Proxy for Tittoolate ... 6th article famously posted in the Round 4 (739 words)
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State of Origin Bargain Hunt
Tim: Hello and ‘Welcome’ to this special State of Origin Bargain Hunt from Sydney
Casino on Blues Street, known locally as the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
Today we have modified our format. Instead of seeking out antiques - like Peter Sterling’s comb - our Celebratory Selectors will identify five collectible players from their Blues’ and Maroons’ talent pools to train-on for next year’s series.
A big Bargain Hunt welcome for the Blues: Coach Laurie Daley with Freddie Fitler. Mentoring the Blues is Danny Buderus, who can just remember what its like to
win an Origin series (crowd claps politely).
And for the Maroons, please welcome mega-coach Mal Meninga (crowd roars manically) and quintessential Origin captain, Darren Lockyer (crowd explodes). Mentoring is the Emporer, Wally Lewis! (crowd members bow in unison).
Now Mal, what’s your strategy?
Mal: It’s a toughy mate. At last count I have 746 Maroon players with the talent to
play Origin; not counting the 9,842 NSW players, mums and girlfriends petitioning for a rule change so they too can be Queenslanders (crowd goes apoplectic).
Tim: Yes, so I’ve heard. Now what about you Lozza?
Laurie: Ah, another 12 months of heartache. But in true NSW style I’ll find some
new guy to be our savior while I trot out the same talentless lineup …. something like that (crowd shuffles feet, examines fingernails).
Tim: Right, why change? So teams, off to
dressing rooms. Your time starts now!
….thirty minutes later…
Tim: Welcome back teams. Now lets
chat with the mentors. Wally, how did your two Origin Icons handle the task?
Wally: Mate with the talent Mal has at his disposal I can see him going from 8 Straight to Cloud 9 and then to the Dominant Decade!
Tim: Brilliant! Now let’s hear the Blues. Danny, who will make it two from three next year?
Danny: Great Blues spirit, Tim. We talent scouted at North Sydney High and I really think in 2019 we could give these guys a fright.
Tim: Going for bust heh? Ok let’s review the choices. Maroons up first.
Mal (speaking) and
Darren (grating): Tim we’ve been hearing about the old legs of some of our players, but guess what? They keep on winning so we will keep on backing them. First five picked are: Billy Slater, Darius Boyd, Greg Inglis, Justin Hodges, Brent Tate, Johnathan Thurston, Cooper Cronk, Matt Scott, Cameron Smith (c), Nate Myles, Chris McQueen, Sam Thaiday, Corey Parker, Daly Cherry-Evans, Ben Te’o, Matt Gillett, Josh Papalii.
Tim: Ah, Mal, I can’t help but notice there are a few more than 5 there.
Mal (monobrow knitting, glowers at Tim): Listen, those are
winners, winners win and they are a unit. Are you saying I can’t count?
Tim (smiling and backing away smartly): Mal! What an inspired choice!
So that seemed straightforward for the Maroons, not terribly surprising, but what can the Blues pull out of their hats?
Laurie, what’s in store for 2014?
Laurie: I cracked it! We put our heads together, drew a line in the sand, taken it on the chin and named a team who will come to play. My strategy is that winners win, so I’m pulling together a team of winners. Sounds good heh?
Tim: Is there an echo in here?
Laurie: Look Tim, if it works for the big guy, its got to work for me, stands to reason.
So first pick, Me. I know how to play the game, I can interpret the coach’s instructions perfectly, I have a great winning track record, and look good in blue.
Tim: Lozza I’m no expert but aren’t you a little old?
Laurie: Mate wait ‘til you hear the rest! I’m bringing Freddie back as Captain! Did you see the way he ran the drinks? I reckon he’s still got it. I’ve given Mick Cronin a call and he thinks he can find his boots.
Tim: But he’s older than me! What are you thinking Laurie?
Freddie butting in: Mal’s got old guys, right? A team of winners right? It works!
Laurie: And we have a big surprise! Our secret pick is an Origin legend, a player who can turn the game just with one pass! He is….
…Wally Lewis! A masterstroke Mal won’t expect! Haha hehehe…
Tim: and as the men in white coats come for Laurie and friends, we say goodbye and look forward to the Blues having the blues in 2014.