Losing Eels

[strider]

Well that's my point. I don't think we should be aiming for consistency. A more top heavy squad should give us a better chance of winning the comp when we get lucky with injuries. And a better chance of winning another spoon when we don't. But I don't care about that, winning the comp should be the priority.

I reckon we win the comp once and it buys about 7 years worth of merdiocrity to be content with

 

[I'm a loser baby...]

I reckon we win the comp once and it buys about 7 years worth of merdiocrity to be content with

Former powerhouse!!

 

[Noise]

I reckon we win the comp once and it buys about 7 years worth of merdiocrity to be content with

Win the comp and I’d be content with another 20 years of shitness

 

[Gary Gutful]

People say that, but I can guarantee that the reaction would be different if it happened.

 

[I'm a loser baby...]

People say that, but I can guarantee that the reaction would be different if it happened.

Of course people would still complain. It's footy, so that goes with the territory. But it doesn't mean they'd prefer to not win a comp but have a team that makes the finals about half the time. For a club that hasn't won in over three decades our priority, even more than the other average clubs, should be delivering what the fans deserve.

 

[Noise]

So I worked out who the current biggest f**ken loser eels are (only considered those who have played more than this season for us because sample size!!). They are ordered from most loser merkin to slightly less loser merkin with their winning percentages included for your pleasure:

George Jennings - 37.04%
Will Smith - 37.9%
'Tiny' Tim Mannah - 39.9%
Penis Terepo - 40.35%
David Gower - 44.6%

f**king losers!

Following these top 5 useless merkins there are a bunch of current eels sitting around 45-47% winning percentages

 

[I'm a loser baby...]

So I worked out who the current biggest f**ken loser eels are (only considered those who have played more than this season for us because sample size!!). They are ordered from most loser merkin to slightly less loser merkin with their winning percentages included for your pleasure:

George Jennings - 37.04%
Will Smith - 37.9%
'Tiny' Tim Mannah - 39.9%
Penis Terepo - 40.35%
David Gower - 44.6%

f**king losers!

Following these top 5 useless merkins there are a bunch of current eels sitting around 45-47% winning percentages

*edited and fixed Gower

Tiny Tim has a better record than I expected given that he's spent his entire career at a shit club. He also plays a mean ukelele.

 

[Noise]

Tiny Tim has a better record than I expected given that he's spent his entire career at a shit club. He also plays a mean ukelele.

When he became a permanent fixture in 2010 we became shit. Now that he's been f**ked off in 2019 we are becoming good again. Poor bastard.

 

[I'm a loser baby...]

When he became a permanent fixture in 2010 we became shit. Now that he's been f**ked off in 2019 we are becoming good again. Poor bastard.

It's a good thing he doesn't have feelings.

Despite him being on the outer I'm not convinced this is his last year. It probably is but I don't see it as the sure thing that most here assume it to be.

 

[Noise]

It's a good thing he doesn't have feelings.

Despite him being on the outer I'm not convinced this is his last year. It probably is but I don't see it as the sure thing that most here assume it to be.

It will be his last year with us that's for sure.

 

[Poupou Escobar]

Better chance of a winning games trying to accumulate a team of stars then your theory of 30 mediocre nobodies mate.

I just think you need mediocre nobodies in your top 17. Every premiership side has a couple.

 

[emjaycee]

It's a good thing he doesn't have feelings.

Despite him being on the outer I'm not convinced this is his last year. It probably is but I don't see it as the sure thing that most here assume it to be.

I reckon it will be his last year with a top 30 contract. He will get a job at the club and a Canterbury Cup contract to keep him playing and fit, and we then have an option to upgrade him should injuries decimate us throughout 2020 and the NRL give us an exemption.

 

[I'm a loser baby...]

I reckon it will be his last year with a top 30 contract. He will get a job at the club and a Canterbury Cup contract to keep him playing and fit, and we then have an option to upgrade him should injuries decimate us throughout 2020 and the NRL give us an exemption.

It would be nice to still have him and he be a one club player but that sounds like a longshot in terms of playing NRL. I think I'd rather see him turn out for another club for a year or even two, assuming someone wants him. And then be welcomed home.

 

[emjaycee]

It would be nice to still have him and he be a one club player but that sounds like a longshot in terms of playing NRL. I think I'd rather see him turn out for another club for a year or even two, assuming someone wants him. And then be welcomed home.

Yeah... nah

My hypothesis is much more likely.

 

[I'm a loser baby...]

Yeah... nah

My hypothesis is much more likely.

I don't doubt that.

 

[Gary Gutful]

Of course people would still complain. It's footy, so that goes with the territory. But it doesn't mean they'd prefer to not win a comp but have a team that makes the finals about half the time. For a club that hasn't won in over three decades our priority, even more than the other average clubs, should be delivering what the fans deserve.

Not at all costs. Impatient fans can eat a dick...or support WSW if they are too sooky to support the eels.

 

[Poupou Escobar]

He'll still be better than a lot of top 30 players next year.

 

[I'm a loser baby...]

Not at all costs. Impatient fans can eat a dick...or support WSW if they are too sooky to support the eels.

Do you really blame Eels fans for being impatient? The same fans that have supported their club through the longest premiership drought in the history of the modern game?

 

[I'm a loser baby...]

And it's not 'at all costs'... what's being suggested is simply shifting our approach to higher risk. Pretty simple really.

 

[Gary Gutful]

Do you really blame Eels fans for being impatient? The same fans that have supported their club through the longest premiership drought in the history of the modern game?

I get why some fans are impatient.

But managing a club is far more complicated than attempting to put in place short term solutions that immediately appease some impatient fans.

I think it's a moot point anyway. Unless we can magic TPAs out of multiple orifices (orifii?) it isn't going to happen.