cheer me up

[northey]

i have had a bad day......
it isn't often i have a bad day, but today was a bad day!
tell me a joke or something, you lot always make me laugh! :lol:

 

[Jedda]

Cheer up Northey, things could be worse you could be;

A) Untouchable

B) A Roosters supporter

Honestly, I can't think of two things I'd rather be :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[the_knights_rule]

sorry to hear about your bad day
here are a few roosters fans jokes... dunno bout you but they always make me laugh ;-)

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered."

The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."

The fourth one says, "I prefer Rooster fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are interchangeable."

============================

A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?" "Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Gus Gould".

"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt ?"

"Well, he tried to escape through the park."

============================

Q. What's the difference between a female Rooster fan and a Pit bull?
A. Lipstick

=============================

Q. Santa Claus , the tooth fairy , an intelligent Rooster fan, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a $100.00 note. Who gets it?
A. The drunk , or course ; the other three are mythical creatures.

==============================

Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a Rooster Fan?
A. A Doberman.

==============================

Q. What do Rooster Fans use for birth control ?
A. Their personalities.

==============================

Q. What is the difference between a Rooster Fan and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.

==============================

Q. What do you call 5000 dead Rooster Fans at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.

 

[CoastieChik]

:lol: Nice work t_k_r - I like it ALOT!!!

Don't worry Northey, it could be worse - u could have sh!thouse exams like me!!

But just think back 2 1/2 wks to that glorious GF!!! :twisted: ...And then think how much beta the next 49 1/2 wks will be without having to listen to those stupid bloody goostrs goin on about they're great victory!!! :lol:

Should at least 'bring a smile to ure dial'! O

But if that doesn't :shock: ... nothing will!

 

[antonius]

Cheer you up? read the "CHECKERS" thread that should do the trick, there are some classic UT and Termy one liners in that.

 

[northey]

awww thank you so much!!!!!!!!

 

[The Vern]

Watch this cartoon http://starterupsteve.servepics.com/swf/scampi.html? its funny cause its stupid

 

[Terminator]

A couple get invited to a fancy dress party, as the husband is getting changed into his outfit the wife says you go honey I'm not feeling too well.
So the husband goes off by himself, an hour later his wife feels better, so she changes her mind and decides to go, she gets out her costume, which her husband hadnt seen yet, puts it on and off she goes.
When she arrives she scans the party for her husband and there he is dancing with an attractive blonde groping her on the arse and swigging a huge glass of bourbon.
She sidles up to them and cuts in to dance with him, she whispers in his ear if he would like to come out to her car in the parking lot, he nods excitedly and follows her out.
They get stuck in to it without a moments hesitation or without removing their costumes, its the best sex either of them have ever had.
The wife drives home and two hours later her husband walks into the bedroom and flings his costume into the wardrobe.
How was your night sweetheart, she enquires?
Well says her husband, I've got to be honest with you, it was pretty dull, I didnt even have one dance, so I went out the back and played cards with the boys all night, I lent my costume to some guy and apparently he had the best night of his life.

 

[northey]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
i am feeling better now thankyou so much!!!!!!!!

 

[mrford61]

A three leegged dog walks into a saloon and says " OK, wheres the low down son of a bitch shot my paw" :lol: :lol:


Hear what happened to Helena Rubenstein??
Max Factor :shock:

My two best jokes so hope they are appreciated

 

[Leasha]

Northey I thought you had a great day with your special ice-cream partner ;-) !!! Well I can't think of any particular way to cheer you up except to think that at least you arent:
a) stuck in exams like me
b) UT
c) your cousin Stinky hehehe :lol:

 

[socksie]

here are 2 things that will make you feel better:

1. my friend lives on a farm and he's doing his usual routine of feeding the animals, etc. he's milking the cow and gets pissed off coz there's no milk so he slaps the cows rear. he then tries to get the pigs back into the pen but theyre running everywhere so he kicks one of them. finally he decides to feed the chicken coz what can they do? big mistake. he's feeding the chickens but they're pecking at his toes so he picks one up and throws it.

he goes back to the house and asks mum whats for dinner. his mum says 'youre not getting beef coz you slapped the cow, youre not getting bacon because you kicked the pig, youre not getting eggs because you threw a chicken.

dad opens the door and walks in, tripping on the car. my friend turns to his mum and says 'are you gonna tell him or should i?'

2. i am doing my hsc and i forgot to answer an entire question in english yesterday.

 

[CoastieChik]

2. i am doing my hsc and i forgot to answer an entire question in english yesterday.

Don't worry b&r socks - u'l still probably beat me!! 8-[

Plus...it's only english - who really cares!? O

 

[poojar]

i think he trips on the cat not the car

 

[northey]

:lol: :lol:
leasha is did have a good day when i had ice cream........
but i had a bad day before the ice cream and it just sank in that the person i had ice cream with is moving away and i won't get to see them as much any more

 

[Leasha]

:lol: :lol:
leasha is did have a good day when i had ice cream........
but i had a bad day before the ice cream and it just sank in that the person i had ice cream with is moving away and i won't get to see them as much any more

Aww poor erin! It'll be okay, you'll still see him! Plus you have special ice-cream memories! :lol:

 

[socksie]

i think he trips on the cat not the car

yeah go me and my wonderfully brilliant typing skills

coastiechik i'm doing 10 units only and am aiming at 90+

 

[Leasha]

i think he trips on the cat not the car

yeah go me and my wonderfully brilliant typing skills

coastiechik i'm doing 10 units only and am aiming at 90+

You arent the only one! I started out at the beginning of the year doing 14 units but the workload got too great and now I'm down to 10... its so terrible because it really limits you! PLUS I am freaking out that I stuffed up English, even though I wrote 32 and 33 pages for each of the exams, I'm terrified that I answered the questions all wrong!

 

[CoastieChik]

Don't worry b&r socks - I'm sure u'l make it - just ace the rest of ure exams!! O english was always going to count anyway - 10 units just means u have more time to study for all ure other exams!!

Bet u kill it!! O

 

[socksie]

PLUS I am freaking out that I stuffed up English, even though I wrote 32 and 33 pages for each of the exams, I'm terrified that I answered the questions all wrong!

33 pages??!?! how is that humanly possible?? thats gotta be worth something!

what subjects are you doing now after dropping 4?