Western Pasifika Bid News

[SirPies&Beers]

Huge developments in the ongoing battle for the NRL'S 18th licence. This masthead can reveal that glamour club and team 18 favourite the Western Pasifika Porcupines has entered into a joint venture-merger-partnership-forgemation with New Zealand's Stewart Island.

WPP head of international development non German division Stuart Stewart told this masthead:
'Stewart Island has often been regarded as New Zealand's other island but their rugby league history is very strong - over 32 viewers watch the NRL through the season and their juniors doubled last year (thanks to the Murray triplets). It's a growth corridor for the game and the porcupines are proud to be part of history."

It is this masthead's understanding that to commemorate the historic joint venture the porcupines will wear the traditional tan colour of Stewart Island on their shorts as well as the mighty sooty shearwater emblem on their right sleeve.

Spines up!!!!

I heard Daniel Dickson from Norths was approached to be the Porcupines inaugural chairman, however even with a $600 billion dollar war chest courtesy of club investors Oprah Winfrey, Carlos Slim and the entire country of Luxembourg it has since been revealed that the club couldn't afford the overhead costs of maintaining Daniel Dickson's jet black hair dye (which is speculated to actually be crude oil straight out of the Saudi Arabian ground that goes onto his head).

More to come.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Massive news from the Western Pasifika Porcupines. This masthead can reveal that talks between NRL head honcho Darth V'landys, Western Pasifika Porcupines CEO Danny Dealmaker and UN Secretary General Lars Urlich are continuing at the WPP's Centre of Confidence in downtown Panania.

Sources close to the bid revealed to this masthead: "the forms have all been signed and a 687 billion shekels a year funding deal almost struck. An announcement will happen sometime in the next 2 or 3 years".

Porcupines spokesman Marcel Marceau added: "We are under a strict NDA so we cannot tell you that the porcupines are team 18. We can't tell you that we will play our first game in 2028 against the Newcastle Knights at our newly funded 87000 seat stadium in Krakatoa."

Spines up!!!!!

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Massive news from the Western Pasifika Porcupines as they firm as favourites for the NRLs 20th licence. This masthead can reveal that Darth Lord V'landys has met with WPP CEO Leo Sayer and the WPP'S 37 member board to discuss the bid.

This masthead's secret sauce said: "We are almost assured of licence 20. All we need is a ground, a centre of excellence, a German, a pokie den, and 97 million kroner for the licence fee."

Spines up!!!!

 

[Trifili13]

Massive news from the Western Pasifika Porcupines as they firm as favourites for the NRLs 20th licence. This masthead can reveal that Darth Lord V'landys has met with WPP CEO Leo Sayer and the WPP'S 37 member board to discuss the bid.

This masthead's secret sauce said: "We are almost assured of licence 20. All we need is a ground, a centre of excellence, a German, a pokie den, and 97 million kroner for the licence fee."

Spines up!!!!

I hope Peter Beattie hasn't said "your bid is outstanding". You know what happened last time he said that.

 

[MugaB]

I hope Peter Beattie hasn't said "your bid is outstanding". You know what happened last time he said that.

You don't need beattie, you just need me

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Major announcement looming as the NRL looks to cement their expansion plans before Hanukkah. This masthead can reveal that NRL head honcho Darth Lord V'landys and Father Christmas will announce the Western Pasifika Porcupines as team 18 on December 24 @ 2345.

It's this masthead's understanding that other inferior bids have dropped the ball and will not be considered in the NRL'S expansion plans. An inside source has revealed: 'Darth Lord V'landys is not happy with the Perth bid. Premier Cook did not curtsey to him when he met him and so was dismissed.' It is understood that Cook only survived summary execution due to the intervention of Pope Francis.

Our insider can also reveal: 'PNG will be team 19. IKEA has started building the precinct at downtown Port Moresby. Expect an announcement before Chinese New Year'.

Spines up!!!!!!

 

[T to the T]

That was probably funnier in your peanut brain