PENRITH recruit Tom Humble knows what it's like when ASADA comes knocking on your front door. During 2010, Humble - playing for Parramatta's feeder club Wentworthville - tested positive to a banned stimulant, methylhexaneamine, given to him by a club trainer. He served a 10-month suspension through 2011 before being cleared by the NSWRL anti-doping tribunal - but only now is the hurt starting to subside.
Back then, Humble revealed that he couldn't watch rugby league on television and feared his career might never resume.
"It was a tough period - there was a time there when I thought I mightn't play again," Humble said yesterday. "Every day now when it gets tough I think about that time and how hard it was.
"I appreciate rugby league every day. It definitely made my skin a bit thicker. At times people might take rugby league for granted but I don't do that anymore. As a kid it is all you think about, it's all you want to do (play NRL). I was worried too because I had nothing else behind me. I was panicking there for a while.
"There were times when it was hard to believe. Once the season started, it really set in that I wasn't playing anymore.
"Around rounds 15 or 16 my positive frame of mind definitely started to decline.
"It even got tough to watch the games, especially involving guys I had played with and against. They were playing first grade and living the dream and I was sitting at home thinking it might be done for me."
After an inconsistent stint at Wests Tigers last year, Humble is re-building his career and will play for Penrith against Souths this Sunday at Centrebet Stadium.
Although Humble knows Souths will be tough, he also knows nothing could be as devastating as a drugs ban.
"Had it been two years (suspension) out of the game, it would have been tough to come back to a good level of rugby league," Humble said.
"There was adversity I had to get through. It made me appreciate my opportunities more. At 21 you think you're going to play rugby league forever. It then hits you it might be over any day. Then you have to have a good think about where you are in life.
"It was definitely an accident on both counts - myself and the trainer's at the time.
"There were no bad intentions. That is why myself and (ex-teammate) Brendan Oake were found innocent in the end. There was no deliberate wrongdoing."
Asked about the current drama, Humble said: "There is a different story - I don't really want to comment on it because I'm not in their shoes.
"But they are in a tough situation. It's different to mine - it's a lot more publicised."
Panthers coach Ivan Cleary was taking little notice of the ASADA investigation.
"Right from the start I have been blissfully ignorant about it," Cleary said. "I don't want to comment."