ozbash
Referee
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The Press takes a lighthearted look at 10 reasons not to lose to the Wallabies.
1. John O'Neill. Remember the smug look on the Australian Rugby Union chief executive's face when the All Blacks have been beaten in the past? Then imagine his double fist-pumps, the flailing green and gold scarf and his teeth clacking with joy if they do it again.
2. History. 1934, 1949, 1979, 1980, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1998-2002. In those grim years, the Bledisloe Cup went west. Why would we fancy another dose of that heartache?
3. Aussiemania: Aussie, Aussie, Aussie Oi! Oi! Oi!, Waltzing Matilda and Advance Australia Fair are classic hits chanted and sung by our oh-so-modest Anzac cousins. Expect plenty more of it if they lower the All Blacks' colours in Sydney tonight.
4. The Aussie TV commentators. Biased, patronising and, at times, unhinged. And that is just the New Zealand Sky commentary team. If you think Murray Mexted and friends are bad, then tune into what former Wallabies Phil Kearns and Greg Martin have to offer on Fox Sports.
5. Bar banter. Snuggle up to a beer-guzzling, loose-lipped Australian and wallow in the Ocker Shocker culture for 80 minutes. Then see if you still want to cheer on the Wallabies.
6. Inflatable animals. The Aussies have kangaroos. They wave them a lot at TV cameras. It's tedious and boring. A win over the All Blacks will just encourage such antics.
7. Four more years. Surely one of the most famous taunts offered by a Wallaby player to the All Blacks. George Gregan may be gone but the barb still sticks especially now Robbie Deans will be charge of the Aussies for another four years.
8. Thieves. Stealing Robbie Deans is just the tip of the iceberg. The Australians will soon be claiming him as born and bred in the Lucky Country. Just like they did with Rusty Crowe, Phar Lap, Split Enz, Dragon and Scott Dixon (to name a few).
9. Lame jokes: Our sheep population may be plummeting, but our cousins across the Tazzie still get all worked up over gags about the woolly herbivores and Kiwis. Give us a break.
10. Brash: Australians do not do humility well. OK, it's fine to be confident but that lot go overboard on this number. If the Wallabies win, hunker down and prepare for the worst.
The Press - ChCh
1. John O'Neill. Remember the smug look on the Australian Rugby Union chief executive's face when the All Blacks have been beaten in the past? Then imagine his double fist-pumps, the flailing green and gold scarf and his teeth clacking with joy if they do it again.
2. History. 1934, 1949, 1979, 1980, 1986, 1992, 1994, 1998-2002. In those grim years, the Bledisloe Cup went west. Why would we fancy another dose of that heartache?
3. Aussiemania: Aussie, Aussie, Aussie Oi! Oi! Oi!, Waltzing Matilda and Advance Australia Fair are classic hits chanted and sung by our oh-so-modest Anzac cousins. Expect plenty more of it if they lower the All Blacks' colours in Sydney tonight.
4. The Aussie TV commentators. Biased, patronising and, at times, unhinged. And that is just the New Zealand Sky commentary team. If you think Murray Mexted and friends are bad, then tune into what former Wallabies Phil Kearns and Greg Martin have to offer on Fox Sports.
5. Bar banter. Snuggle up to a beer-guzzling, loose-lipped Australian and wallow in the Ocker Shocker culture for 80 minutes. Then see if you still want to cheer on the Wallabies.
6. Inflatable animals. The Aussies have kangaroos. They wave them a lot at TV cameras. It's tedious and boring. A win over the All Blacks will just encourage such antics.
7. Four more years. Surely one of the most famous taunts offered by a Wallaby player to the All Blacks. George Gregan may be gone but the barb still sticks especially now Robbie Deans will be charge of the Aussies for another four years.
8. Thieves. Stealing Robbie Deans is just the tip of the iceberg. The Australians will soon be claiming him as born and bred in the Lucky Country. Just like they did with Rusty Crowe, Phar Lap, Split Enz, Dragon and Scott Dixon (to name a few).
9. Lame jokes: Our sheep population may be plummeting, but our cousins across the Tazzie still get all worked up over gags about the woolly herbivores and Kiwis. Give us a break.
10. Brash: Australians do not do humility well. OK, it's fine to be confident but that lot go overboard on this number. If the Wallabies win, hunker down and prepare for the worst.
The Press - ChCh
