Cronulla_Mania
Bench
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Hope i don't embarass the Maggie one by posting this, but i think its one of the best pieces of writing i have ever seen (It was used for the forum 7s competition last week for the mighty bags)
<span>*Gorilla for the Blue bloody Bags*
<span>Aussie Rites</span>
I was bored the other night and I turned on the TV. There was an aussie rules game on, and I thought I would pay attention - for a change. As I watched I realised that aussie rules is just one huge Fertility Rite ! You know, a performance to help ensure the fertility of the aussie rules community. Let me explain, it is classical symbolism, but it is a bit Freudian....
Firstly the concept is based upon the egg or oval. It is an accepted fact that the egg is a symbol of fertility throughout humanity whether it is the really ancient meaning of Easter time in the northern hemisphere or the ovoid shaped female fecundity statues of far older civilisations than ours.
Now aussie rules is played on an oval (stylised egg) shaped field, and they kick around a little stylised egg. The rite takes place on the wicca equivalent of a pentagram.
The players are strapping young men (the most fertile of the 'clan') in skimpy ceremonial outfits, who kick and pass about this little stylised egg. Because aussie rules is a game that takes place over a large scale area, without the linear action of the rugby codes, it has to be seen live or on a large scale, and from a distance the players look like wriggling and jumping multi-coloured sperm.
The players even run through a symbolic hymen at the start of the fertility rite, you know those giant banners ? The action starts with a good ruck and the little multi-coloured sperm wriggle around, climbing all over each other, marking their territory, racing toward the aim of the fertility rite -to symbolically impregnate again and again.
Where do the little multi-coloured sperms want to kick the egg to impregnate ? Right between the legs (oops, sorry), ahem.... right between the big posts. And what is more, if you look closely at the 'posts' all those streamers and giant pom-poms being waved about by the crowd are remarkably like pubic hair ! In the same colours as the little sperm !
Getting the egg in between the 'big posts' is the best way of scoring. It is more than co-incidence that when you miss the big score, the 'behind' is not worth much......
The team with the greatest number of scoring shots wins the day and can be said to have the most fertile and most attractive players, judging by the attention they receive after the match by comely young maidens in the clan.
This rite takes place throughout the winter, when the season is at it least productive, as a means of calling forth the springtime - the most fertile period. The grand finale occurs in early spring and this 'climax'of the fertility rite ushers in a new breeding and agricultural season.
Magilla Gorilla
_________________
"And when the milkman comes leave him a note in the bottle
Penguin dust, bring me penguin dust, I want penguin dust"</span><span>
</span>
<span>
</span>
<span></span>
<span>Moffo.
</SPAN>
<span>*Gorilla for the Blue bloody Bags*
<span>Aussie Rites</span>
I was bored the other night and I turned on the TV. There was an aussie rules game on, and I thought I would pay attention - for a change. As I watched I realised that aussie rules is just one huge Fertility Rite ! You know, a performance to help ensure the fertility of the aussie rules community. Let me explain, it is classical symbolism, but it is a bit Freudian....
Firstly the concept is based upon the egg or oval. It is an accepted fact that the egg is a symbol of fertility throughout humanity whether it is the really ancient meaning of Easter time in the northern hemisphere or the ovoid shaped female fecundity statues of far older civilisations than ours.
Now aussie rules is played on an oval (stylised egg) shaped field, and they kick around a little stylised egg. The rite takes place on the wicca equivalent of a pentagram.
The players are strapping young men (the most fertile of the 'clan') in skimpy ceremonial outfits, who kick and pass about this little stylised egg. Because aussie rules is a game that takes place over a large scale area, without the linear action of the rugby codes, it has to be seen live or on a large scale, and from a distance the players look like wriggling and jumping multi-coloured sperm.
The players even run through a symbolic hymen at the start of the fertility rite, you know those giant banners ? The action starts with a good ruck and the little multi-coloured sperm wriggle around, climbing all over each other, marking their territory, racing toward the aim of the fertility rite -to symbolically impregnate again and again.
Where do the little multi-coloured sperms want to kick the egg to impregnate ? Right between the legs (oops, sorry), ahem.... right between the big posts. And what is more, if you look closely at the 'posts' all those streamers and giant pom-poms being waved about by the crowd are remarkably like pubic hair ! In the same colours as the little sperm !
Getting the egg in between the 'big posts' is the best way of scoring. It is more than co-incidence that when you miss the big score, the 'behind' is not worth much......
The team with the greatest number of scoring shots wins the day and can be said to have the most fertile and most attractive players, judging by the attention they receive after the match by comely young maidens in the clan.
This rite takes place throughout the winter, when the season is at it least productive, as a means of calling forth the springtime - the most fertile period. The grand finale occurs in early spring and this 'climax'of the fertility rite ushers in a new breeding and agricultural season.
Magilla Gorilla
_________________
"And when the milkman comes leave him a note in the bottle
Penguin dust, bring me penguin dust, I want penguin dust"</span><span>
</span>
<span>
<span></span>
<span>Moffo.
</SPAN>
