What's new
The Front Row Forums

Register a free account today to become a member of the world's largest Rugby League discussion forum! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Rumours and Stuff

hineyrulz

Post Whore
Messages
136,086
Thank you so much, mate.

I've been getting professional help since I was 15.

Things haven't really improved, which is why sometimes those thoughts creep into my mind, and I seriously consider them - it is just so mentally draining to constantly battle these demons, and after 22 years, I feel emotionally spent; taking that option may seem like an "easy" option to some, but it seems enticing at times, because it would end my suffering.

But I then think of my wife, my son, my friends... I can't be guilty of causing them that much grief.

But I tell you something - I love my 2-year old son more than anything else in the world, and the fact that these thoughts can still intrude my mind is absolutely terrifying.

If anyone ever needs to talk, I am here.

And please - reach out if you need help. There is absolutelyno shame in asking for help.
You are a champion mate 👍
 

Soto

Juniors
Messages
1,805
Thank you so much, mate.

I've been getting professional help since I was 15.

Things haven't really improved, which is why sometimes those thoughts creep into my mind, and I seriously consider them - it is just so mentally draining to constantly battle these demons, and after 22 years, I feel emotionally spent; taking that option may seem like an "easy" option to some, but it seems enticing at times, because it would end my suffering.

But I then think of my wife, my son, my friends... I can't be guilty of causing them that much grief.

But I tell you something - I love my 2-year old son more than anything else in the world, and the fact that these thoughts can still intrude my mind is absolutely terrifying.

If anyone ever needs to talk, I am here.

And please - reach out if you need help. There is absolutelyno shame in asking for help.
Your son is a champion and so are you.
I'm glad your son brings you so much joy.

Keep the dialogue going. No shame in speaking up.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
54,955
Sorry to hear that mate. At the risk of being someone to offer unwanted advice which you've probably had more than enough of I'll just say that depression and other mental health issues are some of the things that gets mentioned by people trying a low carb and especially carnivore diet over and over again. I've heard dozens of testimonials from people and to me they are utterly convincing. A very recent study on the carnivore diet reported 93% of people having an improvement in mental health. For the life of me I can't remember now what the YouTube channel with those testimonials was named. It was with Dr Shawn Baker and the company is now called revero. It's not just that site either but I've heard it from so many people.

I asked to be referred to a psychiatrist last year - I finally saw him three months ago (they're booked out like crazy).

I told him about my symptoms, and expressed to him that I don't think my brain is wired right - my thought process is completely abnormal, and my brain's ability to regulate my emotions is very, very poor.

He responded by saying that it is something that needs to be addressed through therapy, to rewire my brain.

I told him I understand what he was saying, but I've been dealing with this for 22 years, and it hasn't improved; I'm desperate, and am begging to either get some sort of imaging done, or have some medication to assist.

He refused, advising that CBT is the solution.

I told him that I believe in psychology, and I have no doubt that CBT would work - but that after seeing multiple psychologists, counsellors, therapists, etc. over the last 22 years, I have barely improved, and I am desperate to feel better.

He told me to eat better, and exercise more.

I completely understand that diet, and exercise, can keep your mind healthy - I explained to him that my condition allows me to start a good process, but it will not stick when things go wrong, because I cannot cope.

He brushed it off, telling me to keep doing my CBT.

The point of my story is to try to illustrate how simply some poor people can be pushed to make a decision such as that; when the people you pay a small fortune to for help insist that you will be OK after years of intensive therapy - but you're struggling, and in pain, right now -, sometimes, people feel there is no other option.

And it really saddens me.
 

Gronk

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
67,238
How much did the drug companies make of this stuff but? I mean the whole marketing is they treat your chemical imbalance. Billions of people take them to find out a chemical imbalance never existed? Who is liable? Just gets swept under carpet.
“Big pharma” certainly have become the punching bags of late. For every “oxy” story, there are 1000 stories about new drug innovations that are keeping us alive and functioning better.

BTW I certainly don’t recall any marketing program that targets my chemical imbalance. Maybe I live in a world to you.
 
Messages
18,842
“Big pharma” certainly have become the punching bags of late. For every “oxy” story, there are 1000 stories about new drug innovations that are keeping us alive and functioning better.

BTW I certainly don’t recall any marketing program that targets my chemical imbalance. Maybe I live in a world to you.

In the large part they target their marketing at medical professionals rather than prospective patients (as they did in the late 90s with opioids). Not necessarily anything wrong with that, but one can see how that can go wrong pretty quickly.
 

Gronk

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
67,238
I asked to be referred to a psychiatrist last year - I finally saw him three months ago (they're booked out like crazy).

I told him about my symptoms, and expressed to him that I don't think my brain is wired right - my thought process is completely abnormal, and my brain's ability to regulate my emotions is very, very poor.

He responded by saying that it is something that needs to be addressed through therapy, to rewire my brain.

I told him I understand what he was saying, but I've been dealing with this for 22 years, and it hasn't improved; I'm desperate, and am begging to either get some sort of imaging done, or have some medication to assist.

He refused, advising that CBT is the solution.

I told him that I believe in psychology, and I have no doubt that CBT would work - but that after seeing multiple psychologists, counsellors, therapists, etc. over the last 22 years, I have barely improved, and I am desperate to feel better.

He told me to eat better, and exercise more.

I completely understand that diet, and exercise, can keep your mind healthy - I explained to him that my condition allows me to start a good process, but it will not stick when things go wrong, because I cannot cope.

He brushed it off, telling me to keep doing my CBT.

The point of my story is to try to illustrate how simply some poor people can be pushed to make a decision such as that; when the people you pay a small fortune to for help insist that you will be OK after years of intensive therapy - but you're struggling, and in pain, right now -, sometimes, people feel there is no other option.

And it really saddens me.
CBT is a wonderful tool and you should not underestimate the power of retraining how your brain is “used” to thinking. The point is that science has identified that your neural pathways influence habbits and behaviours. These pathways get a fatty deposit which make it easier to use that path every time. Indeed by going down that path your brain rewards you with a feeling of relief. So a person who procrastinates, will get a feeling of relief when they make a decision of not doing it now and doing it next week. It goes the same with rumination thoughts. Ruminating is the devil in mental health. It brings you down and keeps you there.

If you think of a neural pathway as a jungle track. Each time you go down that track, the path becomes wider and well worn. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy helps you cut a new track. It helps you to be more aware of what you are thinking and why you are thinking it. It helps you not go down that jungle track and cut a new one.

It might sound silly, but CBT gives you the tools to see that habitual thought, acknowledge its existence, thank it for coming and walk away from it.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
54,955
CBT is a wonderful tool and you should not underestimate the power of retraining how your brain is “used” to thinking. The point is that science has identified that your neural pathways influence habbits and behaviours. These pathways get a fatty deposit which make it easier to use that path every time. Indeed by going down that path your brain rewards you with a feeling of relief. So a person who procrastinates, will get a feeling of relief when they make a decision of not doing it now and doing it next week. It goes the same with rumination thoughts. Ruminating is the devil in mental health. It brings you down and keeps you there.

If you think of a neural pathway as a jungle track. Each time you go down that track, the path becomes wider and well worn. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy helps you cut a new track. It helps you to be more aware of what you are thinking and why you are thinking it. It helps you not go down that jungle track and cut a new one.

It might sound silly, but CBT gives you the tools to see that habitual thought, acknowledge its existence, thank it for coming and walk away from it.

I'm not underestimating it at all.

I'm saying that after 22 years of it, I needed immediate relief.
 

Snoochies

First Grade
Messages
5,478
To those here struggling with depression, feel free to message any time, happy to chat and listen, I know personally what you are going through.
If I may share as brief as I can. I was nearly a statistic 21 years ago. That was at a time when depression may have only just started to get spoken about but not well known. I didn't even know what it was until my new GF at the time told me she had it and everything she was going through mirrored exactly what I was going through. Things were just spiraling out of control, I felt hopeless, lost, had no purpose in life and all I was thinking about was a one way ticket out of here. I went to the doc who also happened to practice psychology and started doing some weekly treatments and was put onto meds. The meds seemed to flat line me and I didn't want to live on them so when I came off I went bi-polar, extreme highs and lows. I'd go back on meds, I flat lined, didn't want to live like that and went off them and every time I went off the cycle got worse. One night on one of my extreme lows I was thinking this is it, I'm out of here. As an atheist at the time I cried out to the great unknown up above and that moment changed my life in an instant. Hopefully that explains why I speak the way I do on other threads recently.
Now life has never been better, haven't had those issues except on the odd rare occasion. Haven't touched meds for 20 years, I love life, I have purpose and meaning and for me I found hope and I hope others struggling will find hope as well.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matt: 11:28
 
Last edited:

I bleed blue & gold

First Grade
Messages
8,693
It speaks volumes about this forum that alot of posers are reaching out to others to lend and ear or a hand. It’s quite a nice little community on here sometimes.
The same goes for me. I know some of the posters on here personally, some i don’t. If anyone wants to speak to someone they know, or don’t know. I am here to talk.
 

Twizzle

Administrator
Staff member
Messages
145,971
The only thing that has stopped me from doing it is thinking that it would end my pain, but my wife, and son, would feel pain that would not heal.

That's exactly right mate, as someone who's been left behind to deal with it, it really sucks.

I can't pretend to know what people go through prior to doing such a thing but its the loved ones who are left behind that suffer the most.
 

Twizzle

Administrator
Staff member
Messages
145,971
We are more medicated than any time in our history and the most unhappy, sadly suicide rates are way too high. Coincidence???


Self medication is the best medication 🍻

For the most part alcohol can be a depressant, it doesn't really work for most.
 

The Predictor

Juniors
Messages
712
That's so awful :(

I've seriously thought about suicide, myself, multiple times.

The only thing that has stopped me from doing it is thinking that it would end my pain, but my wife, and son, would feel pain that would not heal.

But I understand how things can deteriorate to a point that you just can't take it any more.

And I also understand all too well why people often don't see it coming - people can hide it very well.

Mental health is just such an important part of your overall well-being.

I've struggled with depression for 22 years, and it is tough.
I know what you are going through, I was diagnosed with clinic depression many years ago, I have had a couple of stints at the Hills Clinic, Kellyville, like u I’m married with a 21 yr old son, hang in there mate! yesterday’s event has upset me very much…
 

The Predictor

Juniors
Messages
712
I asked to be referred to a psychiatrist last year - I finally saw him three months ago (they're booked out like crazy).

I told him about my symptoms, and expressed to him that I don't think my brain is wired right - my thought process is completely abnormal, and my brain's ability to regulate my emotions is very, very poor.

He responded by saying that it is something that needs to be addressed through therapy, to rewire my brain.

I told him I understand what he was saying, but I've been dealing with this for 22 years, and it hasn't improved; I'm desperate, and am begging to either get some sort of imaging done, or have some medication to assist.

He refused, advising that CBT is the solution.

I told him that I believe in psychology, and I have no doubt that CBT would work - but that after seeing multiple psychologists, counsellors, therapists, etc. over the last 22 years, I have barely improved, and I am desperate to feel better.

He told me to eat better, and exercise more.

I completely understand that diet, and exercise, can keep your mind healthy - I explained to him that my condition allows me to start a good process, but it will not stick when things go wrong, because I cannot cope.

He brushed it off, telling me to keep doing my CBT.

The point of my story is to try to illustrate how simply some poor people can be pushed to make a decision such as that; when the people you pay a small fortune to for help insist that you will be OK after years of intensive therapy - but you're struggling, and in pain, right now -, sometimes, people feel there is no other option.

And it really saddens me.
I had CBT therapy, it wasn’t for me….but very helpful for others I’ve just accepted this is my life and get on with it best I can…I’m 54 inbox me if u ever need to talk!
 

hindy111

Post Whore
Messages
50,870
We are more medicated than any time in our history and the most unhappy, sadly suicide rates are way too high. Coincidence???


Self medication is the best medication 🍻

Do you think the internet has something to do with it? The fact people can see into the future and what's coming. Before we all where a little blinded.
 

Wally21

Bench
Messages
2,602
I asked to be referred to a psychiatrist last year - I finally saw him three months ago (they're booked out like crazy).

I told him about my symptoms, and expressed to him that I don't think my brain is wired right - my thought process is completely abnormal, and my brain's ability to regulate my emotions is very, very poor.

He responded by saying that it is something that needs to be addressed through therapy, to rewire my brain.

I told him I understand what he was saying, but I've been dealing with this for 22 years, and it hasn't improved; I'm desperate, and am begging to either get some sort of imaging done, or have some medication to assist.

He refused, advising that CBT is the solution.

I told him that I believe in psychology, and I have no doubt that CBT would work - but that after seeing multiple psychologists, counsellors, therapists, etc. over the last 22 years, I have barely improved, and I am desperate to feel better.

He told me to eat better, and exercise more.

I completely understand that diet, and exercise, can keep your mind healthy - I explained to him that my condition allows me to start a good process, but it will not stick when things go wrong, because I cannot cope.

He brushed it off, telling me to keep doing my CBT.

The point of my story is to try to illustrate how simply some poor people can be pushed to make a decision such as that; when the people you pay a small fortune to for help insist that you will be OK after years of intensive therapy - but you're struggling, and in pain, right now -, sometimes, people feel there is no other option.

And it really saddens me.
Eele, I’m truly sorry to hear of your suffering. And I’m so proud of you for speaking up about it.
In my experience, there is no one solution to mental illness and unfortunately we can control it to some extent in some cases, but it never goes away.
For me personally, a combination of Meds, Exercise and NLP have helped immensely, but there are times when I spiral and most importantly, there is no one size fits all.
Just please keep searching for what works best for you and as a number of people have said, reach out at any time.
 

Latest posts

Top