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Mental Health

King-Gutho94

Bench
Messages
4,188
I must admit since GF day its just been a shit show for me.

Its been a tough few months for me since the GF my father has had to attend like 6 funerals in the past 3 months and another couple this week.

Friends he grew up with or indirectly knew through his travels or a mates father and a family friend all passed away since September.

Just seems like a lot of people have lost someone this year its been a rough trot.

On top of that Dad has an operation next week to remove his prostate so he will be knocked around for Xmas and my mother had been in hospital for a month with a horrible infection in the foot after the steel rod slipped out that got operated on 3 years back so mum is facing a long rehabilitation on the foot.

Throw in the fact that work is just miserable i am putting in my notice next week as i waited for my 10 years to tick over which was last week so I can take my long service leave on the way out in mid January.

I was waiting for mid next year when i am travelling around Europe & Canada for 2 months but simply another 4 months in this job would kill my mental health.

I am seeing 2023 as a fresh start and a clean slate - will have a new job and will be travelling a fair bit so happier times ahead.
 

Incorrect

Coach
Messages
10,153
I must admit since GF day its just been a shit show for me.

Its been a tough few months for me since the GF my father has had to attend like 6 funerals in the past 3 months and another couple this week.

Friends he grew up with or indirectly knew through his travels or a mates father and a family friend all passed away since September.

Just seems like a lot of people have lost someone this year its been a rough trot.

On top of that Dad has an operation next week to remove his prostate so he will be knocked around for Xmas and my mother had been in hospital for a month with a horrible infection in the foot after the steel rod slipped out that got operated on 3 years back so mum is facing a long rehabilitation on the foot.

Throw in the fact that work is just miserable i am putting in my notice next week as i waited for my 10 years to tick over which was last week so I can take my long service leave on the way out in mid January.

I was waiting for mid next year when i am travelling around Europe & Canada for 2 months but simply another 4 months in this job would kill my mental health.

I am seeing 2023 as a fresh start and a clean slate - will have a new job and will be travelling a fair bit so happier times ahead.
Rollercoaster there no doubt about it mate.... Best of luck with the new beginning on the work front.
 

King-Gutho94

Bench
Messages
4,188
Rollercoaster there no doubt about it mate.... Best of luck with the new beginning on the work front.
Thanks mate.

Should be good mate i plan on moving into the family business so should be a smooth transition.

Helps with the flexibility as well haha.

Its not something that was on my radar as I liked my doing my own thing but circumstances have changed and i suppose i am ready to make to leap & grow and get better plus helps when you are wanted and need help.

I have worked at the company i am currently at now since i was 18 and moved up from basically the bottom to as high as i can go with a variety of roles.

So i have enough experience now that i know what i am walking into with plenty still to learn at the same time.
 

Gronk

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
67,937
I must admit since GF day its just been a shit show for me.

Its been a tough few months for me since the GF my father has had to attend like 6 funerals in the past 3 months and another couple this week.

Friends he grew up with or indirectly knew through his travels or a mates father and a family friend all passed away since September.

Just seems like a lot of people have lost someone this year its been a rough trot.

On top of that Dad has an operation next week to remove his prostate so he will be knocked around for Xmas and my mother had been in hospital for a month with a horrible infection in the foot after the steel rod slipped out that got operated on 3 years back so mum is facing a long rehabilitation on the foot.

Throw in the fact that work is just miserable i am putting in my notice next week as i waited for my 10 years to tick over which was last week so I can take my long service leave on the way out in mid January.

I was waiting for mid next year when i am travelling around Europe & Canada for 2 months but simply another 4 months in this job would kill my mental health.

I am seeing 2023 as a fresh start and a clean slate - will have a new job and will be travelling a fair bit so happier times ahead.
Good on you for being so resilient. It's not easy to bounce back for many these days.

What's your best tips for when you are faced with challenges ?
 

Soren Lorenson

First Grade
Messages
5,830
Same same... Been a pretty shitty year tbh. Eels making the GF was a positive, just a pity we happened to have to play probably THE most dominant team of the NRL era in the decider....

Had a couple of close mates lose their fathers to cancer this year which was quite sobering and made me realise I'm lucky to still have my folks around...

Hopefully 2023 finally represents a bright new beginning from the pandemic and we can re-capture normality...
Yeah, I'm not sure about you but I'm nearly 45 which means aging parents plus teenage kids for a lot of my peers. Life pressure is hard enough but chuck in a couple or a few spanners like a death in the family or an ongoing illness and it can tip some people over the edge. I always tell myself that there are plenty of people worse off, but I've learnt that can be a harmful attitude if it becomes a reason for not reaching out for the help you need.
 
Messages
11,438
I’ve had my life saved twice by complete strangers. Both made an effort when they didn’t have to.

It’s a very humbling experience.

It was a while ago before I had kids and looking back I’m glad I was saved so they could be born and have lived and thank goodness, still alive and driving us nuts!

Every Sunday at St Marys, the addicts, homeless and seniors wait in the square and this little truck drives up and gives away food and milk etc.

There’s no sermon, you don’t have to be trans species etc, they don’t care if you’re a drunk etc.

They just hand out stuff, everyone gets the same and drive away.

I gave them $10 for petrol once, they said thanks and got back to work.

So if you’re in a corner, if you can manage it, some help to the poor stranger might be good for the soul.

And there’s great people in the charity sector. King Wally fell in love and left his whole family for one such angel. Massive call.
 
Messages
11,438
Forget about your "feelings" and just get the f**king job done. Applies for everything in my opinion.

That works for me.
Yeah but sometimes the feelings overcome.

Motivation zeros out. Sit in the car, chill, gather some thoughts. Moderate expectations of people. Some of the self interest out there is next level.

Sometimes that helps too.
 
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Twizzle

Administrator
Staff member
Messages
146,534
I was reading an article about anxiety and stress not long back.

Before we have to face a confronting situation we tend to overthink all the possible outcomes and we also tend to focus on the negative and worst outcomes and get even more stressed.

The article quoted a statistic that around 90% of the things that we worry about the most, never eventuate so we find ourselves being stressed or anxious over something that never happens.

When I go back over the daily/weekly issues I have to deal with personally and professionally, I find this to be quite accurate.
 

EelsFan05

Bench
Messages
2,609
I've faced a tough three years after retiring from a 15 year career in a highly stressful and traumatic profession. I've been blessed to have been saved from some dark places by people close to me.

I find a combination of professional help, self care, and teaching myself to enjoy the small things (amongst many others) have helped with my ongoing recovery. I was raised in a household where feelings, 'quacks' and mental health were taboo subjects. Because I resisted help, it cost me my marriage. This new path has been a complete culture shift for me.

Don't get me wrong, there are days when I find it hard to get out of bed. There are days where I work myself to exhaustion trying to outrun the worries in my mind. But there are days now when I sit back with my kids, enjoy the moment and let my mind go blank. This was something I would never have contemplated previously.

My next goal is coming to peace with my choice of football team and the never ending stress they inflict🤣
 
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Messages
11,438
I've faced a tough three years after retiring from a 15 year career in a highly stressful and traumatic profession. I've been blessed to have been saved from some dark places by people close to me.

I find a combination of professional help, self care, and teaching myself to enjoy the small things (amongst many others) have helped with my ongoing recovery. I was raised in a household where feelings, 'quacks' and mental health were taboo subjects. Because I resisted help, it cost me my marriage. This new path has been a complete culture shift for me.

Don't get me wrong, there are days when I find it hard to get out of bed. There are days where I work myself to exhaustion trying to outrun the worries in my mind. But there are days now when I sit back with my kids, enjoy the moment and let my mind go blank. This was something I would never have contemplated previously.

My next goal is coming to peace with my choice of football team and the never ending stress they inflict🤣
Great post.

A lot of people with no exposure or experience with counselling etc may not understand that there are some effective remedies out there.

And not all of them rely on medications, but training your mind to handle things in certain ways.

So I met a young guy who gave up an addiction to the worse kind of illicit drug by straight out counselling by a good psychologist.

I remember all the silly co vid cures on the net when it first broke out and people were scared.

A friend of mine, a retired academic in the USA, said your best means of prevention was that full body suit plus a proper clinic to gear up and gear down etc. Not foolproof even then.

So experts are a good start.
 
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Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
55,119
I was reading an article about anxiety and stress not long back.

Before we have to face a confronting situation we tend to overthink all the possible outcomes and we also tend to focus on the negative and worst outcomes and get even more stressed.

The article quoted a statistic that around 90% of the things that we worry about the most, never eventuate so we find ourselves being stressed or anxious over something that never happens.

When I go back over the daily/weekly issues I have to deal with personally and professionally, I find this to be quite accurate.


When I was working for Kennards Self Storage, they did a training module on how to have difficult conversations (one of the things we have to do when managing a KSS centre is to make the call to sell the contents of an unpaid unit).

The facilitator mentioned exactly that - we have a tendency to think of the absolute worst case scenario when faced with a tough conversation, and in 90% of cases, it never eventuates.

He also mentioned that people have a tendency to focus on the future, and the past - statistics show that we spend, on average, over 75% of our time thinking about the future, or the past, and not enough time focussing on the here, and now.

Sobering words.
 
Messages
11,438
When I was working for Kennards Self Storage, they did a training module on how to have difficult conversations (one of the things we have to do when managing a KSS centre is to make the call to sell the contents of an unpaid unit).

The facilitator mentioned exactly that - we have a tendency to think of the absolute worst case scenario when faced with a tough conversation, and in 90% of cases, it never eventuates.

He also mentioned that people have a tendency to focus on the future, and the past - statistics show that we spend, on average, over 75% of our time thinking about the future, or the past, and not enough time focussing on the here, and now.

Sobering words.
Yeah, I’m kind of on-board there.

When I am running late for something in the am, say driving, I will cover the clock and just focus on the traffic.

You can’t speed in Sydney bumper to bumper but you can focus on lanes and so forth.

You’d be surprised as to how effective this is to speed up your journey.

Looking at the clock, fretting and cursing, it’s not going to make your journey any faster, just distract you.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
55,119
Yeah, I’m kind of on-board there.

When I am running late for something in the am, say driving, I will cover the clock and just focus on the traffic.

You can’t speed in Sydney bumper to bumper but you can focus on lanes and so forth.

You’d be surprised as to how effective this is to speed up your journey.

Looking at the clock, fretting and cursing, it’s not going to make your journey any faster, just distract you.

Absolutely, mate.

And it really resonated with me that point about thinking of the past, and the future, over living in the present - you cannot change the past, you might be able to change your future... But you can definitely control your present.
 
Messages
11,438
Absolutely, mate.

And it really resonated with me that point about thinking of the past, and the future, over living in the present - you cannot change the past, you might be able to change your future... But you can definitely control your present.
Yeah, I’m going to try to adhere a bit closer to the idea tomorrow at work. See how I go.

Im teaching the daughter to drive, her first go was last weekend. She reached 20kph and thought she was fangio, she cleaned up a few overhanging branches in the carpark and her foot slipped off the brake onto the accelerator and we got intimate with the kerb. Daddy driving school, she’s all good…but I’m biting my tongue and losing my hair faster than Bea.

I hear another voice in the car by surprise and find out her friend is on the phone on FaceTime in the backseat. So much for focus! That’s not happening again I can assure you.

Im tough. Her penalty for that indiscretion was no signing of her driving book!

Cruel to be kind and hopefully save her and someone else’s life one day. The car is a lethal weapon. Especially the 2jz 3 litre engine she’s driving.
 
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