Superthread LXI - No longer honouring AdamKungl for his birthday as it has now passed

[afinalsin666]

When did slip slop slap become so complicated?

 

[Dani]

He never put me down. Ever. Just when we had a fight, he used his fists. The last few times he blamed me. And that's when I came to my sesnses.

He called me beautiful nearly every day we were together, even when things were really bad.

It's not always the same.

The hardest part is when people say he never loved me. For three years we never had a problem. Then things changed. Badly. And I hung on to hope that they would change back/he wanted to change for a year before I realised it wouldn't.

For a long time I did believe its what I deserved. But you're all very aware of my rather terrible image of myself. That was around long before him though.

 

[Dani]

I tell a lie.

He used to put me down for not fighting back. I don't know why I only just remembered that.

 

[Joker's Wild]

I just want to give you a big hug Dani

We have never met IRL but I doubt those who have would argue with me when I say that you are a beautiful person and deserve much more happiness in your life than you currently seem to have.

My only criticism of you is you need to smile with your teeth more ;-)

 

[God-King Dean]

You could kill him. I find it's great for closure, in my experience.

 

[God-King Dean]

I was just looking through 4 Corners.....

Do they have idea how stupid they look? It's no different from the NRL forum.

"U r left wing and you are stoopid"

"Typical right ring facist daaaaawgs."

"Give an L. Give me an A. Give me a B. Give me an O. Give me an R. What does that spell? LLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRR"

"The carbon tax was wrong. Gillard? Pfft, more like DILLard! ahahhaahah"

"Yeah, but Tony Abbott wears speedos, & inflation & boat people & stuff & shit."

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

He never put me down. Ever. Just when we had a fight, he used his fists. The last few times he blamed me. And that's when I came to my sesnses.

He called me beautiful nearly every day we were together, even when things were really bad.

It's not always the same.

The hardest part is when people say he never loved me. For three years we never had a problem. Then things changed. Badly. And I hung on to hope that they would change back/he wanted to change for a year before I realised it wouldn't.

For a long time I did believe its what I deserved. But you're all very aware of my rather terrible image of myself. That was around long before him though.

Maybe it's time that you do something that you've been telling yourself that you are incapable of.

I always thought that a lot of your self image was because of him. Silly assumption on my behalf. Sorry.

I often hear you talk about wanting to find someone to love and looking for a relationship.

This will sound horribly cheesey and it's an old adage but I maintain that it is true and I'm going to say it anyway so here goes...

How can someone love you if you don't love yourself?

You are already a good person with a lot of redeeming factors so it's not like you have to change who you are. You just need to learn to see the good things in yourself that others already see in you.

You can't look to others to show you that you are a good person. Finding someone to love you will not solve this problem either. You need to find this in yourself first.

I don't know how to fix this one, because I've always been a positive person with a good self image. When I see a negative in myself, I work to correct it but I hope that it is already balanced off with a positive in some other area anyway.

 

[Drew-Sta]

Because every girl wants to be told they are beautiful.

You are beautiful

I just wish more girls believed boys when they said it. I tell my wife she's beautiful all the time but she doesn't believe me

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

I was just looking through 4 Corners.....

Do they have idea how stupid they look? It's no different from the NRL forum.

"U r left wing and you are stoopid"

"Typical right ring facist daaaaawgs."

"Give an L. Give me an A. Give me a B. Give me an O. Give me an R. What does that spell? LLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRR"

"The carbon tax was wrong. Gillard? Pfft, more like DILLard! ahahhaahah"

"Yeah, but Tony Abbott wears speedos, & inflation & boat people & stuff & shit."

I love how people look at politics and come out with the opinion that one party creates all the problems and the other will have all the answers.

Sure, one party or the other will fit your individual circumstances better but on the whole, I like to think of politics as like standing at the bottom of a pole while watching a bunch of monkeys climb it.

No matter which way I look at it, all I see are a bunch of monkeys and arseholes and no matter which monkey reaches the top, eventually they will all still shit on me anyway.

 

[Dani]

Maybe it's time that you do something that you've been telling yourself that you are incapable of.

I always thought that a lot of your self image was because of him. Silly assumption on my behalf. Sorry.

I often hear you talk about wanting to find someone to love and looking for a relationship.

This will sound horribly cheesey and it's an old adage but I maintain that it is true and I'm going to say it anyway so here goes...

How can someone love you if you don't love yourself?

You are already a good person with a lot of redeeming factors so it's not like you have to change who you are. You just need to learn to see the good things in yourself that others already see in you.

You can't look to others to show you that you are a good person. Finding someone to love you will not solve this problem either. You need to find this in yourself first.

I don't know how to fix this one, because I've always been a positive person with a good self image. When I see a negative in myself, I work to correct it but I hope that it is already balanced off with a positive in some other area anyway.

I agree. And no. No one will love me till I love myself. I'm trying. And by making jokes its my coping mechanism...or so I've been told.

I know I'm a beautiful person on the inside and I have lots of love to give. I just don't like what stares back at me in the mirror. I also know how to differentiate between the two.

 

[Dutchy]

You could kill him. I find it's great for closure, in my experience.

This

 

[Dani]

Have thought about that a few million times :lol:

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

I agree. And no. No one will love me till I love myself. I'm trying. And by making jokes its my coping mechanism...or so I've been told.

I know I'm a beautiful person on the inside and I have lots of love to give. I just don't like what stares back at me in the mirror. I also know how to differentiate between the two.

Dani, compared to me you are an absolute friggin oil painting.

I have one of the roughest heads you will ever see and it isn't going to improve with age.

At the end of the day, I can't really change that short of getting plastic surgery. It would be great if I looked like George Clooney, it would make life a lot easier and I probably wouldn't have to work as hard to get ahead in life but sadly, that will never be an option for me.

The important thing is that I know it. I accept it and I've decided that it won't be an issue for me because I can compensate for it either just by being an absolute champion of a person or working at a goal harder than the good looking bloke.

That attitude has worked for me so far. It also worked for me when I lost the sight in one eye. Sure, I was depressed about it when that happened but I came out of it determined to just work harder at everything than the bloke with two eyes. Plus, I reckon that having one eye is better than having no eyes... Right?

When I think about the fact that I only have sight in one eye, I'm not envious of the bloke with two eyes. Instead I feel sorry for the guy with no eyes and thankful that he is not me because it easily could have been.

 

[Dani]

I'm working on it. I don't know what else to say. What I haven't already said many times over.

I'm sorry that I can't see the good. I never have. Ever. Go back 15 years and ask 11 year old Dani and she'd say the same things.

I.am.trying.

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

I'm working on it. I don't know what else to say. What I haven't already said many times over.

I'm sorry that I can't see the good. I never have. Ever. Go back 15 years and ask 11 year old Dani and she'd say the same things.

I.am.trying.

Fair enough.

All I can say is good luck. I hope something of what I have typed today is helpful.

Always available to chat if you need it.

 

[sportive cupid]

I only feel guilty because I told him I couldn't forgive him.

If he thought you forgave him would you feel less guilty?

 

[afinalsin666]

How's surgery coming along Dani? Less pain would definitely help, at the least.

 

[Dani]

The way I'm going I'll never get my surgery. Less pain would make my life a gazillion times better. Might actually get out of bed on my days off...

 

[sportive cupid]

I agree. And no. No one will love me till I love myself. I'm trying. And by making jokes its my coping mechanism...or so I've been told.

I know I'm a beautiful person on the inside and I have lots of love to give. I just don't like what stares back at me in the mirror. I also know how to differentiate between the two.

Dani,can I make a suggestion.
I don't know that much about you .But what I have seen is alot like the stories a Domestic Violence support service hears pretty much everyday.
Lots of women seek counselling from drs and other therapists for years and never quite get the satisfaction they want from these services because the emphasis is all wrong .

If yo want to PM me I could give you the contact for a service that just might work for you .

 

[Dani]

Dani,can I make a suggestion.
I don't know that much about you .But what I have seen is alot like the stories a Domestic Violence support service hears pretty much everyday.
Lots of women seek counselling from drs and other therapists for years and never quite get the satisfaction they want from these services because the emphasis is all wrong .

If yo want to PM me I could give you the contact for a service that just might work for you .

I have a good psychologist now. But thanks.