Jurassic World

[Danish]

The bit where the chick lures the T. Rex with a flare then out runs it to get it to the hybrid was pretty ridiculous

Ridiculous, yes. But they DID set that up earlier in the movie by showing that the T Rex has been conditioned to be attracted to flares through the use of food.

Ditto the raptors deciding the hybrid was bad, let's save the humans

I didn't mind this so much, although it seemed pointless that they felt the need to have the raptors switch to the hybrid's side for about 5 minutes. If they'd just had the raptors loyal to their trainer the entire time it would have made more sense.

Also the lads cruising through the jungle on motorbikes at night following the raptors

I didn't mind this either as they set it up by showing that he had a solid connection with them through training and what have you. Thus having them be reasonably ok with going on a hunt with their trainer was ok.

Having them run into the hybrid, then them have a little chat and decide they were switching sides though seemed a bit silly.

Hell even making a hybrid that had camouflage capabilities or the fact the hero survived the hybrid by putting motor oil all over himself. Come le f**k on

The motor oil I guess was to mask his scent. But who knows if that actually works.

The camoflauge they "explained" through the use of cuttlefish DNA - cuttlefish can literally do what the hybrid did - but still you'd think they'd have seen the hybrid do that all the freaking time if it had that ability.

Even the fact that there is an unstoppable killing on the loose but Indiana Jones and female equivalent just go driving off with only a shot gun to find the boys ( who Hotwire a car they just find sitting there) is pretty out there

I assumed his shotgun was going to be filled with the awesome poison from the Lost World movie, but yeah once he started unloading normal shells out of it I thought he went into the jungle vastly underarmed.

The car they used was just one of the old jeep wranglers from the original island. Would have been a diesel so a change of battery and cleaning up the injectors honestly would have probably worked somewhat (Although you'd think even diesel fuel would probably go bad after years of sitting in a tank).


Those are definite problems, but I thought you more meant plot holes. Like a huge amount of time going missing or something like that (think Dark Knight Rises where Bane robs the stock exchange in the middle of the day then during the course of their car chase with batman it switches to the middle of the night).

 

[firechild]

I loved it. Cool new dinosaurs, a reasonable showing of exhibits (lets face it, we all wanted to see what Jurassic Park was going to look like as a true theme park) and so many cool bits.

Mosasaur eating a suspended great white. (Spielberg reference with new monster better than old monster)
The rescue of the new kid from the raptor pit.
T. rex vs I. rex

and best of all, a pterosaur trying to carry a baby tricerotops away by its saddle.

The little throwbacks to the original such as the I. rex crushing the glass ball with the kids inside as the T. rex did to the 4x4 in the original and the setting for the original building with the banner and wall art.

Muldoon was way cooler than Owen though.

 

[Timbo]

What did I just watch? That movie was terrible!

Zero stars and a childhood ruined.

 

[Tommy Smith]

Yeah it was pretty shit.

All of Hollywood's wort cliche's rolled into one giant turd of a movie.

It just made me want to go home and watch the original, which was a classic.

 

[Parra Pride]

I think I may have missed something, what happened to the black guy? The last I remember he was hiding in the log when Starlord lured the Raptor away.

 

[mongoose]

it's just a bit hard to swallow that humans can outrun dinosaurs.

T-rex comes to the rescue and then just leaves, i'm surprised it didn't turn around and wave to the humans before he left. The ending was f**king stupid.

 

[Timbo]

Major spoilers below. I need to vent.

What condition would the tires have been in on that Jeep after sitting in one spot for 22 years? Not to mention that the batteries in the night vision goggles on the desk behind them still work? Ignoring the fact that these kids can apparently restore a car that has been sitting still in.one place for 22 years to working order, because they 'worked on grandpas'.

How many times did one character have a major point that would have resolved the whole plot to deliver to another only for one of them to have no phone or radio signal? It's a f**king island, you can't whack a couple of 4G towers down?

You telegraph the fact that you have one really powerful gun that can kill the I-Rex only to launch your attack at the *exact* moment it frees the flying dinosaurs that can bring down a helicopter? Which only happens because the guy on the gun has apparently never aimed at a moving target before (despite the 'we served in Afghanistan' speech when they board the chopper).

Bryce Dallas-Howard NEVER TAKES OFF THOSE RIDICULOUS f**kING HIGH HEELS despite spending much of the movie running through a jungle, and somehow outruns a T-Rex whilst wearing them when they're about 3 metres apart.

The Raptors find the I-Rex, and the new security team - who are now armed with rocket launchers - stand there and stare at it for about 90 seconds while the dinosaurs 'talk' to each other, instead of blowing it the f**k up.

Vincent Law and Orders character was a cross between a bond villain and a cartoon character. His entire plan was bafflingly stupid from the beginning. And then, after the raptors have rebelled Pratts character lets him get eaten instead of shooting it in the head. What the f**k?

The ending was beyond ridiculous. I half expected the raptor to say 'goodbye, Owen. I love you' to Pratt.

The movie didn't know what it was trying to do. The original built tension the whole way through, to the point the scene in the kitchen remains one of the most terrifying scenes I have ever seen in a movie. This juxtaposed extreme carnage with almost slapstick comedy. Every second line out of Pratts mouth is a snarky quip, even after the shit hits the fan. And the scene between the two nerdy control room workers 'I have a boyfriend' which is played for comic effect, is bookended by scenes dinosaurs eating people. The original realised that once it went bad, the tone of the movie had to shift from 'wonder' to 'terror'. People in my showing were laughing when some of the characters died because it was so ridiculous.

The visual effects are somehow worse than the original. They didn't look frightening or even vaguely real, they looked like cartoons.

The love story between Pratt and Howard was unnecessary and unbelievable. How much of a stereotype was her character? The uptight woman who realises all she ever wanted was to be loved and have kids?

This is about 10% of what I have wrong with this movie. No movie has made me this angry with it's lazy storytelling, poor direction and overeliance on bad CGI in a long time.

It's worse than Star Wars: Episode I. I didn't think that would be ever possible.

I should also point out, I'm not usually like this with movies. Even when there are plot holes in a film, I can enjoy it. This movie was just so riddled with enormous plot holes and bad storytelling for its entire duration I can't. And I think I'm particularly pissed off because there was so much potential for it to be good.

 

[Parra]

You didn't notice that they had created dinosaurs? But are concerned about the state of car tyres?

WTF?

 

[Parra]

It's worse than Star Wars: Episode I. I didn't think that would be ever possible.

Stop taking fairytales so seriously.

 

[Parra Pride]

they looked like cartoons.

Last time I saw cartoon dinosaurs they looked a lot different.

 

[Timbo]

See, whilst I can take the point about the 'fantasy' elements of the film, the problem is that the Jurassic movies have always grounded themselves in the real world.

It's meant to be 'this is what could happen right now, in this world, if we creates these creatures'.

You can't have it both ways - it's either meant to be a whimsical fantasy or its an attempt to make it slightly more believable. This movie doesn't know which way it's trying to go.

 

[Mr Spock!]

Wonder how many times they can make movies with the let's make a theme park with dinosaurs who get out and eat people.

Saw the movie.

I thought it was good.

Far better than 2 or 3.

PS I never knew women could run so fast in high heels.

 

[alien]

Last time I saw cartoon dinosaurs they looked a lot different.

awww

 

[thorson1987]

Last time I saw cartoon dinosaurs they looked a lot different.

Original by far the best.

 

[legend]

I think you guys being highly critical of this type of movie either take yourself way too seriously, need to get out more or both.

Of course there are going to be plot holes in a movie like this. It's not Schindlers List ffs. Sit back and relax and enjoy the movie for what it is. A lot of fun and escape from reality.

#-o

 

[redvscotty]

Imagine the rant you'll come out with for Terminator later this year.

Personally, I can;t wait to read it.

P.S. It's not real either.

 

[t-ba]

It was pretty good.

Not amazing, but solid. Pretty much tasted exactly like what was written on the tin.

 

[Danish]

See, whilst I can take the point about the 'fantasy' elements of the film, the problem is that the Jurassic movies have always grounded themselves in the real world.

It's meant to be 'this is what could happen right now, in this world, if we creates these creatures'.

You can't have it both ways - it's either meant to be a whimsical fantasy or its an attempt to make it slightly more believable. This movie doesn't know which way it's trying to go.

You know the original is filled with just as many plot holes and dumb decisions as this one, right?

The only difference is you were between 8-14 years old when you used to watch that and Internet forums didn't exist yet so your cynic cortex hadn't grown to the size of a grapefruit yet

 

[Evil_Mush]

Just got out of this tonight, I gotta say it was just a whole lotta big dumb fun.

My perfect ending would've been that scene with the Rex & Raptor facing each other, then both jumping up for a high 5 with their little arms.... aaaaand FREEZE FRAME!!! with power pop anthem "You're the best around, nothings ever gonna get you down!" to roll credits.

Also I saw that Terminator spoilery trailer, just like the last movie, a potentially awesome reveal moment gone begging, such a shame these instant gratification times we live in.

 

[Chicken_Hunter]

People that have a whinge about a movie like this must lead pretty sad lives. Seriously. It's a Hollywood movie where dinosaurs have been created from their DNA which has been spliced with modern day animals DNA.

Who gives a f**k about tyres on a car, or a helecopter gunner who can't aim for shit. The movie is about dinosaurs eating people. What exactly were you expecting when you went to watch it?