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Raw Results

Sanchez

Coach
Messages
14,397
Mr. McMahon came strutting down to the ring and it’s time to find out who the illegitimate child is. Vince ran down over the pain that he had been experienced over the past five weeks before responding to the boos and saying that illegitimate kids could happen to anyone. He ran down the laundry list of events that had happened over the weeks and bemoaned the lack of professionalism on the part of the mother.

The crowd gave a little ‘you suck’ chant before Vince promised us all that Coach didn’t in fact ‘suck’. Vince said he took solace in the fact at the fact that his son wasn’t from Green Bay. He showed the new WWE magazine with Kennedy on the cover and had the magazine ripped up. Vince said he had been embarrassed and humiliated enough, he wanted to know who his son was.

The Great Khali’s music hit and he came out to the ring. Khali said some heart warming words in Khali speak. Singh took the mic and said that he had some insight into all of this and that he thought that he might be Vince’s child. Vince said he was a tiger, and Khali agreed and said he should be called ‘the Great McMahon’.

JBL’s music hit and he came out to the ramp. Thank the lord for well… him!

JBL said it wasn’t the Punjabi sasquatch behind him. He said after all, what did the two of them love the most? He asked Vince to put ‘big gulp’ on a leash. He said when you considered his stock portfolio even in this market, he could certify, guarantee and document that things were indeed, looking up.

JBL said Sexual Tyranasaurussisisis. Good lord. They are even gods. They both like New York City. JBL said he’s love to change his name to JBL to JBM.

Jeff Hardy’s music hit next and here he comes. He said when he flew off of tall objects that people were looking up. He said though, he was hoping he wasn’t Vince’s son. Hardy began talking about his hair before JBL pwned everyone with Punjabi super cuts and what not.

Mr. Johnson, the mother’s lawyer showed up. Vince told the lawyer he hated him and hated the woman. Vince demanded to let him know who his bastard son was. He said he did have an answer and the identity of the child would be revealed tonight, when his client was ready. Vince said the least he could do was tell him if his kid was in the ring.

The attorney said it wasn’t Jeff Hardy. Hardy did a little celebration. Vince said since Jeff had so much energy, he would have a match tonight against someone who could be his son, the Great Khali.

****Commercial****

Paul London v. Lance Cade

The two tied up and then quickly broke. They locked horns a second time and exchanged holds on the mat before Cade grabbed a nice side headlock. London tossed him off before hitting an inverted atomic drop and a head scissors before eating a boot to the grill for a two count.

Cade put the boots to London before going for another cover. Cade hit a belly to back suplex for another two count before grabbing a head vice on the mat. The crowd rallied London before Cade bullied him to the corner and hit some punches. London caught him coming in on a charge and hit a spring board drop kick before getting a two count of his own.

Cade sent London into the ropes and hit a high back body drop before hitting a grizzly looking shoulder block for another near fall. Cade plopped London on the top rope before the quicker London fought him off. Murdoch snuck up on the apron to interfere diverting the ref’s attention. While the official was tending to him, Brian Kendrick sneaked into the ring and hit sliced bread #2 before London hit his standing moonsault for the win.

Winner: Paul London via pin fall

Triple H was in the back and shilled his new T-Shirt. Cute.

****Commercial****

JR and King put over the Unforgiven pay per view a bit before going over some of the ‘emotional’ feuds that are going on right now.

A video played putting over the Orton-Cena feud. Security guards are on hand tonight to keep an eye out for Cena.

Vince and Coach were talking about the Cena-Orton issue. Coach said he stepped up and said he had banned Cena from the building tonight. They changed the topic of conversation to a poll putting over who’d be his bastard son. The son voted Stevie Richards the #2 guy and Coach brought him in. Vince laughed in his face and sent him off. Vince asked who #1 was and Coach told him Triple H.

Grisham introduced Carlito back stage. Grisham asked him how nervous he was. Carlito said all Triple H proved was that he was pretty tough with a sledge hammer in his hands. Carlito said coach let him pick an opponent for Triple H tonight. This was someone whose defeated Triple H a ton of times. Carlito said tonight he’d prove to be Triple H’s ‘daddy’.

****Commercial****

Triple H v. Shelton Benjamin

Triple H took an early advantage tossing Benjamin around the ring before tossing him into the ring post hard. Triple H dragged him out of the corner before tossing him into the post again. Triple H went out to chase him and slammed him off the announce table and into Carilto’s lap.

****Commercial****

Triple H maintained control and looked for a back body drop until Benjamin countered a back body drop attempt into a DDT . Benjamin got a two count and then went right into a rear chin lock.

Benjamin hit a springboard clothesline for a two count before going right back to a rear chin lock and ended up moving to a rear naked choke. Triple H used the crowd to rally and charged Benjamin into the corner and hit some shoulder thrusts. Benjamin fought him off and came bounding off the ropes only to eat a clothesline.

Triple H hit his running knee before hitting an Irish whip and followed it with a clothesline. He again went for the back body drop only to eat a boot. Shelton couldn’t keep his momentum going though and got plowed with a spine buster. Shelton missed a splash while Carlito tried to distract him and Triple H killed Shelton with a pedigree for the win.

Winner: Triple H via pin fall

Carlito tried to attack Triple H with a chair after the match but the Game caught him and chased him off. Coach came out and let Triple H know that the match at Unforgiven would be a NO DQ match for Carlito only. Carlito thinks that’s cool.

Security is on the lookout for Cena on the outside. Randy Orton’s on his way out to the ring next.

****Commercial****

Randy Orton came out to the ring to cut a little promo. He said while things might be down, the throbbing in his father’s head was loud. He said Cena had brought down many men, but none of them had made it personal. He said he WANTED it to be personal. He ran down Cena some more before Cena came running down to the ring and cleared house despite the security. Cena tried to break through security some more while Randy Orton ran off.

Vince was furious back stage and said Regal would have done a better job. Coach seemed to get a little pissed. Vince ran down Coach some before Coach looked like he was going to flip. Just as things hit their boiling point the Cena debacle spilled into the area. Cena got in his face and said that maybe, as a father, he had some sort of understanding as to the rage he felt.

****Commercial****

Mickie James v. Jillian Hall

The two brawled around the ring for a little while until Jillian backed her into a corner and began to hit some shoulder thrusts. Mickie leap frogged an attempt and went for a head scissors and connected. Jillian however came back with a clothesline for a close near fall. Jillian spazzed out at the kick out and yanked Mickie around by the hair until James hit a spin kick right to the back of her noggin’ for a three count.

Winner: Mickie James via pin fall

After the match, Beth Phoenix came in and dumped both Jillian and Mickie to the outside. Candice came into the ring and met her head on, but was easily overwhelmed by Phoenix and absolutely ate a fisherman buster, leaving her in a heap in the middle of the ring.

****Commercial****

Santino Marella came out and declared his mourning for Pavoratti. He said at least he didn’t have to see Austin in his movie. He talked about American culture and how disgusting fries and cheese are. I love Italy.

Santino Marella v. Sandman

Marella jumped Sandman and clubbered him into the corner with forearms. Sandman fought back with some punches and other things. Marella countered an irish whip and it looks like Sandman’s ankle is hurt.

Marella went to work on his ankle punching it and stomping away on it. Marella hit a body slam and went for a big splash, but Sandman got the knees up. Sandman hit a shot to Marella’s gut and sent him to the outside before hurdling himself over the top rope and into Santino.

Marella recovered well and grabbed the Singapore cane and began beating away on Sandman in the ring. He broke it over his knee, but ouch, that hurts. Sandman grabbed it and chased Marella off. A rare win for the lord of sleepy land.

Winner: Sandman via DQ

Khali v. Jeff Hardy is next!

****Commercial****

Ron Simmons was talk..err… staring at Maria in the back. Maria was explaining to him how she didn’t feel like Santino was the same guy she dated long ago. She said maybe she should suggest dating other people. Santino popped up in a rage and attacked Simmons, sending him careening into the wall. He looked at Simmons and gave a ‘DAMB’ and walked off with Maria.

Uh oh. Diva Search time. *Puts gun in mouth*

JR and King ran down the Unforgiven card.

WWE Championship
John Cena v. Randy Orton

World Heavyweight Championship-- Triple Threat Match
The Great Khali v. Rey Mysterio v. Batista

The Undertaker v. Mark Henry

No DQ for Carlito
Carlito v. Triple H

World Tag Team Championship
Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch v. Paul London & Brian Kendrick

WWE Women’s Championship
Candice Michelle v. Beth Phoenix

****Commercial****

The Great Khali v. Jeff Hardy

Hardy tried striking and that was just stupid. Khali picked him up and tossed him into the corner like nothing. Hardy came bounding off the ropes only to get turned inside out by a Khali lariat.

Khali tossed Hardy in the corner and laid some boots to him before hitting a few back elbows. Khali tossed him into the corner but Hardy came sailing off with whisper in the wind. He sort of caught Khali but got laid out with a big boot shortly thereafter. Khali hit his spinning back kick before looking for the claw.

Khali grabbed Hardy’s head like it was a grapefruit. It took a little while, but Hardy eventually passed out. Khali pointed down at him while pinning him with one foot.

Winner: The Great Khali via pin fall

Khali was celebrating a bit after the match until Batista’ music hit and he came rushing to the ring after a nice little pyro show. Batista hit a spear to a big pop before talking trash to him on the top rope while Khali talked trash back from the outside.

Vince and Coach are on their way to the ring.

****Commercial****

Vince came down to the ring with the entire WWE roster. He said one of these men would have the privilege of being his bastard son. He asked the lawyer who it’d be.

The Attorney said he would tell us who it is, but first he’d tell us who it wasn’t. He said first, his son wasn’t ‘extreme’. Thus, all the ECW superstars left the ringside area. The next clue was that the son had a fondness for gold. Thus anyone who hadn’t won any gold had to leave the ringside area.

The third clue was that his son’s skin was fair. All minorities had to leave. Vince invited everyone else into the ring for a group hug. I guess his hair is also dark. That’s the fourth credential. The son also is an individual which eliminated tag teams.

Triple H, Sandman and JBL are the only ones left. The final clue was that his son loves to play the Game.

Only Triple H and McMahon are left in the ring. Vince said if he was his son, then that meant that he and Ste…… Triple H said he doesn’t like this anymore than him. Vince said this wasn’t right. Things are looking up and good lord.

It’s Hornswoggle.

The grapefruits have produced a Hornswoggle. Triple H put Hornswoggle’s hat on Vince’s head laughing and walked off.

RAW THOUGHTS
Show Thoughts-- Ah, I really don’t know what to think of things tonight. First off, I’ll hit on the good because the bad sort of needs more time.

The Cena-Orton feud couldn’t have had a better build. Cena getting the upper hand this week makes me think they seriously might have Orton walk away with the belt this weekend. That feud has so much heat and honestly, it’s been the best built feud of the year thus far. I’m not wild about the fact that Carlito-Triple H has the gimmick match, as this one should be it, but regardless, I’m looking forward to this and Unforgiven as a whole.

A lot of the Unforgiven build got done and honestly, it was done well. The Carlito-HHH stuff is okay for what it was but I’m almost more psyched to see the Tag title match and the women’s title match. I never though I’d be looking more forward to the Candice Michelle match than the Triple H match.

Now the not so great or the.. Ugh… I just don’t know…

Part of me REALLY wants to give Hornswoggle the benefit of the doubt here that this could be a fun, utterly harmless angle. Let’s face it, wrestling needs some smiles right now. This entire program has been so ridiculous that I just can’t not think that this is a beyond appropriate way to kick off the next part of it.

On the other hand, this is really a wasted opportunity. Imagine the rub a guy like Ken Kennedy or Carlito could have received from all this. Even if it was a main event guy like Triple H. Hell, EVEN Khali. The BAD FOR THE BIZZ!!?@@#~ side of me hates this.

I’ll give it shot, but I just don’t feel most will.

Second of all, god dammit the Carlito-Triple H feud shouldn’t have the gimmick attached to it. Cena-Orton should have some bleed buckets stip to it. Period. I love Triple H. I really think he’s a sensational wrestler. But I hate the guy in the baby face role. If you can’t get over by doing anything but talking about poopie and playing pranks on McMahon, you’re not that good. Triple H in this role just makes me not look forward to the match, which is a shame, because I think while Carlito blows in the ring, his character work has been awesome the past month or so.

And don’t get mad at creative here. They’re not the ones that failed a drug test *cough* Kennedy.

The other thing that just rubbed me the wrong way was that the Vince angle I feel hurt the pay per view by running last tonight. I feel like Cena-Orton should have closed the show and that this whole thing is just a poorly placed side show.

I really don’t know WHAT to think about tonight’s show because as bad as the booking of it was, it flowed ok and even though nothing was appealing at all in the ring, none of the matches came off as total stinkers to me. Still, not a strong Raw to head into a pay per view with.

Overall Grade: C

Quick Results
Paul London def. Lance Cade
Triple H def. Shelton Benjamin
Mickie James def. Jillian Hall
Sandman def. Santino Marella
The Great Khali def. Jeff Hardy
http://www.wrestleview.com/news2006/1189481691.shtml
 

thuganomics

Coach
Messages
13,035
I think there will be something where HHH changed the test results... and him having fun with Hornswaggle being the actual Son.

The story goes further from here...
 

Big Pete

Referee
Messages
28,939
thuganomics said:
I think there will be something where HHH changed the test results... and him having fun with Hornswaggle being the actual Son.

The story goes further from here...

For WWE's sake I hope so.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
56,108
The whole 'illegitimate son' angle is stupid anyway - unless it was done to bring back another superstar, say The Rock, Y2J or someone of that calibre. Then it would be unexpected and entertaining viewing.

As it stands, however, it's a waste of time - even when Kennedy was going to be his son. He's capable of so much more, rather than being the subject of this inane plotline.
 

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