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Rumoured/Confirmed Signings 2010/2011

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Casper The Ghost

Casper The Ghost

First Grade
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9,924
Maroubra Eel said:
Anyway I'm hoping my 13 month old doesn't wake up now. He has a bit of a cold and goes beserk when he wakes in the night, the poor little thing. Wife is out galavanting at the royal motor yacht club down at point piper or something. So I've got no backup if the little monkey goes crook.

Anyway enough post wasting. Anyone got any signing news?
Click to expand...

Yes, I actually do.... if it will be of any help to you I signed a piece of paper today.:D
 
Casper The Ghost

Casper The Ghost

First Grade
Messages
9,924
A Scottish couple decided to go to Spain to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.
They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Glasgow and flew to Barcelona on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Blackpool , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who died following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2008

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that
Everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. F***ing hot down here!
 
Casper The Ghost

Casper The Ghost

First Grade
Messages
9,924
The $50 Lesson ................

I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be Prime Minister of Australia.

Both of her parents, Labor supporters, were standing there.

So I asked her, "If you were Prime Minister, what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."

Her parents beamed.

"Wow ... what a worthy goal," I told her. "But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my driveway, and I'll pay you $50. Then, I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Liberal Party."

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
 
Casper The Ghost

Casper The Ghost

First Grade
Messages
9,924
As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen turns to President Obama, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets... I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

Obama, always trying to be "Presidential," replied: "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought... Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.
 
Casper The Ghost

Casper The Ghost

First Grade
Messages
9,924
The other night I was invited out for a night with the "girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed ... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 Cuckoos - MIDNIGHT!

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in .... I told him "MIDNIGHT"... He didn't seem pissed off in the least.

Whew ... I got away with that one! Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh sh*t." Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
 
D

dazeely

First Grade
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6,679
Whilst I haven't taken any or many as truth I have still managed to visit this thread religiously I suppose in hope more than anything.
 
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