Non Footy Chat Thread II

[Bazal]

Oh I get it, they mean ‘attract her’ but old mate thought it was ‘a tractor’.

A f**ken tractor! I bet you there was some hilarity that ensued when he realised they weren’t talking about a tractor!

Absolute ball tearer Pete!

Personally as a man of Irish descent I'm tremendously offended.

But as a man of Scottish descent I say f**k the Irish merkin.

 

[Barry O'Speedwagon]

Oh I get it, they mean ‘attract her’ but old mate thought it was ‘a tractor’.

A f**ken tractor! I bet you there was some hilarity that ensued when he realised they weren’t talking about a tractor!

Absolute ball tearer Pete!

I think the joke falls down because he's not technically doing something sexy TO the tractor. He's just dancing in front of it. If he had rubbed his old fella in really high grade engine oil and stuck it in exhaust while yelling 'take it all bitch' that might have made sense.

 

[hindy111]

Oh I get it, they mean ‘attract her’ but old mate thought it was ‘a tractor’.

A f**ken tractor! I bet you there was some hilarity that ensued when he realised they weren’t talking about a tractor!

Absolute ball tearer Pete!

Be careful you only have 3 left.

 

[Barry O'Speedwagon]

So, I'm in Perth for work at the moment. I went down to the restaurant attached to the apartments I'm staying at to have an early dinner. Not long after I sat down, two very large ladies in their early 50s arrived and announced that they had a booking for 5 people. They were show to a table. One of them then told the other 'I know there's only 4 of us, but you're so f**kin fat that I though we'd get a bigger table if we booked for 5'. After 10 minutes their co-diners hadn't arrived. The two large ladies then ordered a kids meal each. I thought 'Oh they must be doing it tough'. But no, the kids meals were to tide them over until their friends arrived and then they ordered a regular 3 course meal. FMD.

 

[Bazal]

So, I'm in Perth for work at the moment. I went down to the restaurant attached to the apartments I'm staying at to have an early dinner. Not long after I sat down, two very large ladies in their early 50s arrived and announced that they had a booking for 5 people. They were show to a table. One of them then told the other 'I know there's only 4 of us, but you're so f**kin fat that I though we'd get a bigger table if we booked for 5'. After 10 minutes their co-diners hadn't arrived. The two large ladies then ordered a kids meal each. I thought 'Oh they must be doing it tough'. But no, the kids meals were to tide them over until their friends arrived and then they ordered a regular 3 course meal. FMD.

But they'll be sweet if they ordered Diet Cokes.

 

[Gary Gutful]

So, I'm in Perth for work at the moment. I went down to the restaurant attached to the apartments I'm staying at to have an early dinner. Not long after I sat down, two very large ladies in their early 50s arrived and announced that they had a booking for 5 people. They were show to a table. One of them then told the other 'I know there's only 4 of us, but you're so f**kin fat that I though we'd get a bigger table if we booked for 5'. After 10 minutes their co-diners hadn't arrived. The two large ladies then ordered a kids meal each. I thought 'Oh they must be doing it tough'. But no, the kids meals were to tide them over until their friends arrived and then they ordered a regular 3 course meal. FMD.

I really don't understand what you have against Venus and Serena Williams.

 

[hindy111]

So, I'm in Perth for work at the moment. I went down to the restaurant attached to the apartments I'm staying at to have an early dinner. Not long after I sat down, two very large ladies in their early 50s arrived and announced that they had a booking for 5 people. They were show to a table. One of them then told the other 'I know there's only 4 of us, but you're so f**kin fat that I though we'd get a bigger table if we booked for 5'. After 10 minutes their co-diners hadn't arrived. The two large ladies then ordered a kids meal each. I thought 'Oh they must be doing it tough'. But no, the kids meals were to tide them over until their friends arrived and then they ordered a regular 3 course meal. FMD.

I dont get the joke? Where is the punch line.

 

[hindy111]

And more concerning, if its a true story. Why where you paying such close attention to two fat old 50ylds?
Fetish?

 

[Barry O'Speedwagon]

I dont get the joke? Where is the punch line.

Not a joke. Just an observation.

 

[hindy111]

This girls tooth is bugging me. Its seems to be slightly rotting. Slowly turning brown. I have to kiss that. No consideration for other peoples feelings.

 

[Barry O'Speedwagon]

And more concerning, if its a true story. Why where you paying such close attention to two fat old 50ylds?
Fetish?

We were the only 3 people in the restaurant.

 

[Barry O'Speedwagon]

This girls tooth is bugging me. Its seems to be slightly rotting. Slowly turning brown. I have to kiss that. No consideration for other peoples feelings.

Kiss the other side of her mouth.

 

[hindy111]

Not a joke. Just an observation.

That fat people shouldn't eat? Maybe there life is shit and they just dont care anymore. The only thing they enjoy is eating. I used to drink coffee and was to extremely obese couple. Guts hangn out and all. Nice people untill they used to start rubbing my back for no reason . It went from a Hi to a pat on shoulder to this greeting where my back was rubbed and two hands on shoulders. I dont even like shaking hands ffs and here I am trying to drink a coffee being massaged in public by this fat couple.

 

[hindy111]

Kiss the other side of her mouth.

She shittn me with her vulgar language. Considering ending this charade. Called me a lollipoper this morning.

 

[Bazal]

That fat people shouldn't eat? Maybe there life is shit and they just dont care anymore. The only thing they enjoy is eating. I used to drink coffee and was to extremely obese couple. Guts hangn out and all. Nice people untill they used to start rubbing my back for no reason . It went from a Hi to a pat on shoulder to this greeting where my back was rubbed and two hands on shoulders. I dont even like shaking hands ffs and here I am trying to drink a coffee being massaged in public by this fat couple.

.....sounds like Barry isn't the one with a fetish

 

[hindy111]

Rooster sucker = lollipop

 

[Barry O'Speedwagon]

That fat people shouldn't eat? Maybe there life is shit and they just dont care anymore. The only thing they enjoy is eating. I used to drink coffee and was to extremely obese couple. Guts hangn out and all. Nice people untill they used to start rubbing my back for no reason . It went from a Hi to a pat on shoulder to this greeting where my back was rubbed and two hands on shoulders. I dont even like shaking hands ffs and here I am trying to drink a coffee being massaged in public by this fat couple.

No. That it's probably not necessary to have a kids meal before a (large) 3 course meal just coz your mates are 10 minutes late. I'm no saint, I'm about 5 kgs overweight. I just found this occasion quite amusing.....one minute I was thinking 'well those kids meals aren't going to fill them up', next minute 'oh those kids meals were the canapes'.

 

[Barry O'Speedwagon]

.....sounds like Barry isn't the one with a fetish

Well, not any more, they went like the clappers.

 

[Gary Gutful]

No. That it's probably not necessary to have a kids meal before a (large) 3 course meal just coz your mates are 10 minutes late. I'm no saint, I'm about 5 kgs overweight. I just found this occasion quite amusing.....one minute I was thinking 'well those kids meals aren't going to fill them up', next minute 'oh those kids meals were the canapes'.

5kgs overweight?

You fat merkin.

 

[hindy111]

100% true story when I first joined the gym.
There was an ambulance outfront. I walk up the stairs. At top was an overweight girl passed out with ambulance officers.
Unsure if she got to top of stairs and collapsed or had done a work out. I felt really bad for her. I mean she decided to do something about weight. And that happend.
Poor girl must of been embarrased.