The Lone Wolf stalked his prey in the bushes. He was about to strike when he caught the glare of Jason Statham’s head in his eyes. In the confusion he attacked the wrong man, but the shrill African American was expecting him and blocked him before he could do any damage.
Jason Statham, confused by what had transpired, went to go on his merry way but walked straight into the barrel of a shotgun.
‘Hasta la vista, pommie’ were the last words he heard.
Micky J is dead. He was Jason Statham, Action Heroes aligned pommie
Schwarzenegger’s peculiar behavior the day before had earned him some attention this night. Jackie Chan would be the one to act first and the sheer speed of his attack caught even the last action hero off guard.
‘I’ll be back.’ Schwarzenegger insisted, but Chan had other ideas and smashed his skull with his boot.
Drew-Sta is dead. He was Arnold Schwarzenegger, Action Heroes aligned Mr Universe
Elsewhere the most electrifying man in all of entertainment sent out another wrestler who’s movie career hadn’t done so well. Dressed as the Suburban Commando, Hulk Hogan posed like a boss in front of a man wearing a lab coat. The man was so impressed by the show of steroids and sunbeds he completely forgot who he was targeting and went for someone else instead. The Hulkster meanwhile realized there is only so many times he can flex the 24inch pythons with bursting a blood vessel. He died instantly.
Hulk Hogan is dead. He was Hulk Hogan ??? aligned Hulkamaniac
The sidekicks, angered by the fact that town were killing themselves off, that is the mafia’s job normally, decided to get in on the action and targeted one of the quieter members of the town. He made for an easy target too as he was perched, split legged, across the wing mirrors of 2 Volvo trucks. The mafia don simply grabbed the wheel of one of the trucks and veered it to the left. The sound of his groin being torn in 2 was heard throughout the land.
Pharaohmir is dead. He was Jean-Claude Van Damme. Action Heroes aligned Timecop
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