Drew-Sta proudly leads out the Bluebags for the first time this season, before realising Cliffhanger beat him out the sheds...
Socks on the line
The chronicle of two socks and what they go through as part of a rugby league family.
21st of January – Registration day. Male buys pair of socks. Grumbles at price. Throws in back of car and forgets location.
6th of March – Wife threatens divorce if man doesn’t clean car. Car is cleaned, man pleasantly surprised to find socks. Quietly proud of getting them so cheap.
7th of March – Man wears socks for first time to training. Team pokes fun at his ‘clean’ clothes. Man discretely rubs dirt in socks to avoid further scruitany. Throws dirty socks into bag after training.
8th of March – Wife opens trunk after stench from car ruins morning tea in the backyard. Swears several times before throwing socks into Napisan. Scolds husband for getting new socks exceedingly dirty so quickly. Man sheepishly agrees to fold clothes to prevent further shellacking.
17th of March – Man cops high tackle in game, breaking nose. Trainer has no clean cloth. Pulls shoe off then sock with it; hands sock to man and tells him to ‘Hold that to your nose to stop the bleeding.’ Man obliges and comes from field, waving to the crowd and silently pleased at his manliness. Wife hides frustration at bloodied clothes and the continued demise of her husband’s good looks. Smiles winsomely, feigning pride, when man makes eye contact.
18th of March – Wife Napisan’s socks, and tells man never to use on broken noses.
19th of March – Wife Napisan’s socks again.
20th of March – Wife washes socks and prays for lifting of stains.
24th of April – Man finds socks, after wife hides new pair and replaces with old. With glee, he takes them to training.
27th of April – Wife finds socks in back of car. Man denied sex for not bringing socks in to be washed. Man pleads forgiveness. Wife relents on the condition man cooks dinner. Pizza delivery arrives 45 minutes later.
13th of May – Wife hangs socks on line overnight.
14th of May – Man takes socks off line in haste as he’s late for training, pulls onto feet and screams. Wife runs out, unsure what is going on. Man pulls sock off. Huntsman appears at sock opening. Wife calms man, cooks steak and promises happy time. Man drinks beer, misses training citing ‘family emergency’.
20th of May – Son takes socks, unaware they are fathers. Runs on to field with socks pulled up to his thighs. Opposing coach openly taunts son. Man runs across field and decks opposing coach. All in brawl ensues. When fight subsides, mans nose is broken again. Son hands man his socks. Man puts socks to nose. Wife slaps man.
14th of June – Teenage son borrows socks. Sprains ankle as he steps last line of defence. Ankle swells up, making it painful to pull off socks. Wife looks on in horror as socks cut off so trainer can tend to injury.
15th of June – Wife repairs socks. Leaves socks on chair.
16th of June – Wife notices socks go missing.
17th of June – Man finds his dog chewing socks; blames creepy neighbour’s dog to avoid issue. Wife opens bottle of wine in frustration. Man gets lucky. Creepy neighbour watches through window.
30th of June – Teenage son takes to field, wearing mans socks to ‘break hoodoo’. Scores winning try. Claims it was the socks. Man proud of son, takes him to pub for victory meal. Man gets drunk, tells son to drive him home. Son pulls on socks and successfully navigates car home. Wife sees teenage son and man pull up in driveway; punches man in nose and takes socks off son. Son sent to room, man sent to couch. Dog sleeps in wife’s room.
7th of July – Wife washes socks, uses new fabric softener. Places clean pair in teenage sons room.
8th of July – Son remarks on softness of socks.
9th of July – Wife washes socks.
10th of July – Wife notices socks need to be washed again.
11th of July – Wife places socks back in sons room. Socks reappear in washing basket in several hours time. Wife confused.
12th of July – Wife washes socks. Places in sons room.
13th of July – Wife hears unusual sounds in son’s room; Walks in to find one sock being worn on third leg, mid stride. Wife blinks, son unsure whether to continue. Wife closes door; notices later that socks were placed discretely in washing basket.
Approx 736.