great work again Titans, I am humbled by your collective commitment.
Warriors all the best.
Pistol, over to you.

 

[byrne_rovelli_fan82]

Well done Warriors and Titans!! Good work everyone, and all the best.
*sits and waits for Pistol* LOL

 

[bgdc]

Somehow this feeling is equated to hyperventilating and synchronised swimming - I just don't know how long I can hold my breath. Good game everybody.

 

[Jesbass]

Good game to both sides, and well done on the Warriors bouncing back from last week with all 5 posts.

Bgdc, take a bow - that article was brilliant!

Over to you, ref!

 

[Pistol]

I believe I'm going for a round of golf tomorrow. after that, and a feed, I reckon you'll have your marks.

 

[bartman]

:lol:

Good luck to both teams. You've enjoyed great seasons no matter who goes over in this one.