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I have borderline personality disorder (BPD). AMA.

Nuke

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
4,545
It's funny you posted that. I'm slowly reading all -thus far 20- pages (up to page 10!) of this thread, as my wife shows too many signs that she has BPD (but of course can't see it, so won't seek help, and thus it hasn't been diagnosed).

The fact that you posted again here for the first time this year just now, and the specific topic of your post just hit home for me.
I'm all about compromise after compromise, whereas I don't feel there's much in the way of compromise from her ... although I'm sure she 100% believes she does nearly all the compromising.

Anyway, thankyou for that particular post.
Good work, mate.

PS: I should clarify that I'm not entertaining the thought of ending the marriage or leaving her. I love her beyond words. Your post, particularly the final paragraph, just touched a nerve, alerting me about the challenging road in all the years ahead. For everything that I have given up to try and keep her happy (thus making 'us' happy), I have very little left to give up, so I've little else left to lose.
Again, it hit a nerve, but I do thankyou for doing so.

I do have questions, but I'd rather wait until I've read all pages in this thread (in case the answers are already there!).
 
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Messages
10,858
It's funny you posted that. I'm slowly reading all -thus far 20- pages (up to page 10!) of this thread, as my wife shows too many signs that she has BPD (but of course can't see it, so won't seek help, and thus it hasn't been diagnosed).

The fact that you posted again here for the first time this year just now, and the specific topic of your post just hit home for me.
I'm all about compromise after compromise, whereas I don't feel there's much in the way of compromise from her ... although I'm sure she 100% believes she does nearly all the compromising.

Anyway, thankyou for that particular post.
Good work, mate.

PS: I should clarify that I'm not entertaining the thought of ending the marriage or leaving her. I love her beyond words. Your post, particularly the final paragraph, just touched a nerve, alerting me about the challenging road in all the years ahead. For everything that I have given up to try and keep her happy (thus making 'us' happy), I have very little left to give up, so I've little else left to lose.
Again, it hit a nerve, but I do thankyou for doing so.

I do have questions, but I'd rather wait until I've read all pages in this thread (in case the answers are already there!).
I’ve seen a bloke lose himself completely from only 5 or so years of subservience to an unwell women.

Career gone, asset gone, inheritance squandered, family estranged and even kids abandoned.

But critically, perpetual unhappiness, change of thinking. Wires crossing to find pleasure in awful things, reflecting her weird values.

My point is not to leave yourself out all alone, some quality Nuke time and care may be needed.

To see an expert for yourself may be the order of the day.

I’ve seen mental health interventions work but under careful and professional instruction.

Take care of yourself brother.
 
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Nealo 12

Bench
Messages
3,536
It’s up to all of us to toughen up , can’t let life take hold and dominate what happens
 
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