Rooster Jokes

[bronnie34]

You know how most of us don't like the rooster, well here are some jokes for you all....

Did you hear that the post office has had to recall their latest stamps?
They had pictures of Roosters players on them.
People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in a Roosters shirt?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his
family from the embarrassment

Q. If you see a Roosters fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle.

Q. What do Roosters fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q. What do you have when 100 Roosters fans are buried up to their necks
in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead
Roosters fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. Your're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a
Roosters fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Roosters fan - twice

Q. What's the difference between Phil Gould and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.

Q. How many male Roosters fans does it take to change a light bulb.
A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and Phil to say that if the referee had done his job in the first place the light bulb would
never have gone out.

 

[foetus_head]

Hahahaha

Probably the funniest and most true thing I have read all week...

 

[Anonymous]

heard them all before, incorporated into other jokes though :lol:

 

[Doctor]

Q. What's the difference between Phil Gould and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.

Q. How many male Roosters fans does it take to change a light bulb.
A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and Phil to say that if the referee had done his job in the first place the light bulb would
never have gone out.

Yes, well I have to highlight these two because it applies to my dislike of Phil Gould's ramblings every week.
The referee will always get the blame for a Roosters loss, and will still get blame for not allowing the Roosters to win by more points.

I still cannot understand why Phil Gould is allowed to commentate (if that is what you're to call it) Roosters matches - unlike other players with biases, Gould makes no attempt to hide his love of the Roosters. Fatty's passion for Manly is funny, Chief's passion for Newcastle is even more passionate, but he doesn't keep crapping on about them all game.

You talk about professionalism in commentating - Phil Gould is unprofessional all the time, and I don't want him commentating the Grand Final - please no Ch 9!

 

[The Vern]

A Family of Rooster supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shop. While in Rebel Sports the son picks up an Knights footy jumper and says to his 10 year old sister, "I've decided to become an Knights supporter and I would like this for Christmas". His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to Mum." Off goes the little lad with the Knights footy jumper in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Knights supporter and I would like this footy jumper for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this and promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Lets go talk to your father". Off they go to find his father. "Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an Knights supporter and I would like this footy jumper for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT", and then kicks him from one end of the store to the other for further good measure. About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The mother turns to her son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes mum I have." "Good son, what is it?" The son replies,"I've only been an Knights supporter for an hour and already I hate you Rooster bastards."

 

[Kaz]

I still cannot understand why Phil Gould is allowed to commentate (if that is what you're to call it) Roosters matches - unlike other players with biases, Gould makes no attempt to hide his love of the Roosters. Fatty's passion for Manly is funny, Chief's passion for Newcastle is even more passionate, but he doesn't keep crapping on about them all game.

Try listening to any game that the Knights are not involved in & listen when a player does something great.

9/10 they say Andrew Johns would have done such & such.

I say have Wayne Bennett commentating on games, we won't hear an bias from him, as he won't comment. :lol:

 

[ReplicatedGod]

A Family of Rooster supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shop. While in Rebel Sports the son picks up an Knights footy jumper and says to his 10 year old sister, "I've decided to become an Knights supporter and I would like this for Christmas". His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to Mum." Off goes the little lad with the Knights footy jumper in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Knights supporter and I would like this footy jumper for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this and promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Lets go talk to your father". Off they go to find his father. "Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an Knights supporter and I would like this footy jumper for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT", and then kicks him from one end of the store to the other for further good measure. About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The mother turns to her son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes mum I have." "Good son, what is it?" The son replies,"I've only been an Knights supporter for an hour and already I hate you Rooster bastards."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Catatonic_Omnivore]

Still bitter over the last 2 semi final appearances are we... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[The Colonel]

Q. What do you have when 100 Roosters fans are buried up to their necks
in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Where did you find that many Roosters fans?

 

[Kaz]

Q. What do you have when 100 Roosters fans are buried up to their necks
in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Where did you find that many Roosters fans?

There was several mirrors :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Q. What do you have when 100 Roosters fans are buried up to their necks
in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Where did you find that many Roosters fans?

There was several mirrors :lol:

Being a bit generous with several mirrors arent we?

 

[The Colonel]

Q. What do you have when 100 Roosters fans are buried up to their necks
in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Where did you find that many Roosters fans?

There was several mirrors :lol:

But aren't there mirrors at every game just in case someone has a hair out of place?

 

[astrogirl]

But aren't there mirrors at every game just in case someone has a hair out of place?

Yeah you'd think they'd need them, to make sure their Sunsilk is making their hair look good enough

 

[Terminator]

Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead
Roosters fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

That was the best one!

 

[Holla if ya hear me]

Still bitter over the last 2 semi final appearances are we... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Heres an opening I cant let go-
2001-Semi final GOD is on song and the score is 40-6 to the Knights.I know because it says so on the t- shirt
2002-GOD has a broken back and yet with 20 min to go its still 6-6.Do you really believe johns wouldnt have pulled that game out of the hat.Rudder is pulled down inches from the line and we head for the posts.A johns bullet pass and we score but we throw a floater to get over the players coming back on side!BULLSHIT was FITZGIBBON onside -I was there baby!-no camera angles! unless he had a rocket up his ass there was no way he made it back-And he was at least 5m offside -Maybe more.OH and the small matter of the form team -the dogs.You are not going to carry that form from year to year
2003-GOD has a broken freakin neck-No semi against him again
SO WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED-it took a broken back-broken neck-Off side play-THe Dogs getting punted for the goosters to get close to the cup and what they did win was a claytons cup-NO QUESTION :twisted:
179 days until 2004! :shock:

 

[Leasha]

The biggest Goosters joke of all:
Phil Gould :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Nut]

The biggest Goosters joke of all:
Phil Gould :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

This one honestly made me laugh... :lol:

 

[Rooster Cogburn.]

Did you hear the one about the rugby league team who were playing for a place in the grand final and they were leading 16-2 at half time and their winger kissed the camera lenz after scoring a try and their captain was yahooing and asking what the opposition team were going to do on their mad monday and then the opposition team scored 5 consecutive tries in the 2nd half and went on to win 26-20 and the captain of the losing team threw his mouthguard into the turf and refused to shake any of the winning team's players hands at the end of game! Now that's what I call an absolutely hilarious joke! rofl. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Terminator]

That was just unlucky, we should have gone through to the GF that year, we would have played a better game against the Broncos than your guys did.

 

[Kaz]

Did you hear the one about the rugby league team who were playing for a place in the grand final and they were leading 16-2 at half time and their winger kissed the camera lenz after scoring a try and their captain was yahooing and asking what the opposition team were going to do on their mad monday and then the opposition team scored 5 consecutive tries in the 2nd half and went on to win 26-20 and the captain of the losing team threw his mouthguard into the turf and refused to shake any of the winning team's players hands at the end of game! Now that's what I call an absolutely hilarious joke! rofl. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

You forgot the rest of the JOKE.

The team that won that game, faced a team in the GF that were in a rebuilding year.

And the team who had several Neville nobodies in the side WON.