tits&tans for the Kumuls ...
(750 words from the OWC)
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Onomastical" Opinions
Kids can be cruel. Just think about it. Like petite predators, they seek out those who appear to be the weakest and least confident. Like miniscule mind-readers, they identify their preys most insecure characteristic and they pounce. And, like little lexicons, they then assign a humourous and emotionally-scarring nickname: Fatty, Bloodnut, Spaz, Metal Mouth, Skidmarks, Crater Face.
Luckily, kids grow up. Thats not to say that nicknames cease to exist but rather they take on a different persona. Colorful titles have now become a generally positive part of our lives and exist across the spectrum of modern culture; in music, crime, politics and, of course, in sport.
Sobriquets can lend credibility to an individual and can bring the everyday person closer to a larger-than-life figure. They have been part of our social traditions for hundreds of years, although today nicknaming is perhaps less common.
Still, nicknames persist, particularly among men. According to sociological studies, men are more likely to hang onto them into adulthood. Inventing nicknames seems to provide a way of being affectionate without compromising masculinity. This is particularly evident in sports, where nicknames allow male fans to demonstrate this affection and achieve a sense of closeness with their favourite players.
Each sport has its own particular variety of nicknames and these are assigned to all aspects of the sport: players, teams, umpires, commentators and stadia.
League is no exception and in my humble opinion, it intellectually rises above all other sports.
Cricket lacks an originality of thought for national team nicknames The Men in Blue after Indias playing colours, The Stars after Pakistans flag and The Tigers after Bangladeshs national animal. Yawn
Having said that, national football teams really are no better: Les Bleus (That means blue in French), Die Nationalelf (How many players on the German national side?), The Boys (from South Africa), The Nationals (Iran) and The Whites and Reds (Poland) to name just a handful. This, in addition to a number of unflattering players nicknames Donkey, Paper Clip, Gruntler, The Yellow One and Flea demonstrates soccers overall inferiority.
Union team nicknames generally fail to inspire and often provoke a giggle I mean, The Mooloo Men, The Steamers, The Baa-Baas, The Cherry Blossoms and The Moufflons? Hardly names that strike fear into the heart of the opposition or lend any credibility to the claim that Yawnion is a real mans sport. Neither do the affectionate names of some of the sports key personalities: Chiliboy, The Loser, Rat, The Fun Bus or Sea-Bass, for example.
Gridiron is barely worth mentioning with team nicknames such as The Brownies (cake anyone?), The Fish, The Pats (cow?) and The Birds and players known as Anytime, The Windy City Flyer, Daylight Come and You Gotta Delhomme, Dr. I Dont Know or Touchy Feely. What really goes on over there?
Now, in League, I think we have it just right. Our national and local teams monikers illustrate their (national and/or local) pride, spirit and culture of this great game. The pride of the English Lions, the keen sense of the Irish Wolfhounds, the spirit of the Bravehearts, the strength of the Russian Bears, the national unity of Les Tricolores, the sharp imagery of the Tomahawks and the fierceness of the soldiers from the Fijian Bati all go a long way to proving this point.
The nicknames we use exhibit an ideal combination of physically demonstrative words (Iafeta Rhino Paleaaesina or Peter The Yak Cusack), clever play-on-words (Chariots for Martin Offiah), modern cultural references (Diamond Luke Phillips, Raging Bull Gordon Tallis or Shrek Mark OMeley), historical references (General Luke Pattern), literary allusions (Tarzan/Jane Dane Carlew, Oompaloompa Brad Drew or Noddy Brett Kimmorley) and of course, Aussie culture (Snags, Bluey, Joey and Chook).
However, nothing is entirely perfect.
As much as players and clubs nicknames represent the physical prowess, skill and courage of this sport, there are still some that let us down. I refer, in part, to a number of smaller Australian clubs that really should have chosen something different:
Kyogle Turkeys, Guyra Super Spuds and the Dapto Canaries. The national team of the Cook Islands naming itself The White-hatted Ponces, sorry, I meant The Cooks, does us no favours and of course neither do certain players with less-than-inspiring monikers: Piggy Mark Riddell, Poodle - Robbie O'Davis, Hollywood - Darren Senter and Tranny - Michael Vella for example.
Even with such nicknames, RL still displays its nomenclatural dominance.
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