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ICCs new ashes rules

J

Johnsy

Guest
Following the crushing defeat of England in the first test, the International Cricket Council has imposed a new set of rules to make the contest more even. The new rules were formulated in conjuction with James Miller, 9, of Enfield and his school chums.
As a result, England has been granted an electric wickie, freeing up wicket keeper Alex Stewart to defend the boundary.

Under the rule, Australian batsmen will be deemed out "caught behind" if the ball snicks their bat and lands in the immediate area behind the wicket. The rule is a compromise from the original English proposal which had pushed for electric slips as well.
The ICC refused that request on the grounds that "someone has to go and get the ball when an Australian misses it." In addition, Australia is under strict "tip and run" restrictions which require they take a run off every ball they hit. Following his performance in the first test Australian wicketkeeper Adam Gilchrist has "six and out" restrictions imposed on him.

As well, following complaints from English fielder, Gilchrist will have to get the ball if it goes across the road. Instead of using a bat, Slater will now be obliged to use his arm with jumper wrapped around it. New rules for England include "one hand, one bounce" while they are fielding, and the provision of "last man carries" when they are batting. Australian captain Steve Waugh has vigourously opposed the "last man carries" rule and has launched an appeal. Waugh says Australia will only agree to the rule if there are electric wickets at the end, allowing Aussie fielders to throw to the stumps at either end.
A spokesperson for the ICC also announced that following six successive ducks "from now on Craig White can't get out for a duck".

The English medium pace bowler will also be allowed to wrap the ball's seam with electrical tape when he's bowling in the second innings. The spokesperson added there will be "no LB" for English batsmen unless "it is really, really obvious." Shane Warne has conceded that its "fair enough" that he has to bowl underarm (but not molly grubbers) to the English tail end. Despite the changes, Australia remains firm favourites going into the Second Test, paying $1.02, while an English win is currently paying $130.

Johnsy
 

Willow

Assistant Moderator
Messages
110,053
LOL
You know, when England first toured Australia in the late 1800s, they allowed the locals to field and bat with 18 or even 22 players in an effort to even up the contest.
Perhaps it's time to return the favour :)

 
J

Johnsy

Guest
Tigger

I was not aware it was 'your" joke. I received it at work via ccmail and thought it would give everyone a laugh.

Cheers

Johnsy
 
T

tigger

Guest
Johnsy,

I was only kidding.

This is the third time i have read it & it just get better :eek:)

Cheers

The Notorious Balmain Loyalist
 
J

Johnsy

Guest
No worries mate. I was gonna say you should be an author, that work is bloody good.

Johnsy
 

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