Melon's Matchups RND 16 Chooks -V- Shetlands
Another week when the Chooks went down depleted, or their remaining "stars" failed to shine. Thankfully this Sh.ite of Origin stuff is almost over. This week the Chooks head to the Sand Pit to take on The Shetlands. The Chooks' star of the future halfback, Bansai Pipeline, has a bad feeling that the Shetlands will avenge the SOO loss on the Chooks. All I know is we play well up there, especially off a loss, and this is the game members of the CAS anticipate, as its a game he leads from the toolbelt, and generally gets our boys over the line. So what lies ahead....
1. Anthony Minichiello V Darren Lockyer - Absolutely stuffed on Maroon wool, "The Blue Moth" returns after a powerhouse SOO. He fluttered beautifully as usual, and showed a nice touch of his hybrid pedigree (Moth crossed with a dung beetle), when he absolutely smashed the QLD fullback to crash over for his try. That fullback was "Goodyear" who had an unhappy game getting the steel belted out of him, and made to look flat behind a beaten pack. The treadmeister is a champion though and will be out to at least stop "The Blue Moth" from over feeding on Maroon cardigans on Friday.
2. Eric Grothe V Stuart Kelly - The Chooks have been waiting for "Lil' Guru" to show the form his reputation brags about, and finally through replacing the Chooks origin stars, is grabbing this last chance with both fists. Looks like his head's finally screwed on right, and the turban fits, with some good performances in attack and defense in those last 2 chances he played in. Will take some stopping as he's starting to hitup very well, and the woman charged with that task is "Le Brock". The woman in Red and former wife of Steven Sea-Gull, and although we know her lips got her where she is now, can she hold a footy in them?
3. Shannon Hegarty V Michael Devere - "Latino Heat" tried hard in SOO II and showed some good running, hopefuly reproducing that attacking speed and strength against the Shetlands this week. He performed wonderfully last Origin, but unfortunately his moves werent as good this time due to some poor coreography from QLD halves "Fiance" and "Michael J Fox". Here's hoping these 2 muff the eistedford again with the Cuban Cueball on the other side of the ledger this week. His opponent is "Staple". Showed to be a cut above the rest with some gutsy performances of late, and will stick to the Maroubra Mirrorball like surgical tape.
4. Ryan Cross V Brent Tait - Starting to really improve in defense by making more tackles than he misses, "Quentin" is well on his way to becoming a bigger star than Mike Willisee made him. Is sniffing out loose balls, taking intercepts and feeding his outside man with good attacking passes, but the leg braces still impede the budding Gump. Facing yet another Shetland in a long line of QLD reps, "Hooter" is another that likes to sniff tries, although ends up with more sand up his ginormous nose than points next to his name. They really need to look at the surface in the Sand Pit...
5. Todd Byrne V Scott Minto - A little on the frayed side last week, "Carpet" had a dose od dropsies, and ended up getting used as a welcome mat. I sense a little pressure to perform with "Texas Ranger" on the bench now, but to be fair has been taking a lot of the resposibility in the backline covering for a couple of the Cockrels through these trying times. Facing one of the few Shetlands that'll be fresh, "NoFriends" is getting over the lonesome game that football can be, and is climbing up that try scorers ladder. Can be a handful, but is known to lose the plot when sledged, and something along the lines of "G'Day mate!" usually does the trick. Where's "The Mouth" when you need him?
6. Brad Fittler V Ben Ikin - An ordinary performance in the first half from "The Messiah" last week. Forgot he had communion, and once reminded, proceeded to bless the Rugby League community. Came close to performing another miracle but it wasnt to be. Facing a player who's strating to show his quality, or more precisely lack thereof. We all know why "Fiance" was kept after a 2 year lay off with injury, and if it wasnt for Caoch Smiley's grand kiddie, "Fiance" would have goooorn with The Bears.
7. Brett Finch V Shaun Berrigan - Not the best of times for "The Budgie" in the last couple of weeks. Looks a little egg bound, and the "Expert Wallsters" know it. Nothing a squirt of sunflower oil in his poo dispenser wont fix, and with the threat of a debut for Basai Pipeline off the bench, should get "The Budgie" nervous enough to drop more than a bombshell on the Shetlands this week. Facing a guy who as a junior showed loads of promise, but like his actor name-sake "Michael J Fox" is beginning to get the shakes in the prime of his career. Not even those elbow patched sports jackets and leather ties can take this kid back to the future.
8. Jayson Cayless V Shane Webke - "Captain Caveman" really tried hard last week, with an enormous amount of club swinging and hitups. Who was he trying to impress? The Tigpies?? Well rumour has it if he isnt signed back to the Chooks soon, the Tigpies may be after him. He's still a Chook, and a Flightless bird rep, and if he intends to rejoin his countrymen in the test team, needs a big one against so many Kangaroo forwards in the Shetlands lineup. The frustration showed in "Duke Nukem" in SOO2 with a niggle from "Easy Lover" making the PC great lose it and start hurling punches. I was looking for the BFG 9000 but things just didnt work out the way "Duke" wanted them to. More worries for him, as the new Lara Croft Tomb Raider program was announced for release this morning signalling more struggles for the Super VGA watrrior.
9. Craig Wing V Richard Swain - A good SOO series for "Cleo", but needs to get back to his brilliant best to lift thSe Chooks. Has shown to be the best attacking Hooker in the game, this will test him against one of the best defensive ones. " Swains World" has been up there in the tackling stats, and if "Cleo" can produce a solid defensive effort to match, no amount of moaning from Pack Horse or the Naughts fans can save "Butterarse".
10. Peter Cusack V Petro Civoniceva - The game of the year for a plumbing bookend. Always looks forward to the Shetland job, is stocked up on Winnie Blues, his tools are polished, and the bot are on for what promises to be his best performance yet. I dunno why he lifts up there, but he does. Maybe it has something to do with overtime and living away from home allowances. Facing the bowser buster "Petrol Seventycentsalitre", who is capable of causing many headaches with his fuming runs and high shots.
11. Michael Crocker V Gorden Tallis - The suspension of "Pommie Backpacker" sees "Barry" move into the starting lineup. Facing his team mate and QLD captain of only 2 nights ago, has to follow up with the aggression he showed, especially towards "The Blue Moth". He was onto the phone to Moth all week riding him about how he was going to smash him, and it was evident. But "Cromagnnon" is smarting from the SOO series loss, and the Chooks will be in danger if he decides to take it out on them.
12. Craig Fitzgibbon V Dane Carlaw - "Moondoggie" has had to date very solid Origin performances, highlighted by his usual high workload. The goalkicking Gigette lover, is welcomed back, and tiredness aside, needs to put in his average 30 tackles (1 missed, stats curtesy of http://www.therugbyleaguesite.com ) and lead the Chooks forwards if they are to dominate the Shetlands. His opponent "Coleslaw", hasnt scored in the Origin series to date, and a series clinching last second effort is no good to him now. Will be looking to improve on the try he scored against the Chooks in Sydney, by actually being onside for this one.
13. Luke Ricketson V Tonie Carrol - The loud pleaser in the bedroom, has turned into the quiet achiever on the field. "Stud for Life", again topped the defensive workload in Origin, and has been missed by the Chooks. Is welcomed back as he faces "Burnett" who just hasnt coped with the increased workload that entails being a lock. I cant see him making a dent in the CVhooks defenses especially since The Matraville Manpower is back.
The Bench
Mullet V Thunderbird Cheffeur
Cuzzy Bro V Whiz
Danger Will V Blood Nut
Texas Ranger V Jerry
Not likely to see these 2 as they lineup on paper. Origin takes some out of you, and 2 nights on, these heavyweights will be stuffed. The younger guys , along with players like "The Messiah" and "Budgie" need to lift for the Chooks to continue on their Brisbane winning ways. And they will...
Chooks by 8
Another week when the Chooks went down depleted, or their remaining "stars" failed to shine. Thankfully this Sh.ite of Origin stuff is almost over. This week the Chooks head to the Sand Pit to take on The Shetlands. The Chooks' star of the future halfback, Bansai Pipeline, has a bad feeling that the Shetlands will avenge the SOO loss on the Chooks. All I know is we play well up there, especially off a loss, and this is the game members of the CAS anticipate, as its a game he leads from the toolbelt, and generally gets our boys over the line. So what lies ahead....
1. Anthony Minichiello V Darren Lockyer - Absolutely stuffed on Maroon wool, "The Blue Moth" returns after a powerhouse SOO. He fluttered beautifully as usual, and showed a nice touch of his hybrid pedigree (Moth crossed with a dung beetle), when he absolutely smashed the QLD fullback to crash over for his try. That fullback was "Goodyear" who had an unhappy game getting the steel belted out of him, and made to look flat behind a beaten pack. The treadmeister is a champion though and will be out to at least stop "The Blue Moth" from over feeding on Maroon cardigans on Friday.
2. Eric Grothe V Stuart Kelly - The Chooks have been waiting for "Lil' Guru" to show the form his reputation brags about, and finally through replacing the Chooks origin stars, is grabbing this last chance with both fists. Looks like his head's finally screwed on right, and the turban fits, with some good performances in attack and defense in those last 2 chances he played in. Will take some stopping as he's starting to hitup very well, and the woman charged with that task is "Le Brock". The woman in Red and former wife of Steven Sea-Gull, and although we know her lips got her where she is now, can she hold a footy in them?
3. Shannon Hegarty V Michael Devere - "Latino Heat" tried hard in SOO II and showed some good running, hopefuly reproducing that attacking speed and strength against the Shetlands this week. He performed wonderfully last Origin, but unfortunately his moves werent as good this time due to some poor coreography from QLD halves "Fiance" and "Michael J Fox". Here's hoping these 2 muff the eistedford again with the Cuban Cueball on the other side of the ledger this week. His opponent is "Staple". Showed to be a cut above the rest with some gutsy performances of late, and will stick to the Maroubra Mirrorball like surgical tape.
4. Ryan Cross V Brent Tait - Starting to really improve in defense by making more tackles than he misses, "Quentin" is well on his way to becoming a bigger star than Mike Willisee made him. Is sniffing out loose balls, taking intercepts and feeding his outside man with good attacking passes, but the leg braces still impede the budding Gump. Facing yet another Shetland in a long line of QLD reps, "Hooter" is another that likes to sniff tries, although ends up with more sand up his ginormous nose than points next to his name. They really need to look at the surface in the Sand Pit...
5. Todd Byrne V Scott Minto - A little on the frayed side last week, "Carpet" had a dose od dropsies, and ended up getting used as a welcome mat. I sense a little pressure to perform with "Texas Ranger" on the bench now, but to be fair has been taking a lot of the resposibility in the backline covering for a couple of the Cockrels through these trying times. Facing one of the few Shetlands that'll be fresh, "NoFriends" is getting over the lonesome game that football can be, and is climbing up that try scorers ladder. Can be a handful, but is known to lose the plot when sledged, and something along the lines of "G'Day mate!" usually does the trick. Where's "The Mouth" when you need him?
6. Brad Fittler V Ben Ikin - An ordinary performance in the first half from "The Messiah" last week. Forgot he had communion, and once reminded, proceeded to bless the Rugby League community. Came close to performing another miracle but it wasnt to be. Facing a player who's strating to show his quality, or more precisely lack thereof. We all know why "Fiance" was kept after a 2 year lay off with injury, and if it wasnt for Caoch Smiley's grand kiddie, "Fiance" would have goooorn with The Bears.
7. Brett Finch V Shaun Berrigan - Not the best of times for "The Budgie" in the last couple of weeks. Looks a little egg bound, and the "Expert Wallsters" know it. Nothing a squirt of sunflower oil in his poo dispenser wont fix, and with the threat of a debut for Basai Pipeline off the bench, should get "The Budgie" nervous enough to drop more than a bombshell on the Shetlands this week. Facing a guy who as a junior showed loads of promise, but like his actor name-sake "Michael J Fox" is beginning to get the shakes in the prime of his career. Not even those elbow patched sports jackets and leather ties can take this kid back to the future.
8. Jayson Cayless V Shane Webke - "Captain Caveman" really tried hard last week, with an enormous amount of club swinging and hitups. Who was he trying to impress? The Tigpies?? Well rumour has it if he isnt signed back to the Chooks soon, the Tigpies may be after him. He's still a Chook, and a Flightless bird rep, and if he intends to rejoin his countrymen in the test team, needs a big one against so many Kangaroo forwards in the Shetlands lineup. The frustration showed in "Duke Nukem" in SOO2 with a niggle from "Easy Lover" making the PC great lose it and start hurling punches. I was looking for the BFG 9000 but things just didnt work out the way "Duke" wanted them to. More worries for him, as the new Lara Croft Tomb Raider program was announced for release this morning signalling more struggles for the Super VGA watrrior.
9. Craig Wing V Richard Swain - A good SOO series for "Cleo", but needs to get back to his brilliant best to lift thSe Chooks. Has shown to be the best attacking Hooker in the game, this will test him against one of the best defensive ones. " Swains World" has been up there in the tackling stats, and if "Cleo" can produce a solid defensive effort to match, no amount of moaning from Pack Horse or the Naughts fans can save "Butterarse".
10. Peter Cusack V Petro Civoniceva - The game of the year for a plumbing bookend. Always looks forward to the Shetland job, is stocked up on Winnie Blues, his tools are polished, and the bot are on for what promises to be his best performance yet. I dunno why he lifts up there, but he does. Maybe it has something to do with overtime and living away from home allowances. Facing the bowser buster "Petrol Seventycentsalitre", who is capable of causing many headaches with his fuming runs and high shots.
11. Michael Crocker V Gorden Tallis - The suspension of "Pommie Backpacker" sees "Barry" move into the starting lineup. Facing his team mate and QLD captain of only 2 nights ago, has to follow up with the aggression he showed, especially towards "The Blue Moth". He was onto the phone to Moth all week riding him about how he was going to smash him, and it was evident. But "Cromagnnon" is smarting from the SOO series loss, and the Chooks will be in danger if he decides to take it out on them.
12. Craig Fitzgibbon V Dane Carlaw - "Moondoggie" has had to date very solid Origin performances, highlighted by his usual high workload. The goalkicking Gigette lover, is welcomed back, and tiredness aside, needs to put in his average 30 tackles (1 missed, stats curtesy of http://www.therugbyleaguesite.com ) and lead the Chooks forwards if they are to dominate the Shetlands. His opponent "Coleslaw", hasnt scored in the Origin series to date, and a series clinching last second effort is no good to him now. Will be looking to improve on the try he scored against the Chooks in Sydney, by actually being onside for this one.
13. Luke Ricketson V Tonie Carrol - The loud pleaser in the bedroom, has turned into the quiet achiever on the field. "Stud for Life", again topped the defensive workload in Origin, and has been missed by the Chooks. Is welcomed back as he faces "Burnett" who just hasnt coped with the increased workload that entails being a lock. I cant see him making a dent in the CVhooks defenses especially since The Matraville Manpower is back.
The Bench
Mullet V Thunderbird Cheffeur
Cuzzy Bro V Whiz
Danger Will V Blood Nut
Texas Ranger V Jerry
Not likely to see these 2 as they lineup on paper. Origin takes some out of you, and 2 nights on, these heavyweights will be stuffed. The younger guys , along with players like "The Messiah" and "Budgie" need to lift for the Chooks to continue on their Brisbane winning ways. And they will...
Chooks by 8
