L
legend
Guest
The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!" <hr size=0> [The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"] Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! Legend is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Moffo. So everyone, please put your hands together for Legend! [The crowd whoops and hollers] Jerry: Okay, now Legend you're here to talk about someone aren't you? You: Yes. Jerry: And what is this other person's name? You: Brook. [The crowd squeals with delight] Jerry: Okay, okay, well Brook, is actually here tonight ... [The crowd squeals] Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Legend, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... Ozbash! You: What the HELL!!! [Out of nowhere you pull out a samurai sword. Ozbash reaches for the candelabra. Out of the shadows Ms Storm appears] Ms Storm: Wait everybody, wait! Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here Ozbash. Ozbash: Because I saw Legend and Ms Storm making out at Crazy Prices! [The crowd goes absolutely insane] Ms Storm: That's a lie! I was home watching Murder She Wrote! Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem Ozbash? Ozbash: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Moffo who has recently become engaged to Ms Storm. [The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement] Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Moffo out here because Legend had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Brook that's right! Moffo: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Brook! You know how I feel about Brook! Ms Storm: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Brook! Moffo: Because I knew that I could never have Brook. But Legend promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings! Ms Storm: What about respect for my feelings! [Ozbash walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Moffo] Ozbash: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me. [Again the crowd squeals] Ms Storm: Oh my God! Are you sick!? [Ms Storm runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly] Ms Storm: Legend take me away from all of this! You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ... [The crowd does its bit] Ms Storm: Married? [You nod] Ms Storm: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand! You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Brook. Moffo: [screaming] WHAT!!! Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night? Brook: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 69 times if that's what you mean. [The crowd squeals] Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... Legend is married to Brook who Moffo has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Moffo has recently become engaged to Ms Storm who was recently spotted kissing Legend in Crazy Prices. Now on top of this, Ozbash has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Moffo. Brook: That's right Jerry. Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other. [Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]
