WWE 2013 - Booked by Misanthrope

[Misanthrope]

No gimmicks. No backstory. Just me booking the WWE and (hopefully) doing it right.

WWE Payback

Pre-Show Match: Sheamus v Damien Sandow
Sheamus and Sandow put on a ***1/2 match that lasts just over 10 minutes. Sheamus picks up a clean win following a Brogue Kick.
WINNER: Sheamus at 10:13 (Brogue Kick)

After the match and before the PPV officially starts, Antonio Cesaro hits the ring and blindsides Sheamus. He punctuates his assault with a Neutralizer.

Match #1: Dean Ambrose (c) v Kane for the United States Championship
In a match somewhat diminished by Kane's lack of speed, Ambrose is able to pick up a clean win courtesy of his reverse DDT.
WINNER AND STILL US CHAMPION: Dean Ambrose at 9:01 (reverse DDT)

We cut backstage for the arrival of former WWE Champion, CM Punk. The self proclaimed 'Best in the World' arrives and is immediately greeted by Paul Heyman. Heyman apologizes for his big mouth ending Punk's holiday early, but Punk is all business.

"It's clobbering time!"

Match #2: Kaitlyn (c) v AJ for the WWE Divas Title
The crowd were hot but the match was not. AJ does her best to carry Kaitlyn to a servicable match, but the blonde girl just 'ain't got it. Even so, she looks set to retain her title until Big E Langston coolly tips her off the top rope and allows AJ to snatch the 1-2-3.
WINNER AND NEW DIVAS CHAMPION: AJ at 6:35 (roll-up)

Match #3: CM Punk v Chris Jericho
In what would unsurprisingly be the best match on the card, CM Punk was able to pick up the 1-2-3 after a third GTS to Jericho. In a marathon 21 minute special, both men ate the other's finisher on more than one occasion and near falls abounded.
WINNER: CM Punk at 21:19 (GTS #3)

Match #4: Dolph Ziggler (c) v Alberto del Rio for the World Heavyweight Title
This uninspired feud comes to a merciful ending with Ziggler retaining the title clean following a Zig Zag onto the ring steps. Big E was on hand to roll del Rio in and Ziggler covered for the 1-2-3.
WINNER AND STILL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: Dolph Ziggler at 15:47 (Zig Zag on the stairs)

Match #5: The Shield (c) v Team RK-No for the WWE Tag Titles
The fans were red hot and the match wasn't far behind. The challengers pressed the champions with near falls on multiple occasions, including Seth Rollins eating an RKO coming off the top rope and Reigns very nearly tapping out to the No Lock.

The end came with Bryan accidentally catching Orton in the mouth with a stiff kick and Orton over-reacting with an RKO. Orton abandoned the match, and Rollins hit a foot stomp to the back of Bryan's head to end it.
WINNERS AND STILL TAG CHAMPIONS: The Shield at 14:21 (RKO + foot stomp)

Match #6: Wade Barrett (c) v The Miz v Curtis Axel for the WWE Intercontinental Title
In what was the worst match on the card, Curtis Axel was able to claim his maiden singles title following a Perfect Plex on Barrett. Barrett had just been shoved into an exposed turnbuckle by The Miz, but the awesome one was drop-kicked out of the ring and Barrett at the Perfect Plex for the 1-2-3.
WINNER AND NEW US CHAMPION: Curtis Axel at 11:16 (Perfect Plex on Barrett)

Match #7: John Cena (c) v Ryback in Three Stages of Hell for the WWE Title
In the Lumberjack portion of the match, John Cena was able to gain early points with an Attitude Adjustment. The lumberjacks played no real part in the match, save for rolling Ryback into the ring when he tried to escape Cena.

The Tables match saw John Cena eating wood (tee hee) at the 11 minute mark. He took a top rope Shell Shock through the table.

The deciding fall - an Ambulance match - saw Ryback rendered unconscious by the STF. His limp body was then walked to the ambulance and Attitude Adjusted in. A red hot crowd made up for what was a somewhat slow and uneven match.
WINNER AND STILL WWE CHAMPION: John Cena at 18:03 (STF and Attitude Adjustment into ambulance)

BEST SEGMENT: CM Punk returns
WORST SEGMENT: Kaitlyn (c) v AJ for the Divas Title
OVERALL: 83%

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​

 

[Misanthrope]

On Tap for Raw

With Ryback behind him, who will John Cena face next as he seeks to make ammends for a forgettable 2012?

Randy Orton and Antonio Cesaro both made big impacts at Payback and no doubt they'll be called to answer for their crimes as both Daniel Bryan and Sheamus look for retribution.

Dolph Ziggler backs up his successful title defense with a main event bout against Chris Jericho. Can Y2J do what Alberto del Rio couldn't?

Plus The Shield are in action against Tons of Funk and Zack Ryder and Curtis Axel faces a rematch of his Payback match against Wade Barrett and The Miz.

Oh, and there's a big return on the cards. Holla if ya hear me!

On Tap for Main Event

Epico & Primo face off with the Usos in tag action, Damien Sandow faces Santino Marella, and Daniel Bryan is scheduled to face Wade Barrett.

We'll also see all of the fall-out from what will doubtless be a huge edition of Raw.

On Tap for Smackdown

Money in the Bank is just around the corner! With sixteen spots available for the two matches - which WWE superstars will get their chance at the star-making match?

We'll see Big E Langston in action against Kane in a qualifier as well as Chris Jericho vs The Big Show for a spot.

But the biggest match? The Shield's unity will be tested as Dean Ambrose has been drawn against Roman Reigns to decide a spot. How will the brothers in arms hold up under fire from one another?

 

[Big Pete]

At least make it to Money in the Bank Mis!

Always dig your insight into how the company should be booked.

 

[Misanthrope]

I've already booked as far as the end of July (PayBack happened on June 2nd).

 

[Misanthrope]

Segment 1: A New Threat Arises

We open Raw with the usual pyrotechnics and flair as WWE Champion, John Cena struts out to the ring with the gold over his shoulder to his usual mixed reaction.

Cena: Well, that sure was something! Ryback brought everything he had and he pushed me to the edge. I'm not ashamed to say I was worried after he picked up the equalising pinfall in the tables match.

The crowd cheers.

Cena: An Ambulance match can be a career ender. You're literally beating somebody so badly that you can dump them into an ambulance. And they're trying to do the same thing to you. It's madness!

The men are booing and the girls are cheering.

Cena: But with you, the fans at my back, I was able to triumph. I was able to slay the monster that is Ryback and prove that Ryback does not Rule. No sir. I am the champ and the champ is here!

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Cole: Is that... it is! It's Scott Steiner!

King: Big Poppa Pump in the house!

Scott Steiner - the Genetic Freak - makes his way out to the ring with his genetically jacked muscles, his sunglasses, and his chain mail headpiece. The fans immediately begin to cheer, but Steiner doesn't look like he's here to play baby-face.

Steiner: You know I couldn't sit back there and listen anymore. I've been watchin' the WWE for a while now and I keep hearin' about this Cena guy. Oh, he's so good! He's unbeatable! Hustle, loyalty, respect. Bullshit! I'll rip your arms off!

And just like that, Steiner throws aside the mike and charges right at Cena. It's a brawl! Steiner knocks Cena to the floor and the two are throwing rights and lefts! The referees and security crew are out to break it up, but Steiner leaves with a smirk on his face.

He's made one hell of an impact on his return - gunning straight for the big dog.

RATING: 86%

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Segment 2: Curtis Axel (c) v Wade Barrett v The Miz for the Intercontinental Title

We're treated to a rematch of the previous night's PPV encounter as Axel makes his first successful defense of his newly claimed IC Title. This time it's The Miz who eats the pin, being tripped up by Heyman and then nailed with the Perfect Plex for the 1-2-3.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Curtis Axel at 13:07 (Perfect Plex on The Miz)
RATING: 70%

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Segment 3: Who is the Weakest Link?

After Orton's assault on Daniel Bryan at Payback, the bearded goat is in search of answers. He bursts into Randy Orton's dressing room, where the Viper is taping his wrist.

Bryan: What the hell was that last night?

Orton: You were right, Daniel. You were the weakest link. I did what you should do when you find a weak link. I broke it so it could be reforged. I did you a favour, Daniel.

Bryan: No! No! No! No! No! No!

Bryan gets right in Orton's face as the crowd chants 'No' along with him. Orton gets to his feet to stare down at D-Bry.

Orton: Get out of my face, little man.

Bryan: (Long pause) No!

Orton moves to throw a punch, but Bryan beats him to it. He bears Orton to the ground as he rains blows down upon him. Once again, referees and officials need to break them up. Tensions are high tonight!

RATING: 94%

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Segment 4: Cesaro's Explanation

We're backstage where Matt Striker is with Antonio Cesaro. Fans at home are shown footage of Cesaro's assault on Sheamus following the Irishman's win on the pre-show.

Striker: We've just seen the footage of your unprovoked attack on Sheamus last night, Antonio. Care to explain to the fans at home why you assaulted Sheamus?

Cesaro: Unprovoked? My attack was justified. For months I worked my ass off and I carried the show with ***** match after ***** match. I beat everybody the company threw at me. I was a champion. And then what? I get bumped off the card for a new flavour of the month?

Striker: I don't see how any of that is Sheamus' fault...

Cesaro: Oh, Sheamus isn't to blame. Not directly. He's just a symptom of the overall problem. He's one of those smiling, baby-kissing flavours of the month that bumps genuinely talented workers off the card. He's the giant, ginger glass ceiling and I'm the hammer that intends to break it.

Striker: How do you think Sheamus will react to your targeting of him?

Cesaro: If he's half the man he claims to be, he'll come out there tonight and he'll try and make a statement of his own.

Cesaro brushes past Striker to end the interview.

RATING: 87%

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Segment 5: Antonio Cesaro v Kofi Kingston

Kingston looks to be back on the squash list as he loses in short order despited a spirited flurry of his 'controlled frenzy'. Cesaro clobbers him with a Very European Uppercut and puts him out with a Neutralizer for the 1-2-3.
WINNER: Antonio Cesaro at 5:03 (Neutralizer)

Cesaro: Where are you Sheamus? You don't have anything you'd like to say? You don't want to get your revenge? Of course not! You're all talk and no action. You're just another pre-packaged superstar who follows the script they're set. I'm not. I'm the most excellent example of Europe. You? You're just a stereotype with a pair of tights.

RATING: 82%

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Segment 6: The Shield Gloat

We get a video from The Shield.

Ambrose: It had to happen. Didn't you all see it coming?

Reigns: We did.

Ambrose: Did you really expect your Big Red Monster to be able to stand up to somebody young and hungry? Did you expect him to escape his justice?

Rollins: We didn't.

Ambrose: Did you all believe in your new pair of heroes? Did you think Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton could do what everybody else has failed to do? What they themselves had already failed to do?

Reigns and Rollins: We didn't.

Ambrose: The Shield is here to serve justice and we will continue to do so as long as this company is rife with injustice. And as long as we serve justice, it doesn't matter who you send our way. We'll send them back battered and bruised. We did it to John Cena. We did it to Ryback. We did it to the Undertaker. When are you people going to learn?

Reigns: Believe in the Shield!

Rollins: Believe in the Shield!

Ambrose: I do.

The image flickers as the camera is dropped.

RATING: 82%

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Segment 7: The Shield v Tons of Funk & Zack Ryder

Did you really expect this motley team to stand up to The Shield? The bigger men in Tons of Funk do their best to control things early on by isolating Rollins, but Reigns soon clears them out of the ring and Ambrose is able to put Ryder out with his reverse DDT for an easy 1-2-3.
WINNERS: The Shield at 7:11 (Reverse DDT by Ambrose on Zack Ryder)

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Segment 8: Scott Steiner Speaks

Matt Striker is a busy man tonight and he's managed to corner Scott Steiner backstage.

Striker: Scott! Scott! Can we have a word!

Steiner turns around quickly, causing Striker to fall back onto his ass in fear.

Steiner: You want a word? Pain. That's a word. You want another? Agony. That's two for the price of one. John Cena is going to know these words really f***ing well. All of you are.

Striker struggles to his feet and watches as Steiner stalks out of the arena.

RATING: 77%

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Segment 9: Randy Orton v Kane

Fans with the WWE App will have seen Kane confronting Randy Orton backstage to establish this match, and the former partner of Daniel Bryan fights like a man possessed early on - very nearly pinning Orton following a Chokeslam.

Michael Cole informs us that Daniel Bryan has been banned from ringside. This is good for Orton, who rushes around the ring trying to escape the angry red monster. Kane's stalking comes undone when Orton blindsides him as he comes around the corner and plants him on the outside with a DDT.

The ref begins a count.

Orton: Stay down, Kane. This isn't between you and me.

Kane doesn't do that, and so Orton has to put him down with a different method. An RKO on the floor. He rolls him in and finishes it with the 1-2-3.

WINNER: Randy Orton at 13:33 (RKO on the outside)
RATING: 82%

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Segment 11: Lesnar Wants a New Challenge

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Brock Lesnar is on his way out to the ring with Paul Heyman at his side. The fans are torn between booing and cheering as Heyman gets on the mike.

Heyman: My client watched with interest last night as WWE Payback unfolded. It amused him to see the guys who are considered champions these days. He found it laughable that nobody in the company seems capable of dealing with The Shield.

Heyman pauses.

Heyman: But more than anything, he found it interesting to note that there is simply nobody here in his league. John Cena? Triple H? Undertaker? Nobody can stand toe to toe with my client. He is the best in the world at what he do-

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It's CM Punk!

Punk comes out to the cheering of the fans and soaks it all in.

Punk: I'm sorry, but I just had to come out and interrupt. I thought I heard you say that Brock Lesnar was the best in the world.

Heyman: I -

Punk: Mispoke? Exagerrated? Stuttered? Lied?

Heyman: Listen, Punk, I didn't mean you. Obv-

Lesnar doesn't look too pleased at Punk questioning his status. He snatches the mike from Heyman.

Lesnar: What, Punk? You think Heyman is wrong? You honestly think you're on my level?

He looks Punk over with distaste.

Lesnar: You're a spoiled indy darling. You talk a big game but the truth is, you've been found wanting whenever you've come up against a big guy. You couldn't beat Undertaker. You couldn't beat Triple H. You can't beat me.

Punk gets up in Lesnar's face and the two stare one another down as Heyman tries to get between them.

Lesnar: Run away, Punk. Run away and I'll forget this. You don't want to be on my radar.

Punk holds the stare a moment longer and then starts to turn away. Lesnar smirks.

And Punk spins back around and catches him in the side of the head with the microphone! Lesnar is stunned. Punk follows his attack up with a flurry of kicks that send Lesnar back against the ropes.

Heyman gets in between the two and though he doesn't have a mike, we can hear him shouting.

Heyman: Calm down! Calm down! Don't do this, Punk! Don't do this.

Punk is seething. He shoves Heyman aside and the former ECW leader falls down. It's the only opportnity Lesnar needs. He rushes out of the corner and turns Punk inside out with a clothesline.

Punk rolls smartly to the outside as Heyman scurries to get between Lesnar and Punk again. He manages to cool Lesnar down, but Punk is all smiles as he backs slowly up the ramp.

Punk: Best in the world!

RATING: 89%

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SEGMENT 12: Dolph Ziggler (c) v Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Title

We're still coming down from Punk's confrontation with Lesnar as this one gets underway, but Jericho makes us all forget (momentarily) as he takes it to Ziggler and very nearly steals the title following a roll-up.

It's a great back and forth match between two old foes, and we're reminded that the two have a past as Ziggler mounts a comeback.

Jericho uses every trick in the book to get things turning his way, and looks set to score a win and another title reign after locking Ziggler in the Walls of Jericho. Big E Langston is up on the apron to argue with the ref, so Jericho breaks the hold and sends Langston to the floor with a springboard dropkick. He turns around right into the Zig-Zag! 1-2-3
WINNER AND STILL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: Dolph Ziggler at 17:22 (Zig Zag)

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Cole: It's Christian!

Christian rushes down the ramp, ducks underneath an attempted clothesline from Langston, and slides into the ring. Ziggler sees him coming and is quick to bale as Christian makes his return.

Christian: Come back here, chump!

Ziggler shakes his head and grins as Big E Langston sneaks in behind Christian. Is he going to give him a Big Ending?

No!

Christian cuts him off. Unprettier! Christian's made his return and it looks like he's gunning for Dolph Ziggler's title!

RATING: 86%

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OVERALL: 83%

 

[Misanthrope]

WWE Main Event​

Segment 1 - The Usos v Tons of Funk
The opening contest on the show sees the popular Samoan pairing of Jimmy and Jey taking on the Tons of Funkadactyls and triumphing following a superkick/Samoan drop combo on Sweet T.
WINNERS: The Usos at 7:15 (Jimmy pins Tensai)

RATING: 78%

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Segment 2 - Highlight video of Christian's return and assault on Dolph Ziggler
Self explanatory really. Highlights from Christian's shock return and his attack on World Heavyweight Champion, Dolph Ziggler.

RATING: 92%

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Segment 3 - A Lesson from Damien Sandow

It's Damien Sandow in the ring soaking in the boos of the crowd.

Sandow: May I have your attention please. I am here tonight to express my distaste and my intellectual offense at the continued employment of one man who symbolizes all that is wrong with the WWE today. It's not that walking short joke, Hornswoggle. It's not the singing and dancing tubs of lard who soiled the ring earlier, nor is it that drunken Irish lout Sheamus. I speak, of course, of the offensive stereotype that is Santino Marella.

The crowd, hearing the popular undercard act besmirched, begins to boo.

Sandow: The fact that you ingrates are booing my frank and justified criticism of this fake Italian only vindicates my belief that he appeals to the lowest common denominator. He is a joke and an offense to true blooded Italians. He is Mario the plumber combined with every bad pizza commercial on the idiot box. He is...

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It looks like Santino has heard enough! He's on his way out to the ring and he looks kitted up to wrestle.

RATING: 80%

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Segment 4 - Santino Marella v Damien Sandow

Santino gets off to a promising start as he goes right after Sandow early on, but a thumb to the eye turns the tides and allows the 'Intellectual Savior of the Masses' to slow things down and heel it up. A brief resurgence gives the fans hope before Sandow ends it with the Terminus in decisive fashion.
WINNER: Damien Sandow at 8:01 (Terminus)

RATING: 84%

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Segment 5 - Highlights from Lesnar & Punk's confronation
We see footage from Brock Lesnar's attack on CM Punk on Raw, as well as highlighting Heyman's past with both men.

RATING: 90%

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Segment 6 - Big E Langston v Kane in a MITB Qualifier
The first qualifier for this year's Money in the Bank matches features the Big Red Machine against Dolph Ziggler's bodyguard, Big E Langston. In a battle of big men, the two show plenty of chemistry in a pretty brutal brawl.

The end comes with Kane looking to put Big E away with a chokeslam, but AJ Lee gets a hold of his ankle. While he turns to deal with her, Big E gets to his feet and hits the Big Ending for the 1-2-3. Big E Langston is the first confirmed participant in this year's Money in the Bank match.
WINNER: Big E Langston at 10:23 (Big Ending following AJ Lee interference)

RATING: 80%

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Segment 7 - An Unlikely Alliance

Matt Striker is backstage with the unlikely team of Dolph Ziggler and Scott Steiner. Ziggler looks a little wary to be around the clearly unhinged Steiner.

Striker: Dolph, Scott, tonight you team up to take on Christian and John Cena. How do you approach a match like this?

Steiner: How do I approach it? What kind of question is that? I walk down to the ring, I hit one of them until he tags out, and then I hit the other one. Eventually, one of them will quit or I'll pin them.

Dolph: Not if I pin one of them first.

Steiner looks agitated and snatches the mike back away from Dolph.

Steiner: Listen you bleached blonde Billy Gunn looking son of a bitch. You stay out of my way out there. The Big Bad Booty Daddy is gonna take care of business. Watch and learn.

Steiner stamps off leaving a clearly frustrated Ziggler behind.

RATING: 84%

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Segment 8 - Daniel Bryan v Wade Barrett

The crowd are hot for Bryan and despite a lack of chemistry between the technical wizard and the British brawler, this segment is by far the most exciting of the night. Barrett is given a chance to showcase his own offensive set, but it's Bryan who shines in a lengthy and ultimately victorious bout. Barrett is forced to tap out to the No/Yes Lock.
WINNER: Daniel Bryan at 16:22 (No Lock)

RATING: 85%

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Segment 9 - Scott Steiner & Dolph Ziggler v John Cena & Christian

Our main event of the evening sees Dolph Ziggler team with John Cena's nemesis, Scott Steiner against his own enemy, Christian.

The crowd is hot and the match is a surprisingly good outing considering two competitors are shaking off ring rust. Christian looks particularly good in playing the face in peril, while Steiner's involvement is kept to short spells of dominance while Ziggler takes a beating.

The end comes with run ins from both AJ Lee and Big E Langston. AJ distracts the referee when Ziggler is locked in the STF - allowing Steiner to break it up and low blow Cena. Super Cena somehow manages to kick out and tag to Christian, but AJ is again on hand to distract the ref.

This time he ejects her from ringside, but Big E Langston treats Christian to a Big Ending while the ref is distracted - allowing Ziggler to make the pin for a big win.
WINNERS: Dolph Ziggler & Scott Steiner at 13:08 (Ziggler pinned Christian after Big E Langston and AJ Lee interference)

RATING: 83%

The show ends with Ziggler and Steiner celebrating, but Steiner looks like he plans to lay out his partner from behind. Only Big E Langston fixing Steiner with a glare keeps the Big Bad Booty Daddy in check.

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Smackdown Preview​

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The Usos take on Epico & Primo in tag team action.

Sheamus has said he will address Antonio Cesaro's recent words and actions. Will the Irish rogue call out the Swiss trouble-maker?

Chris Jericho takes on The Big Show in a Money in the Bank qualifier. Will it be the World's Largest Athlete or Y2J climbing to success in July?

Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns put their Shield allegiance aside temporarily as they face one another for a place in Money in the Bank. How will the Shield stand up to this challenge to their unity?

CM Punk takes on Paul Heyman's client, Curtis Axel. After Lesnar's attack last Monday, will Axel taste his first defeat on WWE TV?