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27 people shivered in the cold as their captor, some obese nutcase calling himself Santa Claus, walked slowly up and down the line they'd been forced to form by AK47 wielding midgets.
"This is a fight to the death," the grizzled old man assured them, "And you're going to be providing me with not only entertainment, but money in the form of PPV revenue".
They were all naked. The icy wind and snow whipped at their skin like a thousand tiny teeth. Some of them cried. Others vowed revenge.
"Let it not be said that I am not a fair and caring master," 'Santa' continued, I'm willing to give the winner a handsome reward for emerging triumphant".
Very few eyes lit up at this. Right now they just wanted to get out of the cold. Their clothes and possession, bundled up over by a roaring fire, were all they really desired.
"In a moment I'm going to fire the opening shot. You'll be given time to collect your belongings and disperse into the cold before the game officially starts. After that, it's every man for himself, herself, or itself".
"You can't do this!" one of them shoved aside the Elf guarding him and stepped forward, "I'll kill you!"
One of the Elves rushed at him with a candy cane raised, but he stepped nimbly aside and buried his foot in the poor thing's tiny, peppermint flavoured gonads. It doubled over with a startled cry.
"You're next, old man," the man said as he plowed through the snow with madness in his eyes. The next Elf was crushed Sonny-Bill Williams style, and the third had its face turned to jelly by a well aimed punt.
Misanthrope laughed maniacally as he came face to face with the man claiming to be Santa.
The old man put a bullet between his eyes.
"Anybody else want to object?" Santa continued, even as Misanthrope's lifeless corpse dropped to the snow and twitched spasmodically.
Nobody spoke up.
"Then get f**king moving!"
------------
You know the rules, guys.
---------
Player List
5. KeepingTheFaith. Claire Bennett, Cult of Queen Aligned Cheerleader.
10. Smiley. The Dovakhiin, Town Aligned Dragonborn.
11. Frederick. Freddie Mercury's Mustache, Cult of Queen Aligned Mustache.
13. RHCP. Jason Maher, Cult of Queen Aligned Creator of Diablo Mafia.
14. Ozzy. Red Dog, Town Aligned Faithful Mutt.
17. Bazzi. Jason Maher, Town Aligned All Around Good Guy.
21. StGeorgeBull. Ron Burgundy, Town Aligned 70s Newsman.
Dead
1. whall15. Hank Scorpio, Independently Aligned Evil Genius.
2. soc123_au. Idi Amin, Mafia Aligned Evil Dictator.
3. Monk. A Deck of Cards, Town Aligned Deck of Cards.
4. Dutchy. Don Corleone, Mafia Aligned Don of the Mafia.
4. Dutchy. Michael Corleone, Mafia Aligned Son of the Don.
6. SGLC. Pam Poovey, Town Aligned Head of HR.
7. Drew-Sta. The Cheshire Cat, Mafia Aligned Kooky Cat.
8. afinalsin666. Jason Maher, FFB Aligned Unkillable Merkin.
9. Beeker. Crazy/Hot Chick, Independently Aligned Femme Fatale.
12. Apey. Bunk Moreland, Town Aligned Alcoholic Homicide Detective.
15. DragonPunk. Cristiano Ronaldo, Town Aligned Football Star.
16. Parra Pride. Luck Gandor, Town Aligned Immortal Gangster.
18. 9701. Paul Walker's Ghost, Mafia Aligned 'Too Soon' Joke.
19. Bazal. The Pint That Glassed Piggy Riddell, Town Aligned Malicious Glass.
20. butchmcdick. Rodney Ruxin, Town Aligned Foul-Mouthed Jew.
22. Coby. Sportive Cupid, FFB Aligned Loose Vagina.
23. BunniesMan. Joe Pesci, Mafia Aligned Bumbling Sidekick.
24. Rebel. Religion, Cult of Queen Aligned Mass Delusion.
25. Pugzley. Cliffhanger, Mafia Aligned Horny Crazy Bitch.
26. Dragon2010. Tony Abbott, Town Aligned Misunderstood Merkin.
27. Misanthrope. Dutchy, Town Aligned Giver of Head to Mafia Coordinators.
---------
It is now night. Go go go!
"This is a fight to the death," the grizzled old man assured them, "And you're going to be providing me with not only entertainment, but money in the form of PPV revenue".
They were all naked. The icy wind and snow whipped at their skin like a thousand tiny teeth. Some of them cried. Others vowed revenge.
"Let it not be said that I am not a fair and caring master," 'Santa' continued, I'm willing to give the winner a handsome reward for emerging triumphant".
Very few eyes lit up at this. Right now they just wanted to get out of the cold. Their clothes and possession, bundled up over by a roaring fire, were all they really desired.
"In a moment I'm going to fire the opening shot. You'll be given time to collect your belongings and disperse into the cold before the game officially starts. After that, it's every man for himself, herself, or itself".
"You can't do this!" one of them shoved aside the Elf guarding him and stepped forward, "I'll kill you!"
One of the Elves rushed at him with a candy cane raised, but he stepped nimbly aside and buried his foot in the poor thing's tiny, peppermint flavoured gonads. It doubled over with a startled cry.
"You're next, old man," the man said as he plowed through the snow with madness in his eyes. The next Elf was crushed Sonny-Bill Williams style, and the third had its face turned to jelly by a well aimed punt.
Misanthrope laughed maniacally as he came face to face with the man claiming to be Santa.
The old man put a bullet between his eyes.
Misanthrope is dead. He was Dutchy, Town Aligned Guy Who Gives Head to Mafia Coordinators.
"Anybody else want to object?" Santa continued, even as Misanthrope's lifeless corpse dropped to the snow and twitched spasmodically.
Nobody spoke up.
"Then get f**king moving!"
------------
You know the rules, guys.
---------
Player List
5. KeepingTheFaith. Claire Bennett, Cult of Queen Aligned Cheerleader.
10. Smiley. The Dovakhiin, Town Aligned Dragonborn.
11. Frederick. Freddie Mercury's Mustache, Cult of Queen Aligned Mustache.
13. RHCP. Jason Maher, Cult of Queen Aligned Creator of Diablo Mafia.
14. Ozzy. Red Dog, Town Aligned Faithful Mutt.
17. Bazzi. Jason Maher, Town Aligned All Around Good Guy.
21. StGeorgeBull. Ron Burgundy, Town Aligned 70s Newsman.
Dead
1. whall15. Hank Scorpio, Independently Aligned Evil Genius.
2. soc123_au. Idi Amin, Mafia Aligned Evil Dictator.
3. Monk. A Deck of Cards, Town Aligned Deck of Cards.
4. Dutchy. Don Corleone, Mafia Aligned Don of the Mafia.
4. Dutchy. Michael Corleone, Mafia Aligned Son of the Don.
6. SGLC. Pam Poovey, Town Aligned Head of HR.
7. Drew-Sta. The Cheshire Cat, Mafia Aligned Kooky Cat.
8. afinalsin666. Jason Maher, FFB Aligned Unkillable Merkin.
9. Beeker. Crazy/Hot Chick, Independently Aligned Femme Fatale.
12. Apey. Bunk Moreland, Town Aligned Alcoholic Homicide Detective.
15. DragonPunk. Cristiano Ronaldo, Town Aligned Football Star.
16. Parra Pride. Luck Gandor, Town Aligned Immortal Gangster.
18. 9701. Paul Walker's Ghost, Mafia Aligned 'Too Soon' Joke.
19. Bazal. The Pint That Glassed Piggy Riddell, Town Aligned Malicious Glass.
20. butchmcdick. Rodney Ruxin, Town Aligned Foul-Mouthed Jew.
22. Coby. Sportive Cupid, FFB Aligned Loose Vagina.
23. BunniesMan. Joe Pesci, Mafia Aligned Bumbling Sidekick.
24. Rebel. Religion, Cult of Queen Aligned Mass Delusion.
25. Pugzley. Cliffhanger, Mafia Aligned Horny Crazy Bitch.
26. Dragon2010. Tony Abbott, Town Aligned Misunderstood Merkin.
27. Misanthrope. Dutchy, Town Aligned Giver of Head to Mafia Coordinators.
---------
It is now night. Go go go!
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