750 words precisely.
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TiTTieS is tired. His head drops but he manages to pull it back up. But then it happens: a dream sequence begins. He has a mo hawk and much darker skin. He is.... Mr T. And Mr T has delivered his verdict on the Raiders Wingers and Centres.
Bronx Goodwin.
This man sells flare as well as I wear ma Bling. Yo betta believe it fools, he has a warehouse of flare in his basement. Needs to remember to pack a little more of it each week and make sure its locked away safely in a brief case. Fo shizzle. Brilliant running game and even Mr T takes half a step back when he sees tha Bronx at full speed. Respect. Just needs to keep drinking that Canberra Milk and those bones will be solid as. Believe.
Colin Best.
This playa has hit his straps tha last couple of weeks. Fo real. Hits tha ball up as hard as a calculus problem, but plays like trigonometry is tha only thing on his mind. Believe. Early season form was down in tha basement, must have been searching for that top range champagne to celebrate tha 4 try haul against tha doggies.
As for tha ladies, needs to be careful that he doesnt get barrelled over by all tha ladies in at Mooseheads. Hes lucky that my skank lady had an ex who looks just like him so she wont be after him. But then again, take a helmet with you, just in case. Cruze round to ma crib and Ill hit yo up with some chrome fo ma ghetto bird.
Keep it real CB, Mr T believes in you.
Adrian Purtell.
What a fine playa this boi is. 12 tries in tha opening 6 weeks including one hat-trick means that Mr T is super impressed. Yo, yo betta all believe this. Tha Sydney media, thinkin that their ghettos are betta than ours, have hushed up 5 of his tries with special camera effects. Fo shizz, he scored 2 at Robina when Mr T was there tryin ta distract those refereeing foes of ours. He scored 2 that didn't show up at Newcastle and one that those bustas edited out at Penrith.
Purtell is a super fine tuned athlete with less than 1% body fat - fat that is not actually his. Ratha, it comes from tha oil off tha hair of all of tha fine ladies who flock afta him. When he runs down tha sidelines, tha touchies move a few steps back coz they see him as royalty, just as everyone - even Mr T - should do. Fo real, he is tha shizz. Believe.
Joel Monaghan
Tha ginger ninja from tha South of Canberra has won ma approval since moving back to tha territory where he belongs.
Not one to back down from an argument, Joel is a super negotiator who loves nothing more than negotiatin his way to tha try line. Believe. While Alan Tongue may be captain of this fine Rugby League establishment, Joel is tha real Captain Planet. What's more, he don't need no groupies to call upon him to unleash his magic brand of football. Fo real. This man has a heart bigga than any race horse to eva win a Melbourne Cup. Believe.
Marshall Chalk
This man is tha juice and loved by all: young girls right through to old fellas who've been following tha club since before tha great man was knee high to a grass hoppa. No scrubs neva find him with his radar for scrubs set to anti-scrub.
Back in tha day, he considered that teaching would be a betta career flava than NRL where tha chalk is not a great place for a winga to be - even with his amount of flex. Believe. Chalking up detention fo tha ghetto children always was a big lure for tha man from north of tha border, but tha NRL couldn't be ignored forever. Perhaps, he will teach our children later? Mr T can only hope so. Word. Spirit. Will be a good way for a baller like Chalk to finish off in style.
His home in tha backs looks safe after tha stocks have been thinned out with some serious injuries in tha backline. Fo real, tha Raiders would be lost without tha talent that is etched all over tha skin and whiskers on his face. Believe. No beef where this man is concerned - not less it be a Big Mac.