St. Brett
Juniors
- Messages
- 1,312
Went into JB Hi-Fi yesterday and bought Amorosi's CD single titled Perfect.
It's actually not a bad song.
It's old, I know.
Believe this, I cracked a $50 note for a $4 CD!
I couldn't apologize enough.
I haven't listened to this 'perfect' song enough to do this review really.
Only twice I've listened to it.
Am I entitled to comment on her work?
The question I'm really looking for today is, 'do I even like Vanessa Amorosi?'
The answer is, no!
I hated her when she first came out.
She was fat and her boobs looked like that mannequin in Buffalo Bills basement!
There was nothing special about her to begin with.
She was plain and ordinary like unsalted corn chips.
I bet under neath all her clothing her body would be pale and sickly.
People are blessed that clothing was invented to cover their grotesque bodies!
The thing that pissed me off with Amorosie was, well, there's two things really.
One, she filmed that very first album sinlge in Liverpool.
You know the one where she's dancing around near a fountain and there's male models pretending to be B-boys dancing with her?
Can't think of the name of the song.
She did jump kicks and pretended to be street!
They filmed it near Liverpool plaza and the scene with the graffiti in the background I used to use that staircase to take a piss once. God it used to stink there. In fact, we all pissed there.
Where was I going with this?
The second reason I hate Amorosi is that other song with the distinct lyrics, "you're sitting on your arse and wondering why, why!"
f**k her for that point.
Some people live in the wonder years!
Umm, I don't know where I was going with any of this!
I'm writing this using free thinking.
The other day I made an error! It's been playing on my mind ever since! I said, and I quote, "my writing's getting better."
And just before I typed that I had said, "I can clear my conscious."
It was supposed to read conscience!
Prick of a word.
You know what? At this moment in time f**k the english language! And frig sentence structuring and grammar! I moze-well write in Arabic and mistakes wouldn't be made.
So anyway....umm, this new single Perfect.
It's a good song, catchy 'n all. But there's two problems with it.
One, perfect? Vanessa Amorosi? She's got the biggest complexion problem in Australia!
How much weight has she shed to try an look good for that songs video?
She's battling weight! She's hardly perfect! Far from it.
The song's not without its flaws!
I'm sick of these people like Dani Minogue, Janet Jackson and Oprah who go through hell to be skinny - all smiles in picture shoots but secretly have to put their bodies through so much torture it's not funny.
When Vanessa Amorosi is 60 years old she'll weigh a hundred and 44 kilos!
Perfect? f**k off!
She's fooling no one!
She sold out Australia; she's currently going for this American Red Indian image thinking she's Smoking Two Bears or Mockerson Jackie! A new kitchy tattoo doesn't make her T-pee Tabatha!
How confused is this stupid arse?
She's just some nobody Australian who can't crack it in the market anymore.
She'll never have another hit.
(Wanna know what else makes me sick? Those pastey non-eating Oogellero sisters The Veronica's!
One of them is a Winehouse wannabe and they disgust me. They look like deathly jelly, don't they?)
Ok, what was the second point of the song 'perfect' I was going to make?
Oh, at the end of every verse, or word, she sounds like she's in pain.
It's quite annoying.
It's like she's got a tooth ache or something.
Bar from that I'll overlook her misgivings this time and give her single a 7 out of 10.
I don't like her though and I'd turn her down if she asked me out on a date.
She'd come up to me and go, "I'm Vanessa Amorosi."
And I'd be like, "yer?"
Oh, I know it! That's how it'd go down.
I'm outstanding.
It's actually not a bad song.
It's old, I know.
Believe this, I cracked a $50 note for a $4 CD!
I couldn't apologize enough.
I haven't listened to this 'perfect' song enough to do this review really.
Only twice I've listened to it.
Am I entitled to comment on her work?
The question I'm really looking for today is, 'do I even like Vanessa Amorosi?'
The answer is, no!
I hated her when she first came out.
She was fat and her boobs looked like that mannequin in Buffalo Bills basement!
There was nothing special about her to begin with.
She was plain and ordinary like unsalted corn chips.
I bet under neath all her clothing her body would be pale and sickly.
People are blessed that clothing was invented to cover their grotesque bodies!
The thing that pissed me off with Amorosie was, well, there's two things really.
One, she filmed that very first album sinlge in Liverpool.
You know the one where she's dancing around near a fountain and there's male models pretending to be B-boys dancing with her?
Can't think of the name of the song.
She did jump kicks and pretended to be street!
They filmed it near Liverpool plaza and the scene with the graffiti in the background I used to use that staircase to take a piss once. God it used to stink there. In fact, we all pissed there.
Where was I going with this?
The second reason I hate Amorosi is that other song with the distinct lyrics, "you're sitting on your arse and wondering why, why!"
f**k her for that point.
Some people live in the wonder years!
Umm, I don't know where I was going with any of this!
I'm writing this using free thinking.
The other day I made an error! It's been playing on my mind ever since! I said, and I quote, "my writing's getting better."
And just before I typed that I had said, "I can clear my conscious."
It was supposed to read conscience!
Prick of a word.
You know what? At this moment in time f**k the english language! And frig sentence structuring and grammar! I moze-well write in Arabic and mistakes wouldn't be made.
So anyway....umm, this new single Perfect.
It's a good song, catchy 'n all. But there's two problems with it.
One, perfect? Vanessa Amorosi? She's got the biggest complexion problem in Australia!
How much weight has she shed to try an look good for that songs video?
She's battling weight! She's hardly perfect! Far from it.
The song's not without its flaws!
I'm sick of these people like Dani Minogue, Janet Jackson and Oprah who go through hell to be skinny - all smiles in picture shoots but secretly have to put their bodies through so much torture it's not funny.
When Vanessa Amorosi is 60 years old she'll weigh a hundred and 44 kilos!
Perfect? f**k off!
She's fooling no one!
She sold out Australia; she's currently going for this American Red Indian image thinking she's Smoking Two Bears or Mockerson Jackie! A new kitchy tattoo doesn't make her T-pee Tabatha!
How confused is this stupid arse?
She's just some nobody Australian who can't crack it in the market anymore.
She'll never have another hit.
(Wanna know what else makes me sick? Those pastey non-eating Oogellero sisters The Veronica's!
One of them is a Winehouse wannabe and they disgust me. They look like deathly jelly, don't they?)
Ok, what was the second point of the song 'perfect' I was going to make?
Oh, at the end of every verse, or word, she sounds like she's in pain.
It's quite annoying.
It's like she's got a tooth ache or something.
Bar from that I'll overlook her misgivings this time and give her single a 7 out of 10.
I don't like her though and I'd turn her down if she asked me out on a date.
She'd come up to me and go, "I'm Vanessa Amorosi."
And I'd be like, "yer?"
Oh, I know it! That's how it'd go down.
I'm outstanding.
