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Zelda is back in 2010

Kilkenny

Coach
Messages
13,262
Now I accept most of you on League Unlimited are non believers in the occult, voyerism (maybe not voyerism) and predicting the future but despite the sceptics amongst you I can indicate Zelda is back for 2010. She no longers has her shop premises in the Skiptons Arcade but she is back bigger and better than ever on the net with her own website.

The rules of these forums prevent from any form of promotion so I cannot reveal her website but if you google Zelda I'm sure all you internet savvy people will find her.

Spoke to Zelda today in cyberspace and her initial intervention was totally free.

Zelda had this to say about the chances of the Panthers in 2010.

We will be more competitive in 2010 at home and will win four our our 12 home games.

Our lack of wins at CUA will be compensated by our away form and we will be competitive for the first 21 rounds of the competition.

With five rounds of the competition remaining we will be sitting on 25 points.

That is when the free intervention ran out and I had to cough up an $100-00 to find out what happens over the last five rounds of the season.

I didn't have the $100-00 she so desired but for an extra $20-00 she was prepared to reveal we will definitely win one of our last five remaining games and David Simmons will be the MOM.

Zelda's crystal ball has a 100% success rate as she has accurately predicated we would be also rans in our last five seasons.

Seriously, Zelda was cagey and I understand that I was somewhat reluctant to cough up the cash to get the inside mail on the makeup of the top eight come September 2010. She did however let one thing sliip when she indicated Matt Elliot has been resigned to a new 10 year deal. Read into that what you will but I have got straight on Sportsbet, Centrebet and Anybet and back the Panthers at various odds to make the eight, top four and win the Premiership.
 
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Kilkenny

Coach
Messages
13,262
Please don't mock Zelda. She is actually a real human being just trying to make a living. I realise now many of you believe she is a fictional non entity but it is not the case. She is a larger than life fortune teller.

I gonna make a confession here and go out on a limb.

I actually paid Zelda full freight for her predictions about our chances in 2010.

Well I can now reveal, according to Zelda, the Panthers will finish 2010 in sixth position after the home and away season.

Unfortunately, she wanted an additional $50-00 to reveal how we will perform in the semi finals. I didn't have the extra $50-00. Now I am aware we are going to qualify for the semi finals I am happy to wait and see what eventuates from there. Looking forward to a great season.
 

Fibroman

First Grade
Messages
8,216
Would Zelda be able to tell me which of the Aristocraps are ready to spit out a triple yolker?
 

Kilkenny

Coach
Messages
13,262
Would Zelda be able to tell me which of the Aristocraps are ready to spit out a triple yolker?

No. Zelda has morals and is of the non - gambling variety of fortune tellers. She does not promote or condone irresponsible gambling and if you read the code of conduct hanging in her office, it clearly states, "predicting the future, through the my ancient egyption crystal ball, shall not be used for purposes associated with the playing of any gaming devices (legal or illegal), internet gaming or in connection with sanctioned racing events conducted by racing administrations promoting thoroughbred racing, harness racing and or greyhound racing".

She will however reveal future events if you are involved in gambling activity. A friend of mine was recently in Vegas and Zelda accurately predicated all would not turn out well if the friend played the 'craps ' table. The friend in question got particularly drunk one evening and at the craps table did in there pants what the name of the game alluded too.....The night went further downhill from there so again Zelda can reveal all...............
 

Kilkenny

Coach
Messages
13,262
Ask her when fibroman is going to crack the 6000 post barrier on LU?

I did I actually asked her when is Fibroman going to crack the big six.

Due to the language barrier Zelda thought I said 'sex'.

Zelda's reply was Fibroman has not had sex with a female for over six months. Well was I shocked. I was speechless.

When I gathered my faculties I asked her about Mrs Palmer and Zelda was very diplomatic only revealing that all is well with Mrs Palmer and there are no problems in that relationship. Thank goodness for that. At least Fibroman is still getting some.
 

Fibroman

First Grade
Messages
8,216
I did I actually asked her when is Fibroman going to crack the big six.

Due to the language barrier Zelda thought I said 'sex'.

Zelda's reply was Fibroman has not had sex with a female for over six months. Well was I shocked. I was speechless.

When I gathered my faculties I asked her about Mrs Palmer and Zelda was very diplomatic only revealing that all is well with Mrs Palmer and there are no problems in that relationship. Thank goodness for that. At least Fibroman is still getting some.

Very funny. Very very funny. 6002
 

Kilkenny

Coach
Messages
13,262
Very funny. Very very funny. 6002

The truth hurts my friend.

Mrs Palmer doesn't lie.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get.

You know life moves on.

I watched a really feel good movie the other day it's called, "The Boat That Rocks." Great soundtrack, happy go lucky, feel good ending. You need to move on from sad sack Robert De Niro in Apocolyse Now or that other depressing movie you have watched a hundred times. And as for Chopper get a life for gods sake. Organised Crime has moved on and so should you.
 

Kilkenny

Coach
Messages
13,262
The truth hurts my friend.

Mrs Palmer doesn't lie.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get.

You know life moves on.

I watched a really feel good movie the other day it's called, "The Boat That Rocks." Great soundtrack, happy go lucky, feel good ending. You need to move on from sad sack Robert De Niro in Apocolyse Now or that other depressing movie you have watched a hundred times. And as for Chopper get a life for gods sake. Organised Crime has moved on and so should you.

I have always been concerned about your obsession with the movie Cape Fear which you watched over a hundred times or more.

Send a quick email to the CIA on the weekend and to my surprise they sent me a reply.

Didn't say much but reading between the lines they are going to do a risk assessment on you.

If there a couple of guys in dark suits and sunglasses at the Raiders home game anywhere in the vicinity of where we sit I'd watch out. If you hear them talking, and they have american accents and so much as mention the word 'quarterback' my worst fears will be confirmed.

I'd hate to see you abducted in some covert operation and whisked off to Guantamano Bay or some other god forsaken CIA camp, particularly if you still owe me four hundred for the seats. I'd never get that cash then.

Seriously, just cough up the cash and I promise to send another email to the CIA operatives saying it was all a big mistake on my part and I will set them straight and tell them it is Notting Hill you have watched over a 100 times. That way all you will have to fear will be a restraining order from Hugh Grant at worst.
 
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Fibroman

First Grade
Messages
8,216
I've only watched Cape Fear 10 times, plus the original with Robert Mitchum a couple of times. Great film. Max Cady is my hero.
 

Pantha-Boy

Juniors
Messages
1,886
Kilkenny.... I happened to also make afew phone calls around the place when I came accross a group called Compassion Coach. I would seriously reccomend it after witnessing on numerous occasions at a particular match where you would lash out at Referees, Players and Coaches. Compassion Coach helps you deal with serious Anger Management issues. Instead of resolving the situation by walking off without a goodbye and sipping down your red wine, I reccomend you deal with the problem.
Keep your head held high and pull through this serious mental deficiency.
 

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