I hope everyone is doing ok. I havent posted on this particular thread much as the situation I'm currently in has been too hard to write and share and I posted in other threads to take my mind off whats happened. I though I'd share what's happened. I did post earlier in June about my work situation, taking leave due to stress on my mental health, and havent returned since. My work has allowed me to focus on myself and take time off. Although its been almost 4 months, things have not improved and things seem to go backwards.
Last week I received some really devastating news that a good friend and collegue of mine passed away at a young age, in his 40s. Since then its been so hard to get my head around as to how and why this happened. This person is an absolute champion, doesnt say a bad word about anyone, easy to talk to and would always whats happening in your life. Its hard to use stuff in past tense because part of me feels he's still with us. When I found out about the news, I felt like I was in a bad dream that I need to wake up from. Now that is has been almost a full week, I've been getting messages and phone calls from my other friends and collegues and its hard to get the words out. I spoke to one person and we've shared some good memories but only a few as we both are still shocked and devastated.
I haven't been told how he died but gathering from the emails and counselor information I received it may have something to do with mental health which I wasnt aware he had. This bloke and I are quite similiar with interests, we love a beer and quiet with conversations because we tend to listen to other people. Both single and both in jobs that are paid similar. Although we didnt have this particular conversation, I have told other people how Ive been quite down with a lot and wish my life was better. A better job, partner with kids, steady life with no real stresses. I often wonder if he felt the same. What worries me is that I may go down this path which I do not want to. I'm single, late 30s, no kids or partner but I have siblings and their kids that look out for me.
When I had a phone conversation with someone yesterday, I cried a little and then my nephew woke up from his sleep, I picked him up, hugged him and started crying. He's too young to understand whats going on but he hugged back, he must've known something was up.
I will miss this friend of mine because he's a champion. We've always had that friend that looks out for others and enjoys your company. The last time I saw him was a couple months ago, we shared a beers with others and made sure I was ok because he knew what I was going through. That's the sort of person he is, looking out for each other.
We never talked about work because it was too stressful to talk about so it was always about Rugba Leage, other sport, comedy shows. So I'll miss those conversations
Thankfully its still the NRL season and I have other stuff to talk about and cheer me up a little, otherwise it wouldve been hard to post anything on these forums.
It feels hard but also nice to share this. I'm sure everyone here has that sort of friend that's always asks those questions " How are you? " How was your weekend?. They shout you drinks, never argue with you, even if they follow another NRL team lol.
www.ruok.org.au
