With wonderful sleight of hand, Dubopov pops an offload up to
DRAGONZ_RULE, who charges onto the ball, bursts through flimsy Rabbitohs defence and charges down the field ...
DRAGONZ_RULE draws the Souths fullback with a
747 word offering between the stars (OWC), and goes in to score what should be the match-winning try!!
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Anzac Day Madness
From the nadir of what is arguably a rugby league fan’s worst nightmare comes a tale of deep woe and despair. A tale of two people who should never have entertained the possibilities. A tale of two people who should have known better.
Welcome to that tale.
A tale otherwise known as The Story of my Life …
I think of myself as a proud Australian. I vehemently believe in downing meat pies, booing politicians at public events, honouring war veterans on specially designated remembrance days, and enjoying the intimate company of a partner when lying in bed late at night.
A while back – perhaps it was 2004? – I determined that I could combine all these Aussie-isms by doing something quintessentially Australian: namely, watching a game of footy on Anzac Day! I figured I could honour our fallen ancestors before kick-off, scoff down an overpriced meat pie at half-time, jeer the Presentation Party at full-time, and head home to show my girlfriend how much I ‘love’ her, thus truly fulfilling the Great Australian Dream.
“Where is this tale of despair,” you interject. “That sounds bloody awesome to me!”
I must admit: it did sound good. But here’s where it gets problematic:
I am a Dragons fan.
My girlfriend isn’t.
She supports another team. Not just any old team, though: she supports
them.
The Roosters.
“No,” you exclaim. “Surely you jest!”
Alas, I jest not. I merely relay this tale to you in the hope that you may learn a valuable lesson …
Things started going downhill in 2008. Our first Anzac Day match together. To be fair, it went great for the most part. I stood through the Minute’s Silence, thinking of my late grandfather. I devoured my half-time pie; booed during the presentation. That night, though, my girlfriend shut up shop. Said she was ‘tired’ and ‘had a headache.’
The first sign of trouble. I was unhappy, but my love was too deep to give up.
It would get worse in 2009. Again, a mystery ‘headache’ prevented nocturnal frivolity; I was told in no uncertain terms that, should I wish to ‘get my rocks off’, I should watch replays of Jamie Soward ‘streaking’ downfield.
This time, however, daylight gambolling was also curbed – apparently booing the Prime Minister was ‘disrespectful’ and ‘downright despicable.’
The second, more serious, sign of trouble. I was angry, but still my love remained too deep to give up.
Unsurprisingly, the crisis deepened in 2010. Not only did I miss my midnight madness and pass-up ‘praising’ the presentation party, but I was also denied my half-time cuisine. This time I learned it would not be becoming of a Roosters supporter to be seen in public with a ‘gentleman dining on vile pabulum.’
The third, now deadly serious, sign of trouble. Many would now think (and quite rightfully, too!) that we had hit dire straits. Denying a red-blooded Aussie bloke a meat pie during half-time at the footy is tantamount to being un-Australian. Naturally, my partner’s behaviour on this most recent occasion had made me apoplectic.
But
STILL my love was too deep to give up.
And now, dear friend, should this tale allow me to impart but one lesson upon you, let it be this:
I would, and in fact I will, gladly experience it all again in 2011. Even if it means no meat pie. Even if it means no post-match booing of David Gallop when that smug smirk of his is plastered across the big screen. Even if it means no night-time hanky-panky.
“But why,” you ponder. “Is this another one of those lame ‘true love’ stories?”
Well … yes, it is. If you hadn’t already figured it out by now, I’m afraid to say this has indeed been about love; I sincerely apologise if that verity disappoints you.
Mine is a profound, true and endlessly burning love.
Mine is a love that has me eagerly anticipating the impending attendance of both my girlfriend and I at the 2011 Anzac Day clash between the Dragons and Roosters.
After all, since 2008, when we first started going to the match together, the mighty Dragons – for whom my love will always be too great to ever give up on – have a perfect winning record!
Your writer’s girlfriend, a loyal Roosters fan, finished reading this tale earlier. She seemed to think I had chronicled a love for her, right up unto the last. Apparently, your writer won’t be getting any night-time hanky-panky tonight either …
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