It is prayer time at the Lakemba mosque. All is silent as the faithful kneel toward Mecca. Suddenly a mobile phone rings - and in terror all flee into the street in fear that one of them recently got a new mobile from Osama. Their fears abate as they realise it's the only Muslim phone that Muhammad didn't pack holy gelignite into, and probably the only one he should have.
"Yo Bro!"
Carakling down the line is a familiar voice, and the conversation unfolds
SBW "Ets Senny. Senny Bull's enjured"
MUNDINE "What bro? Sonny Bills injured?"
SBW "Senny Bull's enjured?"
MUNDINE "Is he? Whose calling please? That you Danny? Listen mate, it's a bad time for phone sex"
SBW "Hey, it's me. Senny Bull"
MUNDINE "Hey Bro! What's going down?"
SBW "Khoder's not here. Senny Bull's hurt"
MUNDINE "Don't worry, bro. Khoder wouldn't cheat on you"
SBW "No, no, no. Senny Bull's enjured. En a Teckle"
MUNDINE "You playing League again?"
SBW "No, still pleying Regby for Toloun"
MUNDINE "But I though you said you were injured in a tacke?"
SBW "Yeah, we dudn't see thet heppening, dud we!"
MUNDINE "So, you OK"
SBW "Senny Bull broke hes sternum. Senny Bull will muss three metches"
MUNDINE "Only three matches"
SBW "Yeah, you cen stull play Regby with unjuries. Jest cent do enything strenuous, like folding the weshing or tecking the garbage out"
MUNDINE "So what can da man do, bro?"
SBW "I need you to fend me enether jub"
MUNDINE "Can't think of anything, maybe netball"
SBW "Niball? Thet's tougher then Regby!!!!!"
MUNDINE "Hang on, bro, you ain't chicking out of Rugby are you?"
SBW "Weel, Senny Bull hesent welched on a contruct for sux weeks. Senny Bull's stucking up for whet he believes un. Senny Bull's got balls"
MUNDINE "Yes, and it would have been more pleaseant if you washed them! So, what do you want to do?
SBW "Senny Bull wentes to be a Bes Driver"
MUNDINE? "A bus driver?"
SBW "Yes. Senny Bull wants to drive a bes"
MUNDINE "What soet of bus?"
SBW "A nice bug rid one!"
MUNDINE "A red one? Like to London buses?"
SBW "YES! SENNY BULL WANTS TO DRIVE A LONDON BES"
MUNDINE "But you can get injured driving a bus. What if you got your hand caught in the door? You'd get injured again, bro. Are you that stupid???"
The reply is a soft wimper, followed by gentle sobbing....
MUNDINE "Hey bro, it's cool. The man didn't mean to hurt you. Tell you what, I'll get Khoda to get you a job driving a London Bus"
SBW "You rully mean thet?"
MUNDINE "Yeah sure. theres one catch, bro"
SBW "What's that?"
MUNDINE "If Khoda gives you a drum of diesel, some fertiliser and a free mobile phone, drive straight to Piccadilly Circus, and wait for his call, ok?"
