WORLD CUP '08 Rnd 3: England v Malta

[The Front Row]

Forum 7s - WORLD CUP Round 3 - 2008
ENGLAND LIONS v MALTA KNIGHTS

-v-

Mr Fahrenheit (c) ------- Big Mick (c)​

Game Thread:
* Please note - This is a game thread only, therefore only game posts can be made here (Teams, Articles).
* Any other posts may result in loss of points and is at the discretion of the referee
* Only original articles, not used in previous games, will be marked by referees.​

Naming Teams (F7s WC conditions):
* 3v3 (+ 2 reserves for each team)
* No 'TBA' or changing players named
* Captains must stick with original teams named​

FULL TIME (F7s WC conditions): Sunday 2 November 2008 at 9pm (Syd time)​

REFEREE: Titanic​

Venue: The Front Row Stadium​

**The Referee Blows Game On!**

CLICK HERE FOR OFFICIAL WORD COUNTER​

 

[Mr. Fahrenheit]

Starting Line Up;

Mr. Fahrenheit (c)
Bumble
Cheesie-the-pirate

Bench;

Bartman
Titan Uranus

 

[Big Mick]

Starting Line up:

Big Mick c
Madunit
Dave Q

RES:
Edabomb
Tigers are pro

 

[madunit]

madunit for Malta

An Idiots Guide to Being a Rugby League Writer

Index

1 – Getting Started
1.1 – Pre-requisites
1.2 – Understanding the game
1.3 – How to work with facts

2 – Journalistic Integrity
2.1 – What is it?
2.2 – What do I do with it?
2.3 – How do I obtain it?

3 – Writing your piece
3.1 – Ignoring facts
3.2 – Opinion over Information
3.3 – Purpose of your article

Chapter 1 – Getting Started
1.1 – Pre-Requisites

Pre-requisites are skills and tools in your arsenal which are strongly required to carry out your duties as a Rugby League writer successfully. These pre-requisites will also be relied upon from time to time in your duties to announce to the world your wisdom on said topics in an effort to get yourself out of some massive hole you dug for yourself, via some unintelligible diatribe you splurted out while half drunk at an important official ceremony.

1.2 – Understanding the game

Information about rugby league is readily available everywhere you look in Australia, so even if you have little to no understanding of the game, you can quickly and easily find out. In most careers, an understanding of the business you are about to enter into is a pre-requisite, luckily for you though, this is not the case for rugby league writers. In fact, the less you know the better equipped you will be.

1.3 – How to work with facts

Facts are very useful at times, but can get in the way of a very good article at other times. You need to understand the delicate balancing act of fact usage. The best and simplest policy, which will always see you in good stead, is this: If it’s a bad fact, use it, if it’s a good fact, then you aren’t writing a rugby league article.

Chapter 2 – Journalistic Integrity
2.1 – What is it?

Journalistic integrity for Rugby League writers is somewhat of an unknown entity, and is another facet normally attributed to pre-requisites, which is not required at all. However if you do happen to have journalistic integrity, you will soon be rid of it once you start getting work published, so don’t fret!

2.2 – What do I do with it?

Hopefully you won’t have any to do anything with, however if you are unfortunate enough to have some journalistic integrity, the best thing to do is to rid yourself of it very quickly. Let it be said and known very clearly and early, that the biggest enemy of any rugby league writer is integrity. You are not hired to be a good journalist. You are hired to write trashy articles which rubbish the game. I’m sure you can see the contradiction with being a reputable rugby league writer.

2.3 – How do I obtain it?

If you are intent on being a respectable journalist, then rugby league journalism is not the avenue you should be attempting. The only rugby league writers to be reputable are well known players, although their integrity stems from their performances on the field, not through their writing.

Chapter 3 – Writing your piece.
3.1 – Ignoring facts

Facts should only arise when discussing a controversy in the game. The facts you use should be clear, repeated as often as possible and should make the people involved in said controversy to come across as worse people than anyone could ever believe. If you are faced with a situation where the parties involved have never been in trouble before, you must immediately link them with the few people who are known offenders. While executing this, you must completely ignore all known facts, opting for whatever you feel seems viable and makes the first time offender appear like a repeat offender.

3.2 – Opinion over information

There are times when important information comes to light which contradicts your opinion on a person and/or situation. In these instances, you must make a very brief mention of the fact, then completely wrap it up in your biased, unsubstantiated, uneducated, hype-riddle d opinion. What you write will determine a player’s credibility. The more players you can defame, the more secure your job will be.

3.3 – Purpose of your article

Rugby league writers must perform contrary to standard journalism practices (ie - provide unbiased factual information for the public). You are to appeal to prejudices, make gross exaggerations, and put players up on pedestals before cutting them down on a regular basis.

Last but not least, don’t forget the Golden Rule:

If you think it, then it’s fact.

Good luck!

743 words, including title.

 

[Bumble]

*Bumble for England*
​

Scotland the Dominant

The most skilful and classy team in this World Cup has been coyly resting on their laurels, biding their time before a fatal strike. I am not talking about Australia, who easily dealt with the Kiwis, or England - too good for PNG, but rather the true favourites for this tournament, the most likely candidates to take home the prize - the mighty Scotland, who blatantly tanked their first game against minnows France in a bid to lull their other pool opponents into a false sense of security.

Boasting the likes of wooden spoon Rabbitohs cast-off Duncan MacGillvray and Bulldogs enforcer Chris Armit, it's difficult to see how the Bravehearts can be stopped. Obviously they'll ease through their pool and semi to face Australia in the final, I thought I'd take a look at the key match-ups in this potential game of the century:

Wade Liddell vs Billy Slater:

Both QLD Cup stars in their time, Billy has moved on to a degree with the Storm, whilst the plucky Scotland custodian continues to dominate with Brisbane Easts. Boasting an astonishing 22 Dally M points between them last season, this is a clash of two titans of the modern game. One for the average fan, who enjoys watching lighting fast and free-scoring fullbacks such as these two.

Mick Nanyn vs Israel Folau:

Both pointscoring centres, whilst young Israel's high profile transfer to Brisbane has generated much discussion throughout Rugby League circles, his Scottish counterparts groundbreaking transfer from Widnes to Oldham has turned the English Rugby League on it's head. I'm giving the edge in this one to the Scotsman, because in addition to his natural abilities he can kick goals, and has been known to nail them from the sidelines.

Neil Lowe vs Steve Price:

Not much is known about the big man from English powerhouse Keighly, but it's clear that his mobile and streamlined 105kg frame makes him a far more valuable wide running forward than the Warriors leader. Both are known as chargedown kings in various circles, but the fact that Lowe is widely respected for being a single club player plays a part in his favour, whereas Price doesn't even play his footy in his home nation. Shocking stuff.

Dean Colton vs Brent Tate:

Where Tate is easily recognised for his neck brace and large nose, Colton is so inconspicuous that his profile on RLWC08.com doesn't even feature a picture. Not much is known about the centre/wing utility man, although he is known as the "Doncaster Dasher", for his frequent bursts of speed whilst playing for the club he loves, the Dons. Tate will more than likely struggle to handle the acceleration of his opposite number, don't be surprised to see coach Stuart substitute Tate for a more mobile option mid-game, such as Josh Perry.

Paddy Coupar vs Greg Inglis:

Both men are more than capable of handling the load as a centre, stand-off or halfback - but to be honest the creative skills of the Edinburgh Eagles stalwart give him the edge over the bland and at times boring Inglis. Not to be biased however, I will acknowledge Inglis' solid haul of Representative Player of the Year and Five-Eighth of the year, but how many comebacks has he engineered over the likes of the Paisley Hurricanes, Jordanhill Phoenix or Carluke Tigers? Not nearly enough to be the more favoured player in this match-up. The man from Blairgowie has the edge.

Kevin Henderson vs Glenn Stewart:

A perfect clash between two men who have for far too long, lived in the shadows of their siblings. Much like Dean Waugh, Billy Carter and Stephen Baldwin amongst many others before them, these two vastly talented individuals will continue to be under-appreciated regardless of what they do on or off the pitch. The Wakefield backrower will look to pressure Stewart from the first whistle, with the staggering statistic of 2 famous brothers to Glenn's 1 weighing heavily on his side. After all if a family brawl broke out, the numbers game would come into play (and besides, Brett Stewart is a cripple, how difficult could that be?)

Ultimately, it will all come down to who wants it more on the day. Australia will go in as underdogs and rightly so, because as you can see above they come up short in every key match-up. Not since the 1980 miracle on ice would a victory be met with such blissful joy. Lets go the underdog Kangaroos!

--

744 words


​

 

[Cheesie-the-Pirate]

Cheesie-the-Pirate whistles Land of Hope and Glory as he runs out onto the field....

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A Convenient Truth

If there was one thing that sociology taught me, it was that there is an age – and a stage in the balding process – where pony tails on men are always bad news. If there were two things that sociology taught me, they were that pony tails and middle-aged academics don’t mix and that one should never confuse convenience with randomness.

For instance, a series of numbers generated by a complex algorithm is random. The balls pulled from the lotto cage are random. Well, perhaps. The pedant would say that neither of those things is truly random. The algorithm must be based on numbers inputted by humans. Whether it’s the time or the mathematician’s favourite decimal place of pi, there’s something driving that algorithm. Likewise, subtle variations in the weight of those lotto balls or biases in the mechanisms mean we can never be sure of the draw’s randomness.

Still, it’s close enough to random and does the job for our purposes but it’s in these failings to artificially recreate randomness that we best understand its fundamental feature – a complete lack of order or predictability.

So, if we know what is random – what isn’t? Eeny, meeny, miny, moe isn’t. Even as kids we knew that one wasn’t random. The results of a poker machine aren’t random either – of course they’re biased against the player to give the house a cut.

But lurking between that which is random and that which isn’t there’s an area that is best described as “convenient”. Convenient samples seem random enough, but on closer inspection we discover the information has a fundamental order and predictability. The pollster on the phone cannot achieve a random result. Respondents are likely to be a rather self-selecting group. That is, those that are interested in the researcher’s questions, those who like to share their opinions openly and of course those who have the available time to respond. All of these respondents are convenient – because they are inclined to participate – but this convenience ultimately demands that the sample is not random.

Now, as we all know, referees make mistakes. Many would suggest that referees make lots of mistakes. To a large degree referee mistakes are inevitable; people are neither omniscient nor omnipresent. Then there’s the question of so-called “50-50” calls, where the events are open to interpretation – even after a dozen replays – and it’s up to the referee to make a call.

Now, one of the central pillars of the defence of the refereeing status quo is that referees may make mistakes but they all even out in the end. The same argument is made for the removal of the video referee.

But what about bias? Now, I’m no fan of claims that come from some that Referee A hates Team B but that doesn’t mean that biases do not influence decisions. Does anybody doubt that vocal home crowds influence referee calls, or that certain referees are more inclined to be influenced by a crowd than others? The second question is the perhaps more pertinent because we know that referees are allocated based upon merit and not chance. This is not random in any sense and therefore a season can be seriously influenced simply by the allocation of games and referees.

Moreover, we know that there are serious amounts of judgement concerning certain referee decisions; obstruction being a classic example. We also know that interpretation changes over time - even from week to week – particularly as official interpretations are revised.

Finally, there’s the question of timing. Let’s assume that a referee makes two mistakes in a game, one in the favour each team. If one mistake occurs 20 minutes into the game and the other with 30 seconds left, is that the same? The cost of a mistake is dependent upon the circumstances in which it occurs. We also know that referees are human and therefore are inclined to make more mistakes under particular circumstances, towards the end of a half when suffering fatigue for instance.

The idea that referee mistakes all even out in the end is a convenient fudge. It works if referee mistakes were random, but of course we know that they cannot possibly be so. The appearance of randomness may give us comfort, but the only solution to improving the enjoyment of fairly adjudicated rugby league games is to constantly strive to improve referee standards.

Banning balding men with pony tails can’t hurt either.

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*748 words, including title, according to the official word counter.

(Interestingly, for those playing along at home, only 739 words according to Microsoft Word 2007.)

 

[Dave Q]

Dave Q skips out holding a teddy bear for Malta.

_________________________________________________________


Talking to the Future.

"You dont have to be a horse to judge a horse show"

So said Billy Anderson, the coach of the Rabbitohs in 1980. He was answering one of critics who was making the claim that because he had never played rugby league at a competitive level, he wasnt up to coaching.

And if my memory serves me correctly, depsite this dreadful disability, Billy dragged the rabbits kicking and screaming into the finals that year plus we took out the mid-week cup againt a gallant Sharks side.

But despite Billy's success, the TV media continue to hire these ex-players to front their league broadcasts, a point of difference between TV and print media who prefer their red-nosed journo's. Radio seems to provides a balance between the two.

Does being a good player make you a good TV commentator? Do you speak with authority because you played 12 seasons for the Gnats, 3 SOO games and an International for Greenland?

At home do we say "Oh Fred Nerk who was good 30 years ago..well he said it...so it must be right...right?"

Lets have a calling of the card:

* Peter Sterling: Last played a decent game of football 19 years ago. Grumbles too often. His best comtribution is when he is saying "ohh" or "ahh" at some exciting passage of play. Tune out to everything else he utters.

* Fatty Vautin: Does a good job with anything not remotely connected with football.

* Gus Gould: The king of spin, but is the only commercial commentator capable of analysing anything.

* Joey Johns: Awkward, wooden, uncomfortable in fornt of the camera. Looked happier when he was off his head.

* Matthew Johns: The opposite of Joey. Livewire, funny. But when he's serious... he sounds concussed and nobody believes him.

* Ben Ikin: Even gets tired cliche's wrong! Hopeless and pathetic thus he's my favourite.

* Wally Lewis: Dragged on for his name. Not fair on him nor us. Sadly, the king is still very unwell.

If these arent good enough, then we need some extra entertainment action a la the following:

1. A mute commentator button. It keeps the games noises audible but kills the blathering babble.

2. Every half-back to wear a helmet with a pin-hole camera affixed. We press a button and then we can see the game from a real players perspective.

3. Auto-crowd. For a small fee, a mechanical fan will attend the game for you and you can watch through a camera in its skull and hear the game with on-board speakers in digital hi-fi. A bit extra and you get a mic and can talk to the robot next to you. That would certainly help the crowd figures... although my bet is that there would still be a queue for replacement batties at half time.

And of course, into the future, because of the drama and expense, we will dispense with players as such and we have robotic humaniods playing the game as instruted by coaches. The coach becomes a real puppet master then. Brian Smith can practice his mind games on silicon chips and rubber tubes. Bellamy can be rude and fiesty all he likes to pieces of metal and electric wires.

Hmmmm....I suppose we could also have an SBW factor where the player takes off and then appears at half time telling everyone he had guts and the world owed him a living.

We could have robot security guards to tell you off for waving a flag or throwing a can at someone. There could be a simulation of you being led out of the ground (with the crowd jeering you and the guards).

I'm not sure about the cheerleaders. I suppose you could invent their statistics for a computer program but not many would manage to walk too far with boobs that are so big they cant squeeze through the player's tunnel without suffocating a few gear stewards. Of course, the mascot could be bigger than the stadium but just hope he doesnt trip over and 20,000 simulated humans get incinerated by the dragon trying to catch his breath!

Sooner or later of course, the geeks will replace the coaches. That will enable some 14 year old acne-laden kid at Saint Anthony's to earn a six figure salary which he can spend on his backyard nuclear weapon programme!

Of course in such a future, there would be no need to re-create commentators.....

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737 words between the lines.

 

[Mr. Fahrenheit]

Travels, Travails and Triumphs of the Great Game
​

We are halfway through a moderately successful Rugby League World Cup (RLWC), yet as expected, a concentrated media diatribe on the competitiveness of the tournament dominates headlines and pub discussions. The focal point of any negative assessment of the RLWC is Australia’s dominance; however I won’t digress any further into this topic in this article. Instead, I shall regale you with a tale that exemplifies the spirit of the RLWC by incorporating the plight of some of the lesser nations. Yes. I know, boring right? Would you rather read about Cameron Smith’s off-season contract negotiations? Or how Benji Marshall got injured again? I just hope the referee answered ‘no’.

* * *
​

It had been a tumultuous night filled with misadventure and comical failed pursuits; I laid there on the doorstep of a dingy backpacker’s motel in the heart of Sydney’s sin city, Kings Cross. The sunlight was consuming the darkness of the night. These factors engineered an aura designed for reflection of the recent past, and a contemplation of the future. A few minutes later, a backpacker joined me on the front steps.

“Can I have a androtop?” he yearned, and I of course, obliged – albeit with an incredible curiosity. What was that accent? I soon discovered his Irish roots; however the real shock was the purpose of his journey; the RLWC. His ruminations were those of great effort, despair and discomfort, involving 80 hour work weeks and the cheapest accommodation available. Eventually, his dream was realised, he was in Australia for the cup and all the sacrifices were worth it.

About a week later, I was one of the six thousand odd raucous fans at Parramatta Stadium on a Monday night. I didn’t know what to expect, I was sure that there couldn’t be many others like the Irishman I met the weekend before. The game itself proved to be a tight affair, with more twists and turns in its plot than a Michael Crichton novel. The crowd however, remained at a constant vociferous level that had me convinced that 15 thousand fans had spent their hard-earned on witnessing an excellent Rugby League match. The Tongans and the Irish in the crowd lived on every hit, pass or penalty unlike any other group of fans I’d ever witnessed.

Four days since the somewhat magical experience at Parramatta Stadium I woke up with one thought on my mind. Samoa Vs Tonga. This game had been pencilled into my mental diary since the draw came out. As a local of ‘mounty county’ (Mt. Druitt area), I knew the importance of this game to people of Polynesian descent. The spill-over effects from Monday night added to the anticipation.

Walking into the ground, I met a Scottish gentleman. Yet another from the smaller British nations, who made the trek down under in support of the great game. He compared the atmosphere to a Hull derby in the European Superleague, only he credited the cultural influences of the Islander nations to a much friendlier atmosphere than one would expect in the north of England. A stark contrast to the impression impregnated into the minds of the public from the media, who suggested that crowd violence was not only imminent, but somewhat inevitable.

The cacophony of the boisterous crowd only inflated the sense of on field tribal warfare, as the 26 players on the field traded big hits and ambitious offloads. As the game wore on, the empty patches of red seating were replaced by sections of red and blue as both sets of supporters were employers of the old adage ‘strength in numbers.’ It was a truly amazing experience. As a neutral fan I felt myself being swept up in the triumphs and tragedies on both sides, and much like most good things it built up to the ultimate climax.

Thirty seconds left in the game. Samoa has won with an 8 point lead, when a young Samoan ran onto the field carrying his national flag. The siren bellowed in the background as three others climbed the fence on the other end of CUA Stadium. Security were facing an unbridled, rampant opposition that they knew they couldn’t tame. Eventually, the whole crowd flocked onto the playing arena and the mood changed from one of tension and danger as a bittersweet poignant aura swept the Western Suburbs. The match had it all, scrum won against the feed, voluntary tackles and most importantly; passion.

 

[Big Mick]

Big Mick posting for Malta in a last minute dash!

RLWC08 – A threat to union?​

​

If there was one area that Rugby Union had an edge over Rugby League is that it had a far superior and more acknowledged International game. International Rugby League has long been thought of as a stain on the game. For many years critics have acknowledged that domestically our game is far superior, however internationally our game is sadly lacking due to lack of forward thinking.


In 2007 we saw the ultimate failure of a Rugby Union WC which highlighted an opportunity for Rugby League to take advantage. Since the beginning of the 2008 Rugby League WC we have seen some fantastic matches which rival the union code. However, while the RLWC has unearthed some fantastic International talent and provided fantastic spectacles, it has not captured the public interest due to lack of administrator belief and farcical eligibility laws.

The initial problem with the RLWC is that administrators have allowed the game to be overshadowed by run of the mill television broadcasts such as 60 minutes. While the World Cup is being shown in over 100 countries around the world live, its core supporter base in Australia has to deal with delayed coverage and poor advertising from the game’s “broadcast hosts”.

This lack of administrator interest even extends to radio rights in which 2UE had offered to broadcast every single game live and more money; however the NRL and RLIF decided to give the rights to 2GB for less money and less live broadcasts, an embarrassing but true reflection of the lack of faith by “our” administrators.

Administrators also highlighted their lack of foresight in the creation of the draw for RLWC08. To place Australia, New Zealand, England and PNG in one group is not only pathetic; it demonstrates a lack of respect for PNG on the International scene. Furthering this embarrassment is that the Top 3 in this group progress, while Pool B and C have to fight for the final place, once again demonstrating a lack of recognition and respect for nations in Pool B & C.

Then of course there is the farce surrounding eligibility laws and the likes of Anthony Tupou, Taniella Tuiaki and Fui Fui Moi Moi for Tonga and Jarryd Hayne for Fiji. Only 12 months ago Tuiaki and Moi Moi had participated in World Cup qualification matches for Tonga, only to be told they cannot play for their nation at the World Cup due to playing for New Zealand within a 12 month period. Subsequently, Jarryd Hayne who had never played for Fiji and played for Australia 12 months prior was allowed to form part of their squad. This is truly an embarrassment on our game.

It is time to take this World Cup to the next level as Rugby League is no longer a secret internationally. League has expanded exponentially the last 5 years. In 2004, there were 36 affiliated nations, in 2006, 44, and this year there are now 48. These numbers highlight not only a thriving presence internationally, but the potential that exists for a World Cup, that not only rivals Rugby Union, it betters it, both in competition and marketability.

The 2008 World Cup shows there is a lot of room for improvement and by next world cup other nations such as Malta, Holland, USA, Lebanon and Cook Islands will surely enter the fray, facilitating a more competitive, expansive and financially viable competition.

However, unless we have players representing their actual nations, this will always be a pleasant fiction and RLWC will always be lost on the calendar. It is therefore my opinion that if a player represents a minnow nation at this world cup, he has then made that nation his primary choice and as such cannot play for any other nation, unless not picked by that nation. For example, if Jarryd Hayne and Michael Jennings decide they are too good for Fiji and Tonga respectively, now they have played a World Cup match, they are now locked into those nations unless otherwise not being selected. Only then will we then stop this eligibility farce.

One thing the recent union world cup taught us is that minnow nations can thrive if given the proper opportunity. We’ve only recently seen this with Great Britain against PNG, a fantastic spectacle. If only our administrators had the same ambition to see the true potential our game has, then just maybe we can make our game the International centrepiece it should be.

746 words

 

[Pistol]

 

[madunit]

Mick just did his impersonation of furrycat haha bloody hell, leaving it til the last second there mick.

 

[Jesbass]

Well done for the full compliment to both teams. It would only be right of me to support the side that has a Kiwi in their squad, so...

Go Malta!

Go England!

(Sorry, couldn't find an English one - just a British one!)

Good luck, one and all!

 

[Big Mick]

Mick just did his impersonation of furrycat haha bloody hell, leaving it til the last second there mick.

hahaha yeah!

 

[Titanic]

Malta

Madunit: An Idiots Guide to being a Rugby League Writer - 89

An entertaining article offering advice for budding journo's under the Idiot's brand which pitifully I could relate to (even without sunglasses).

DaveQ: Talking to the Future - 86

I was with you up until the players ceased to be human. A unique slant but felt that it drifted off topic and eventually off planet.

Big Mick: RLWC08 - A Threat to Union - 88

I am in total agreement with the sentiments expressed in this article and enjoyed the read, however, I felt that a clearer solution would have attracted a slightly higher score.

England

Bumble: Scotland the Dominant - 90

A classy piece about classy players. A well researched article leaving me in no doubt that the 'Roos shouldn't even bother to turn up.

Cheesie-the-Pirate: A Convenient Truth - 87

A well constructed and eloquent article that kept me reading and reading and... eventually left me feeling mildly disappointed.

Mr. Fahrenheit: Travels, Travails and Triumphs of the Great Game - 88

Although this article offered a reflection of 'fandom' rather than downright passion, it did capture the peripheral nether regions of the RLWC well.

Result: ENGLAND 265 defeated MALTA 263
potm: Bumble (England) 90

 

[Jesbass]

And England are through. Congrats!

Well done, Malta. You pushed them all the way!

And Scotland may not have made the tournament, but at least an article about them won POTM! :lol:

 

[griffo346]

Jess that's incorrect England aren't through F/A shot them in the foot by the look of the table it will be equal points, then Posts and the F/A meaning Australia still go through.

 

[Jesbass]

Bah! Mere semantics! :sarcasm:

I guess it pays to check the table first, huh! :lol:

 

[madunit]

damnit, 2 points!

Top work boys, we made them earn that win.

 

[Mr. Fahrenheit]

Thanks titanic for the quick reffing, it was a close game, well done to all involved. Special congrats to Bumble on his MOTM.

 

[Big Mick]

Well done England, Thanks Titanic!

Congrats Malta...we did our best!