ECW opens with its usual package, featuring stars such as Chavo Guerrero, CM Punk (even though he has been traded to Raw) and Mark Henry, before switching to the arena view, pyrotechnics blazing and music blaring through the PA system. ECW announcer Mike Adamle welcomes us to this weeks edition of ECW on Sci Fi, along with his fellow commentator, the "Human Suplex Machine" and former ECW World Champion, Tazz!
Mike Adamle - Welcome everyone to another jampacked edition of ECW on Sci Fi! I'm your host for this evening Mike Adamle, joined by my partner in crime Tazz. And what a show we have tonight, Tazz.
Tazz - You're damn right Mike, tonight Matt Hardy takes on Elijah Burke in a ladder match for the United States Championship, Armando Estrada takes on my old running mate Stevie Richards for a contract, and ECW General Manager Teddy Long, has an announcement, regarding the future of the ECW Championship.
Mike Adamle - Yyyep, we have some bonecrunching action instore for our fans at home tonight, but to start things off we have some tag team action, as the "Belfast Brawler" Finlay and his leprauchan cohort Hornswoggle make their debuts in the land of extreme.
Tazz - Finlay and Horsnwoggle about to get extreme baby! I can't wait for this one!
The familiar music hits the speaker system, as former United States Champion Finlay makes his way to the ring accompanied by his tag team partner, leprauchan associate and supposed son, former Cruiserweight Champion Hornsowggle. The announcer then introduces us to their opponents who are already standing in the ring, Jigg N Saww (Jigsaw and the Amazing Red of ROH fame) who are making their debuts tonight. This match is for the right to challenge WWE Tag Team Champions, John Morrison and The Miz.
Match Finish:
Saww gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Finlay slams Saww down and motions to the crowd. Finlay scores with a standing spinebuster. Saww tags out to Jigg. Spinning back kick from Jigg. Jigg goes for a splash but Finlay puts the knees up. Jigg is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Finlay tags out to Hornswoggle. Finlay and Hornswoggle whip Jigg into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Hornswoggle hits a crappy missile dropkick to Jigg's knees. Flying knee to the face from Hornswoggle. Tag to Finlay. Jigg gets knocked to the ground by Finlay. Here it comes...Celtic Knot! Jigg taps!
Winners and number one contenders to the WWE Tag Team Championships Finlay and Hornswoggle
After the match, Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely hit the ring with chairs! Stereo chair shots put down Finlay and Hornswoggle! Jigg tries to attack, but gets beaten to the floor with punches and kicks. Saww has a brief offensive flurry, but gets nailed with a boot to the gut...and hit with the Double Powerbomb!
Rating (Overall, Crowd Reaction, Match Quality): 57, 58, 56
Chavo Guerrero then gets on the mic...
Chavo - You know what, I am sick and tired of coming out here, busting my ass off, week in week out, and not being given a shot at the title I so rightly deserve. You know, my uncle Eddie once dominated ECW, and he too was given the same treatment. The fans, the guys backstage, none of them gave him the respect he deserves, the same way none of you give me the respect I deserve. Tonight, I demand I recieve a title shot, and if I don't get one, Bam and I will make sure what happened just here, continues until I do so.
Rating (Overall): 74
We head backstage, where Matt Hardy is standing by waiting for his match with Elijah Burke for the United States Championship. The ladder bout is up next.
Rating (Overall): 70
Commercial Break
We return as Adamle talks about what happened just before the commercial break. Tazz says that Chavo is crazy, and perhaps deserves the title shot, just to make sure he doesn't get even more extreme, baby! Elijah Burke's music hits, followed by Matt Hardy's. Its time for the ladder match, for the United States Champoionship.
Match Finish:
Dropkick connects to the butt of the jaw and Burke goes down. Ladder assisted standing moonsault, Burke gets CRUSHED! Second rope flying axe handle, Burke goes down. One day, M. Hardy might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Hard back suplex on Burke. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Elijah Burke powers out of a Matt Hardy headlock. Whip into the ladder by Burke. Spear by Elijah Burke. M. Hardy reverses a Elijah Burke hammerlock. Flying cross body off the top rope! Tor-NADO DDT from Matt Hardy, Burke got planted! Burke ducks a wild right hand. Burke hits a right hand. M. Hardy backdrops Elijah Burke out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Matt Hardy. Second rope flying axe handle, Burke goes down. One day, M. Hardy might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Elijah Burke can barely stand. Twist Of Fate! Matt Hardy goes up ladder and grabs the prize for the win.
Winner and still WWE United States Champion Matt Hardy
After the match, Elijah Burke slides back into the ring and pushes the ladder & Matt Hardy, over, sending him crashing to the canvas. Elijah then picks up the United States Championship belt and holds it high whilst mouthing obscenities to Hardy. We cut to a commercial.
Rating (Overall, Crowd Reaction, Match Quality): 78, 80, 74
Commercial Break
When we return from the commercial break, the camera focusses on the commentary desk as Mike Adamle and Tazz keep the show rolling
Mike Adamle - Welcome back folks, to ECW on Sci Fi, and what a night we are having so far, Matt Harvey...Hardy retaining his US of A Championship, beating the Elijah Experience in a ladder match, boy was that a humdinger!
Tazz - Boy that was extreme baby!
Mike Adamle - You said it Tazz! And standing by, Kelly Kelly has some special guests at ringside, take it away Kelly!
We then switch to Kelly Kelly, who is standing beside the barrier with three individuals who have never been seen before on WWE/ECW Television
Kelly Kelly - Thanks Mike and Tazz! And you're right, tonight we have three V.I.P. guests right here on ECW! Standing to my right is a guy who claims to be the greatest agentin sports entertainment, Larry Sanders!
Larry Sweeney - Its Sweeney you nimrod, though I wouldn't expect you to be able to get your head around that one, it is two syllables after all. For those of you who don't know who I am, my name is Larry Sweeney, the manager of stars, the agent to the greats, ensuring my clients get mansions and cars! It's all about the Benjamins, so why don;t you do yourself a favour sweetheart and take your George Washington-ass back to the locker room! Tonight, I bring to you the greates tag team in the history of sports entertainment, and soon to be ECW Hall of Famers, Mark and Jay, The Briscoes! They, just like me, are in this business for one thing, money. And when they're done dominating here in ECW, marking up their value, I'm gonna take them, and any other talent I snap up here in ECW, and sell them up the river to Raw and Smackdown where the big bucks are! There's only one name in town when it comes to sports entertainment agents, and that's Sweeney Incorporated!
Rating (Overall): 61 (Larry Sweeney gained one point of overness)
We cut back to the ring, where Stevie Richards's music hits, followed by Armando Estrada, in a match to determine wether or not Armando Estrada has a contract in ECW.
Match Finish:
Richards scoops and slams Armando Estrada. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Richards drives a thrust kick into the chest of Estrada. There's a two count on the pin. Estrada blocks a punch. Richards tastes a high angle back suplex. If Spike Lee can sue TNN over the Spike TV nonsense, then Kurt Angle should be able to sue SOMEONE for that. There's a two count on the pin. Armando Estrada hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Richards counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Nice piledriver on Estrada. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Armando Estrada comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Side suplex from Estrada. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out! Armando Estrada hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Estrada goes for a splash but Richards puts the knees up. Armando Estrada can barely stand. Stevie Kick!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Estrada has a temper tantrum as he realises Stevie has kept him out of contract, yet again!
Rating (Overall, Crowd Reaction, Match Quality): 62, 64, 59
Mike Adamle - And Estrada is once again left without a contract Tazz!
Tazz - He just felt what it was like being taking to the extreme baby!
Commercial Break
When we return, ECW General Manager Theodore Long is shown backstage, ready to make his announcement regarding the ECW World Championship.
Theodore Long - Recently, the world of ECW has seen the rise of a new force to be reckoned with here on Sci Fi, in the form of "The World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry. He is one of the most powerful, most dominant, most menacing athletes in the history of sports entertainment, let alone Extreme Championship Wrestling. When you think of the greats who have held that championship, the likes of The Big Show, Bobby Lashley, Kane and Tazz, you would be hardpressed to find anyone as overpowering as Mark Henry. Which is why tonight, I am making sure he does not continue his rampage without somebody putting up a fight. Somebody making a stand. Somebody defending the honor of this brand. Tonight that someone is Tommy Dreamer! He will face Mark Henry, right here, right now for th...
Rating (Overall): 73
A backstage assistant bursts through the door and orders Teddy to come quickly, there's an emergency to be adhered too. When teh cameras follow Teddy into one of the corridoors, a swarm of people are surrounding and battered and bloody Tommy Dreamer. No one knows who did it, but it is clear that Tommy cannot fight tonight.
Rating (Overall): 69
Theodore Long then turns to the camera, whilst pushing it backround the corner as not to see the carnage that is Tommy Dreamer.
Theodore Long - Well...clearly...woah that is just heinous...whover who has committed this atrocity will be found...uh...nevertheless teh show must go on, Championship match or not. Instead we will have a number one contendership match up, between a former ECW Champion...Television champiuon Super Crazy, and Tommy's closest associate here on ECW, Colin Delaney. The winner will face Mark Henry in...well...whenever that may be. Excuse me guys.
Rating (Overall): 68
Super Crazy heads down to the ring, followed by a clearly disorientated Colin Delaney in a match to determine the number one contender for the ECW World Championship.
Mike Adamle - This guy Super Crazy is crazy Tazz, and just maybe crazy enough to make it to the prize fight, against Mark Henry.
Tazz - If there's one thing I know Mike, its that Colin Delaney may not be as physical as his oppenent, but he does have a lot of guts. But wether or not that will be enough to carry him through this match remains to be seen. Super Crazy is extreme baby!
Match Finish:
Super Crazy kicks the leg, knocks Delaney down, and goes to work on it. Crazy just WAFFLES Delaney with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Dropkick connects to the butt of the jaw and Delaney goes down. There's a two count on the pin. Crazy uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Hooks the leg for a two count. Super Crazy misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Colin Delaney strikes Crazy. Hooks the leg for a two count. Crazy takes a NICE hurrancarana from Colin Delaney. Super Crazy fights out of a grapple. Vicious kick to the teeth from Super Crazy. Super Crazy has Colin Delaney down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Trifecta Moonsault!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. Super Crazy remains in the ring, celebrating the victory.
Rating (Overall, Crowd Reaction, Match Quality): 55, 48, 62
Suddenly, as Super Crazy is celebrating in the ring, the lights go out. The sounds of screaming and shrieking can be heard through the PA system, and when the lights come back on, Crazy is laying bloodied and unconscious in the middle of the ring. Adamle and Tazz remain silent, as the camera zooms in on the carnage that is Super Crazy's motionless body, laying in the middle of the ring...who did it?
Rating (Overall): 64 (Super Crazy gained 2 points of overness)
The show fades out as the credits appear at the bottom of the screen.
Show Rating: 62
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