Melon's Matchups RND 15 Chooks -V- Tigpies
The Chooks were so flat last week, Coach Sticky almost had to holler for a Marshall. Still good to get the 2 points, thanks to "The Messiah" taking the game in his own hands and ensuring the win with a neat field goal. Not an impressive win, but a win the same, with several players backing up from Wednesday's Sh.ite of Origin. This week will be tough. Plenty of Origin stars out and plenty of fresh Cockrels flying the flag for the Tricolours.
1. Henari Veratau V Robert Miles - "The Blue Moth" is a huntin' Toad cardigans again, so "Coconut Rough" gets a shot in the number 1. This kid impressed with his limited time against the Bullkebabs recently, and looks to be a star of the future. Could take advantage of the struggling Tigpies and if he sticks to the game plan and loses the early on nerves, should go alright. His opponent is ex Chook "Mills & Boon". A smooth operator thats capable of stringing a series of heated buildups, but lets face it is only B Grade quality. Have you ever seen him in a hardback? Exactly....
2. Eric Grothe V Mark O'Halloran - Looks to me that the once lazy "Lil' Guru" seems to be taking his opportunities of late with very solid displays in attaqck and not too weak in the defensive department as expected by "Wallster" experts. A good hitout against the Bullkebabs, and looked like his tearaway dad last week, with a bit of luck this week could be his best yet. And speaking of luck, he faces the luck of the Irish in "Leprechaun". The little green winger, is even greener around the gills, with "Coach Polish" offering him a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Problem is before every rainbow there's usually a storm, and "Lil' Guru" is gonna rain on his parade. To be sure To be sure!
3. Lelea Paea V Nick Bradley-Qalilawa - Well da thunder from da subs came through that player's tunnel last week, but unfortunately "Milli Vanilli" forgot to charge da batteries in da Boom Box. Yaknowwhamsayin'? Flat although he tried, didnt really offer much in attack and his defense let him down on a couple of occassions. I think I just described his twin!! Whatever Whatever!!! Should feel better facing "Hyphen Q" who on recent perfomances could have been that twin, except he's worse, if thats possible. Needed "The Mouth" there to Grammatically correct him, dot his I's and cross his T's.
4. Ryan Cross V John Wilson - A little premature in removing the leg braces last week. The aspiring Forrest Gump "Quentin", made a couple of long range breaks and through some great passes to his outside man, but along came the intercept and he just hasnt got the speed required yet. He's getting there and if his defense continues to improve at the current rate, he'll leave "Sir Turnstiles" as the last of the great NRL speedbumps. Facing a guy who cops his fair share of criticism as well from his own fans. You may recall the game where "Good One" gets abused by a fan...."Your hopless Wilson", "You idiot Wilson"..."Get off Wilson"..."Have a go Wilson!!". That pretty much sums it up. And like the Advert, usually ends up with a call of "Good One Wilson!!!!" but in this case after the game as he hands out Gatorades to his team mates.
5. Todd Byrne V Luke Covell - The Little Doer has been doing just that lately. "Carpet" has taken the role of backline leader amongst this young mish mosh backline, and is leading the charge with some pretty solid defense from one so solidly challenged. Needs to do the same this week and cover for the inexperience surrounding him. Facing a man with a head only his mother could love. "Shovel" has been know to play himself into a hole, and if form holds will end up buried.
6. Brad Fittler V Daniel Fitzhenry - "The Messiah" proved once again to be the saviour last week as he stood up to break the Chooks Blue's blues. Will be needed once again this week to steady the inexperienced desciples, and faces a young guy with more raps than Checkpoint Charlie's Kebab Caravan. "Tight Squeeze" seems to be the one Tigpie that stands tall on a weekly basis, and faces his biggest test this week. If the shoe fits....otherwise could cop a different type of shoe horn.
7. Brett Finch V Lincoln Withers - Another performance by "Budgie" that brought the wrath of the "learned" Wallsters. Is skating on thin ice and needs to up the ante this week or "Smokin' Joe" may get the nod sooner than later. He's up against a 90kg legend. "Smithers" may not have the bulk but Zef reckons he's a mean, hard hitting enforcer. Zef is aslo a bullkebab follower. What's he gonna hit us with Zef? Your spoon???
8. Jason Cayless V Anthony Laffranchi - "Captain Caveman" had limited success last week, with a couple of solid half breaks, had the arms free and the shaggy melon turned and looking for the money ball, but no Chooks following in support. They'll need to get behind the soul glowed slothe this week and take advantage of the knuckle dragger's wishful offloads. His opponent has a huge responsibility this week. As well as being responsible for leading his forwards, "Love Glove" has been known to save millions from sexually transmitted diseases. Laffranchi....its French for Yogurt Sock.
9. Stuart Webb V Darren Senter - "Spiderman" was a little sloppy last week with the weaving, landing one across the throat of "Jim" and going on to be charged with a wreckles high web spin. Fortunately for him and the Chooks, he has no carry-over points and will play this week regardless of any guilty plea. He faces a man who's played everywhere in the Tigpies, desperately trying to make his mark. Unfortunately for "Malcolm in the Middle", he is the classic case of Middle Child Syndrome. Definitely the Jan Brady of the side.
10. Todd Payten V John Skandalis - Happy 100th First Grade game to the "Mullet" last week. Had a dig making some bullocking charges near the line, and thankfully ended up on the winning side in a tight one. He's up against "Pop Star" who was originally fabricated for this position, but like the Musical Masqueraders, has ended up another one hit wonder.
11. Adrian Morley V Ben Galea - You could sense the effort he put in was about to erupt in the stands with more chants praising "Pommie Backpacker". Lifted when needed in attack and defense as the Origin stars faded towards the end of a very tyring week. He'll be out there brewing up his usual recipe of bangers and smash this week as he takes on "Giardia". The little germ can be quite nasty, and is capable of inflicting some serious effluent flow in his opponents. This week the exception as the bug ends up tasting a piece of his own pants staining medicine as administered by "Pommie Backpacker".
12. Ned Catic V Mark O'Neill - Successfully tendering for the contract this week, "Croatian Gippie" gets a start with his do-it-less-for-cash attitude. This is his chance to impress in the starting lineup, and should mix it up well with his fellow tradesman "Yak". His opponent believes his future lies in Sports Journalism, and although "MattO" acts the bitter bullkebab, Frilingoose wanna be, he really is a fringe first grader at the Tigpies.
13. Chad Robinson V Terry Hill - "Danger Will" gets the call up from solid bench player and will attempt to fillthe vacated jock strap of "Stud for Life" at lock. Will be interesting to see how he goes with more game time in a covering role that involves a little more than one up bash and barge. Facing one of the game's most experienced performers, and a good actor to boot in "Over the". Has shown to handle playing lock, but as usual its one week on one week off for the budding retiree. Hopefully he wont drown "Danger Will" with his saliva riddled lisping sledge. FOr some reason NRL.com have an article on him being reconsidered for Origin....Nursing Home of Origin.
The Bench
14. The Yak V Fawcett
15. Laxative V Nurse
16. Brian Told Me V Free
17. Iron Man V Uncle Fester
Dont be fooled by the Tigpies lowly position on the NRL ladder. With the injuries and SOO representatives missing, this is a very hard game for the Chooks. They are inexperienced in the back and some of the forwards and the Tigpies are always hard to beat at Winnie Blue Stadium.
Chooks by 12
The Chooks were so flat last week, Coach Sticky almost had to holler for a Marshall. Still good to get the 2 points, thanks to "The Messiah" taking the game in his own hands and ensuring the win with a neat field goal. Not an impressive win, but a win the same, with several players backing up from Wednesday's Sh.ite of Origin. This week will be tough. Plenty of Origin stars out and plenty of fresh Cockrels flying the flag for the Tricolours.
1. Henari Veratau V Robert Miles - "The Blue Moth" is a huntin' Toad cardigans again, so "Coconut Rough" gets a shot in the number 1. This kid impressed with his limited time against the Bullkebabs recently, and looks to be a star of the future. Could take advantage of the struggling Tigpies and if he sticks to the game plan and loses the early on nerves, should go alright. His opponent is ex Chook "Mills & Boon". A smooth operator thats capable of stringing a series of heated buildups, but lets face it is only B Grade quality. Have you ever seen him in a hardback? Exactly....
2. Eric Grothe V Mark O'Halloran - Looks to me that the once lazy "Lil' Guru" seems to be taking his opportunities of late with very solid displays in attaqck and not too weak in the defensive department as expected by "Wallster" experts. A good hitout against the Bullkebabs, and looked like his tearaway dad last week, with a bit of luck this week could be his best yet. And speaking of luck, he faces the luck of the Irish in "Leprechaun". The little green winger, is even greener around the gills, with "Coach Polish" offering him a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Problem is before every rainbow there's usually a storm, and "Lil' Guru" is gonna rain on his parade. To be sure To be sure!
3. Lelea Paea V Nick Bradley-Qalilawa - Well da thunder from da subs came through that player's tunnel last week, but unfortunately "Milli Vanilli" forgot to charge da batteries in da Boom Box. Yaknowwhamsayin'? Flat although he tried, didnt really offer much in attack and his defense let him down on a couple of occassions. I think I just described his twin!! Whatever Whatever!!! Should feel better facing "Hyphen Q" who on recent perfomances could have been that twin, except he's worse, if thats possible. Needed "The Mouth" there to Grammatically correct him, dot his I's and cross his T's.
4. Ryan Cross V John Wilson - A little premature in removing the leg braces last week. The aspiring Forrest Gump "Quentin", made a couple of long range breaks and through some great passes to his outside man, but along came the intercept and he just hasnt got the speed required yet. He's getting there and if his defense continues to improve at the current rate, he'll leave "Sir Turnstiles" as the last of the great NRL speedbumps. Facing a guy who cops his fair share of criticism as well from his own fans. You may recall the game where "Good One" gets abused by a fan...."Your hopless Wilson", "You idiot Wilson"..."Get off Wilson"..."Have a go Wilson!!". That pretty much sums it up. And like the Advert, usually ends up with a call of "Good One Wilson!!!!" but in this case after the game as he hands out Gatorades to his team mates.
5. Todd Byrne V Luke Covell - The Little Doer has been doing just that lately. "Carpet" has taken the role of backline leader amongst this young mish mosh backline, and is leading the charge with some pretty solid defense from one so solidly challenged. Needs to do the same this week and cover for the inexperience surrounding him. Facing a man with a head only his mother could love. "Shovel" has been know to play himself into a hole, and if form holds will end up buried.
6. Brad Fittler V Daniel Fitzhenry - "The Messiah" proved once again to be the saviour last week as he stood up to break the Chooks Blue's blues. Will be needed once again this week to steady the inexperienced desciples, and faces a young guy with more raps than Checkpoint Charlie's Kebab Caravan. "Tight Squeeze" seems to be the one Tigpie that stands tall on a weekly basis, and faces his biggest test this week. If the shoe fits....otherwise could cop a different type of shoe horn.
7. Brett Finch V Lincoln Withers - Another performance by "Budgie" that brought the wrath of the "learned" Wallsters. Is skating on thin ice and needs to up the ante this week or "Smokin' Joe" may get the nod sooner than later. He's up against a 90kg legend. "Smithers" may not have the bulk but Zef reckons he's a mean, hard hitting enforcer. Zef is aslo a bullkebab follower. What's he gonna hit us with Zef? Your spoon???
8. Jason Cayless V Anthony Laffranchi - "Captain Caveman" had limited success last week, with a couple of solid half breaks, had the arms free and the shaggy melon turned and looking for the money ball, but no Chooks following in support. They'll need to get behind the soul glowed slothe this week and take advantage of the knuckle dragger's wishful offloads. His opponent has a huge responsibility this week. As well as being responsible for leading his forwards, "Love Glove" has been known to save millions from sexually transmitted diseases. Laffranchi....its French for Yogurt Sock.
9. Stuart Webb V Darren Senter - "Spiderman" was a little sloppy last week with the weaving, landing one across the throat of "Jim" and going on to be charged with a wreckles high web spin. Fortunately for him and the Chooks, he has no carry-over points and will play this week regardless of any guilty plea. He faces a man who's played everywhere in the Tigpies, desperately trying to make his mark. Unfortunately for "Malcolm in the Middle", he is the classic case of Middle Child Syndrome. Definitely the Jan Brady of the side.
10. Todd Payten V John Skandalis - Happy 100th First Grade game to the "Mullet" last week. Had a dig making some bullocking charges near the line, and thankfully ended up on the winning side in a tight one. He's up against "Pop Star" who was originally fabricated for this position, but like the Musical Masqueraders, has ended up another one hit wonder.
11. Adrian Morley V Ben Galea - You could sense the effort he put in was about to erupt in the stands with more chants praising "Pommie Backpacker". Lifted when needed in attack and defense as the Origin stars faded towards the end of a very tyring week. He'll be out there brewing up his usual recipe of bangers and smash this week as he takes on "Giardia". The little germ can be quite nasty, and is capable of inflicting some serious effluent flow in his opponents. This week the exception as the bug ends up tasting a piece of his own pants staining medicine as administered by "Pommie Backpacker".
12. Ned Catic V Mark O'Neill - Successfully tendering for the contract this week, "Croatian Gippie" gets a start with his do-it-less-for-cash attitude. This is his chance to impress in the starting lineup, and should mix it up well with his fellow tradesman "Yak". His opponent believes his future lies in Sports Journalism, and although "MattO" acts the bitter bullkebab, Frilingoose wanna be, he really is a fringe first grader at the Tigpies.
13. Chad Robinson V Terry Hill - "Danger Will" gets the call up from solid bench player and will attempt to fillthe vacated jock strap of "Stud for Life" at lock. Will be interesting to see how he goes with more game time in a covering role that involves a little more than one up bash and barge. Facing one of the game's most experienced performers, and a good actor to boot in "Over the". Has shown to handle playing lock, but as usual its one week on one week off for the budding retiree. Hopefully he wont drown "Danger Will" with his saliva riddled lisping sledge. FOr some reason NRL.com have an article on him being reconsidered for Origin....Nursing Home of Origin.
The Bench
14. The Yak V Fawcett
15. Laxative V Nurse
16. Brian Told Me V Free
17. Iron Man V Uncle Fester
Dont be fooled by the Tigpies lowly position on the NRL ladder. With the injuries and SOO representatives missing, this is a very hard game for the Chooks. They are inexperienced in the back and some of the forwards and the Tigpies are always hard to beat at Winnie Blue Stadium.
Chooks by 12
