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2014 Round 1 :: Souths vs Bluebags

Monk

Referee
Messages
21,347
souths_zps7ad93a9a.jpg
vs
BBags_zps1247ea4a.jpg


Game Thread:
* This is a game thread only. Only game posts can be made here - team lists, substitutions, and articles.
* Any other posts may result in loss of points and is at the discretion of the referee.
* Only original articles, not used in previous games, will be marked by referees.

Naming Teams:
* 5 -V- 5 (+ 3 reseves for home side; +2 for away)
* No 'TBA' or changing players named
* Captains must stick with original teams named

Rules: http://www.forumsevens.com.au/rules.php
Official Word Counter: http://www.forumsevens.com.au/wordcount.php

Kick Off: Sunday 20th of April 2014
Full Time: Monday 5th of May 2014 (9:00pm Sydney Time)
Referee: Non Terminator
Venue: Redfern Oval

image.jpg
 

Hutty1986

Immortal
Messages
34,034
Hutty1986 gallops in, hoping to help the Bluebags get 2014 off to a cracking start!


749 words using the Official Word Counter


Let’s be realistic here…

Alright, I’m just going to come out and say it; I don’t know how New South Wales can win State of Origin this year.

Firstly, there’s the injuries. Every bloke and his dog seems to be out of action at the moment and unfortunately for the Blues, Mitchell Pearce remains fully fit. Even our back-up back-ups are injured. Tariq Sims probably had Buckley’s chance of playing SOO this year but even he’s busted. Mick Jennings’ candy heels have been put on ice and James ‘ideal 1950’s gangster name’ Maloney is far from 100%.

But that’s not all. Let’s take a look at the opposition, shall we? Jonathon ‘conspiracy theorist’ Thurston. If he’s not the best player on the planet, he at least made the semis and probably got beaten there by a seventh-tackle try. He can run, he can kick, he sets up tries, he competes like a dog with a bone each and every game. Not only that, he’s got the best laugh in the game. If you haven’t heard it, it’s a little bit like Muttley after a few cones.

Cooper ‘fires in my village’ Cronk. The consummate professional. Rumour has it this bloke writes out his play-sheet and memorises it before he beds his missus. And you just know he won’t be straying from that game plan, either. Even his haircut is regimented. Short back and sides. No loutish mo-hawks, faux-hawks or hair dye for this fella.

Cameron ‘H&R Block’ Smith. Now you Maroon bastards are just taking the piss. This guy shouldn’t be a footballer, he should be helping me get the best possible tax refund. Alas, he plays footy and even I’ll admit he’s handy at it. Tackles all day, plays direct, even sets up the occasional try. I wish our halfback could set up tries.

Those are just three members of what is a positively star-studded Queensland outfit. Chuck in Greg Inglis (I guess you could also fly him in, if the weather’s dry), Billy Slater and some brutally effective forwards and you have a hell of a side. Heck, even Chuck Norris would struggle to grab a bench spot. Just kidding, he’d be captain-coach of any team.

So is that enough reasons yet? Have I mentioned the fact that the Maroons have two home games this year at a venue where they haven’t lost a 'live' match since 2005? Oh, well there’s that too. Those cane-turds always grow an extra leg, arm and head at Fortress Suncorp. The action is so fast and frenetic, that sometimes their supporters can’t bear to leave their seats for one second…even for the most basic bodily functions.

Let’s not forget M. Pearce. One of the most maligned Origin players of all time, and for good reason. ‘Junior junior’ has now played an even dozen SOO games. So that’s 12 games, nine of which he has lost. Those are pretty grim figures for a key playmaker, even one playing for a side that has struggled to win a chook raffle for nigh on a decade now. Cue the mouth-breathing, foam-at-the-lips Chooks fans here.

“But he’s won a premiership now, he’s matured!”
“We wouldn’t have won the comp without him last year!”
“Didn’t you see his (regulation) pass to an (unmarked) second-rower in last year’s grand final????”
“He has cool tats!”
“Who else are you going to pick at seven for the Blues?”

That last one, that’s the doozy that gets me every time. No-one else is reallllllly putting their hand up, so let’s go with one of the most accomplished representative losers of the modern era. Maybe they’re right; maybe he’ll actually come good this year. And to be fair, his tattoos are a lot better than Todd Carney’s. Whoever convinced him to get that face/zombie/Michael Jackson thing on his chest must have some excellent powers of persuasion.

All is not lost though, fellow Blues fans. There is one man who can help us stop the rot. Jarryd ‘not just a great player, but an effective variety of transport options’ Hayne. Geez, I love Haynesy. He has consistently been NSW’s finest player for the past eight long, dreary years.

This has lead me to come up with the greatest complimentary catch-phrase a Rugby League player can receive; ‘Looks like Tarzan, plays like Hayne.’

So in conclusion, Queensland has a near-invincible side, the home-ground advantage and eight years of dominance behind them. NSW has Haynesy.

Oh f*ck it, Blues 2-1.
 

Drew-Sta

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
24,567
Drew takes the field, grateful to be a part of the Bags for another year, and glad for the captaincy of AFS!

Hero of the day

Mama they try and break me
The window burns to light the way back home
A light that warms no matter where they've gone...


Frank was one of those guys that was always around the club. He typically played a few different roles for the club; sometimes he was a trainer for the all ages, sometimes he was gear steward. But he was always there on rego day and he was always happy to see people come back for another season.

Hurstville United loved him. He was a character; keen to have a beer with all who would pull up a stool and give a yarn about the days past. His favourite was the time he saved the day for the U/16 A’s and claimed ‘hero’ status for the rest of his life.

The 16’s had a big end of year game against the Group 10 side Mudgee Dragons for the end of year cup between the two clubs. Halfway out to Mudgee, however, the bus popped a tired and they were stranded on the side of the road on a Saturday morning.

NRMA were called, but they wouldn’t be there for hours which meant the two teams would miss their game. As the coach was about to call off the game, the bus driver called Frank and asked him if he could drive out to help.

And help he did – bringing with him a new tire and all the equipment to change it with him at the drop of a hat. He arrived and changed the tire so it could resume the trek. The U 16’s got there with half an hour to spare (which was less than they wanted) but still managed to take the field and win the game.

After the game Frank was chaired off the field after he’d spent the game screaming his guts out at the ref and in support of the boys. He was that kind of guy.

About six months ago he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The club was quick to respond, rounding up a team of players to help take him to the hospital for treatments after he lost the use of his car, clean his house and cook his meals. Club members went above and beyond to make sure Frank made all his treatments, his house was clean and good company was never far away. Family, it said, looked after family – and Frank was family.

But the battle was one Frank wouldn’t win. Six weeks ago he left this world, and we were all poorer for his loss. As I sat in his funeral, I looked around and was surprised by just how many people this gruff old man had touched. Kids from the current lower grades were there with parents balling their eyes out; wives of player’s batted tears from their eyes as their husbands tried unsuccessfully to stop the waterfall down their face. I, too, was one of them.

The club president stood and opened a letter, saying it was written by Frank a few weeks before his death.

“He wanted it read aloud,” Paul said, clearing his throat and wiping back a tear.

“To my friends and family at Hurstville United,” it began. “I want to thank you for the love and charity you have showed me over the last six months. We all knew this day was coming. But it is how you have helped me there that touched my heart.

“When a player suffers a season ending injury on the field, the hero of the day is the trainer who picks him up gently, wipes away the tears and leads him from the field. It is in those moments that the trainer must repeat to the player their worth to the team; a truth the injury has robbed them of.

“These last six months you have been my trainer; you lifted me off the ground when my life threatening injury was confirmed, wiped away my tears and gently led me from the field of play. And as I am handed over to the great doctor in the sky, you made sure I knew my worth as a player in this team competing in life.

“For that, I am eternally thankful.”


Paul finished, wiped back his tears and left the podium. For today we felt like we had been worth something to a man who had in many of our footy careers been the hero of the day.

Words: 747
 
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afinalsin666

First Grade
Messages
8,163
El capitan on field to yell and cuss at people. That's all it takes right?

We got a 745 according to the counter of words.

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I grab a beer from my esky, VB in a can. That first foamy mouthful hits the spot, covering the taste of the warm dregs from the bottom of my previous beverage. I light a cigarette, Winfield Blue. That first hit settles me slightly, though whether from effect or habit is hard to tell. I am a walking stereotype at this point, but that is the least of my worries, for this ANZAC day game against the Warriors is ahead of me. Another hit of icy bitterness and smooth tobacco calms my nerves, though I am still terrified.

We aren't in the best shape, and I know it. The bottomfeeders of yesteryear are fully in control of the competition, while the usual suspects of the top four have a strangle hold on mediocrity. We, the Melbourne Storm, are four wins and three losses this season. Not a bad record, certainly. Still I am disappointed, for the performances speak louder than statistics.

My friends sneer when the my boys come out onto the field, making jokes and insulting the players, gesticulating wildly and spilling beer. Borne of jealousy, to be sure. But the words are striking true, a chink in armor once unbowed.

I remember, down twenty points in round one, a chance injury to our adversaries, the Sea Eagles, main man and a capitulation of epic proportions gave us as scratchy a win as you will see this year. One point. Now, I am confident in my team, and blamed that close victory on Cooper Cronk being absent from the side. We will surely win when he gets back.

We did indeed, but it took seventy nine and a half minutes for us to do it, against much more mediocre talent in the Panthers. Of course, the reason we barely won that was because we hadn't had time to adjust, we were running rusty. Of course I had excuses.

I look up, and the Warriors slice through. Not even ten minutes and they have us against it. No matter, they just missed the kick. I take a swig of my still cold beer. This will be a fight, then.

Just like our round three against the Knights. A hard fought victory, sadly only to be remembered by the horrific injury sustained by Alex McKinnon. My mind shies away from that, as it always does.

Back and forth the teams go, the tide ebbing and flowing, until the Warriors finally crack us open, with Mateo laying one on. My heart sinks, as it reminds me of our flogging at the hands of my most hated enemy, the Bulldogs. Forty points. The less said about that the better.

I stop being melodramatic and just try to enjoy the football as we go over scant minutes from half time, with Smith nailing the kick. The score is ten six to the Warriors, until we give away a penalty. Of course we do. Just like in round five against the Titans, locked up with less than a minute to go, and we give one away. Useless, absolutely useless.

I am angry, my mates haven't let up, so I head outside to clear my head a bit. I relax, and think Bellamy must have been able to get into their heads during the halftime break.

Sure enough, we come back and we are right back into it, going over three minutes after the buzzer. Smith misses the conversion, and we are at ten to twelve Warriors way. It goes back and forth, until the Warriors crack us in the sixty-third, going to a six point lead.

I start hoping we will do we did to the Dragons, or what the Raiders did to us, and storm home in the last minute of the match. I sit at the edge of the seat, waiting for the moment to come. Waiting for that spark of magic. The minutes feel like hours as I wait for that one act of brilliance from our guys. Nothing. The match ends, with our NZ rivals taking the points.

Now, I came into football late. Late 2008 in fact. Since then, my team has been on top, and even in 2010 when caught for cheating, we were still better than every team by a mile. This is the first time I have been a fan of an average team. Not the NRL media bastardization of the term. Actual middle of the road.

And I'm excited for it.
 
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soc123_au

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
18,451
soc123_au for the defending premiers.

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Dopey Kents

Much has been said about Paul Kent’s comments regarding the Fiji vs Samoa clash over the Rep Weekend.
“I couldn’t care two hoots about Samoa and Fiji. Who wants to really sit down and watch that game?”
He doesn't get it. The same could be said for those slamming the Rep Weekend at all. Personally, I friggen loved it.

The ANZAC test on Friday night kicked off proceedings. To be honest I wasn’t particularly excited about this game as I expected a whitewash. New Zealand had appeared to have given themselves no chance of victory by fielding a team that seemed decimated by either injury or forgetting who their high profile players are. As it turns out the New Zealand coach and selectors know far more than I do. The new look Kiwi side made the Australians fight tooth and nail for victory. The polish of the Aussie team won through in the end, but what an effort from the men in black. If nothing else the game has shown that the Kiwis have a bit of depth, handy of course for covering injuries, but also keeps players on notice that they need to perform to hang onto their National Jersey.

The under 20’s Origin game is one I always look forward to. As a Blues fan it seems to be the only chance to cheer a NSW team to victory. It also provides a good opportunity to see the players other teams fans are touting as the next big thing all in one game. The Blues won and I smiled.

Following on from the 20’s game was a fixture no one supposedly gave a hoot about. As the coverage on FOX began it became pretty clear that 9000 or so had braved the icy conditions at the foot of the mountains. As the cameras panned the crowd you could see they looked pretty pumped. They gave a hoot about something. Not long after the players moved out onto the ground. They lined up as expected for the formalities. After a minutes silence the Fiji national anthem was played. The players to a man could be seen belting out their National song with such pride and joy. The Samoan anthem was met with the same passion by both players and crowd. Even as a spectator at home I could feel the atmosphere, I was wishing I had braved the cold and gone to the game. There was more to come, the Fijians formed a huddle and sang a hymn. It was beautiful, such pride, passion and most of all joy. It was a truly moving experience. It seemed many hoots were given. The finale was the Samoan team performing the Manu Siva Tau. Everybody loves a good war dance. The cameras once more panned the crowd, 9000 hoots could be clearly seen. The game itself was a cracker, with no quarter asked or given. It had everything you could ask for in a game of footy. Brutal defence, scintillating line breaks & tries and effort by both sides until the siren sounded. Fiji were unlucky to lose their playmaker midway through the game, but they were tenacious till the end.

azh5.jpg


The final game of the weekend was the much maligned City Country clash. I think in the city football is taken for granted, so this fixture isn’t treated with the respect it deserves. A crowd comprising just under one third of the host cities population turned out in the cold to watch the game. That is the equivalent of 1.3 million people turning up at Homebush to watch an Origin game. Irrelevant my arse. The players also gave no hint that the game had no meaning, they battled it out for the full eighty minutes to a 26 all draw in a high quality contest. The opportunity for players that are unlikely to make it to the Origin or Test arena cannot be understated. The chance to have the representative experience can only be a positive thing for player development. The chance for people in Rugby Leagues largest nursery to see Jamal Idris at his rampaging best or the aerial feats of Daniel Tupou is icing on the cake.

The only thing I would like to see at next years Rep Weekend is more games. If we could get the English & French on board along with PNG and some more Island nations it would be epic. The naysayers are a bunch of dopey kents.

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745 words according to the owc

Picture source the LU game thread for the Pacific test. Photo by ChrisD.
 
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DB

First Grade
Messages
6,400
DB takes the field for the first time for the Bluebags.

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International Rugby League: I Care

“I couldn’t care two hoots about Samoa and Fiji. Who wants to really sit down and watch that game?” Paul Kent, 2014.

These were the words from a man that has since been called ‘Another Donald Sterling’ from some section of the Rugby League fraternity. But is he racist? No Way. He was merely conveying a point that it seems such a disruption in an NRL season, which started off worse than anticipated, but had started to find its feet, especially over the Easter and ANZAC weekends.

Paul Kent may not care for this game, but I do. I am currently writing this article at 8.25pm on a Saturday night. The game is nearing the completion of the first half, and Fiji’s leading. From watching the game so far, I am not the only one that cares. All 17 players, numerous coaching staff, and 9 odd thousand people at Centrebet Stadium also care. Reading through Twitter, many jokes have already gone through my timeline comparing this crowd to a Panthers match crowd.

Do people still care?

The amount of flags being waved around the stadium, the amount of face paint I see in the nations colours, the amount of families that are there. That is what Rugby League is about. It’s about the heartlands, like the Penrith’s, The Leichhardt’s, the working classes where Rugby League was born.

Will International Rugby League ever draw a crowd like a Bledisloe Cup, or a Friendly Match like Manchester United vs. The Hyundai A-League All-Stars? More often than not, no. 25,429 turned up on Friday night to watch the best two teams in the world play. But that’s not to say, if this game was played at Centrebet Stadium, with Samoa vs. Fiji as a curtain raiser, they would have easily had the capacity in the stadium.

Mick Cronin recently on radio hit back at the ‘City-Country’ Haters, by saying that this game was more of a thank you to the Country. It is a thank you to all the mums and dads driving their children, sometimes for quite a few hours to play a game that they love. Shouldn’t we be doing this for the Islander Nations as well? Don’t we owe it in ourselves to ‘thank’ the players in our game that make this game our favourite. These games are a reward for the amount of hardwork that gets put into a sporting career. With the increasing abundance of Islander players in the game, from NRL to Grassroots, this should be the dream for many players, to play for their home country.

You try telling all 34 players on that field on Saturday night that that game meant nothing. The winner of this game won the right to play New Zealand, England and Australia in the end of year Four Nations tournament. But this was more than that. This was a game for their homeland. For their heritage. One amazing difference I saw before the kick-off, was each side’s cultural pre-match routines. Samoa performed their Haka, Manu Siva Tau, signaling their intentions to ‘go to war.’ Fiji meanwhile get in a huddle, players and coaching staff and perform This Is My Prayer, a traditional worship song in Fiji, which might I add one of the best things I have ever seen on a rugby league field. The passion that both sets of players could be felt around the ground, and also through the television screens, and this makes it for an even better match for the general Public.

League is the working mans game. It is a game of tribalism. Rugby League, in terms of club football has lost a lot of its identity. Gone are the days where most players are one club players. Rightly so, players look out for themselves and if they can get a better deal from elsewhere, they have every right to take it. But this is why International League is so important. The game may not matter to Paul Kent, but by the look on both Ashton and Korbin Sims in the huddle singing ‘This is my Prayer’, I think it means something to them, and to me.

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699 in owc
 

Bubbles

Juniors
Messages
416
Bubbles on for Souths
__________________________________

Care-less

Friday night rocks around again, as it's inclined to do on a weekly basis and I'm huddled under five layers of clothing. The heater whirs to life emitting a stream of hot air, too far away to thaw my extremities straight off, but the promise of warmth in the not too distant future bringing a smile to my lips.


Eagerly I turn on the television, anticipating the moment it begins, the journey I'm about to be taken on, the hits, the stars. I have been looking forward to this all week, a big event for a chilly night in. And so it begins and immediately I am rooted to the couch. Twelve Angry Men, a triumph in cinematic storytelling, acting and all the other things that go in to moulding a masterpiece.


This is my level of interest in the Tran-Tasman Test match between the Kangaroos and the Kiwis, less than indifferent.


Saturday night and the weather in the Blue Mountains has taken a turn for the worse. Outside it's a balmy 2.4 degrees with a wind chill factor of -3.7 degrees. Needless to say, the heater is blissful comfort against the wintry conditions as I take up my position on the couch. I'm anticipating more brilliance and Al Pacino's mercurial performance in Scent of a Woman doesn't let me down.


Much like the weather, this is the extent of my interest in the Fiji versus Samoa test match, less than zero.


Sunday afternoon, lazy Sunday, my favourite day of the week. It's gone from really cold, to fricking freezing. My husband and I, stubborn and determined barbeque'ers that we are, huddle around the cover, closed against the Arctic wind that seems determined to quell the flames beneath the sizzling sausages.


This is our combined interest in the City v Country game that was unfolding behind the blank screen of our television set.


Three games, three misses for loyal and faithful servants of the game of Rugby League. I'm not proud believe me, and I can all but hear the outraged cries of “Not a true League supporter” and “Burn her at the stake” echoing across the forums, but I figure that if these matches didn't tickle the fancy of avid fans, they were hardly likely to ignite the flames of passion for the game in casual or new viewers.


For me personally, I am unashamedly a Sydney Roosters fan above all else. Not having a Chooks game to watch for the two bye weekends per season is painful enough. To not have any NRL games to watch, even if it's simply to gauge the progress and skills of our enemies, all fifteen of them, is unbearable. During any given round of the Rugby League season proper I watch between six to eight games, depending on personal and social commitments. This last weekend I watched none of the three games on offer. I have watched every previous test match, rep game the sport has had to offer me in past years, but not this time around.


So, what's different this time around, why the disinterest in otherwise stalwart fan/s? Well I think it's safe to say that this stand-alone weekend crap is just that, crap. As League fans, our passion is primal and tribal. We want to see the boys who play this great game donning colours that instil either love or hatred; there is no comfortable middle ground. I could find no great foe, no villain for the piece this weekend at all. At least when these games are tucked within the NRL schedule, we can get our hate on during other games and then treat these 'others' as the cherry on top of a smorgasbord of League viewing.


But no, once again the almighty dollar has spoken in our game, the commitments made under television broadcast contracts locking the fans out of the game they adore. And I hear this same schedule has been locked in for another three years. For me this means only one thing, next year it'll be some classic Bogart for the first, vintage De Niro in Taxi Driver for the second and then some spicy butterflied chicken breasts for the third. Perhaps one day the powers that be may allow the voices of the fans to drown out those of the television moguls, but then again, perhaps hell will freeze over. Actually, up here in the mountains that could happen within the next few months, so all hope is not lost!
____________________________
Word count: 750 on the dot!
 

Monk

Referee
Messages
21,347
Remember that time I forgot to name the Souths team?

Monk
Bubbles
soc123_au
byrne_rovelli_fan
Marshall Magic
 
Messages
14,028
MM For Souths

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He's baaaaaack

Every once in a while us Rugby League fans see a marquee player trot off to a rival code. The Kents in the media really want us to believe the code is dying and that the Buzz around the greatest game of all is dying, and it will never be able to come Bec. Yet the die hard fan in all of us know that when the big name leaves, the real question is not how they will do in another game, but instead when will they come back.

We saw Wendell Sailor cross to union, got no ball so he had to find a different way to cure his nospam29, and after that did not work out for him, he went with the traditional cure and came back to League. He lasted close to a decade in Union, and racked up a lot of accomplishments over there.

We also saw Matty Rogers make the switch. Rogers from a proud League family, rocked the Rugby League world, and like Sailor, achieved a lot in Rugby Union before shifting back not long after his father Steve "sludge" Rogers passed away (in no way am I implying there was correlation between these two events). There was a big sense of coming home when Matty returned.

Possibly the biggest signature the ARU secured was that of Lote Tuqiri, who spent about a decade in the 15 man game. He was probably the most successful code jumper this side of the Sydney Olympics, and was a staple in the Wallabies side for many years. He eventually came back to League and after breaking records in Rugby, started breaking down with the Tigers and shifted off to Souths. He is one who Rugby got the best years from, but he did come home.

Another one on the list of big name code jumpers is Timana Tahu, who very publicly left the Eels to join the Waratahs. Seen as one of the most damaging ball runners in the world, this was a huge pick up for Rugby, but Tahu could not emulate his form in the fifteen man game and departed so quickly you'd think an immortal made a racist remark about an opposition player.

Then in 2009 we saw a different phenomenon. We saw Karmichael Hunt join the Gold Coast Suns in one of the most baffling moves in code jumping history. If nothing else it was believed to answer the age long question, do only soft hunts play AFL? After a few years of being solid if unspectacular, a switch back is potentially on the cards for Hunt in the coming years, although he seems to be so far off the radar of many league personalities that you have to wonder how under the radar his return may be.

Another who made an even less successful switch to Aussie Rules is Israel Folau. Signing a lucrative deal, his move was so poor that after a year he wanted out. Some sources claim his performance to be the worst season ever by an AFL player. He was all ready to join a team who had just had a season on par with Israel's season in the AFL, when the deal fell through and he took up Rugby. He's been a big hit there, but I don't think we can close the door on seeing Folau back in the NRL.

The last high profile switch we've seen in recent years is that of Benji Marshall. A guy who could dazzle the best and most solid defences. If you blinked, you would miss something incredible that this guy would do. Well he performed his greatest play of all, when in 2013 he signed with the Auckland Blues. In April of the following year, he was ready to come back. Does this surprise you? Maybe. Or maybe not. Well if you blinked and missed it you could be forgiven.

With other notables leaving the game and coming back again such as Gasnier (FIRE UP) and Sonny Bill Williams (OMG) I think it is safe to say that when we lose a big name, no matter how loud the Bulldogs in the media want to bark, Hooper and holla, you can bet that we will see them back at some point in the future and that is as safe a bet as backing a penalty goal as first scoring play.

On a completely unrelated note, nothing rhymes with Massoud.
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744 between the lines
 

Monk

Referee
Messages
21,347
Pressure

“The ratio of force to the area over which that force is distributed”

I bet all you nerdy folk are getting all excited thinking that this article is going to fulfil your intellectual cravings, oh how you’ve desired an article outlining all the different types of pressure:

- Fluid Pressures
- Negative Pressures
- Vapour Pressures

Yeah? You like that you dirty little science geek. The list goes on and on too... but we don’t have time for that, keep your suspenders on.

While you may be wondering what the point of my article may be, I can assure you it’s probably the most important piece of mathematics I have come up with while playing Flappy Bird and sitting on the toilet. Not that you needed to know that. But enough of the rambling, let’s get nerdy.

Here are the basics of what you need to know. Any rookie out there can tell you that P=F/A, heck I was able to pull it out of my ass and make it the first line of the article. But what science doesn't tell you is that Rugby League has equivalent qualities to those which are found in every-day equations.

In your nerdy world, Pressure might equal Force divided by area, but in our world. The Rugby League World, we have a whole new equation.

Pressure performance = Freddy Number / Actual Football Skill.

Where:
- P = Pressure performance is how a player reacts to pressure when it is placed upon them at any given point during a game. (Higher = Better)
- F = Freddy Number is the value each player obtains which is a comparison to the great man himself.
- A = Actual Football Skill is another variable (between 1 and 10) which changes depending on the player in question. In this case, lower is better. (That is, 1 is better than 10)

I know what is going through your head right now, “But sir, how do I work out the Freddy Number for a player of my choosing?” Let me show you.

It is widely known in the scientific community that F = ma. Now, if we perform the appropriate adjustments to cater for equivalent qualities we obtain the following equation.

Freddy Number = Matches with dominance x aren't currently playing for Souths

Where:
- F (see above).
- m = matches with dominance is the amount of matches a player has where they have displayed dominance over the opposition team.
- a = aren’t currently playing for Souths. Enter 1 for non-souths players, 0 for players currently contacted to Souths.

Now I know you are likely expressing some hesitance with this formula, so I thought I’d throw in a few worked examples to help you along.

Example 1 – Brad Fittler

P=F/A (F=ma so we make a substitution)
P=ma/A

Now, to find Freddy’s P we substitute what we know:
m = 336 (because he played 336 first grade games, and is the greatest of all time)
a = 1 (because he does not play for Souths)
A = 1 (because he’s the greatest of all time)

P = (336 x 1)/1
P = 336

Thus, Freddy’s Freddy Number is 336. Which is understandable because he is God.

Example 2 – Sam Burgess

P=ma/A

By substituting what we know we find the following:
m = 70-5 (only NRL games count, don’t kid yourself, he’s had at least 5 rubbish games)
a = 0 (plays for Souths)
A = 2.5 (is a decent player)

P = (65x0)/2.5
P = 0

Thus, you can see that because Sam Burgess plays for Souths; he will always cave under pressure and be unable to perform for his team when it counts.

Example 3 - Cheyse Blair

P = (32-31x1)/9.5
P = 0.105

As you can see, having Mr Blair as part of your squad is not an ideal scenario, however it can be seen that his result is not 0, which means he is more useful than a Souths player.

Now that I’ve thoroughly convinced you that this is a flawless equation which will produce accurate results 100% of the time, let’s think about cases where this could be used. Who could get extraordinary use out of this magical piece of mathematics? That’s right, Mr Daley could field a team filled with the most pressure-resistant players, and the best thing about it all is that it will contain no Souths nuffies like Nathan Merritt.
 
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Drew-Sta

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
24,567
4v4, right? Not idea, but at least a contest. We'll claim Danish and byrne_rovelli both lost their keyboards :sarcasm:
 

Bubbles

Juniors
Messages
416
At least it's 4 v 4 and not a win/loss by default. Great reads, good luck everyone! Oh and I think I heard something about a spate of keyboard robberies - apparently it's an epidemic!!
 
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RABBITOHS 343

Soc123_au - Dopey Kents
Good to see pride back in the game. Popular topic this week.
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A different perspective to most. Written well. Two points removed through Word Count penalty (I found it at 752)
87-2
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Marshall_Magic - He's Baaaaaack
I counted the a's. I like this one, well thought out.
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Monk - Pressure
How is this 725 words? Seems like an eternity. Thought out well. Unique. Very unique.
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