Nothing says......

[The Charlatan]

merkins in shopping centres who walk in a line blocking the path then stop for no reason. Hope the merkins like a stroller or trolley to the ankles.

Also people who walk down the aisles in supermarkets (to the side at least) bu stop when they see someone they know to talk, whilst blocking the aisle.

Someone should write a book on shopping centre etiquette.

 

[The Charlatan]

Oh, and people who talk on mobile phones while being served by an assistant. Pure dickfarmerism.

 

[seaeagle sam]

Old merkins who stand in the middle of escalators and then, when they get off at the top, come to a dead stop making you have to dance around them like a stupid twat so you don't knock them over.

 

[seaeagle sam]

Families having a spur of the moment reunion in supermarket isles and not giving a shit you can't get past.

 

[MrAnonymous]

merkins who let their kids run a muck and do nothing to stop it.

 

[The Rosco]

Parents, usually mothers, that buy their kid a babycino.

Nothing good will ever come of your kid if you have to buy it a baby fkkn cino.

Learn to sound out these 2 letters. N, and O.

 

[Bazzi]

- People who take too long at the ATM when knowing that there are others waiting

- Non-Polynesians with tribal tattoos

- Old people that think it is their god given right to be selfish and grouchy to everybody just because they're old and think they deserve some special passage or treatment everywhere they go

- merkins that don't say thank you when you blatantly give them way, it's not such a hard thing to do, f**king gives me road rage

- That one guy you know that you rarely ever see but when you do he won't shut up and will talk so much shit about his life and make himself sound like some hero while you sit there just nodding and thinking "this guy is a total wanker"

- People who wear hats backwards

- People who order the most complicated coffees at a cafè

- Businessmen who feel the need to talk loud and obnoxiously on public transport, about their "meetings" and other shit to make themselves feel important

 

[Lambretta]

- Businessmen who feel the need to talk loud and obnoxiously on public transport, about their "meetings" and other shit to make themselves feel important

Or people who talk on their phones for longer than it takes to say "I'm on a train, I'll call you back"

I don't give a shit what person a) who I don't know, will never meet and don't care about, said to person b). It's not f**king important and I don't need to hear it.

If you want a f**king phone conversation on a train, use text and put your phone on silent.

Is it any wonder I refuse to travel anywhere without my lovely ipod to drown these f**kers out.

Oh, and people who listen to their ipods too loud on public transport - they're wankers too.

 

[Surrogate]

People who take selfies deliberately showing the selfy stick in the shot to hilight the fact they are using one.

 

[The Charlatan]

To expand on Bazzi's point, old merkins who think manners are only mandatory for everyone else.

I don't give a f**k if you've been on the planet three times longer than I, if you need to get past you still need to politely ask me to move, and you should say thank you for me complying with your request. Don't stand there huffing like a sooky Bassett Hound.

They wonder why kids don't reciprocate respect anymore.

 

[BrisbaneRhino]

People who stand on the 'empty' side of escalators during rush hour, preventing commuters using the fast lane. Why do they never ask themselves why nobody else is stood on the right side??

The first person on the walking side of the escalator who, on finding themselves behind somebody who is not moving, doesn't ask them to move. If anything the logjam on said escalator is more their fault because they know the rules. And they are wusses because they say nothing.

Anybody who drives past a queue of traffic when they know their lane is going to merge in 50m. I've taken to being an equal w*nker on a particular road that does this near my home by deliberately driving in the middle lane and blocking them. Makes me feel equally self-righteous and w*nkerly at the same time.

Kids who cannot ride or do tricks on a skateboard but insist on doing so in the middle of town. Mate, we can all see you are currently sh*t. Go away to somewhere private and then come back when you can actually flip the thing and land on it.

Kids wearing t-shirts of bands that ceased to exist years before they were born.

Grossly fat people who eat tiny meals at lunchtime. Do you think we actually believe that you eat like that at home? Crack out the pies and be proud of being overweight or hit the gym.

AFL 'evangelicals'. What part of "I am not interested in your sport" does not compute?

Australian soccer (sic) fans. Band and wagon combining methinks. I'll let you into a secret. The A League sucks and the Asian Cup is full of the worst teams in world football. Except possibly England...

Charity workers on the streets. Not talking about the older ones who've been doing it for years, but the kids who block footpaths at just about every sodding intersection trying to get you to sign up for something or other.

RL fans generally. We whinge about our sport more than any other fans, and yet seem surprised that everybody else doesn't immediately recognise RL as the 'greatest game'.

Rather worryingly, there's far more where they came from. I am Victor Meldrew and I claim my $10.

 

[mongoose]

Canberra has people with this attitude that nowhere on earth is better than this idyllic paradise, despite never having been further away than Mollymook. Tossers.

this sounds like a load of shit. Half the people that live in Canberra are usually from somewhere else and are their for work. Most people born in Canberra can't wait to leave once they are old enough. I was born their and I think it's a sterile, boring shit hole of a city (no offense to those who actually like the place).

Now people from Melbourne and Sydney (esepcially Melbourne) think they are in the best most cultured city in the world. I love telling Melbourne tossers that their city is a country town compared to London/Paris/Berlin and you can get better coffee in Toowoomba.

Sydney folk are bad too. Living in Brisbane you get lots of wankers from Sydney constantly putting the place down and implying how unsophisticated Brisbane is compared to Sydney. Go back to Sydney then f**kwit!

 

[veggiepatch1959]

Being a 55 year old dude who looks a bit younger, what shits me is these 40 something attractive women you meet at a club or pub who are suddenly all over you.

Next minute, the slimy whores are introducing their husband to you.

It still happens even though I've been in a new relationship since November last year.

Sorry wannabe cougars....I have the ultimate...an ultra cougar who is four years older than me. At least she is hotter than all you tarts and has a brain to boot!!!!

Gotta love Bundaberg...nope.

 

[Lambretta]

So it's their husbands that are probably the wankers as they're chasing the 20 somethings hoping they will swap their pussy for drink money

Meanwhile the 20 somethings are looking for better opportunities elsewhere and are being shopped as mail order brides for people that live somewhere better. Like the black hole of Calcutta

 

[Lambretta]

this sounds like a load of shit. Half the people that live in Canberra are usually from somewhere else and are their for work. Most people born in Canberra can't wait to leave once they are old enough. I was born their and I think it's a sterile, boring shit hole of a city (no offense to those who actually like the place).

Now people from Melbourne and Sydney (esepcially Melbourne) think they are in the best most cultured city in the world. I love telling Melbourne tossers that their city is a country town compared to London/Paris/Berlin and you can get better coffee in Toowoomba.

Sydney folk are bad too. Living in Brisbane you get lots of wankers from Sydney constantly putting the place down and implying how unsophisticated Brisbane is compared to Sydney. Go back to Sydney then f**kwit!

I like Canberra - it reminds me of my home town. Plus I don't have to live there.

Melbourne has better coffee than London, Paris and Berlin. So I wouldn't make coffee the single point of reference when trying to work out how relevant a City is. But in Melbourne's favour, at least it's not Toowoomba.

As for Brisbane, it is unsophisticated - but then again so are large parts of Sydney.

PS Most of the sophisticated World doesn't have Rugby League - that's why I don't want to live in the rest of the World. Give me unsophisticated with Rugby League over pretentious wankerism without the footy any day of the week. Brisbane's alright in my book (so is Toowoomba really)

 

[firechild]

Would of, could of, should of.

F**k I hate the butchering of the English language that happens these days.

 

[veggiepatch1959]

Would of, could of, should of.

F**k I hate the butchering of the English language that happens these days.

It's the same as questions being answered with a "Yeah...nah" reply.

WTF does that mean? It's either yes or no....plain English please.

My second gripe are those who say "It happened like twenty years ago".

Like nineteen years ago, or maybe twenty-one years ago? Who f**king knows?

Third gripe - "You need to cook that steak for a good ten minutes". As opposed to a bad ten minutes?

FFS...ten minutes is 600 seconds in anyone's book.

 

[Bastard Squad]

It's the same as questions being answered with a "Yeah...nah" reply.

WTF does that mean? It's either yes or no....plain English please.

Haha, I love that abbreviation, it means Yeah I see where you're coming from on that point but nah I don't agree with you.

 

[Lambretta]

Haha, I love that abbreviation, it means Yeah I see where you're coming from on that point but nah I don't agree with you.

No, most commonly it means "I say YEAH to pretty much anything said to me without thinking about what I'm saying and then the thought process slowly winds its way into my tiny little brain and I find that I don't actually agree but the most intelligent thing I can come up with is NAH"

 

[Lambretta]

Third gripe - "You need to cook that steak for a good ten minutes". As opposed to a bad ten minutes?

FFS...ten minutes is 600 seconds in anyone's book.

It will be an appalling steak if you cook it for 10 minutes

Steaks need about 3-5 minutes tops

So in this case it will be a BAD 10 minutes as the steak will end up dried out and tough as old boots. Unless of course you're cooking it so you can throw it at someone and do permanent damage.