Sculthorpe Is Defecting

[B.L.L.G]

In a move that will shock the entire British nation "Plasticine Man" announces that he is defecting to the dark side and will join forces with "No-Zayland"

Playing darts in an old fashion Inglesh pub in Bristol we caught up with Plasticine Man.

"Paul. Why? Why?" asked the Bay Bay C news reporter.

"Well, i noted that Woobin Wicky sold out Canberra to go play for the Worriors. So i thought, if he can change, then so can i.
"I'd sell out my own soul right now for a pint of beer man, i don't care.
"Besides, the Australians are already on to me. They know that i'm trying to emmulate Andrew Johns.
"If i can't be Andrew then perhaps i could pass for a Stacey Jones i guess.
"Come to think about it, yer, yer i do look like Stacey jones a bit.
"I can't win as a Lion so i moze well be a Qiwi."

"So, you wish to become a Qiwi Paul?"

"Yer, that's right. At least then i'll be second rate to the GREAT Australians. And anyway."
*Plasticine Man shuffles his feet and looks down, mope'n about*

"Yes, what is it Paul?" pushed the Bay Bay C news reporter.

"Well, THAT Danny Maguire is pushing for my position! The crowds no longer cheerish me! All they want is pretty boy Maguire! It's not fair! I've never won against Australia much playing for Grate Britain and then he thinks that he can just come along and thinks he's going to change it all!" Plasticine Man pouts and sits down in a corner having hissy fits and tizzes.

Plasticine Man sits in the corner "I want to be an Australian! Why wasn't i born an Australian! I'm Andrew Johns! No, i'm Stacey Jones. They're gonna reshuffle me back into lock and push pretty boy into my #6 spot! I'm switching to Union!"

Paul Sculthorpe is confused.
The pressure from Maguire is mounting and he knows it!
Sculthorpe is slowly being squeezed out.

Ole Danny boy just sits on the side line biding his time going "C'mon old man. C'mon old man. Sustain injury. Sustain injury. It's Maguire time! It's time for some Maguire magic. Ingland needs me."

But make no mistake about it, No Zayland are in the same worthless bunch as GB are! They're both below par. I have no love for either team.

K'yum on Ingland. Do it for mother Thatcher
Hold up ya Tet'lay guv'nar and say "Cheers. We'll be right Geeves."

If GB don't preform to the best of their bloody Inglesh abilities then they get sent to the gallows and it's 40 lashes to the ass!

The Inglesh government are like "Oh no! Not again. We're losing face with our league boys. They don't have what it takes. What can we do to win for a change? I know, let's focus all of our attention on sucker. We're good at that. Becks is playing i believe.
Maybe he'll bend it like Beckham and mould Sculthorpe into some one better than Maguire."

"I'm not playing for Manchester United." Said Plasticine Man.

"I'm a No'zaylander!"

 

[B.L.L.G]

This taped conversation was released to the public accidently.

"Look at Farrel would you Eddie. You can read his lips. He's saying "Ya F'wits! We're representing Tet'lay ya F'n twits not Dilmah! Drink Tat'ley and every thing'll be pucker mate!""

"Yer, i'm with you Mike. If Andy spent more time consoling his troops instead of yelling at them then we may have a chance against the Aussies! My beef Mike is with Peacock! He's as old as the word "THE" itself."

This just in.
Reports coming out of Ingland state that 95% of British women would prefer an Australian male lover in the sack than a twity Inglesh man.
Most British women dream about Australian men and fantasize about Australian legends like myself. :lol:

And it's reported that Grate Britain would have more chance at beating Botswana in League than any other team in the world.

 

[Weasels Ripped My Flesh]

uh....ok

 

[In-goal]

Vote.1 Untouchable for idiot of the month
:iwstupid: :iwstupid: :iwstupid: :iwstupid:

 

[aussie_londoner]

:lol:

 

[Evil Homer]

Untouchable is as thick as pig shit and twice as smelly.

 

[Phillips]