2011 FINALS - Major Semi Final: Panthers -V- Bluebags

[Jesbass]

2011 Finals Series: Major Semi Final​

Penrith Panthers (1) -V- Newtown Bluebags (2)​

-V-

Game Thread:

* This is a game thread only. Only game posts can be made here - team lists, substitutions, and articles.
* Any other posts may result in loss of points and is at the discretion of the referee.
* Only original articles, not used in previous games, will be marked by referees.

Naming Teams:
* 5 -V- 5 (+ 3 reserves for both teams)
* No 'TBA' or changing players named
* Captains must stick with original teams named

Rules: http://f7s.leagueunlimited.com/rules.php
Official Word Counter: http://f7s.leagueunlimited.com/wordcount.php

Kick Off: Sunday 4th September 2011 (2100AEST)
Full Time: Wednesday 14th September 2011 (2100AEST)
Referee: Jesbass
Venue: The Front Row Stadium

Previous Matchups This Season:
Bluebags 453 v Panthers 453 (Round 1)
Panthers 436 v Bluebags 432 (Round 6)

Winner goes straight to the Grand Final.
Loser plays the Preliminary Final against the winner of the Minor Semi Final.​

 

[madunit]

madunit for Panthers

Now that’s a controversial fight

In the first twenty years of Rugby League’s existence, there had been some insanely erratic decisions regarding player suspensions and the like for their discrepancies and misbehaviour.

In 1917, Glebe’s Dan Davies played a game against Annandale which Glebe won. Glebe attempted to lie about his place of residence but a complaint by Annandale, who Davies should have been playing for according to the residential rule at the time, saw Glebe stripped of their two competition points for the win against Annandale.

The NSWRL suspended Davies indefinitely, as this was the first intentional breach of the residential rule they had to determine a penalty for Glebe’s and Davies’ deception. In a later game that year, three Glebe players were dubiously suspended. The NSWRL penalised Glebe by moving their top of the table match against neighbouring rivals Balmain, from the Sports Ground, where gate takings would be very high, to the significantly smaller Birchgrove Oval.

Incensed by the decision, Glebe’s first grade team went on strike. Balmain flogged Glebe’s second string side and the NSWRL suspended all the Glebe players until 1918. Dan Davies, for his earlier indiscretion, was banned for life.

Davies returned to his hometown Newcastle and started playing again. When the NSWRL found out, they banned nearly all the Newcastle competitions’ players and administrators for life. A decision they reversed when a rebel code in Newcastle began shortly after.

In 1923, one of the fairest players of the game, Duncan Thompson, was charged with kicking a player in the face. Spectators and media sided with Thompson. But despite never being involved in any unsportsmanlike behaviour previously, the NSWRL suspended him for the rest of the year. After appealing the charge the NSWRL shortened the suspension. Thompson dissatisfied and insulted, left Sydney and moved to Toowoomba, never playing in Sydney again.

Then there’s the flip side.

August 11, 1928 – the equal first St.George took on the equal last Balmain in a spirited encounter at Arncliffe’s Earl Park.

From midway through the first half the game was littered with spiteful clashes, scuffles, foul play and cheap shots. An alleged elbow by St.George forward George Carstairs broke Balmain’s Tony Russell’s’ nose midway through the first half.

Referee Mick Brannaghan did nothing.

In a scrum late in the first half, St.George’s Arnold Traynor reeled out of a scrum with blood freely flowing from his nose.

During the second half, Russell kicked Carstairs in the face while the latter was picking himself up from a tackle to play the ball.

Referee Mick Brannaghan did nothing.

Later, a scuffle between two players saw Harry Flower from St.George intervene to help out his team mate. Surprisingly, after much serious incidents had lead to cautions or no action at all, Flower was sent off.
The crowd went from frustrated to furious.

With five minutes remaining in the game, Russell again kicked Carstairs in the head knocking him unconscious, this time nowhere near the action.
Former Test player turned touch judge, Charlie Hedley, ran onto the field to inform the referee of the incident.

Referee Mick Brannaghan did nothing.

The crowd was incensed, yelling out “We want Russell!”

As fulltime sounded an end to the atrocious play, Balmain’s George Bishop set after Traynor.

St.George coach, Frank Burge and Secretary Reg Fusedale ran onto the field to assist the unconscious Carstairs.

The crowd had seen enough and they spilled onto the ground, practically following Burge and Fusedale. Some spectators ripped off fence palings and made a bee-line for Russell. There was even one spectator allegedly seen with an axe!

Police at the scene, used batons, handcuffs and their fists to rescue Russell and rush him to the dressing room.

He was then taken to an ambulance suffering injuries to his face, back, ribs, arms and legs. He allegedly met a revived Carstairs and they began fighting before the ambulance driver intervened.

The NSWRL announced a full inquiry into how the riot happened and what penalties needed to be delivered. In the most confusing decision yet, the NSWRL blamed the fans for the riot and no reason to punish any of the players.

Russell declared he accidentally kicked Carstairs with the side of his boot as he stepped over him, while Carstairs, unsurprisingly, couldn’t remember what happened.

After that day of violence and rioting, the most amazing words came from the seemingly oblivious official, Mick Brannaghan.

"It was one of the cleanest games I’ve ever refereed."

747 words, including title in OWC

Sources
Sydney Morning Herald
The Brisbane Courier
The Encyclopedia Of Rugby League Players by Alan Whiticker and Glen Hudson
Rugby League Through The Decades by Ian Collis and Alan Whiticker
www.rugbyleagueproject.org

 

[Big Mick]

Panthers team for the Major Semi-Final:

1. Madunit
2. Azkatro
3. Leaguenut
4. Big Mick
5. Broncoman

RES:
6. Didgi
7. Goleel

 

[Willow]

The Bluebags bus has arrived by steam power to this mighty event against competition's minor premiers.

BLUEBAGS TEAM - MAJOR SEMI-FINAL, 2011



Drew-sta (c)
muzby
Timmah
AlwaysGreen
Willow (vc)

Bench:
Rexxy
JoeD

Good luck one and all. :thumn

 

[Azkatro]

Azkatro for the Panthers.

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Gallop’s Law

Terrorism.

It’s a word that strikes fear into the heart of ordinary men, a word that invokes memories and visions of horrendous human acts.

It also grips the core of your humanity when you witness the stories behind innocent victims and the heroes that emerge. I’ve lost count of the number of times I have watched news reports of a terrorist act and caught that fleeting glimpse of an innocent civilian weeping in sorrow in the wake of a terrible, inhumane tragedy.

Sometimes that split second catches you off-guard. You contemplate your own mother, wracked with blood and shrapnel wounds, trying to come to grips with the reality that she just witnessed her child’s life destroyed before her very eyes. And for what reason?

Terrorism.

I’m not sure what the precise definition of the word is, but I do know that it's pretty nasty stuff.

So I was stunned when the CEO of the National Rugby League of 9 years, David Gallop, made a reference to that very subject while being quizzed on the behaviour of Melbourne Storm supporters last Sunday night.

“I never really go for that whole passion line,” he said.

“I mean, terrorists are passionate about what they do and um, you know, [chuckle], that doesn’t make it right.”

Fair enough comments, too. Especially when you recall the way those Melbourne supporters behaved. As we all know, Gallop was lucky to survive that bomb which detonated as his body double returned to his car, killing over a dozen people.

Wait – no, sorry – that didn’t actually happen! But you'd be forgiven for assuming so if you heard Gallop’s comments but not what they were in response to.

No, there were no car bombs. No suicide bombers. No plane hijackings.

Gallop was booed by supporters of the Melbourne Storm while he made a speech during the team’s presentation of the J.J. Giltinan Shield.

Now I’m personally not a Melbourne supporter by any stretch of the imagination. But I do understand that this is the fourth time Gallop has presented them with the prestigious shield. The cynical section of the faithful crowd was no doubt wondering if this one would get taken away from them too.

Maybe they were wrong to boo him so vociferously. After all, Gallop was justified in stripping the Storm of their three minor premierships and two premierships last year for absolutely outrageous salary cap indiscretions. What else can you do to a team that cheated to win the big prize?

But really, at what stage did Gallop think to himself that those very supporters who booed him with the kind of fervour their team’s coach is capable of (Craig Bellamy, who gives new meaning to the word “spray&#8221 were to be in any way compared with terrorists?

You know, those bad guys I mentioned earlier. The ones that blow things up and kill people, evoking the gut-wrenching image of the wounded mother grieving over her deceased child.

Was David Gallop recalling the harrowing sights of innocent victims leaping from the burning ruins of the World Trade Centre, images which had been revisited for at least a week leading up to Melbourne’s acceptance of the minor premiership? That little thing called the 10th anniversary of the most infamous terrorist attack in history?

Not at all. No chance. No way was he looking at the hooting and hollering and thinking that those very people were capable of terrorist-like behaviour. I mean, maybe there’s a minuscule chance he felt he was being “terrorised”, a slightly different use of the word which implies intimidation. And one way to define terrorism is to call it “the act of terrorising”. But that’s a long shot.

No, I think David Gallop was just really, really pissed off. He stewed over it for 24 hours and then he proceeded to perform the equivalent of losing a debate in the most spectacular way possible – by evoking what’s known as Godwin’s Law (“As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1&#8221.

This, however, is a new take on Godwin’s law. Hitler references are like, so 20th century. The new age Nazi is the terrorist.

So I would like to take this opportunity to formulate a new law, derived from Godwin’s Rule of Nazi Analogies. I call it Gallop’s Law.

It states “As a sports administrator is continuously and recklessly heckled, the probability of them comparing the perpetrators to terrorists approaches 1”.

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747 words. Liftoff!

 

[broncoman]

broncoman
#5 Panthers

A Eulogy for the Rugby League Player

Today we gather to celebrate the life and history of the Rugby League player. Born January 9, 1908 in a quiet Sydney town hall, the Rugby League player lived a long and happy life, he thrilled millions for over a century and was there for anyone who needed him in the cold winter months almost without fail. Unfortunately it has become time that the Rugby League player has been replaced by the Athlete. With the retirement of Darren Lockyer, the last true Rugby League player is gone. Skills replaced by strength and touch replaced by speed. The Rugby League player is dead.

Born into poverty early into the 1900's he was abandoned by his evil parents Rugby Union, Dally Messenger was the first of what we will call a pioneer of the game. He didn't weigh 110 kilos and he certainly didn't look to offload in traffic at any given opportunity, but what he did do was pass, kick and run rings around players with natural ability. This pioneer didn't develop his skills and game in the gym or with eight training sessions a week, he was a part time footballer with a job. Messenger like many players of the time had the smarts on and off the field.
Decades and decades went by; some great teams graced our fields and even by the Seventies the game was still dominated by the Rugby League player. Two contrasting players that we all remember when we think of it are Arthur Beetson and Bob Fulton. Beetson was a mountain of a man but had the skills that the modern day forward could only dream of; he was like Shane Webcke, but just a lot better. Bob Fulton will go down as one of the greatest players of all time; he didn't need flick passes, no look passes or even fluoro yellow boots to make his point on the paddock. Fulton's on field vision was second to none and he had the ability to put players into almost non-existent gaps. His knowledge was later utilised as a premiership and international winning coach in which he just confirmed his status as the ultimate Rugby League Player.

With the retirement of Darren Lockyer we look to our new generation of stars, a number stand out as potentially taking over the tag as the games top dog. Jarryd Hayne for one, fine player with good skills, isn't quite sure where his best position is and most of the time his play is manufactured and not a lot of thought has gone into it. Greg Inglis, naturally talented but is a genuine athlete rather than a Rugby League player. Could probably excel at any number of a dozen sports but due to fitness concerns he'd most likely never get to the top of any of them. What we remember the League player for is his consistency, he'd never let us down and his natural talent and ability would mean he could always be relied upon. At the forefront of the modern day athlete is Sonny Bill Williams, a monster of a bloke who had the world at his feet but threw it away. He may well still come back and take over the tag of the best player in the game but he can never have the tag of the best Rugby League player.

You know what? Jesus (allegedly) rose from the dead so I'm not discounting Rugby League player doing it too. There are a couple of guys who have the ability to do this; Shaun Fensom is top of my list. He plays with heart and guts, he is young but leads his struggling team by tackling anything that moves and plays out the entire match regardless of the score. One other bloke with skills to die for is Kieran Foran, a superstar in the making that clearly spends more time practising his passing than working in his biceps or abs. Foran is a throwback to the Langer and Stuart days.

We can all be happy that we had the League Player in our lives and that while we can still enjoy his legacy we acknowledge the game will never be the same. He was a gentleman, a pioneer and most of all a mate. He loved a beer, not Gatorade, his favourite meal was a pie, not pasta, I think I speak for everyone here today to say thanks to the Rugby League player.

R.I.P

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749 words above the line

 

[LeagueNut]

LeagueNut (Panthers)

Forum Stevens

The Washington Post “Style Invitational” section runs a regular contest where readers are asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, deleting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

It’s probably a reasonable guess that the fine folk at the Washington Post wouldn’t know a great deal about Rugby League, so instead of wasting my time with them I will submit my own offerings directly to the Forum Sevens community. Let’s see how many of these new words can work their way into the Rugby League fans lexicon…

Rackle: A tackle combined with a wrestle. I predict within a few years the tackle as we know it will be obsolete and we’ll have to get used to referees calling out “LAST RACKLE” every couple of minutes.

Hindmarse: One who is lucky enough to increase and improve their public profile by having their rear end hanging out most of the time. Seriously now, how many of us could get away with that?!?

Match-fuxing: A result so spectacularly bad or unusual that you immediately assume an elaborate conspiracy has been played out to ensure the result went against your team, because there’s no way they could f**k it up that badly by themselves. (And no, this isn’t just a Kiwi way of pronouncing it!)

Deferee: The iron-willed ability of those in unpopular positions to block out the constant verbal abuse that resonates around them every time they’re trying to do their jobs.

Vatuveil: A particular type of headwear worn by sports coaches that renders them oblivious to woefully inadequate performances by certain players. Many supposedly “leading” coaches who wear Vatuveils are regularly accused of favouritism, nepotism or blind stupidity.

Rugby League Weak: A glossy magazine that used to be a wonderful Rugby League resource but has now been superseded by the digital age and constantly tries to reinvent itself with little success.

Salary Crap: The extra loading you add onto your salary to make yourself sound big and successful when discussing your income with others (so clearly this one isn’t restricted to Rugby League!). Bigwigs at the NRL who look into alleged financial breaches estimate that 84% of their inbound intelligence comes from Salary Craps.

Errorist: One who makes throwaway comments that are an equal mix of poor judgement and incredibly bad timing.

Timeslut: Every club has one of these – it’s the person who has to shamelessly promote completely inconvenient kickoff times as the best thing ever in the history of the universe, when really they’re just being rogered by the almighty gods of Television.

Merder: Similar to a “joint venture” or “amalgamation”, a merder is a more accurate way of describing the complete takeover and annihilation of one half of the arrangement.

Harrigun: One who believes without the slightest doubt that he is the best there ever was in his job.

Halftame: Any form of entertainment that induces yawning, general ambivalence or the feeling of wanting to remove your eyeballs with rusty ice-cream scoops and plug your ears with leftover stadium urinal cakes.

Fockyer: Any cursing directed towards an authority figure done in such a quiet voice that it’s barely noticeable.

Hopolatte: A coffee that tastes like shit, usually served by a guy who will punch you in the head for no reason.

Prosto: Slang term for someone who’s probably been in the “game” for too long and is well past their prime but is still everyone’s favourite and is still fondly thought of for past deeds.

Brohmance: Term to describe the unusual and unfortunate attraction some people experience towards the morbidly obese.

Meginga: A medical condition that produces nonsensical and irrational rantings from those who have been exposed to too much red (or maroon).

Baloney: Descriptive term for a hoax “tweet” from someone (who should probably know better) about a key member of your team moving elsewhere next season that causes mass panic and completely sucks in a few gullible media outlets.

Gittler: The token moron on any commentary team whose sole purpose is to pander to the lowest of the lowest common denominators. While many “gittlers” need a lobotomy to accurately perform this task, there will always be those to whom the skills simply come naturally.

Forum Semens: Used to describe a group of people who get far too worked up and flail around wildly over the results of a casual competition that’s strictly played for fun. Maybe they need to learn to stop being so testy…

746 words, fair and true

 

[AlwaysGreen]

AlwaysGreen hoping to be put in an unManu like performance for:


729 words

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The colour Purple (and Maroon)

The competition is going down to the wire. I have no idea who is going to win, however whoever does win should be extremely proud of their achievements this year. The Storm are favourites because of their recent excellence but old stagers Manly cannot be written off – after a few lean years they are back with a vengeance. The dark horse remains the Broncos, strong before the Super League years but a veritable giant after it. Although in my opinion the Lockyer factor will hinder their chances. The rest you can forget.

Before anyone rushes off to put their hard earned on the Storm or Sea Eagles let me clarify by saying I’m not talking about the 2011 NRL premiership, I’m talking about the 2011 Most Hated Team Title (MHTT). It’s been a tough fought competition this year with the Sea Eagles and Storm outdoing each other week after week in their attempts to get even the most placid and reasonable of neutral fans riled by their antics. Heck – these two clubs even hate each other.

The “everyone hates us and we don’t care” attitude has replaced the “flying under the radar” approach as the method of choice of player and fan motivation. Melbourne under Craig Bellamy was always going to use this approach – the revelations of the club’s salary cap indiscretions were always ripe for the talented coach to exploit. Blind Freddy (not the suspected inebriated channel nine commentator) could see that the Melbourne master coach was going to use a siege mentally when it came to season 2011, whilst firing off the occasional pot shot at the NRL.

The booing of the much chagrined David Gallop when he presented the JJ Giltinan to the minor premiers raised the blood pressure of many who thought that the public faces of the Storm, Messieurs Bellamy, Smith, Slater and Cronk, had not been contrite enough in their reactions to the club’s cheating. Yes, the fans were the ones booing, but you couldn’t help but think that Bellamy and company were cheering at those boos. So be it. To paraphrase Bellamy’s much loved line “At the end of the day, winning is what it is all about”.

Manly have a celebrated history of being hated. If the sixties were about free love, then the seventies were about free hate towards the men from the north of Sydney. A whole generation of rugby league fans got to hate the accursed silvertails as they allegedly bought every player from other clubs, every referee and every favour in their golden decade. Even worse than this vulgar display of wealth was the fact that the Manly club seemed to relish being hated. Fans began to support two sides, their own and those that were playing Manly.

Des Hasler came from that era which extended long into the eighties and nineties. A fantastic and innovative coach, Dessy Doorbreaker has seized on the chance of taking his side to the top of the hate parade. His whinging on almost everything related to Manly has been calf blood enhanced first class. Has there ever been a more Manly man than Des? He saw that Manly had gone from public league enemy number one to barely mentioned non event and decided to put a stop to it. Shrewd work because as the hate for the Sea Eagles has returned so has their standing as a constant premiership force.

The biggest challenger for the MHTT outside the “happy to be hated” Sea Eagles and Storm remains perennial hatee Brisbane. The Broncos took over the mantle of MHTT for a long time and revelled in it. A whole host of villains seemed to stride out of Red Hill and their involvement in the Super League outrage had the Broncos branded as many opposition team’s most vilified.

But then along came Darren Lockyer. Locky’s retirement got normally sane supporters thinking about fairytale finishes. So infatuated have fans and the media been about Darren’s last hurrah that the gush they have poured from him has been almost unbearable. Almost hateworthy you might say.

So the race is on for the winner of the 2011 Most Hated Team Title. A trophy has been struck for the winner – The John Ribot Memorial (hint hint) Trophy, fittingly named after the former Manly winger, Brisbane CEO and Melbourne owner. Haters gonna hate.

 

[Timmah]

Timmah's back for the bags to lead us to the Grand Final. Even if it is via the preliminary final

Booooooo!

This week the league media and even Melbourne’s media has been waxing lyrical about David Gallop and his words surrounding the Storm and their passionate fans.

While both sides of the argument yell and scream that they’re in the right and hide behind official statements as time progresses, the error in the ways of both parties is clear and apparent.

For those unacquainted with the events of the past few days, Mr Gallop returned to Melbourne’s AAMI Park for the first time since the NRL handed down its punishments to the Melbourne Storm for their clear and deliberate rorting of the salary cap over a five year period. He was in town to present the J.J. Giltinan Shield and Jetstar NRL Club Championship to the club as the minor premiership winners for 2011.

But that seems to be where the niceties ended. Gallop’s appearance predictably fuelled a passionate, deafening chorus of booing and jeering from the crowd. It reached a crescendo as the CEO stepped to the microphone, mixed with chants of “F*** Gallop!” amongst others.

The following night on Queensland’s Crocradio, our fearless leader was being questioned about the conduct of the fans at the game. While the DJ argued the Storm fans were simply passionately showing their colours, Gallop used an analogy that made nation-wide headlines the following morning – one which he’d later regret.

“I never really go for that whole passion line. I mean, terrorists are passionate about what they do and, you know, that doesn't make it right.”

At first glance, seeing the word ‘terrorist’, it all seems a bit wrong – terrible thing to say, particularly given the timing – this Sunday past being the tenth anniversary of September 11. But when you dig a little deeper, there are valid arguments, surprisingly, for both sides. The first point to be made is that the wider media (quite predictably), took the quote out of context and many who heard it or read it without seeing the full quote were sharing their opinions on Gallop’s words without the full story.

Gallop’s comment in itself isn’t truly offensive. The point he makes with the above quote is entirely true – passion cannot be used as an excuse for poor behaviour. The fact he was in Melbourne to present the Storm with two trophies – just 16 months after taking multiple accolades away from them – is arguably a courageous act in itself. He could have opted to present it to the side at their Round 26 match against the Roosters at the SFS and not even have travelled down the Hume. The way the Storm supporters “welcomed” him seems at odds with the reason he was there.

Switching sides, Storm fans must be furious. As mentioned previously, the timing of a terrorism reference could not have been more off. The other glaring, infuriating point-of-view from those south of the border relates to the fact that Gallop did not interest himself in a trip to Melbourne at any time between the Salary Cap punishment announcements and this landmark event where the Storm were being celebrated for two fantastic achievements. There are arguments for both sides of Gallop’s travel plans – any trip earlier could well have been misinterpreted as a chance for the CEO to “rub it in” to the club and it’s fans, while not making the trip was misinterpreted as cowardice on his behalf.

So where does that leave the blame for this mess? Truthfully, the answer is somewhere in the middle. I’m not going to start going down the track of “Sack Gallop” because that’s not going to achieve anything, and I think most sensible fans of the Melbourne Storm know that. The CEO’s management of the whole affair has been, while difficult, probably a bit misguided. Even if he wasn’t willing to travel south, regular contact with the club in order to prevent the festering of ill-will would’ve gone a long way to abating the poor reception he received on Sunday.

For the Storm fans, a bit of maturity and perspective is perhaps warranted. Their anger and vitriol seems painfully misdirected at an authority figure under pressure to act when their club was found to be breaking the rules. Surely it would be time for Brian Waldron and his comrades to face the music, allowing Storm fans to direct their anger where it truly belongs.

Either way, it seems that it will be a long time before Gallop and the Storm see eye to eye.

 

[Drew-Sta]

Drew-Sta, looking to score, hammers home the advantage and lands the try, putting to bed the Panthers defence. (I count 6!)




Fred scores

Fred: Ughh… ughh… ughh…

Captain Lockyer: Right men, are we ready? We’re about to blow this joint and head for the gold prize. This is my last run, boys, so I’ve got a few words to say.

Trooper Hannant: Sir, permission to speak, sir.

Captain Lockyer: What is it Hannant? You better hurry up. This guy didn’t take his nasal spray so it looks like we’ll be swimming in no time.

Trooper Hannant: Sir, on behalf of everyone in this team, who’s touched this ball, we’d like to acknowledge you contribution to the game, sir.

Captain Lockyer: Thank you, Hannant. I’d like to echo this by congratulating you all on a fine effort. Who’d ever think such a drab looking team could look to score so late in the season. Well done, and..

Fred: Ughh.. ahhh, I think… ahhh –

Captain Lockyer: Ready, steady –

Tiffany: Oh yes! Fred!

Fred: AHHH YEAH!

Captain Lockyer: The whistle is blown! Let’s get down to that other end!

Trooper Hodges: Wooooo hoooooo!! Through the tube we go!

Trooper Yow Yeh: Sir, it looks like we’re coming up to the exit. I’m picking up signs of resistance!

Captain Lockyer: Excellent work Yow Yeh. Trooper Gillett, time to shave through this rubbery defence mechanism!

Trooper Gillett: Slicing now sir! Down the left flank, we have an opening. I must say, poor defence from Ansell there.

Trooper Wallace: It looks like they didn’t read our second man play at all. We’re through now!

Captain Lockyer: Expect attack here men! We’re through another set and it looks like they might fight back here with some heavy defence here. Parker! Fire away in an economical and highly industrious manner!

Trooper Parker: Sir yes sir. I will return an excellent result for you sir.

Captain Lockyer: Beale, slashing attack to the flanks, Copely, support out wide, Hodges, try not to screw your knees up.

Trooper Wallace: Coordinated bombing run sir, high, hard and incredibly difficult to detect with the human eye.

Trooper Parker: Result delivered sir. I have succeeded in withering away the defence and am now breaching the Advantage-Stage.

Captain Lockyer: Excellent work Parker. It appears as though we’re through this second line of defence, onwards to the final goal!

Trooper Wallace: Sir! Approaching cervical barrier of similar substance as the first defensive shield!

Captain Lockyer: Diabolical! Te’o, straight up the middle and give that thing a good rogering!

Trooper Te’o: Sir yes sir. Hard and fast or quick and sharp?

Captain Lockyer: Jackhammer it.

*There are gulps within the team*

Trooper Te’o: Sir, yes sir!

Trooper Wallace: Bombing raid again sir! Apportioned to the left and right wings of the defensive mechanism!

Trooper Gillett: Slicing down the left flank sir!

Captain Lockyer: Excellent work team! I think we’re through!

Trooper Parker: Sir, I believe I see an opening here. It’s small, and it might be a long shot, but I believe I can slot two through from here.

Captain Lockyer: Sounds like a penalty has been granted in our favour! Indeed, this is our finest hour, men. Don’t stop with the attack! Keep on giving it that defence!

Trooper McCullough: Delivering the pill to the engine room sir!

Trooper McGuite: Continuing to hammer at the defensive line sir!

Trooper Parker: Sir! We’re ready to convert this opportunity, who is going with you?

Captain Lockyer: Wallace, accompany me on this suicide mission. We might not return, but as one half of this operation I will require your expertise.

Trooper Wallace: Sir, I would be honoured.

Captain Lockyer: Kick us through Parker!

Trooper Parker: Good luck sir, away you go!

Captain Lockyer: And here we are, in the fabled other land. The goal of what we try for.

Trooper Wallace: Look, sir, the final try line! Its defence is weak! Shall I wiggle my way through and score?

Captain Lockyer: No, Wallace. The last try will be my responsibility. I will score so that you may go on and lead this half of the equation to victory for years to come. You are the captain now, you must guide them through thick and thin, wet or dry.

Trooper Wallace: *sniff* Sir, it’s been an honour and a privilege.

Captain Lockyer: The honour is all mine. I go now to score one last time for the team. I will break through the defence, and spawn a new era of life…

Fred: Oh Darren, that was awesome.

Tiffany: Darren?

 

[Willow]

Willow | Bluebags


Where the real game is played

"You have blokes who will train a couple nights a week, go to work, play on a Saturday or Sunday and then enjoy the whole atmosphere with their mates. That is where you get the real camaraderie. That is what Rugby League is about."
- Slammin' Sam Stewart

Often disparagingly referred to as 'park football' by NRL supporters, the so-called 'lower grade' competitions provide the real backbone to rugby league in Australia and New Zealand.

The A-Grade in particular is sometimes given a rough trot and some even look down on it as the dregs of the game. But truth be known, the A-Grade stands at the very pinnacle of the game's foundations. History backs this up. Without district grade competitions, we would have no game. All the top flight players, coaches, administrators and support staff can thank the grade competitions for providing them with a career path.

But should the success of First Grade see the A-Grade left behind? Of course, the strength of the game resides in how well we promote the apex of the junior and district competitions.

The XXXX Challenge is a state-based Rugby League competition that culminates into a national final. It celebrates the greatness of the A-Grade. The teams come from the combined district sides across the land - the cream of the crop. In 2010, the New South Wales state winner and the Queensland state winner played the national decider as a curtain raiser to the State of Origin. In a high class encounter, lllawarra posted an emphatic 38-12 win over the Gold Coast Vikings.

But the Vikings will be back to mount another challenge, and the task has fallen to coach Sam Stewart.

Stewart has played at every level of the game. A Kiwi international, the second rower played in the Wellington competition up until 1987, representing NZ Māori during this time. From 1985-89, Sam played for his country, representing New Zealand on 17 occasions. He was also captain of New Zealand. In 1988, Sam was signed as captain of the Knights' inaugural side. From 1994-97, he played with London Crusaders and Hull KR before retiring from the field.

Nowadays, like most good Kiwis, Sam lives in Queensland and has become a talent scout for the NZRL. But he knows all too well the importance of the job ahead of him.

This is grand final time, the time of year when the combined district selections begin.

Last weekend, on the Gold Coast, the Bycroft Cup A-Grade grand final was played between the Bilambil Jets and the Tugun Seahawks, the Cup being named after the local Bycroft family who were instrumental in raising the profile of local Rugby League. In a hard fought encounter, the Cup was won by Bilambil to the tune of 34-30 in front of 5000 people at Burleigh's Pizzey Park.

But there's more to this... the lead up to the event received a double spread and colour liftout in the Gold Coast Bulletin, a great promotion for local Rugby League. The Titans may be wooden spooners in the NRL, but the Gold Coast continues to show itself to be a league town at the grass roots level.

It was a perfect day of football, glorious weather, passionate support and easy on the pocket. The curtain raiser was an U/19s grand final between favourites the Burleigh Bears and the Tweed Seagulls. The match was ultimately decided by a field goal from young Shay Menyweather, the Bears edging out the Seagulls by 17-16. Burleigh backrower Matt Prowse was named man-of-the-match. The Reserve Grade grand final was just as exciting with the Southport Tigers running out winners over Burleigh by 30-26. The lead changed no less than four times before Southport scored twice in the final five minutes to snatch victory. Tigers halfback Josh Dwyer was named man-of-the-match.

The main fixture was equally enthralling with the lead changing several times before Bilambil staged a comeback to snatch a four point victory. The inaugural Pat Shepherdson Trophy for man-of-the-match went to prop forward Graham Smallwood.

Bilambil Jets' coach Jim Lenihan was overjoyed. A former centre who played with the Gold Coast Seagulls and St George Dragons, Lenihan looked like he had just won the NRL grand final.

Slammin' Sam Stewart got it right. This 'park football' is where the real game is played.

Indeed, you can ask many a footballer to speak of their greatest moment. The lucky ones will say it was an A-Grade premiership.

Words | 750
Ref | http://www.rlcm.com.au/latest-news/6108-rugby-leaguehttp://www.rlcm.com.au/latest-news/6108-rugby-league
http://www.qrl.com.au/default.aspx?s=article-display&id=25562
http://crlnsw.com.au/index.php?id=13&tx_ttnews[tt_news]=160&cHash=fe1033f838
http://www.sportingpulse.com/assoc_...ask=DETAIL&articleID=16892796&sectionID=18662
Quote | Sam Stewart (interview by Pat McLeod, Gold Coast Bulletin)

 

[muzby]

muzby pulls on the familiar bluebags jersey again and charges onto the field for the last 13 minutes of the game..


750 words title to end..

Be alert, not alarmed.

Nathaniel and Pashar were fanatical terrorists. Horrible people who were planning a Jihad against the people of Australia to repay what they saw as an attack on the poor people of the Middle East.

The two were brothers, and had moved to Australia to plan and carry out their attack. But if we wind the clock back to April 2010, back before they came over to Australia, they were planning to move to Sydney. Their plan was to punish the city of sin for their crimes against their God. But just before their move, there came news of a sporting team in Australia who had cheated the competition over the past 4 years - the Melbourne Storm.

If there was one thing that the brothers hated more than debauchery, it was cheating. So they made a pact, they would move to Melbourne, disguise themselves as Storm fans and blend into society whilst planning an attack to punish both Australians in general, and the cheating Storm specifically.

Pashar found them a great farmhouse to rent, where they could be close to Melbourne but still have the space and security they needed to plan their attack.

Over the course of the next eighteen months, the brothers attended Storm games and fan functions. The brothers found Rugby League to be a great cover for their plan. They could easily go to a game and discuss “bombs” without anyone raising an eyebrow. There they mapped the movements of the fans, watched and studied security at AAMI Park and stockpiled fertilizer and explosives, working ever closer to their big plan - a bomb at the biggest game at AAMI Park - a home final that should get those cheaters into a grand final.

Pashar had grown to enjoy the game of Rugby League, and decided to head to what would be his last ever match (well, last ever match that wouldn’t involve a rather large explosion and meeting his 42 virgins). He asked Nathaniel if he wanted to go, but he declined. So Pashar headed to the game to watch the Storm play the Knights.

Pashar watched a funny silver haired man bring out a shield as a gift to the Storm fans. He watched with satisfaction as the fans booed and jeered this gift giving man. So they were not just cheaters, but ungrateful too. He and Nathaniel had picked the right targets. On the way out after the match, he was lucky enough to pass the silver haired man. He walked up and patted him on the shoulder, thanking him for his services to the Storm, before heading back to the farmhouse for a restful night.

The next day, Pashar stayed in the rumpus room of their rented house, putting the final touches on their bomb whilst Nathaniel went into the kitchen to watch the news and prepare dinner.

All of a sudden there was a loud shout from the kitchen.

“Pashar!” called a rather agitated Nathaniel, “Come here right now!!”

Pashar walked into the kitchen where Nathaniel stood pointing at the TV.
“You’ve blown our cover!” screamed Nathaniel “What did you do??”

Pashar looked at the news to see a headline saying “GALLOP NAMES MELBOURNE STORM FANS AS TERRORISTS”. Shocked, he turned to his brother and says “Surely he hasn’t discovered us.”

The brothers kept watching, and both jaws dropped when they heard Gallop, in his nasally twang, say “The Terrorists are Pash ‘n’ Nate, you know, and what they do isn‘t right”.

Nathaniel turned and slapped Pashar. “He’s onto us. What have you done?”

After thinking for a few seconds, Pashar says “I didn’t do anything. I just thanked him for his services. I don’t know how he worked out what we were up to.”

In what was an unfortunate stroke of luck, at that point a young door to door salesman for Optus arrived at the farmhouse, hoping to make a sale. When he knocked on the door, the boys looked through the side window and thought they were about to be raided and that they had to make their move.

After hugging briefly, Pashar and Nathaniel ran to the rumpus room, grabbed the detonator and blew up the house, along with the Optus worker who thankfully never knew what hit him (at first it was the door and then part of the kitchen table, if you were curious).

And that, dear readers, is how David Gallop helped save Australia from attack, even if he didn't know it.
　

 

[Big Mick]

Big Mick running out on the field for the Panthers hoping to help his team to a second Grand Final

I am not a Role Model!

​

In 1993 a controversial Nike commercial displayed colourful NBA personality Charles Barkley saying the words – I AM NOT A ROLE MODEL! – It is a mantra that has been echoed by many troubled and ill-disciplined sportsmen around the world since.

Barkley’s premise was that he was paid to play basketball, not be a role model. Recently we have heard a number of NRL stars who have found trouble replicating the same line – be it Todd Carney, Benji Marshall or previously Willie Mason. So this begs the question – Are NRL stars to be seen as role models?

When a young man has set out on a career in the NRL, rising through the ranks, there is no doubt being a role model is far from their minds. However as these young stars progress, they will undoubtedly be perceived as role models. As their profile grows, the young player would gain attention and it is the player’s responsibility to repay their fans with not being plastered over the Sunday paper for drunken incidents which damage their code, their fans and themselves.

There are obviously arguments to both sides in this debate. One side of the argument suggests that young people should not be idolising sporting identities due to sporadic behaviour. While others would suggest that sportsmen should be idolised as potentially a way out of a struggling situation, through commitment, excellence and hard work.

The fact of the matter is that while NRL stars may believe they are not role models, they are an example for the younger generation, whether they like it or not. NRL stars are often revered more than actors, politicians and doctors due to the culture of our society. We are a sporting nation and as such hold our athletes to a higher esteem.

The bulk of off-field incidents can be the linked to the combination of late evenings and excessive consumption of alcohol. While most athletes believe that the consumption of alcohol allows them to “let off some steam” after a hard, physical game, scientific studies prove that alcohol consumption has a significant impact on a professional athlete’s performance capabilities.

Studies show that alcohol is in fact a depressant that takes its toll on several parts of the body, including the brain. It slows reaction times, delays thinking process, suppresses the immune system and affects the recovery time of injury.

NRL clubs are rightly cracking down on players who consume alcohol during the recovery process from an injury, as highlighted with Michael Jennings. Jennings delayed the process of rehab for his injury by unnecessarily consuming excessive alcohol and as such cost his team and thousands of young fans the opportunity to watch him play.

While athletes respond with the concept of “We can’t live in a bubble” it does not mean players can’t make proper choices. We’ve seen in recent seasons the pitfalls and jubilation of players who have made sacrifices to succeed.

In 2008 Jarryd Hayne was nearly exiled from Parramatta following a Kings Cross shooting. Following the World Cup, representing Fiji, Hayne recommitted himself to the game and made significant sacrifices. In 2009 he led Parramatta to the Grand Final, along with earning the Dally M Medal.

But for every success story there is one that boggles the mind. Todd Carney’s career resembles a rollercoaster, from the highs of stardom to the lows of serving beer, exiled from the NRL. After being banished in 2009, following a string of indiscretions, Carney returned to the NRL, humbled by the experience. He made sacrifices to give up alcohol and, like Hayne, led his team to a Grand Final and the Dally M medal. In 2011, however, Carney has now been released following yet another string of indiscretions.

These two players are prime example of what the difference is between realising ones potential and the impact of a lack of professionalism.

NRL stars for too long have hidden behind the veil “I am not a Role Model”. revealed in 1993. The fact of the matter is that we as NRL fans expect our sporting heroes to act in an acceptable fashion, due to the code they represent, the healthy wages they bring in and the adulation that goes with succeeding in the NRL. Most importantly however, is because they are role models for the next generation. Because of this, they voluntarily place themselves in this special category of elite sportsmen and as such we expect the same professionalism both on and off the football field.

746 Words (OWC)

References:
* UC San Diego Athletic Performance Nutrition Department - Alcohol and Athletic performance, 2009
* UC San Diego Athletic Performance Nutrition Department - Effect of Alcohol on athletic endurance, 2010
* New York Post - Stars duty to be good role models
* Herald Sun - Sports stars are role models, any way you spin it - 2008
* Alcohol and the athlete - Dr Conner, P. O'Brien

 

[Jesbass]

The referee dons his military uniform, marches to halfway, then announces: "Right, stop that - it's silly!"

 

[Big Mick]

Good game ladies and gents.

Well played by both teams. Should be a cracker.

 

[madunit]

I'd like to firstly apologise for posting my article before the team line up was listed. Due to work and family commitments, I didn't believe I would get on a PC in time to post my article. I took a better safe than sorry approach.

Good luck all, this will be another mighty clash for the ages.

 

[Willow]

I'd like to firstly apologise for posting my article before the team line up was listed..

Definitely a hangable offence unit. ;-)

A ripper of a match. 5v5 and looks like a classic. Good luck everyone. Now over the ditch and to the ref. :thumn

 

[Big Mick]

Same here Willow. Looks like a ripper.

 

[Jesbass]

To ye gallant warriors of literary rugby league, I will work on the marking on the morrow, with an eye to have the result before the weekend.

In other news, madunit has received a life ban for his act of gross misconduct with regards to time travel. Just sayin'.

 

[Titanic]

In other news, madunit has received a life ban for his act of gross misconduct with regards to time travel. Just sayin'.

Now that is truly a shady comment.